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DanseMacabre

[accepted] CobaltTheLizzer's Unathi Whitelist Application

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Posted (edited)

BYOND Key: DanseMacabre

Character Names: Coenraad Nieuwoudt, Florian Dal Farra

Species you are applying to play: Unathi

What color do you plan on making your first alien character: Ash grey Moss Green

Have you read our lore section's page on this species?: Of course!

 

Why do you wish to play this specific race: I recently came out of the scalie closet. This was a daunting task, and involved a sit-down with my family, and a virtual sit-down with all of my friends. Here is an image depicting the real life version of what that looked like:

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I digress, anyway. Many people on Aurora have suspected for a time that I was a closeted scalie, so the virtual coming out was very easy. In fact many of my friends are scalies, and we celebrated by extensive ERP in DMs. When did I first have a scalie experience? Well, it must've been when I lived in Sparks, Nevada, in 2007. That was almost the year the recession happened! My family had just moved there, and a combination of the recession and the fact the family business didn't attract nearly as much attention as it did back here, in New York. I turned 6 in 2007, but I didn't get many gifts at all. Surprisingly I didn't lose my shit, which a 6-year old typically would when they get, like, three things for their birthday. Anyway, I got a lizard. A gargoyle gecko, in fact. There were a lot of lizards in Nevada, mainly blue bellied lizards (also known as the western fence lizard). I never caught one, but accidentally crushed one with a rock, which I felt very sad about. We buried it next to the place where we buried my little brother's lizard (He got one too, a leopard gecko.) Anyway, I don't condone giving pets to children, terrible idea really. I was really fascinated by the lizards - fascinated with all animals really. I loved Steve Irwin as a child, and even to this day I've got a zoologist streak in me. I don't know what happened to my gargoyle gecko, but whatever. We didn't have it by the time we moved back here. Over time my appreciation for lizards would grow - there were none here in New York until recently (Italian wall lizards, escaped from a pet store. They're very hardy, and the climate of Long Island is survivable for them.), but my family would visit Florida often. I would always try to catch lizards, be they brown anoles or green anoles. The green ones are harder to catch because they're tree lizards, and also they pee on you if you catch them. Brown anoles were more common, and also had this sick fan they use to pick up chicks. Wish I had a fan to pick up chicks! Though in general I'm not interested in dating anything but a cute lizard girl, you know?

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Look at this fucking chad. 

 

I completely glossed over the fact that my late Grandpa (Cancer in 2011, died too young unfortunately) bought us a lizard in 2010. A leopard gecko - still alive, which is impressive considering that my siblings aren't the best at taking care of it. We named it Bubbles, because it's covered in bumps. Wow, creative, right? Fuck you asshole. Sorry, wasn't talking to you, talking to my brother. He's asleep right now, just felt like calling him an asshole. Anyway, we moved to Florida eventually. Again, only for a year. Funnily enough, we left for the same reason: Family business didn't take off. You'd think that I'd be a furry, considering we make all of our money grooming dogs. Irony, right? Anyway, don't try grooming dogs outside of the state of New York, if my parents' track record is any indication. Anyway, there was also a bunch of frogs in Florida. We had a small puddle get filled with tadpoles once. One time we found a pair of frogs on our window. Big frogs, at that! I don't remember what species they were, but we'll pretend they were cuban tree frogs. image.png.964550642e506e7a6b46c5be6a1abac8.png

Shame they're invasive, really. Just like the anoles. Well, the brown ones. The green anoles were native. I looked that up to make sure, and, yep, native. They have a fan too, but I forgot about that because, again, less common that the brown ones. And they pee on you. Really, fuck any animal that pees on you. That's why I won't be playing a green Unathi, I don't like pee. Anyway, my scalie tendencies would lie dormant until 2018, when I befriended my BEST BUD and FELLOW SCALIE Aticius. I was playing Bay and talking about it in a discord we shared, and he displayed interest in coming to play it again with me. And then we became buds. Really nice, romanced some lizard girls, normal SS13 stuff really. Slowly the lizards would become a greater component of my life, until the summer of 2019. I graduated High School and we went to Mexico. Riviera Maya, in fact. Very pretty, monkeys all over the resort. And iguanas! Fucking huge iguanas. Real chads, I took so many pictures. 

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This isn't zoomed in by the way, he came this close to me. We went to this waterpark, right, associated with our resort. Remember my grandpa? The dead one, yeah, well, he's why we were able to go on this trip. He had like a membership or something and we used it. Mexican resorts didn't care to check if he was still alive, I guess. Anyway, I made a lot of friends with the iguanas. They'd come under your chair and eat the fries you dropped. There were another types of lizard, but not nearly impressive as the iguanas. That's because the iguana is the top dog of the lizard food chain. Not really, but I like them a lot. Anyway, I eventually came back from Mexico. Unless I didn't, and this is all a dream? I have pretty vivid dreams. Last night I had one about Jimmy Neutron's dad being attacked by The Thing and getting turned into the split-face thing, and me and a guy took a helicopter to save him. But then it turned into CDDA, and a monster crashed into the helicopter, and the dream ended. That's not a joke, by the way, that's just ONE of the dreams I had last night. 

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Then I befriended this guy called Skyglazer. Don't call him Skygazer, it isn't his name. We met in a Lifeweb-themed discord. Great dude, real huge scalie. Probably a lizard in real life? I suspect he's an alligator. A small one, though. Eats too much soy. That's why Drarak Lezakh likes soy so much, he's a self-insert. So my two best friends are scalies now, right? So they're a good influence on me. They rub off on me. With their scalie juices. Hopefully not pee, that'd be gross. Fucking green anoles. Very pretty, but never play with animals that pee on you. Not even grasshoppers. I love grasshoppers, in fact I love bugs in general. Not as much as I like lizards.

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This was in Mexico too. Grasshoppers, what is their deal? Complete freaks. Sorry, did I get off-track? Didn't mean to. What was the question again? Why do I want to play an Unathi? Well, it all started in 2007, when I moved to Sparks, Nevada.

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Okay place, really, my favorite cousins live there. Anyway, no need to tell that story, not really relevant. So anyway, after I quit Baystation because of a number of things (It sucks ass! Ever hear of boosters? Catgirls, horngirls, bunnygirls. One time I saw a 5'3" femboy catboy booster. Fuck that server. I hate furries, they suck. No Taj over there, though, so I guess even broken clocks are right twice a day. What's the other thing? Not sure, we'll have to find out.) I decided to come play Aurora. Aurora was hard to get into. I tried like three times, and only this most recent time did it stick. The problem is that for a while moving to Aurora felt like a step down from Bay. In certain aspects, really. Like sprites and stuff. I don't really like NanoTrasen either. A little boring, don't you think? Everyone does it, like, jesus. But this time it stuck, thank God. So I'm here not, but I'm not a scalie yet. Well then I invite Aticius, my best bud, to come play Aurora with me. And at first he's like "No way!" but then he's like "Okay!". And then Skygazer comes to play with us too. Skyglazer, I mean, fuck. I didn't mean to do Skygazer. It was an accident. We all have accidents. Like the green anoles, peeing all over my hand. I'm just trying to hold you, asshole. Statistically speaking, you have never been safer in your life than you were when I was holding you. So they play lizardpeople, because they're scalies. And my Grootvelder (Coenraad, whose like a Space Boer. Shoutout to Geeves, who is like a space Boer but without being in space.) romances a lizard. Tzarka. Kinda reddish-brown, she was. And then I videotape myself emoting kissing a lizard. Crazy, am I right? And then everyone makes fun of me and says I'm a scalie. And I'm like "Nooo! I'm not a scalie! Being attracted to lizard women does not make me a scalie!". Like, if you're attracted to tall women, that doesn't make you a tall woman. It just makes you attracted to one.  

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Like, come on. But I guess that joke's on me, because I'm a scalie. And so I finally feel like coming out as a scalie. This is the real me: I am a scalie. Remember to PM me scalie porn, any that you wish. So why do I want to play the Unathi? Because I'm a scalie. How did I become a scalie? Well, it all started in 2007, in Sparks, Nevada. Long story short, lizards. Great creatures.

