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Lab Partner/Assistant Wanted

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Scrolling through the web, you come across a series of ads. One of them features a beaker producing a cloud of smoke with the subject: "Lab Partner Wanted". Curious, you click on it and it takes you to a page on the NanoTrasen public boards.

Greetings, viewer.

I am an experienced chemist and biochemist researcher on a humanitarian message around the galaxy. I can be found on multiple stations, research and civilian. Currently, I am more heavily focused on the "NSS Aurora".

Anyone employed on the station looking for work (Anyone, really, so long as you meet the qualifications, regardless of occupation) can find service by assisting me in the lab.

About me: My name is Hazeri Saakhat (Many wish to call me "Haz", and I do not oppose). I am an elderly Unathi originating from Moghes. Since the age of about 20, I have been teaching myself chemistry. Along the way, I learned other things, and earned the title of "Shaman" for my clan. I have roughly two decades of experience working on research stations and meeting wonderful people of all species and stories.

What do I need: I need someone to help me as a lab assistant. In my old age, I often forget things that would normally be hard-wired into my brain. My lab can sometimes be a mess of bottles and pills, waiting for some unfortunate janitor to clean up. It is requested that my lab assistant help by:


  • Organizing my concoctions, creations, and research notes for me.

  • Notify me whenever I am needed or requested, akin to a secretary (My hearing is rather poor these days)

  • Help me up when one of my experiments inevitably knocks me off my feet.

  • Laugh at my jokes and pretend that I'm funny.

  • Pitch ideas for projects

  • Remind me what I'm doing when I enter a room and then forget what I wanted

  • Pull pranks on people from time to time Pranks are not productive!


Experience with science and/or chemistry is preferred, but not necessarily required. An open mind is definitely non-negotiable however. I have a pretty concentrated work block, so I can be found working during most hours.

As far as payment is concerned, I offer:


  • Intricate knowledge of chemistry, and the willingness to teach someone all that I know

  • I will either buy or brew you tea

  • Complimentary cigarettes, if you are a smoker

  • A mutual system where keep each other company in this lonely, wide void of depressing nothingness we call 'space'

  • My oh-so-spiritual wisdom to bestow upon thee


I don't have much in the way of money. But if what I listed above is not enough, we can discuss payment for the above services.

There may be multiple assistants, depending on how many people take interest in this and who they are. Below is my PDA number. Contact me and we will arrange a sit-down where we will drink tea and talk about our partnership.

Thank you.

Shaman of Clan Saakhet, "Haz"

Edited by Guest
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A reply appears in your inbox.

To: Hazeri Saakhat

From: Alice Bell.

Subject: Lab Partner/Assistant Wanted.

//This message was made with Voice to Text.//

Greetings Haz my name is Alice Bell. I'm a recently employed worker with Nanotrasen, In the citizen department for a verity of job's. I would like to apply for a position as your Assistant for a chance to learn new skills and meet some co-workers so to have, as you put it "A mutual system where keep each other company in this lonely, wide void of depressing nothingness we call 'space'."

I look forward to hearing form you.

Also on a note,when I said learn new skills I don't mean as in teach me how to do chemistry hahah ah. . . . because that'd be silly. Because you know. . .yer.

Yer no I'll edit that out before I Send--

//"Send"---Send message?//


//Sending message//

Wait NO!

//Message sent.//


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"Lap Partner Wanted"

Luna blinked.

H-Huh?! I assume they mean Lab Partner... I hope so, at least, I don't want to do that ever again...

Reading on, she grew excited. This was her chance to break into the Science department as an assistant to the greats; she could finally learn about their fancy machines and watch the tests in Toxins from the sidelines... The girl's fingers flew over the keyboard impulsively.


To: Hazeri Saakhat

From: Luna Fountain

Subject: Lab Partner/Assistant Wanted.

Dear Mr. Saakhat,

My name is Luna Fountain. I am writing to respond to your advertisement requesting a Lab Assistant. I am afraid I have no experience with Research and Development, nor Chemistry, but learning about this sort of thing would be the only payment I require, sir. If it helps my case, I work part-time as a Nurse aboard the NSS Aurora and therefore am very suited towards the care aspects of the position. Furthermore, I am currently enrolled in an apprenticeship with the Engineering department - I have included the contact details of Nasir Ha'kim and Roy Wyatt should you like a reference - and have been described as dedicated and a quick learner. Also... I love tea. My favourite is Duke Purple! What's yours? I would love to try any original brews you have concocted.

Thank you very much. I hope to hear from you soon!


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Tap. Tap. Tap.






Record a message?


Beep. Beep.


The fuzzy image of a Diona appears. The picture clears and you can see them staring directly at the camera with mechanical eyes. They eyes drift in opposite directions as they speak,


Yellow there, Sha-man. Weir Crop Circles Drawn in Dust. We go twerk on the NSS Aurora. We aura lab assist-ant there. No one as taken ass under them yet. We half nut given up ope in finding a men-tore on Aurora wall we continue are schooling. Weir studying xe-no-bi-ology and math in opes tern a double major real soon. NSS Aurora is a part-time job phorus tern skill wall, at the same time, taken online schooling. Weir not fast. Weir pretty slow, really. But we try. Okay. We also donut talk this much normly. But we try. Weir sorry a-butt are speech. Weir taking class fir that, too. Promise. Thank you, Sha-man fir... for your... time.





Message sent.

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A short buzz signifies a message arriving

To: Hazeri Saakhat

From: Whisper Unity

Subject: Lab Partner/ Assistant wanted.


I currently serve as an Assistant aboard the NSS Aurora, along with other facilities; I have a wide variety of skills, including advanced constuction, EVA and emergency trauma treatment.

I am a swift learner and I am very good at organisation; however any conversation may be slighty stilted due to a speech impediment. I do drink tea, though I prefer hot cocoa.

I can provide references from Captain Varan Truesight and Research Director Jennifer Hynes.

Yours sincerly,

Whisper Unity

Whisper Unity

((Bonus points to anyone who can figure out who actually wrote this, because Whisper sure isn't this eloquent on paper.))

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