Ratacas Vaurca app [Denied]

#1
BYOND Key:Rataca6060
Character Names:Oscar Tennant
Species you are applying to play:Vaurca
What color do you plan on making your first alien character (Dionaea & IPCs exempt):RGB 101, 0, 0 (might have reservations to this as i dont know its colour)
Have you read our lore section's page on this species?:Yes.
Please provide well articulated answers to the following questions in a paragraph format. One paragraph minimum per question

Why do you wish to play this specific race:The hive mind dynamic seems more appealing to me than the other dynamics going from a human character and the species itself doesn't seem to be as common as the other ones while playing and i would like to explore the RP around the different hives and how people respond to the species. Ontop of the fact i like insectoid things anyway. I also quite like the thought of playing a humanoid space insect.

Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human: Apart from the fact they are space insects which opeate in hives with a different society and biology etc. The bound would be mindless drones who have to obey orders and are specialized into one role. The unbound would be more human like due to not being labatomised and having more free will but still highly specialized into one role and spend time/have spent time in VR. Both are also usually (heavily) augmented to specialize them more. They also cannot communicate in common well.

Character Name: Za'Akaix'Tek' Zo'Ra
Please provide a short backstory for this character, approximately 2 paragraphs
Za'Akaix'Tek' Zo'Ra was born to the glorious Ta'Akaix'Zoleth'akeh Zo'ra brood destined to become a warrior unbound for the brood. After the maturing process the neural socket was inserted and the virtual realty training in warfare of hive was started.

Whild spending time in virtual reality Za'Akaix'Tek' Zo'Ra took a intrest in Combat engineering, force protection, gurillia warfare and Inteligence operations. During his exposure to such things he also became intrested in how and was allowed to study how the Humans conduct warfare, with the limited information on Humans he decided he would attempt to collect more on the matter to better both his knowledge and the hive's knowledge.
Leaving VR reality with Just enough military training in his preffered fields to get by, he was met by the crippling food shortages of the brood the woes of being out of virtual reality and feeling hungry.
Luckily being allowed to study at Nanotreason Academy [blank] and escaping the broods food shortages. Za'Akaix'Tek' Zo'Ra enrolled with the intent to become a security cadet for them.

What do you like about this character? They are willing to leave the brood to study what they are interested in both for themselves and the brood.

How would you rate your role-playing ability? Im decent at it. Might prefer to just do the job i have on the station rather than chit chat much. So i think i would be suited for a species thats highly objective in its actions.
Notes: This is mostly a repeat of my previous app bar the bio and some other segments.

Re: Ratacas Vaurca app

#2
Its been a bit and no feedback. Could you get some feedback on your character? I must say, I have watched when I was on and I did not see you. Advertising in the round is another good way to get some feedback.

As for your application, What do you think Tek did when they were training to be a combat engineer?

Can you describe to me when Tek first realized there was a food shortage on Caprice? What were their immediate reactions?

Re: Ratacas Vaurca app

#3
Bygonehero wrote:
Sat Jun 16, 2018 8:31 pm
Its been a bit and no feedback. Could you get some feedback on your character? I must say, I have watched when I was on and I did not see you. Advertising in the round is another good way to get some feedback.

As for your application, What do you think Tek did when they were training to be a combat engineer?

Can you describe to me when Tek first realized there was a food shortage on Caprice? What were their immediate reactions?
Do you mean feedback on this character or the one i play on Aurora?

And for the other two is that write another segment of the backstory?

Re: Ratacas Vaurca app

#4
Any character you play on the Aurora, feedback lets me know how you roleplay, make sure to advertise in a round. You don't need to add to the backstory to answer those questions, simply answer them.

Re: Ratacas Vaurca app

#5
Bygonehero wrote:
Sun Jun 17, 2018 10:59 pm
Any character you play on the Aurora, feedback lets me know how you roleplay, make sure to advertise in a round. You don't need to add to the backstory to answer those questions, simply answer them.
I just play security officer or cadet, im all right when i play.

She would have found they are starving when they left VR. And for the most part opinion less or mildly worried.

And CE training would have been done in VR to cover Fortification building, Minor construction skills (for building fortifications and such also to destroy them), Demolitions etc. And any related skills to what a leader of soldiers would get.

Re: Ratacas Vaurca app

#6
Rataca wrote:
Mon Jun 18, 2018 12:49 am
Bygonehero wrote:
Sun Jun 17, 2018 10:59 pm
Any character you play on the Aurora, feedback lets me know how you roleplay, make sure to advertise in a round. You don't need to add to the backstory to answer those questions, simply answer them.
I just play security officer or cadet, im all right when i play.

She would have found they are starving when they left VR. And for the most part opinion less or mildly worried.