 

Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human:

Well. It's the simple fact that the UNATHI man is the epitome of male dominance and masculinity.

Let's start by looking at his body. His body is large. His domineering size makes his presence known without him even needing to point himself out. He is muscular, as a result of his high levels of testosterone and exposure to the harsh land that is Moghes. This gives him the appearance of health and strength. He is then covered by scaled skin. This scaled skin reminds us of his ruggedness, a feature that developed due to being exposed to the scorching sun of Moghes, made to withstand such an extreme condition. It also has a psychological effect on the observer. The scaled skin reminds us of our dark, deep desires that emerge from our primal subconscious past. Deep ♂ dark ♂ fantasies

The UNATHI man's demeanor is one of alphaness. He is dominant, assertive, and can be explosively aggressive. His behaviour strikes fear into the more timid, cowardly races of the galaxy(h*man dogs)

The summit of expression of his masculinity on his body is his tail. The UNATHI tail is largest of all the races. As the tail is the penultimate symbol of manhood, this alone would suffice to make the UNATHI man the most masculine of men. This large tail is able fulfill the desire all UNATHI men feel - the desire to kill. Its length and girth ensures that when it strikes you, a h*man dog, you will be killed.
In total, the UNATHI man expresses this masculinity in a most exemplary manner in combat. When he fights, he is able to rip apart any creature with his bare hands. H*man dogs fear him, and the cowardly H*mans use barbaric ranged weaponry to try and destroy him.

All this is the reason why the UNATHI man is the epitome of masculinity

Here's another example of what makes playing an Unathi different from playing a Human: 

Quote

Human loreman takes out his wiki and pulls out a page.

Lore Reader (suddenly enthused): What's that, a faction?

Human loreman: New one. What do you think?

Lore Reader lifts it up and examines the faction dynamic carefully.

Lore Reader: Whoa. Very nice. Take a look.

He hands it to Skrell loreman.

Human loreman: Just finished lore review yesterday.

Skrell loreman: Good worldbuilding.

Human loreman: That's Frost. And the faction is something called ATLAS.

Taj loreman (envious): ATLAS?

Skrell loreman: It is very cool, Human loreman. But that's nothing.

He pulls the Glorsh wiki page out of his browser and slaps it on the

discord.

Skrell loreman: Look at this.

They all lean forward to read it.

Lore Reader: That's really nice.

Human loreman clenches his fists beneath the table, trying to control his anxiety.

Skrell loreman: AI uprising with a singularity.

(Turning to Human loreman)

What do you think?

Human loreman (barely able to breathe, his voice a croak): Nice.

Lore Reader: Jesus. This is really super. How'd a frog like you get so tasteful?

Human loreman stares at his own lore and then enviously at the Skrellian page.

Human loreman: I can't believe that the players prefer Skrell lore to mine.

Alberyk: But wait. You ain't seen nothin' yet.

He posts his own lore.

Alberyk: Three-way civil war, memes, no furries...

Human loreman (choking with anxiety): Impressive. Very nice. Let's see Unathi lore.

Unathi loreman posts an image from the reworked Unathi lorepage in the discord lore channel: "UNATHI ART, AURORASTATION WIKI, FEMALE UNATHI." Human loreman swallows, speechless. The sound in the discord VC dies down and all we hear is a faint heartbeat as Human loreman stares at the magnificent specimen.

Human loreman: Look at that subtle tannish coloring. The tasteful thickness of her tail. Oh my God, she even has frills...

His hand shaking, Human loreman clicks the image and stares at it until it fills the screen. He saves it to his smut folder. The sound returns to normal.

LRP player: Is something wrong? Human loreman, you're cooming.

Need I say more, gentlemen? 

Quote

 

Character Name: Cob'allte Th'lizar

Please provide a short backstory for this character: Sure. First and foremost is the fact that Cob'allte Th'Lizar is NOT like other Unathi. For one, he was raised by two Guwans. They were not really Guwans, instead being accused of crimes they did not commit. Cob'allte is also very large, approximately nine feet tall, and heavily muscled. His gaze is very intimidating. In fact, you feel so scared looking at him that you can't stand to meet it. You feel obligated to do anything he says - his deep, commanding voice resonating within you. He grew up in Tau Ceti, so he has no accent. Furthermore, he was actually a part of NanoTrasen Special Forces, HAPT division. He knows about the death squads, because he fought alongside them. He is a master of all combat forms, and is easily able to kill just about anyone he meets. Furthermore, his wiener is very long.

 

This was my original character proposal. However, I was told that this was not acceptable, and my application would be denied if I tried to use it. I was very confused, but maintainers such as Geeves would not tell me what the issue is. As such, I have written a much inferior character to serve as an initial offering, before switching later on. 

Character Name: Kot'zai Ilsek

Please provide a short backstory for this character:
 

Quote

 

  Kot'zai Ilsek was born in 2434, in the southern hemisphere of Moghes. A native of the city of Razir, his family was one of peasant fishermen - their wealth coming from the sea in the form of the fish staple that for so long had been the most reliable foodstuff available to the Unathi. As is normal of both a citizen of the Hegemony and of the city of Razir, the hatchling's family practiced the faith of Sk'akh. When the contact war broke out but three years after his birth, the life of the hatchling and his family changed relatively little, technically speaking, at first. His father was an older man, too old to fight, but his older brothers did opt to fight for the cause of the Hegemony in glorious battle - and died for it, with every one of his brothers falling in the war, one by one. The oldest of them, Ihilks, would survive long enough to die in the nuclear fire that ended the war (Ironically no longer a soldier, he died as a result of the atomic bombing that ruined the city's countryside.) Raised by his mother to take up that trade which fed so many in these trying times, the sea mostly unmolested by war, the young Ilsek would have been a promising fisherman if he actually cared for the trade he was being brought up to work. No - his brothers had been honorable warriors, fighting for their lord against the treasonous, nearly sub-Unathi masses of the Traditionalist Coalition - why should he not? Alas, too young to fight before the war ended, Kot'zai was cheated of his chance to bring the fight to his enemies and avenge his brothers.
 
    Nuclear fire scorching the land only made his family's work all the more necessary as refugees from the newly-created wasteland marched towards the relative prosperity of the surviving Izweski - an especially true fact for Razir, whose countryside was devastated by atomic bombing. Hungry refugees would die without food, and the only food to be found was fish. And so the young Kot'zai would work and work for years at that - work he did not enjoy at all, slaving away at sea to do the labors that his clan had done for generations, and which his brothers had so luckily escaped. Only did he, too, escape his work when his father died - already relatively old when he was born, the patriarch would pass away in the mid 2450s. And so, the young man would finally have an opportunity to follow in the path of his brothers without the ire of a father who does not wish to lose his only remaining son. Admittedly, there was some great trouble in that - he had no experience as a warrior and skilled fishermen were a bit more necessary than incompetent soldiers in the post-war Hegemony. It would be years before he could put the sea behind him for good - with the reconstitution of the venerable and honorable class of warriors that were the Kataphracts. Attaching himself to one group as a Kataphract-Hopeful, in time the wannabe-warrior would make his way to Tau Ceti, a place with no lack of conflict.
 
    Though attached to established warriors who saw great success fighting whatever they could in the heart of Human space, the Ilsek proved a poor student. Though eager, he was seen as being a great annoyance - his demeanor overzealous and in terms of skill, hopelessly inept. Even worse, his passion and zeal would melt away when faced with a threat, and in mock duels and when viewing true combat he would flinch and panic. Though a capable servant, he was eventually told quite bluntly that he was not yet ready to be a warrior, and largely abandoned. In the immediate aftermath of their departure, the despondent Unathi would struggle for weeks to even find purpose - convinced that he was an individual out of balance, having spent too long expressing the aspect of the Fisherman and neglecting the Warrior and a Healer - he feared for his very existence, worried that in some way he was so out of balance as to be wicked, and that if he perished a stranger in a strange land, he would be cursed as all evil Unathi are.

    Now alone in Tau Ceti and with a mostly useless skillset, he had the good fortune of being at least well-built - and therefore suited to manual labor. And thus he engaged with NanoTrasen, becoming a shaft miner - all while longing and planning to somehow follow in the footsteps of his oh-so-honorable brothers.

 

 

What do you like about this character: I like that he is a lizard. I feel very connected with this character. In fact, I feel like he is an extension of myself, if you will.

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How would you rate your role-playing ability: God-tier, but I don't bother roleplaying on Aurora. None of you are on my level.

 

Notes: What do you mean, is this a joke? There's no joke here but you, asshole. Not talking to you guys, btw, talking to my brother again. Anyway, thanks for reading. You can contact me at Cobalt the lizzer#4973 on discord.

Edited by SleepyWolf

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1 minute ago, Coalf said:

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Personally I think this is very rude. Colbalt is a very good roleplayer and it seems he has a very good grasp of the lore. Honestly, this level of complexity in a post can only be achieved by someone who has spent an extensive amount of time planning their character and planning their application. +1 from me. 

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+1, I want to keep the new Danse-- I mean, Cobalt. This will be his very first alien whitelist after 32767 years of only roleplaying as white human young men with short hair who work in security. I am glad he finally discovered his true affinity for lizards when one of his humans sloppily kissed Tzarka on the mouth.

You know, I feel personally responsible for Dans-- Cobalt's transformation. You see, when one of my lizards- tall, muscular, powerful, stylish, gunned down Coenraad using the power of friendship (and lasers), I could tell what Cobalt was thinking. "How could I lose? Aren't humans number one?" With each laser that hit Coenraad, his new identity became more and more assured.

Furthermore, his character concept is great and I have been sent pictures of Cob'allte's weiner via Discord DMs. It is indeed as long as he says in the application. Probably the longest weiner in Unathi history.

Surely after roleplaying the same character archetypes for 87 years has taken a tax on poor Cobalt. You should seriously consider giving him the Unathi whitelist so he doesn't have to play humans anymore, with their-- frankly, small-- weiners.

I'm creating a new character as we speak purely to be one of Cob'allte's many girlfriends, and all my current characters will be giving up everything just for a chance at his gigantic lizard body.

Trust me, it's huge. I'm changing my +1 to a ×9999, multiplying the amount of support this application has received. There is no way you could deny this.

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Leutnant you need to wake up, you've been in a coma ever since you got shot during our fifteenth round of church in the same week.

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I hate you. I cannot fathom what part of your stupid lizard brain thought this was even a half decent thing to do. My parents told me never to because it would give me cancer, and yet I think seeing your post for half a millisecond bathed me in 25 million rads from Fallout. You are quite literally everything wrong with this community condensed into one man, and if it were not for the laws of this land I would have had you executed, your headless body paraded as an omen of health; the wicked bitch is dead. There are no words in any human language to emphasize what I am going to do to you if I meet you in person, except perhaps "pulp" and "sec help maint ling suck".

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+1. Cant say anything about Coenraad. He's got a dumb name. Florian was a very interesting character though, despite how little ive interacted with him. 

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Iz saesseoz zs ks kulaos os sk izi zuleku. Ir oza le auleluhou ol asar uh. Eh zea akki rihiolsohoslu ze aheul resl sh. Zeul eh a. Ok ls e il. Oh ek urar za ks zousasu s ze su irso. Ar ak sl ki ha re al. Kskiku zaerih alo seak zalear s erel sr es le us so. Ozro zi. Uliih sk ih aksuh. Uz lias. Al. Ss ih. Sulesk es uas

+1

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Just now, mwhit030 said:

-1.

Unathi are dumb. Therefore. This application is dumb.

-1.

Ban this dude

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1 minute ago, SleepyWolf said:

mwhit has been banned thnak u 4 reportring it to scalie dev :)

thank you very much scalie dev, do you think you will be able to accept my application sometime today? I want to start playing soon

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i want cobalt to take me behind the bathroom airlock and get banned with me

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