Immortal_Starfish

T'WAS YOU WHO AWAKENED ME FROM MY SLUMBER.

FOOL. IT IS INDEED I, THE SHOGUN OF FUNPOSTS, THE DELIVERER OF VICIOUS, VERBOSE DIARRHEA. HE WHO HAD BEEN WRONGLY DENIED HIS HEAD OF STAFF APPLICATION LIKE, THREE TIMES IN A ROW BECAUSE DEA TACITA DIDN'T LIKE ME BECAUSE I YELLED AT HER ONCE IN THAT LORE ARGUMENT ABOUT IPCS NOT BEING ALLOWED TO BE HEADS. WHICH I AM STILL MAD ABOUT. I DIDN'T EVEN WANT THE WHITELIST PROPERLY, TO BE HONEST I WAS REALLY JUST DOING IT BECAUSE PEOPLE TOLD ME NOT TO DO THAT. DEA YOU'RE NOT EVEN DYING OF SUPER-CANCER. YOU AWFUL PERSON. I KNOW ALL ABOUT YOUR AWFUL SECRET.

DO YOU WAKE IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT, BOWELS CHURNING AND KNUCKLES WHITE WITH HORROR AS NIGHTMARES, REMINDERS OF THE BROWN AGE CLING TO THE EDGES OF YOUR WARY MINDS? ALSO IS USING SPACE LUBE TO FIGHT OFF SECURITY OFFICERS ALLOWED?

HELLO, FRIENDS. I HAVE RECENTLY BECOME AWARE OF THE FACT THAT I HAVE NOT INFORMED ALL OF YOU ABOUT ALL OF MY OPINIONS ON HOW THE GAME SHOULD BE PLAYED FOR ROUGHLY A YEAR. TODAY I WILL REMIND YOU.

IT IS MY BELIEF THAT IPCS SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO BE HEADS OF STAFF.

LONG AGO IN A DISTANT LAND, I INVERTED_RECTUM, THE SHITPOSTING MASTER OF DARKNESS UNLEASHED AN UNSPEAKABLE EVIL! BUT A FOOLISH SSL WARRIOR STEPPED FORTH TO OPPOSE ME. BEFORE THE FINAL BLOW WAS STRUCK, I TORE OPEN A PORTAL IN TIME AND FLUNG HIM INTO REDDIT, WHERE MY EVIL IS LAW!