Introspection - Suvek Tokash

[Evandorf]

Clarifying Edit- This is just a very short look into Tokash's personal life. I don't do much writing so I wanted to test the waters. Feel free to let me know if you have and critiques, criticisms or advice. Either lore-wise or just writing in general. Thanks!

--------

I was stunned. Shocked. I shouldn't be. I had seen this coming for some time but I was still shaken.

Slowly, I keyed my headset."I will be in my offissse for a moment. I have busssinesss to sssee to."

For a brief moment the desire to turn the radio off entirely flickered in my mind. I could always be reached on my PDA but I also knew that it was better and faster to simply use the radio. This second thought followed the first and quickly grew into a compulsion so great that I simply went to my desk and pressed one of the switches on the underside. The timing was atrocious; this would be much easier to deal with off-duty when the implant was disabled. There was a mild hum as the electrochromatic windows went opaque and the office noticeably dimmed.

"Sands... blasted, burning, fucking sands..." I tossed the tablet onto my desk and moved across to the opposite wall. Under the long table of mostly folders, faxes, and papers was a low closet. I took a small glass bottle and oiled rag from inside and then, looking up, I paused. The ancient spear rested in its mount. It had long been an anchor; a reminder of strength; of lineage. Now it seemed diminished. Dull. Dead. I shook the doubt from my thoughts and carefully took the spear from its mount. Isolated from the eyes of the officers I dropped to the middle of the floor, crossed my legs and began my task.

"Loyalty... righteousness... courage... mercy... integrity..." I repeated this mantra as I worked. The leather grips and bindings were thirsty and I cursed myself for not adhering to their maintenance last week. The spear, given to me by my Grandfather, was one of my few belongings that were purely Sinta. It shone like a beacon to my ancestors and they came. They guided me and witnessed me. They gave me strength in my battles, gave me wisdom in my confusion, and gave me comfort and succor in my times of need. Now that he was dead my Grandfather, Tovek Tokash XVII, would be numbered among them. I will not dishonor him.

The message on the tablet returned to mind as I worked. This other issue, my brother and this crusade to the pole was troubling but it would wait for a while yet.