[Denied] Killstrike's dionaea whitelist application

#1
BYOND Key:
Character Names: chip, void, rob, grath, tree child, the afterlife, welder, steel.
Species you are applying to play: Dionaea
What color do you plan on making your first alien character (Dionaea & IPCs exempt):
Have you read our lore section's page on this species?: yes. really cool.
Please provide well articulated answers to the following questions in a paragraph format. One paragraph minimum per question

Why do you wish to play this specific race: the reason I want to play as this race is because in space station 13 RP, there's one problem: food. food kind of gets in the way of productivity as well, so I could also be a better roboticist. the Dionaea also perk my interest greatly in their lore. another reason is because it seems easy to survive as a Dionaea. plus, its getting extremely boring roleplaying as a human. coming up with a new name every time seems challenging as well.

Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human: well roleplaying as this species means that you have to act more like the Dionaea, and not a human in terms of the lore. another difference is that since we are humans in real life will be a challenge to "copy" the personality of another race, and it seems like a fun challenge to do so. another fun challenge I suppose ill have to do is every time I have to split the worker up, ill have to come up with a new name every time they remerge, and humans cant change their name.


Character Name: speak into the fire.
Please provide a short backstory for this character, approximately 2 paragraphs this takes place after him wanting to chip a Dionaea to transfer his mind. and failing over and over. Dionaea was found as a vermin pest by josh foster as a single nymph, mistaken as a cockroach. he tried to burn it with a welder, but set something on fire. the nymph took interest in the fire, and named itself so. josh foster knew what it was now. he remembered the legend that if you protect a nymph with your life, they absorb and transform the martyr.
josh foster then attempted to follow this myth, whilst more nymphs soon followed. now the nymphs combined into a worker, the worker thanked josh foster, and the worker left. the worker came up with the name speak into the fire as its new worker name. speak into the fire, when josh foster's shift is done, takes over as roboticist as some of the other nymphs seemed to perk interest in robotics.

What do you like about this character? honestly I think ill like trying to come up with a new name every time I have to emergency split. the backstory seems decent enough for me, and I'm satisfied with my application now.

How would you rate your role-playing ability? experienced.
Notes: I worked REALLY hard to get this application done. tell me if I have to add anything.

Re: application for dionaea race whitelist

#2
You know you can play the same character each round right? Antag-rounds are not canon, so if you die during them your character can continue to exist. You don't have to change your character name every round start
trash memes
Spoiler:
Image
Image
Image

Re: application for dionaea race whitelist

#4
Alrighty, I might as well go into full in-depth review of this, because I feel it may be best if I do.

To start, no Ckey, thats a must, even if it is your forum name it still should be included.

Next, your character names, these are the characters that you normally play, that way players can post feedback for what they think your characters are. They aren't meant to be 'names that you might play as when you get the whitelist.'

Moving onto the paragraph section, among the large amounts of grammar errors, a majority of the answers don't actually answer the question. The other major problem I have with this application is, you seem to really just want to play this for the mechanics, it doesn't appear you have read the lore-page what-so-ever even though you say you have, or maybe you have just skimmed over it.
killstrike wrote:
Sun Aug 12, 2018 9:52 pm
Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human: well roleplaying as this species means that you have to act more like the Dionaea, and not a human in terms of the lore.
This literally just repeats what you were asked, you don't say anything here other than "its different because its different.", not a single example of HOW they are different is used, your next sentence also doesn't even fit into the question, nor is it correct by lore standards.

Moving onto your story, first let me say, I do not what-so-ever agree with how your character is played, it is as if you haven't read any small bit of the lore of the server. Your character Josh has apparently died many many many time, but is able to copy himself with this 'chip' that he has, so he can 'transfer his memories', if this is some sort of cortical stack type of thing, the only species that has anything like that is the Vox, and its technology that is not touched by human space, because the technology is majorly unknown. The fact your character has this ultimately undermines a large majority of the lore, therefor it is super duper unrealistic to have.

