PowerThrills

He said he had nothing to add, but he sure kept typing. Yeah, it's resolved on my end. I promise in good faith that I'll try my hardest not to let this happen again.

Well, hearing that someone else has been in this situation actually makes me feel a little better. Is the little horse something that was applied to me or is that just an admin thing? Anyway, I have nothing else. I'll definitely hear Matt out if he has something to say though.

It was a heat of the moment issue because combat broke out and suddenly my nervous system was stimulated and that led to me attacking the wrong person. As for the time scale, I don't know what to say. This is what happened from my perspective. There was no need to make me feel worse by threatening me with more punishment. He didn't need to make me understand that it shouldn't be repeated; I was clearly mortified. He was right to contact me and figure out what the hell happened, but a warning? I'm not sure how many warnings equal a ban, but it can't be that many. (I realize he made it a verbal warning, but initially he said "apply a warning" which meant to me that since I fucked up accidentally that there is now some sort of document attached to me detailing what a douchebag I am.) And I still would have let the whole thing go if he had actually apologized without that nullifying contingency. I'm not at all convinced this was a valid warning, but I know I don't get to weigh in on that. Obviously I'm going to try not to hit my friends so, practically speaking, I've learned nothing and this whole thing was pointless. How do I get better at clicking people in combat? By practice one would think, but combat rarely comes up. Am I going to have to stress out about mounting warnings every time I fuck up on the way to being competent, culminating in a ban if I don't improve fast enough? That's the Kafkaesque element to this whole episode that I found so distressing in the first place. I'm not good at this game and I got a warning for not being good enough at the game in a first-time situation that is requisite to becoming good at this game. Can't you see you circularity inherent in this warning?

BYOND Key: powerthrills (character: Jill Edison) Staff BYOND Key: MattAtlas Game ID: bR3-ckoQ Reason for complaint: I was playing a round as Engineer and setting up the shields when my character was approached by a wizard making vague promises of power. It sounded interesting so I took him up on it and got turned into a Juggernaut. Afterwards there was a big stand off in the aft hallway with security, and we ended up going to engineering because the wizard wanted to flood the station atmospherics with Nitrogen. A fight broke out and I ended up misclicking the wizard and killing him, which got me boinked by Matt. I didn't even realize that I killed the wizard until Matt told me, and I was devastated because I thought I completely ruined the round. (Apparently the wizard can respawn but I didn't know that at the time.) I explained that it was an accident and he told me he was giving me a warning and threatened me with escalating punishments if I did it again. It was like twisting a knife; I didn't want it to happen in the first place let alone do it again. My hands were shaking, my heart was beating like a drum, everyone was almost the same color and moving around fast, and I have scars on my eyes that make portions of my vision blurry. He de-escalated it to a verbal warning mid conversation, which was nice...I guess. But then he tried some doublethink bullshit by saying his punishment threats weren't actually threats. When I confronted him in deadchat he moderated his tone somewhat and even gave a non-apology (MattAtlas (Lelyl Kerei'Velan) moans, "and I understand that, if I was too hard on you, I apologize"). I'm not seeking anything here. I don't want Matt stripped of his power, banned, reprimanded, or anything else. I do not have a vendetta. Beyond this thread, it's over for me. But I think that MattAtlas is a bully. The reason I'm making this complaint is so that if this is/becomes a pattern of behavior then I want it recognized as quickly as possible. Technically, I'm not new to SS13. I've picked it up a couple times over the past few years and every time I stopped playing pretty quickly and would have to relearn it like a newbie each time I came back. This is the first time I've tried playing on an rp server and it's also the first time that putting all this effort into this silly game started to feel worth it. The community has been great, especially the engineering staff who taught me the job, and every other time I've been poked by admins I could clearly see what I had done wrong and they were super cool. This time, with Matt, it was just upsetting and made me feel like complete scum. Evidence/logs/etc: Additional remarks: Thank you for reading.