And CE training would have been done in VR to cover Fortification building, Minor construction skills (for building fortifications and such also to destroy them), Demolitions etc. And any related skills to what a leader of soldiers would get.
Alright, tell me a short paragraph story about each of these things. You need to breathe life into this character, That's what I've been trying to convey. Specifically, write a short paragraph about Tek blowing up a building in VR, and Exactly how Tek found out about the shortage when they left VR. The more descriptive, the better as this is a story about your character, a snapshot of their life. Not a job application.

Re: Ratacas Vaurca app

#7
Bygonehero wrote:
Mon Jun 18, 2018 4:48 am
Rataca wrote:
Mon Jun 18, 2018 12:49 am
Bygonehero wrote:
Sun Jun 17, 2018 10:59 pm
Any character you play on the Aurora, feedback lets me know how you roleplay, make sure to advertise in a round. You don't need to add to the backstory to answer those questions, simply answer them.
I just play security officer or cadet, im all right when i play.

She would have found they are starving when they left VR. And for the most part opinion less or mildly worried.

And CE training would have been done in VR to cover Fortification building, Minor construction skills (for building fortifications and such also to destroy them), Demolitions etc. And any related skills to what a leader of soldiers would get.
Alright, tell me a short paragraph story about each of these things. You need to breathe life into this character, That's what I've been trying to convey. Specifically, write a short paragraph about Tek blowing up a building in VR, and Exactly how Tek found out about the shortage when they left VR. The more descriptive, the better as this is a story about your character, a snapshot of their life. Not a job application.
Will edit this post sometime this week with it, this is to let you know i saw it.

Teks combat engineering training consisted of varied skills including building structures and demolition of various structures. Weeks were spent in virtual reality to perfect each skill viewed as important to a combat engineer. At one point four days were spent learning how to create and then attack a tunnel system (doors, lighting etc included).

Tek found out the brood was having food shortages a short time outside virtual reality when noticing the numbers of warriors of the brood drastically decreasing and also not being the first in line for food and thus going hungry. In addition to most of the skills learnt in virtual reality of combat engineering being used to help produce resources for the tribe and their militant origins being mostly overlooked.

(second one will be sometime this month or later today pending if i think of anything for it)

Re: Ratacas Vaurca app

#8
hey there :)
here's a few things to HELP:
A good way to make your character feel alive is to include an outside force and how your character would react to it. Here, we're only seeing your characters training, nothing of how they deal with problems.
For one of my characters, Ka'Akaix'Gorb, he sells budget translators and gambles to get credits, as well as buy kois from the station for his brood with that money.
Or Ka'Akaix'Ghoz, who was forced out of the VR system to work, and is trying to find ways to cope, ways such as trying to augment the real world so he can control everything - just like he could in VR.

If you add a story to your character, with goals that fit to the setting and reactions that make the character unique, you'll get somewhere with this application. Vaurcae do have personalities, and your application right now is lacking it, it feels like an application for a bound drone.

Good luck, can't wait to see if you improve it!
Image
Aez Goldhorn says, "Come lisssten to an old piratesss ssstoriesss."
Ka'Akaix'Gorb Zo'ra says, "Want to, hzz ... buy szome transzlatorsssz, madame?"
Saamp Oie says, "Name's Deathflower. Let's work fast."
Toronto-88 shouts, "It's ME! THE BULLDOZER!!"
Sonorous Zouzoror says, "Iron Masssk Zouzoror, on duty."
Akino states, "Don't forget to look in your Nanotrasen Deep Space Survival Guide and Procedure Manual for tips to survive this shift!"
Rudu Tabro-Rae'shi says, "Comrrrade, let's get drinks!"
Drea Mirmtar growls, "Some people don't like herrr food, those people deserrrve to choke."

Re: Ratacas Vaurca app

#9
SleepyWolf wrote:
Sat Jul 14, 2018 8:36 am
hey there :)
here's a few things to HELP:
A good way to make your character feel alive is to include an outside force and how your character would react to it. Here, we're only seeing your characters training, nothing of how they deal with problems.
For one of my characters, Ka'Akaix'Gorb, he sells budget translators and gambles to get credits, as well as buy kois from the station for his brood with that money.
Or Ka'Akaix'Ghoz, who was forced out of the VR system to work, and is trying to find ways to cope, ways such as trying to augment the real world so he can control everything - just like he could in VR.

If you add a story to your character, with goals that fit to the setting and reactions that make the character unique, you'll get somewhere with this application. Vaurcae do have personalities, and your application right now is lacking it, it feels like an application for a bound drone.

Good luck, can't wait to see if you improve it!
Shall edit it at a later date then.

Re: Ratacas Vaurca app

#10
Its been a bit, so I will be moving this application into its final phase. From the moment of this posting, you have a week to make any changes you desire, or post new information about your character. I really want you to succeed, and if you have any questions at all during this time let the loremaster, my deputy or myself know.
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