There are way too many things to go over in one forum post, in all honesty I do not believe this should be accepted, and I think you should message someone on discord (Be it me, one of the lore devs, or someone) to go over lore with you, because it doesn't seem you have a good grasp on the server lore.
trash memes
Spoiler:
Image
Image
Image

Re: application for dionaea race whitelist

#5
You've got the spirit, but the app is... not up to par, as already explained above. Toaster really hit all of it.

My suggestions?
-Reread the Dionaea wiki page. Like, really read it.
-Look at past applications: they're in the whitelist archive!
-Reach out to the lore team if things are confusing or you want to run ideas by them
-Spend a bit more time playing on the server. I mean maybe another week or two, not a day.
-Reapply when you're ready. Keep the lore wiki open for reference.

Don't get discouraged! Stay DETERMINED. You just need to answer the questions more thoroughly and get some more experience with our lore. Unfortunately, I cannot support this app as it is. I like your drive, but we need to make sure our lore is represented properly in game through the characters.
Image
Discord: Eels! The Musical#9351
(I don't pay attention to the Aurora discord server unless pinged.)
= = =
Current Characters:
Spoiler:
Wynter Steele - Librarian/Corp Reporter - Pink Poetry Pest
Kizikh Guwan - Gardener - The Guwan Garden
Sazya Xichi - Miner - Edict-breaker, Rock-breaker
Sikaevi Suhn'Krashzkrikh - Security Officer - "Jussst call me Sssunny."
Nahjiya Khayaram - Maintenance Technician - "Rrrrepublicanism is bloodshed!"
Hadiyya Nejem - Chemist - Rebel With a Beaker
Rowan "Miss" Fortune - Cargo Tech - Delightful Dreg
Beatrix Saint-Claire - Head of Personnel - Classy Crew Caretaker
Mari Tanaka - Captain - "Together, We Survive"
Mehreen Al-Dimashqi - Chef - Human Grandma in District 6
Samirah Al-Kandari - Janitor - Big Janitor, Big Sister
Ka'Akaix'Myrz C'thur - Phoron Researcher - Vivacious, Voracious Vaurca
Ka'Akaix'Daze Zo'ra - Bartender - "Hey doll, what'zz your poizzzon?"
Amadi Udoka - Medical Resident - IAC Helper
Moth-3R - AI - A literal mother-unit.
Marceline Finch - Mechatronic Engineer - 0% Social Skills, 100% Sleepy
H.A.R.P.I. - pAI - "How exciting!"
Moth - Stationbound - Hovers near the light.
Misfire - Raider/Merc - Would rather shoot the shit than shoot 'em up
Tpr. A'dab "Sphinx" El-Safin - ERT - "Salam, Aurora. Grandma is here for you."
Retired:
Spoiler:
Rafia Lakhani - Maintenance Technician - Frontier Grandma
Zizi'Azik Kuhwinla - Janitor - "Messes for Zizi?? Okay okay!"
Azulzi Sinensiz - Merchant - Treacherous Trader
Image
Image

Re: application for dionaea race whitelist

#6
I'm not writing this to be mean but as stated above repeatedly you seem to want to play it purely for mechanics when the race is restricted on a whole other level. What you write fills me with certainty that even if somehow this got accepted, it would be detrimental to the race and the whitelist holders.
Therefore I want you to jump on the discord server which will be listed in Elohi's signature and ask questions there, we might be mostly quiet but ask away, we'll answer. Reread the lore a few times too, and look for Elohi's secret page if you really want to get on his good side.
Characters
Spoiler:
All Dionae "Witness" characters.

