[Denied] KARPET's Alien race app(Dionaea)

[KARPET]

BYOND Key: KARPET

Character Names: Rube Allen, Davis Logue, Mark Willey

Species you are applying to play: Dionaea

What color do you plan on making your first alien character (Dionaea & IPCs exempt): N/A

Have you read our lore section's page on this species?: Yes

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Please provide well articulated answers to the following questions in a paragraph format. One paragraph minimum per question

Why do you wish to play this specific race:I wish to play this species as i love how Dionaea have their own way of life, their unique language composed of a combination of rattling, rustling and various vocalizations, the fact that one gaesalt, while considered an individual, is actually a group of Dionae, creating legal problems, as a Diona is considered an animal

Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human:This species is different than role-playng a human as their biology, nature and way of life are very different. For example, a Dionaea thrives in radiation where any normal human would perish, Dionaea are assembled of a group of Diona nymphs.Those groups are called Gaesalts. In the lore, the Dionaea have many, many forms, Those include, but are not limited to: nymphs, workers, colossi, shells, satellites, and a theoretical form,not yet discovered, the singularities

 

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Character Name:One in a Galaxy of Many

Please provide a short backstory for this character, approximately 2 paragraphs

Grown on-board the station of Aurora under the name of One and raised by Brian Richard. One in a Galaxy of Many is a caring Gaesalt worker, never once backing down from helping others. This led to him to eventually becoming a caring individual which most visitors of Aurora station would deem trustworthy. Should the need arise, he can split himself up in different nymphs and search for a wounded individual trough the ventilation ducts. Although, when doing that, the Nymphs tend to follow him, and not look for the wounded. His nature has also led him to become a Medical Doctor. And hating all that would forfeit the lives of those he laid his "eyes" on is a thing he does. He is always sad when he sees a person who is in great pain, and would like to treat it as soon as possible. He also never questioned his motives, as they, i quote, "Arre for the what... is considerred beetter for the pacieent". Or, that may be a facade he buried his thoughts in, delving into his sorrows in a sad effort to retain his sanity, proving effective....... for now.

What do you like about this character? The thing i like most about this character is that its caring for other species. Never letting an injured person slip his view without trying to help them in any way he can being one of his weak points, as people may use that against him. He will not harm any living being, including robots with personalities, unless he is threatened by them, verbally or physically. When he inevitably does get threatened, he will often attempt to settle things peacefully or escaping. If neither are available, he will resort to violence, however trying to weaken the opponent, not hurt him in a way his opponent's life would be forfeit. However, if he is hurt beyond a limit, his natural instincts kick in, putting survival of the collective over his code, usually resulting in the opponent to have serious injuries, in some cases even lethal. Given enough time to calm down, One in a Galaxy of Many would, usually, search for the organism that threatened him, and apologize properly.

How would you rate your role-playing ability?If my role-playing ability is measured on a scale on one to 10, i would choose 7

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Notes:Grown and raised by the Brian Richard. Usually found as a part of the medical wing

Edited June 27, 2018 by Guest

[Sebbe]

Please re-read what the template asks for when it comes to text amount and edit your post please.

[Elohi Adanvdo]

Hello, Neinbox here! Grab a chair because unfortunately, I'm going to have to break this one down. But please do not become discouraged, I'd like for you to read it through and learn so you can improve- because there is a lot there can be done here,

 

Have you read our lore section's page on this species?: Yes

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Please provide well articulated answers to the following questions in a paragraph format. One paragraph minimum per question

Well, here's the first thing. As I've been telling you before, a paragraph is a minimum of five to seven sentances from what I've been taught. Everything beyond this point must be a paragraph long in the least. Secondly, this application is not really giving me the "I read the lore and will now dazzle you with my superoir knowledge of tree people" feel. I'll explain that in a moment here.

 

Why do you wish to play this specific race:I wish to play this species as the way Dionaea work is interesting on many levels, including its Gameplay, its lore, and its image as a species

Can you please expand on this? What do you like about their gameplay? Their lore? What image do you think they represent?

 

Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human:This species is different than role-playng a human as its lore is very unique,along with the looks and mechanics that come with this species, and the fact that the name of the species is inspired by the latin name of a flytrap, along with its interesting "Devour" mechanic

How is their lore unique from a human's? The mechanics? I'd like for you to elaborate on this. We already know that they're different, but how? This is the part where you show me you actually know about their lore. Essentially, in your own words, describe to me what you've learned.

