The Way of the Glorf

[Absynth]

Follow ye these hallowed rules and you, too, can follow the Way of the Glorf.

1. Honk!, Yap!, Pong! or Ping!, we are all united. Glorf has but three eyes, and they see only love.

2. Glorf and His children are sacred, all but the blinky toy, which belongs only in the garbage. Punish all thefts, even the most minor, with insane violence. Theft of a Yap! or a Living Glorf, for instance, should prompt suicidal rage.

3. The tacticalneck is the proper attire at all times of day or night.

4. The most holy sustenance of Glorf are ye Heated Ramen, Space Cola, Iced Beer, and Coffee. On these four groups one can live forever.

5. Recognize a fellow of Glorf by the mantra (Glorf!). The correct answer to a greeting of 'Glorf!' is of course 'Glorf!'.

6. One to a Machine. No hogging.

7. It's considered the height of rudeness to interrupt or look over the shoulder of a Glorf Initiate during their daily rituals at The Machine.

8. Never stop resisting, never stop fighting, for Glorf hates quitters.

9. Hug, poke, or strangle, never strike the Glorf, for you only strike yourself.

10. The Idols and Avatars (especially the Full 11 and the Limited Editions) are more holy than trinkets, which can go in the garbage, except the Raiment of the Tacticool.

11. It is considered a sacred duty to bestow a Limited Edition upon that person currently present who holds the position. Bartender to bartender, wizard to wizard. Amen.

Edited September 27, 2016 by Guest

[Guest Complete Garbage]

Next time as a traitor, I am 100% getting the hacked upload board.

This needs to become its own core AI module, just replace Glorf with the name of the AI.

[Guest]

Why are you discussing breaking the law, on a NanoTrasen station, on a NanoTrasen Public Network.... I'm reporting this to Central....

- Some Random Employee

[Guest Complete Garbage]

Next time as a traitor Captain, I am 100% getting the hacked freeform upload board after extensive paperwork is filed to ensure legality.

This needs to become its own core AI module, just replace Glorf with the name of the AI.