Re: application for dionaea race whitelist

#7
Hello @killstrike ! I've let this sit because I've been busy and in hopes that you would return to listen to the other's recommendations and maybe ignored them because you were also busy or accidentally forgot, but it doesn't seem like you've taken their advice any. It's important to keep an eye on your applications, and to also take other's advice. So, I'm going to move this along and show you what I'm looking for, and what should be fixed- please make sure to read through everything to the end!
killstrike wrote:
Sun Aug 12, 2018 9:52 pm
BYOND Key:
Character Names: chip, void, rob, grath, tree child, the afterlife, welder, steel.
Species you are applying to play: Dionaea
What color do you plan on making your first alien character (Dionaea & IPCs exempt):
Have you read our lore section's page on this species?: yes. really cool.
So with this one, you have two major mistakes. Your BYOND key (AKA username for the SS13 game client) is missing. This is required so we know just who to give permissions to if their application does get accepted. The next is the character names. These aren't what you want to name your character, but what character names you have used in the past so we can recall any IC interactions characters have had with yours and therefor judge your abilities to roleplay.

Please provide well articulated answers to the following questions in a paragraph format. One paragraph minimum per question

Why do you wish to play this specific race: the reason I want to play as this race is because in space station 13 RP, there's one problem: food. food kind of gets in the way of productivity as well, so I could also be a better roboticist. the Dionaea also perk my interest greatly in their lore. another reason is because it seems easy to survive as a Dionaea. plus, its getting extremely boring roleplaying as a human. coming up with a new name every time seems challenging as well.
I'm going to be honest with this one. This seems like a poor answer- it feels though as if you're trying to pursue the race merely for mechanics. The purpose of these applications are not to see your interests in the species' mechanics, but rather to see how well you handle the lore aspects, and of how much you know about it. If I were you, I would make the parts about their mechanics obsolete and more expand your interests in the lore, if you have any.

Additionally, you should have a solid character that has been established. Basically, create your own character and save the character so it is a persistent character in the game that you develop like they're a part of a main story instead of just a random passerby. Like I said, we judge in-character interactions, and if you don't have an established character, we can't tell how well you stick to the background story you've created for them and how well you stay in-character without breaking immersion.

Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human: well roleplaying as this species means that you have to act more like the Dionaea, and not a human in terms of the lore. another difference is that since we are humans in real life will be a challenge to "copy" the personality of another race, and it seems like a fun challenge to do so. another fun challenge I suppose ill have to do is every time I have to split the worker up, ill have to come up with a new name every time they remerge, and humans cant change their name.
Your first point isn't terribly convincing. I want the how of it, and you should expand on just how is the species from playing a human. Your second point should belong in the first question that this application asks you, as this entry is asking you how it is different from playing as a human, not why. And it seems like you haven't read the lore with your third point- you shouldn't have to split your worker at all, so renaming them should not be a concern at all unless you're going to be careless. Splitting is only done for life-threatening emergencies that their Gestalt cannot escape. And if I recall correctly, humans can in fact change their names legally, it's just a bit of a pain both in real life and mechanically.


Character Name: speak into the fire.
Please provide a short backstory for this character, approximately 2 paragraphs this takes place after him wanting to chip a Dionaea to transfer his mind. and failing over and over. Dionaea was found as a vermin pest by josh foster as a single nymph, mistaken as a cockroach. he tried to burn it with a welder, but set something on fire. the nymph took interest in the fire, and named itself so. josh foster knew what it was now. he remembered the legend that if you protect a nymph with your life, they absorb and transform the martyr.
josh foster then attempted to follow this myth, whilst more nymphs soon followed. now the nymphs combined into a worker, the worker thanked josh foster, and the worker left. the worker came up with the name speak into the fire as its new worker name. speak into the fire, when josh foster's shift is done, takes over as roboticist as some of the other nymphs seemed to perk interest in robotics.
This background is very rocky, and it's hard to understand. From what I've gathered, someone was trying to kill what they thought was a pest, the pest taking a moment to stop and admire the fire that was being used to kill it in a life-or-death situation, and somehow became friends through that after the human got an epiphany to as of what the Nymph was. He befriended more and more as he worked on trying to immortalize himself but then when the Gestalt was formed the Dionae left the man with a wave of it's tendrils, creating it's name afterwards. Now it indirectly remains near the man by picking up shifts where he left off.

