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Battletrap

[Accepted] Battletrap - Unathi Whitelist Application

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Posted (edited)

BYOND Key: battletrap360

Character Names: Dan Rodney
Species you are applying to play: Unathi
What color do you plan on making your first alien character (Dionaea & IPCs exempt):

Dark Grey
 

Why do you wish to play this specific race:

I wish to play as a character of the Unathi race due to the opportunities to create fun, and unique Roleplay tailored to the depth of the race's established lore. This race has obvious, and distinct cultural differences in comparison to other races on the station, offering RP from a different outlook than the general, human perspective. Alien races are immensely beneficial to the experience of simulating a world of science-fiction, and their unique quirks craft one-of-a-kind story telling experiences that aren't possible otherwise. Due to the nature of this game, I understand that, in order to achieve the highest quality of Roleplay, restrictions must be placed in order to further increase the immersion of the SS13 experience, and provide a better gameplay environment for all players. I would be honored to be allowed the privilege of playing as a character of the Unathi race, and if given the opportunity, I will give the best of my ability to improve the Aurora Roleplay experience, and uphold the lore that has been built upon by this community.

Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human:

Overall, the Unathi are a more involved with racial traditions, and hold themselves at a far stricter social standard. For instance, the roles of each gender are concrete, and any deviation from such would be considered taboo. Another example would be the high regard, and worship of their ancestors, something that is far less common among the Human race. Because of the destruction of the Unathi homeworld, Moghes, they are a very bitter, stubborn people, far less forgiving than what you would expect of a Human. Their connection to their ancestry is so profound, that they cannot tolerate being referred to by anything other than their family name. The caste society of Moghes, although not formally introduced outside of the Unathi home planet, still holds a very active role in their culture. Also, they have rather odd, and unique social queues. These queues, although subtle, help seperate them from the crowd of regular, human crewmembers. The honor code followed by the race can also change the gameplay experience in unique ways, such as a avoidance of ranged weaponry, and loyalty to their clan.

Character Name: Sark-Kharness
 

Kharness, a Unathi of short temper, and a hardworking manner, was born within a small family residing on Ouerea, and taught in the ways of the Th'akh. He had spent his early life helping his family catch fish out on his father's boat upon the waters of Um'a'yid. On dark, cold nights, after a long day's work of fishing, his father would pull out a small, worn book, and read aloud tales about great Kharness people from long ago, following their success, accomplishments, and the advantages they had gotten by fueling the once extremely high demands for Warmounts on Moghes. The family used to be treated like royalty, surrounded by the fruits of their hard work, and success. Despite the great family heritage described by his father, the family was but a shadow of its former glory. What had once been a great, honored family of hard-working, successful Warmount tamers on beloved Moghes had become nothing more than measly fishermen within the city of Um’a’yid. Although his family was by no means poor... It made Kharness sick. Why must he disgrace his family name being a petty fisherman? 

For the early years of his life, this tore at every fiber of Kharness's being. He must join his great ancestors, bring back that long-lost fortune and pride that once followed his family name. Although following in their exact footsteps would prove unfruitful, due to the end of the wars, (and the greatly reduced need for Warmounts because of this), something else must be done to bring glory to his family name. But how is he going to accomplish this feat? This fishing community is all he has ever known... Where is he to even start? Where could he go, or even do to gain this fortune? These thoughts grew unbearable as his life went on, growing in intensity, passion, and meaning. This continued up until he had eventually found a gleaming ray of hope... A simple job opening advertisement by a corporation of the name, "Nanotrasen". Upon showing it to his father, he was first met with disapproval, as his father was quite skeptical about this type of risk, knowing that moving out into the depths of space is no laughing matter. After further thought however, Kharness, the old boatman, begun to liken to the idea of this risk. Maybe if he were to let his son take the leap, it would lead to a far greater path for the clan, and maybe he would even have the chance to arrange Karness's marriage with a wealthy, space-faring type. His mind was finally made, and he, with some hesitation, permitted his son to take the journey, venturing into the stars above. Perhaps, this is Kharness's chance to find his glory, to make his father proud, to be something more than just a measly fisherman...  something to be remembered by generations to come...

What do you like about this character?

What I like about this character is that he has a higher purpose than simply earning a paycheck. He is willing to take this chance to not only honor himself, but his family name. He will have a fresh perspective on the station and its inhabitants, as well as strong ties to his species's culture.

How would you rate your role-playing ability?

Although I am most certainly not the best, I make an rather strong attempt to construct believable characters, and promote a Roleplay environment that is not only enjoyable for me, but my fellow SS13 players as well.

Edited by Senpai Jackboot
small improvements

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There are a few problems with this app.

Firstly, there's not enough on the "what makes this species different". You seem to focus on the wrong things. While there is ancestor worship, there are other facets of Unathi culture that you do not mention. Like the actual religions, or history, etc.

Now you mention you character is blue. Being blue is very rare, akin to an albino human. Blue Unathi would be excluded and ostracized from society. They are seen as weird things that no one wants to touch.

Now, the whole wanting to come back to his ancestor's ways is cool. But how does joining an off world company, as far from Moghes as you can be, to be some lowly security officer instead of a hunter or a tamer help him reconnect with his ancestors.

More personality from the character would be great, too, the app is a bit short as it is.

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4 hours ago, Battletrap said:

Welp, so I guess that means my application is declined?

What?! Of course not! You can always edit the app! And I'm not even a species maintainer. I'm just giving you my criticism. I'm not reviewing your app, Jackboot or someone else will do that. Edit the app now so when they review your app in 3 or 2 days you'll get the app you want.

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Knowing Battletrap from the time's we spent on Oracle, I can vouch for him in his ability to role-play. Whether or not they know our unathi lore, I'm confident they know what they are doing. They can certainly pull off playing as a seven foot lizard who dies in the kitchen freezer, that's for sure. I'll give it a uneasy +1

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Hello! Sorry for the delay. As others said, you do not need to worry if you have some issues with your application. An application should never just be tossed out like that; that would be really mean!

For your app itself, I did see in this thread and in our brief DM's that you've found more information about Unathi since making this app so I think I will respond to a few things with some stuff you may find interesting, then address your backstory.
 

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For instance, the roles of each gender are concrete, and any deviation from such would be considered taboo.

This holds pretty much true, though there are some differences depending on the religion that your Unathi would follow.
https://wiki.aurorastation.org/index.php?title=Unathi_Religion

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Another example would be the high regard, and worship of their ancestors, something that is far less common among the Human race

Again this is determined by the religion, with the second most common religion being the monotheistic Sk'akh,
 

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The caste society of Moghes, although not formally introduced outside of the Unathi home planet,

The fuedal society of Moghes interacting with the more liberal colony of Ouerea is a major cultural division within the Unathi species and may be interesting to you.

Now with those out of the way, I will get to your app and try to tie these comments into questions about it.

My primary questions are,

What religion does Kharness follow? Religion is a huge part of Unathi and his general cultural outlook on a lot of things will be informed by whether he is Sk'akh, Th'akh, Si'akh, Aut'akh etc. That is the big question for me.

The smaller question is how his Clan feels about his departure. Leaving it all behind to go to Tau Ceti would be a big deal for them. Did he leave behind any obligations? Is he the 2nd, 3rd, or 4th son that he doesn't need to worry about marriage, or do they say he can find a suitable wife in Tau Ceti?

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