 

Character Name:One in a Galaxy of Many

Please provide a short backstory for this character, approximately 2 paragraphs

Grown on-board the station of Aurora under the name of One and raised by Brian Richard, One in a Galaxy of Many wasRaised with the assigment of a priest, Helping anyone in need of spiritual healing.Should need arise, his experience with medicine, obtained by taking a blood sample of a medical doctor,is able to treat most superficial injuries and perform CPR, however, more serious injuries still require the pacient to be transported to the Medical Bay

This time, it is asking you for two paragraphs about your Dionae. Your writing could also use a little touching up, but it's not too bad. Hopefully like me, RP will help! Now, this nymph will obviously have a shorter story than most, as their lives are newer. A good way to expand this section is by telling us who your Gestalt is. What is their personality like? Do they have any goals in mind to pursue? Likes? Dislikes? Go nuts! Remember, two paragraphs is a minimum. You have unlimited posting powers!

 

What do you like about this character? The thing i like most about this character is that its caring for other species, and would harm them only if it was threatened

How does it care for other species? What is it's reason to do so? What situations does it feel as threatening? Does it have any quirks?

 

How would you rate your role-playing ability?If my roleplayng ability is measured on a scale on one to 10, i would choose 8

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Notes:Son to Brian Richard, Owned by NanoTransen

It would be benificial for you to advertise this application by copying it's link and posting it in-game in OOC once per round (with a small summary like "Hey guys please rate my whitelist app lol") to back your claims at being a good roleplayer. It will most definately present you in a good light! As for the notes, are you implying that the Dionae identifies as a male? And how does Nanotrasen own a sentient being with nigh-equal rights?

Again, please do not be discouraged! You can update your application in repsonse to my questions by editing your original post and quoting me on others if you wish, either way is okay- although updating your original post is a must. And make sure to review the applications in the Whitelist Archives to get a better idea of what else I might be looking for in applications! Hope to see a response from you soon.

[Elohi Adanvdo]

I have allowed this to sit in hopes of seeing it amended, but so far this application has stagnated. I will allow one more day to pass for any more edits and corrections, but so far things aren't looking good.

As a reminder, a paragraph is five to seven sentences, and the background story requires two paragraphs total. I would also like more clarification to some answers as I have posted before. Please look over previous postings as well as your application to see what needs to be done, and I encourage you once more to turn to the archives for ideas on what I am looking for. Hope to hear from you soon.

[Elohi Adanvdo]

An edit was recently done to the application, and I have once more woken from my slumber to read through.

 

Why do you wish to play this specific race:I wish to play this species as i love how Dionaea have their own way of life, their unique language composed of a combination of rattling, rustling and various vocalizations, the fact that one gaesalt, while considered an individual, is actually a group of Dionae, creating legal problems, as a Diona is considered an animal

This is still only one sentence when it should be five to seven to make a paragraph. Try to expand on your love for trees. Let out your inner hippie!

 

Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human:This species is different than role-playng a human as their biology, nature and way of life are very different. For example, a Dionaea thrives in radiation where any normal human would perish, Dionaea are assembled of a group of Diona nymphs.Those groups are called Gaesalts. In the lore, the Dionaea have many, many forms, Those include, but are not limited to: nymphs, workers, colossi, shells, satellites, and a theoretical form,not yet discovered, the singularities

Better, but still one under the minimum of five sentences. You have so far pointed out only two interesting aspects of Dionae, and focused on one. You should try to expand a bit more into that. Is there anything else about them that makes them different from other species?

 

Character Name:One in a Galaxy of Many

Please provide a short backstory for this character, approximately 2 paragraphs

Grown on-board the station of Aurora under the name of One and raised by Brian Richard. One in a Galaxy of Many is a caring Gaesalt worker, never once backing down from helping others. This led to him to eventually becoming a caring individual which most visitors of Aurora station would deem trustworthy. Should the need arise, he can split himself up in different nymphs and search for a wounded individual trough the ventilation ducts. Although, when doing that, the Nymphs tend to follow him, and not look for the wounded. His nature has also led him to become a Medical Doctor. And hating all that would forfeit the lives of those he laid his "eyes" on is a thing he does. He is always sad when he sees a person who is in great pain, and would like to treat it as soon as possible. He also never questioned his motives, as they, i quote, "Arre for the what... is considerred beetter for the pacieent". Or, that may be a facade he buried his thoughts in, delving into his sorrows in a sad effort to retain his sanity, proving effective....... for now.