So, this background isn't entirely favorable and it leaves a lot of questions. Why did the nymph pause to admire something that was trying to kill it when it was in immediate danger? How did the human know what the nymph was, and why did the man want to become a martyr? "Chipping" a nymph does not allow memory transfer, so you'll have to re-read the lore on that. Why did the Gestalt leave the man? Why is it still remaining near the man if it left it?

Besides all of these questions, there is one major thing that is being overlooked here: The story seems to be told from the human's side which can be okay, but the major focus seems to be on the human and not the species you are applying for. That is a pretty big problem, because as you can see, you're trying to apply for a Dionae and not a human.

What do you like about this character? honestly I think ill like trying to come up with a new name every time I have to emergency split. the backstory seems decent enough for me, and I'm satisfied with my application now.

How would you rate your role-playing ability? experienced.
Notes: I worked REALLY hard to get this application done. tell me if I have to add anything.
And here we are, at the end. Both what you like about the character and your ability to roleplay should come in the answer of a paragraph, and what you've written about the character is redundant about the species' mechanic. You should more focus on what you like about the character. Why do you like them? Do they have any quirks or shortfallings? Do they have the same interests as you, or do you admire them for being something you're not? Things like that. And on rating your role-playing, please state both the how and why. What makes you experienced? For how long have you been roleplaying?


Overall, I am not ready to accept this application, and here's why: commitment. You don't have a single character that you have committed yourself to previously. The purpose of having an established character is so others can judge your abilities to roleplay and how well you can maintain that character so when the time comes, we can see how well you can be trusted with another species that the player needs to commit to so that species standards are maintained. We can't risk anyone breaking character or lore, or the immersion and therefore experience will be ruined. I'm not saying that I do not trust you, but what I am saying is that I cannot tell if you can or not because no one has previous experiences with you.

On top of that, you seem to be missing the main purpose of these applications: they are mostly here to test how well you know the lore, not specifically the mechanics. So, splurge on the details and your knowledge on the lore, but don't do it word for word. Try to explore ideas, and even speculate on some things! Don't be afraid to write more than one paragraph- I actually encourage more!

So I do see promise here, however it needs a little work. You do have interest, but you need to review the points that everyone has made on your application as they are all valid and I agree with them, and make sure to keep my reply in mind. The biggest help that you will find is investigative work, looking through the Whitelist Archives and sifting through the Dionae applications, comparing both accepted and denied applications to see what passed and what failed my expectations.

The biggest thing that I want you to do however is to create a persistent character, and play them for a month so players can get to know both you and your abilities to roleplay better- not to mention to get to know your character if they enjoy them. After that time period is up, feel free to re-apply and we can restart your application process. Second time applications usually get passed! If you wish to further discuss this with me, you can choose to PM me on this site or contact me over Discord with the information posted in my signature, and feel free to join my Dionae server for further help understanding Dionae and their lore- we're always ready to help teach!


Application Declined.
~ N E I N B O X ~
"I am the Lorax, and I speak for the Trees."
I am the Dionae loredev. Feel free to contact me with any suggestions, comments, questions or concerns!

Discord Contact: Neinbox#1317
Dionae Discussion Discord: https://discord.gg/euB9AmX
An Aurora-related Discord server for game and lore-related discussion about Dionae. Feel free to join- Xenos welcome!

Characters
Spoiler:
|Ashley Long (Human Xenobotanist)|Uwasv Sidanelv (Unathi Engineer)|Rassvet Zver' (Tajaran Officer)|Sumerek Zver' (Tajaran Officer)|Protector of Tallest Tree (Diona Chaplain)|Oquoqua'Dali Walosh-Gadoki (Skrell Xenobotanist)|Ka'Akaix'Xiz K'Lax (Vaurca Miner)|R.I.P. (IPC Surgeon/Roboticist)|Titikakayi (Vox Merchant)|Moroz Zver' (Tajaran ERT)|

Character Information (Outdated)
Art
Spoiler:
Locked

Return to “Whitelist Applications Archives”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest