Zortecino Posted November 4, 2016 Share Posted November 4, 2016 --Beginning of Application-- BYOND Key: Zortecino Character Names: Current Character: Jakol Toskeim-Hood (Displayed as Jakol Hood) Applying for Unathi Character: Zoroko Fon Species you are applying to play: Unathi What color do you plan on making your first alien character (Dionaea & IPCs exempt): Red Have you read our lore section's page on this species?: Yes Please provide well articulated answers to the following questions in a paragraph format. One paragraph minimum per question Why do you wish to play this specific race: I have created this character before on multiple servers. He is a security officer intent on wiping the dirty and corrupted officers off of the task force by taking the reins and being an example of honor (Aside from traitor rounds, but he still honors the dead even then). He loves his Tequila and knows the many uses of Thalers adequately. He also knows some technical skills. Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human: Zoroko expresses things as a Unathi would, firstly. Also, he tries to be honorable and have integrity, seeing pride as a path that leads out of an honorable way of life. As a Unathi, he is different in speech and gesture, and has a different cultural background, meaning that many a Unathi joke falls unheard and misunderstood, to his dismay. He also understands human culture, though, and has tried to blend the two ideas together a bit to make it easier on the humans, slowly easing his traditions onto the station's shoulders, and minimizing the confusion. Character Name: Zoroko Fon Please provide a short backstory for this character, approximately 2 paragraphs Zoroko Fon started his journey on Ouere. He was raised in the Shinigash Bloodline as the second son of Zoroko He'Sska. He practiced at hunting very often, and he still exercises on the station. "I bet I can beat you in tail wrestling!" Fon said to his older brother Ss'koros, a strangely blue colored Unathi, quite rare, but not reducing any of his rights in the family. "You wish," He replied. Zoroko was stubborn. "I bet I can." he retorted. Whoever could pin one's tail using his own would win in these matches, and Fon always came very close, but never quite managed to pin his brother's dark blue tail to the ground. "Three, two, one, go!" his brother hissed. And so, the wrestle began. With both ends of their tails held against each other, each struggled to overpower the other. Ss'koros always tried to exhaust Fon before he could beat him with sheer strength, and it seemed no different now. The grassy earth was quite easy to dig their claws into, and both used it to their advantage. Ss'koros pressed his tail hard against Fon's but slowly got pushed almost to losing, and Fon tried his hardest to force it down, but Ss'koros held just long enough to pull the force out of him. As Fon's tail plummeted over, he grinned, and turned the tables using the vigor that he had faked losing. For the first time, he managed to flip Ss'koros's tail to the ground. Zoroko grinned at his brother, and triumphantly hissed, "I win." He was a bold, proud 'Sinta by the time he was sixteen human years old. He was raised with a good mentality, but also a bit of a temper, but luckily, he had amazing skill in self-control, and caused no problems when he temporarily moved out of his home at 18, to learn the skills and knowledge the humans had to offer on the far-away city, hoping to find a life in the stars. He waved goodbye, taking his sandals and a simple garment. He applied to a combat school, hence the tattoo of a scythe on his neck (Gotta love them flavor texts). He was trained in the new-fangled, high-tech weapons used by different militaries, multiple battle strategies and maneuvers and a small amount of information on how to weld and open doors in an emergency, and on building barricades to keep out hostiles. After finding he enjoyed electronics and circuitry, he found himself adept at the study, and with a few old textbooks, he learned his skills in a Nanotrasen rented room, thinking of the trade as a subtle but effective way of showing the kindness that his workspace deserved. Afterwards, he found out that a shuttle was coming over to offer a new job at a well-paying station, and he decided to apply, promising to send leather-wrapped messages and presents via Galactic Mail. He said a goodbye to his clan members and friends, and enjoyed one last Passua Steak before 210 degrees of the day. "I'm gonna miss you." He said to Ss'koros. "But hey, I'll come visit, okay? And if they let me, I might get to bring home some exotic foods…". He smiled at his brother before disappearing into the shuttle. He had a couple mementos: a claw sharpening kit with his name engraved on the side, and a cap that he grew quite fond of from a human security post. He has kept those for quite a long time, and inside the pocket of the human coat, there were a couple scrawled notes, telling him to remember about the messages and to come visit every couple months or so. He still visits to this day, but unfortunately, he always misinterprets the functions of the cooking machinery before he can cook some good grub up on the station (often creating a culinary abomination in the process. “I think this knob adds heat… Oh… it’s a flame knob… It’ll taste fine… Fresh burnt meat! Come and get it!” -- I wish I had an open flame…). What do you like about this character? He's quite robust, but he cares about people's safety. He has a constant watch, even when he's relaxing in the bar. Also, his chefly efforts are hilarious. How would you rate your role-playing ability? 8/10 - Experienced, with some things still to learn from the true RP gods around the internet... Notes: Thanks for taking the time to read this, if you have any issues, please feel free to voice them. --End of Application-- Link to comment
Guest Marlon Phoenix Posted November 21, 2016 Share Posted November 21, 2016 Hello, thank you for your interest in the Unathi species and the Aurora server. I'm sorry for the long delay - in the future, if your application goes over 4 days without comment, please PM me! Unfortunately I see many glaring issues with this application. Your Unathi is not tied into our own lore for the race that I can see. I see no mention of the Contact War or what happened to his clan from it, which would be a major factor in how their clan functions today, and for many Unathi the aftermath of the war is the primary reason they work in human space. Zoroko Fon just sort of leaves Moghes to work in human space as if it's the same as moving across town to work at the new supermarket that just opened up. I also don't know if it's intentional but the interactions between Fon and his brother scream incest. Unathi are very big on personal space. Grabbing a Unathi's tail is like grabbing its ass so with that context there are just major gross vibes from their interactions. That should either be removed as a thing between them, or roll with it and have your character named Zoroko Guwan instead. You also play right with Unathi stereotypes that they're backwards. Unathi are not spear chucking savages that live in mud huts; they developed a modern civilization long before human contact. You don't need to bound mail in leather, just get a cardboard box. Not knowing how to use basic kitchen appliances just makes him seem infantile. Of course he can be like this if he were from part of Moghes that rejected modernity and retained the ancient lifestyles, but in that case, why is he working here? Again, there's no why to anything he does. These points, and your response to 'identify how Unathi are different' leads me to believe that you've not read our wiki page for Unathi. This application is, in general, incredibly vague in its responses and the character presented does not meet my standards for a whitelist, so I'm going to have to reject it. I encourage you to reapply when you feel ready. Link to comment
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