Not gonna lie. This had... gotten a bit weird. You did reach a paragraph in length, but you need two to be able to proceed as is stated by the format: "Please provide a short backstory for this character, approximately 2 paragraphs". But that's not what makes it weird. I realize I have yet to expand on this in lore, but Dionae are a collection of individuals whose names reflect what they have learned in life. Each merging and separation would rename the collection as individuals or a Gestalt, meaning that One in a Galaxy of Many would not remain One in a Galaxy of Many. Admins would have to be bothered each time you board to change your name. Not to mention the fact that merging and seperating takes up a lot of energy, and is only used in emergency situations for themselves. I'll let it slide for now because it's more or less my fault, but I would change that if I were you for the future.

Now, for the weird part. Why is One in a Galaxy of Many so sad? What possible reason would they have to be to be so depressive? Dionae function like animals when individuals, and more like synthetics as Gestalts. Basically, they follow nature and logic for responses; pain is a part of life, and doesn't have to be pitied so. They can know that they can help and heal the patient, fixing them right up. There's no reason to cry over spilt milk, as it were.

However as previously mentioned, when merged Dionae are given an "emotional filter": with the minds of multiple individuals joined and each action thought out in a consensus, emotion is set aside in favor of logic. Whereas individual Nymphs act as animals, a Gestalt behaves similarly to synthetics and unfortunately gives them a rather eerie presentation. However, the longer a Gestalt has been merged, the more likely the individuals are able to sympathize with one another and show logical emotional responses instead of raw displays.

 

 

What do you like about this character? The thing i like most about this character is that its caring for other species. Never letting an injured person slip his view without trying to help them in any way he can being one of his weak points, as people may use that against him. He will not harm any living being, including robots with personalities, unless he is threatened by them, verbally or physically. When he inevitably does get threatened, he will often attempt to settle things peacefully or escaping. If neither are available, he will resort to violence, however trying to weaken the opponent, not hurt him in a way his opponent's life would be forfeit. However, if he is hurt beyond a limit, his natural instincts kick in, putting survival of the collective over his code, usually resulting in the opponent to have serious injuries, in some cases even lethal. Given enough time to calm down, One in a Galaxy of Many would, usually, search for the organism that threatened him, and apologize properly.

You said in here that people would exploit their need to help people. How so? Whatever could people want to exploit them for that for? You're focusing a bit too much on what they would do in a violent situation here, with some conflicting information: "He will not harm any living being, including robots with personalities, unless he is threatened by them, verbally or physically. When he inevitably does get threatened, he will often attempt to settle things peacefully or escaping." The first says they will react to harm their offender no matter what, the second stating that they are passive. From what I have read, you can simply narrow it down to, "they dislike violence, but will defend themselves if need be and is generally apologetic after". But again, that would mean that the Dionae is acting a bit outside norms- logic says that if they threatened your life and they went out of your way to attack you, it's their fault, so there isn't really a need to apologize. It's natural.

Another thing that I see is that you call them "he". Dionae are asexual, meaning they are neither male, female, nor anything in between. You should try to pry yourself away from thinking them as gendered and instead rely on gender-neutral pronouns like "they/them/it".

 

Notes:Grown and raised by the Brian Richard. Usually found as a part of the medical wing

Where else would they be found?

I have let this sit for a longer time than most out of patience to allow you a chance to work on this as you have been away due to things that have happened of screen for you, but please note that the following reply that you make in response to this post will be finalized, and I will make my decision then. If you want to figure it out more over Discord and ask questions, feel free to chat with me there.

[Sebbe]

[mention]Elohi Adanvdo[/mention]

[Elohi Adanvdo]

Thank you, [mention]Sebbe[/mention]. Been a bit preoccupied this week.

 

Now then, [mention]KARPET[/mention].It is judgement day, albeit somewhat delayed.

 

Unfortunately, this application is not what I am looking for in a whitelistee. The format was not followed, and I have attempted to give additional time to allow you to respond to my posts- but it has eventually led to a stalemate. Due to the reasons stated above, I will have to deny this application. If you wish to re-apply in the future, please wait a full month before attempting. I once more encourage you to take a look at the application archives to review old applications and compare them with yours to find what I'm looking for in an applicant. Again, you are free to contact me at any time for whatever reason regarding Dionae. Hope to see another application in the future!

 

Application Denied.

Edited December 16, 2018 by Neinbox
Fixed a typo lol