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The first time I played ss13 went something like:


Thundy

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>get out of cryogenics aboard the USS Sulaco.

>See some dress shoes

>pick them up

>smash myself in the chest a few times before finally figuring out how to wear items

>stumble around until I end up in maintenance tunnel across from Cargo

>hear explosion

>start vomiting

>start halucinating

>die screaming for help in tunnel


It was a good day to die.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Three minutes into the round, I was getting my bearings, figuring out how the game works. A guy tells me he has something cool to show me. Get succed by vamp. Stumble around station and collapse due to blood loss.


Eventually figured out how to ask for help on radio.

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I arrive on-station with many lights destroyed, blood in the halls, and power failing in many areas. I take a moment to get my bearings and follow the signs to the medbay, where I begin my first ever SS13 round as a medical doctor. The only medical doctor, in fact. Long story short, it was a xeno round and I ended up hiding in a locker in virology until I had my guts turned into a hat.

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My first round was on Nox. I joined as an assistant and screwed around in main tool supply for like 30 minutes trying to figure out how to use tools. A mime comes and stun gloves me, dragging me into maintenance. I find out how to use the radio and yell that the mime is kidnapping me. Everyone on the crew says thats just what mimes do. The mime proceeds to succ out my brains with their changeling proboscis.

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Gather around, everyone. Let's all hear about what I did when I was a noob.


My very first day playing SS13 was very fun. Do note that I did all of this in a day. First ever round when I joined SS13, from what I recall, was on Apollo. Spawned in as an assistant, no idea what I'm doing. I hadn't even escaped arrivals yet. Another assistant walks up to me and starts pulling me along. I ask where I am and where I should be going, they reply, "Follow me, I will show you around" and takes me into maintenance.


Dude was a changeling. I get eaten and I don't even realize it until I'm dead. Darn.


I hop off for a bit and read the wiki and wait for the next round.


I join in as an assistant again, I figure out how to use the radio, pull things, so on... Then I decided to explore a little!


I discovered what happens when you open an airlock into space. I never stood a chance.


Week 2 after I decide Apollo isn't for me (this was mid 2014 apparently), and the other servers don't do it for me, especially not as much Goon since I was absolutely bad at playing on Gooncode. So I join into Aurora on the account that predated OneOneThreeEight.


So I join in as a drone to explore the map and actually figure out what I'm doing. This is only week 2 so I'm not even close to knowing much about the game. For the very first time I interact with an air alarm. I hit the button to 'siphon' not exactly sure what it meant but, for me, I was just a newbie with a lack of imagination or inference for context clues. I was not very impressionable when I was 16-17.


Enter SoundScopes into my internet life. God bless that man for bwoinking my stupid ass, as I siphoned the air alarm to the bar. I deny these heinous accusations absolutely true assertions that I siphoned the bar. I was honestly scared about getting banned and didn't tell the truth. Very silly of me to do, since he apparently had logs that I synthetically fondled the circuits of an air alarm. He didn't tell me this, of course, but he did teleport me from the scene of the crime that I escaped which totally shocked me. I was quickly spooked and I logged off immediately, having been caught in the act.


This was my first ever encounter with an administrator. Probably not the best encounter you can have but it was a decent enough start for me to understand that rules were actually important to follow. And also not to lie. Lying is dumb because not only can you be caught doing it but it doesn't set good precedent for anyone you play with. It's stupid.


I don't really remember too much else but after that ban that I sat on, I made a new account, blew off Apollo/Hypatia and then just played Aurora a lot. I have too many stories from then and now to really put into a singular post. Still plenty of fun though.

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  • 3 months later...

After reading up on this weird game called Space Station 13 I decided to join a server. I picked out one that sounded alright and loaded it up. I threw together a character (didn't want to be one of those silly bald guys, you know) and clicked join game. I figured "Well, I'm hearing a lot about these clown fellows, better go security because gun = good". Join the round, and wander around the arrival shuttle a bit. Managed to find my way out and made it to the security checkpoint. I see 'security' and think "Oh! I'm one of those guys, this is the place for me". It's around this time I noticed a cargo tech watching me.


I walk into the checkpoint and try to figure out how to open the locker to get my stuff. The cargo tech followed me in and I get a message that I feel a tiny prick and I fall over. I get that good succ and die.

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> Join CM

> Shoots self in the foot

> Shoots nco in the foot

> decides to play civilian role

> Civilian Doctor

> Internal Affairs officer comes in, i am the fernando gonzales of my time

> I take mercury in a syringe and give him it

>he gets brain damage

>I attempt to cute his brain damage with surgery while hes awake

> Him resisting caused his head to become dismembered

> cmo walks in

>I take officer's gun and shoot the cmo

>Marines rush in

>I kill myself


To this day Im still banned from all medical roles on CM

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Get drafed into spess

Spend 10 minutes going through clothing lockers on the arrivals shuttle because I thought this was relevant and/or important

Go to robotics, people comes pouring in, wanting to be borged

Borg a few, they just keep coming

Guy comes to the desk, offers me an INFINITE CAPACITY POWERCELL

Ask what the catch is

Dont borg my next patient

"No problemo"

Next patient comes in, run the debraining gig

Patient dies, stuff his remains and brain in disposals, tote my infinite capacity cell around

Evac is called, go to shuttle

Entire fucking shuttle explodes on departure

Die instantly

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It wasn't the first time I played SS13, but the earliest memory I have of the game.


I had been playing security officer for a few months, and this was a couple years before servers had set in stone brig times. Once, the HoS called me into his office because I put a criminal in for like ninety-nine minutes. He basically told me to stop and actually put people in for reasonable times. I told him I saw a space carp out the brig airlock and when we went to check, I tried to space him but ended up spacing myself instead.

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Gather around lads, let me drop some knowledge on you all...


I saw a video about a ss13 review (you know the one) and decided to play it since I am a fan of spess. I go on a server the review was on and looked at my options. Being a good noodle I checked the rules and researched how to play security, only to my dismay it was agelocked. I pick robotics and get quickly bored and end up walking around. Towards evac I was waiting for the shuttle when a bomb goes off and I get sucked out into the void. I went to the server list to try to find a different server that would hopefully have no agelock and stumble upon Aurora, I picked security cadet and ended up watching the checkpoint until I got memed by mercs.

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The first time I played was technically 3-4 years ago on Bay. My GF at the time was into it, so she convinced a bunch of us to play. We all joined as assistants and her as chef. We ended up making a ton of wish soup, and she got talked to by admins because "A kitchen full of assistants raises some eyebrows." We really did look greytidey. No real shenanigans happened until one of my friends got drunk, gibbed himself, and then we made burgers out of him.


Didn't really play again until I found Aurora in April this year. First round, I joined as Librarian. Went well, until a bomb went off in the bathroom next door. Someone walked me down to mining to get a suit, and we went to the escape shuttle. Then I got called a meme character and ridiculed in LOOC because I played Wynter with a pink FLB. I almost quit but decided to go "fuck that" and here I am.

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  • 2 weeks later...

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