WhatsUpBrotendo Posted August 28, 2022 Posted August 28, 2022 (edited) Retconned articles from the Warble Enquirer will be posted here along with why they were retconned. Title: Longest Dionae Name Registered Date: 15/02/2016 Author: Jackboot/Marlon Phoenix Reason: Low quality content. Content: Spoiler Longest Dionae Name Registered Editors note: Translated to Basic. The citizen registry center of Tresja City on the planet Aweiji in the Waugshai star system has entered the record books today, as a dionae was given registration for its name which is currently the longest known name of its kind. Solar Winds Buffeting The Barren World As The Thin Veil Of Atmosphere Buckles Before The Might of the Cosmos Rendering The Planet Forever Trapped Within The Coil of Oblivion In The Inky Black Ocean Of Space Which Contrast The Gentle Stroke Of Life Painting A Picture Of Serene Contentment And Desire To Cherish Of The Value Of Being In The Face Of The Poetic Imbalance Of The Universe That We Swim So Blindly Through Like Blossoms Floating Down The Stream To Our Inevitable Return To Oblivion. When notified of the record breaking name SWBTBWATTVOABBTMOTCRTPFTWTCOITIBOOSWCTGSOLPAPOSCADTCOTVOBITFOTPIOTUTWSSBTLBFDTSTOIRTO said that they were pleased. As a small reward for the feat, the Council of Tresja have offered to give SWBTBWATTVOABBTMOTCRTPFTWTCOITIBOOSWCTGSOLPAPOSCADTCOTVOBITFOTPIOTUTWSSBTLBFDTSTOIRTO a commemorative token and free access to hydroponic facilities in the city. SWBTBWATTVOABBTMOTCRTPFTWTCOITIBOOSWCTGSOLPAPOSCADTCOTVOBITFOTPIOTUTWSSBTLBFDTSTOIRTO has also become a minor celebrity on the planet, with his name on everyone's lips. Several reporters have lost their voice having to repeat his name repeatedly during broadcasts. Title: Traversing Politics Once Again Date: 22/04/2016 Author: Loow Reason: Goes against current lore regarding Dionae in Federation politics. Dionae are only allowed to be in low positions with few exceptions. Content: Spoiler Traversing Politics Once Again Editors note: Translated to Basic. Roughly two years ago, Representative Traverses Through The Dank Ruins Of Fallen Cities In Solemn Memory Of The Bygone Days Of A People Whom Have Learned Much Through The Pain Of Loss announced that he would temporarily be unable to attend Federation events or perform political duties while once more traveling between ruins caused by the Third Incident. It is well documented knowledge that Traverses Through The Dank Ruins Of Fallen Cities In Solemn Memory Of The Bygone Days Of A People Whom Have Learned Much Through The Pain Of Loss first obtained his status as a renown member of Skrell society shortly after his arrival in Federation space. Once Traverses Through The Dank Ruins Of Fallen Cities In Solemn Memory Of The Bygone Days Of A People Whom Have Learned Much Through The Pain Of Loss had absorbed an understanding* of the Skrellian language, he began requesting information regarding the history of our species in great detail. Within weeks of his first meeting with a Skrell historian, he had begun visiting the memorials of the Third Incident and seeking to expand his knowledge of our culture. During this time of travel, he gained much acclaim for both his admirable endeavors to learn and the protective demeanor he had developed. Within his political career, Traverses Through The Dank Ruins Of Fallen Cities In Solemn Memory Of The Bygone Days Of A People Whom Have Learned Much Through The Pain Of Loss has served the Jargon Federation effectively as a Jargon Federation Representative. The esteemed Dionae recently released a statement to the Grand Council announcing his return to ambassadorial duties. This statement has been released to the public today following Grand Councilor Jrugl's decision to approve the Representative's return to politics. "Navigating the Qerrbalak ruins reminds me of why I do what I do. Why the people of this Federation are our most precious resource. (...) I feel I have reconnected with my roots. Now is the time that I must return to represent the Skrell." It is unclear at this time which Entity of Interest the reaffirmed Representative will claim. *Translator's note: In the context of its grammatical position and common usages within the Skrellian language, this wording is also expected to be interpreted as a literal drinking of the language (referencing the means through which Dionaea gain linguistic knowledge through the internal processing of blood samples) as well as suggest that the Dionae in question wasted little time before acting on this knowledge. Title: Human Relations: Reaching New Highs Date: 06/08/2016 Author: Loow Reason: Low quality/unused content that the current team does not want to further develop. Content: Spoiler Human Relations:Reaching New Highs Editors note: Translated to Basic. As near constant communication between the Jargon Federation and Sol Alliance has become the norm, similar trends have taken hold with many independent human governments. Correspondence continues to be the most consistent with The Alliance of Sovereign Solarian Nations for which the federal Representative system was first formed, but the recent surge in political activities within The Federal Republic of Biesel and the Tau Ceti System has resulted in a migration of ambassadorial officials to Human systems further from Earth. Federation sanctioned Representatives continue to conduct regular meetings with ambassadors of The Serene Republic of Elrya as well as The Eridani Corporate Federation on such a regular basis that several Representatives have chosen to focus solely on relations with these entities. This continued specialization of ambassadors has also resulted in a notable increase in diplomatic communications with several independent frontier systems. Bureaucrats from the relatively populous frontier planet Foreau alone have publicly invited multiple officials from Nralakk to attend upcoming Yearly Founding Ceremonies. When reached for comment, Representative Quax'lin Rolfpt-Lriosh was happy to give her thoughts on the growing political scene. "Skrell and Humans have been cooperating since the moment we found each other. Keeping contact exclusive to just one group would limit our understanding of the Human race just as significantly as it would limit their understanding of the Skrell. Less influential planets of the Human frontier are often given little voice beyond their own orbit. Foreau has proven to make itself an exception by making contact with Jargon diplomats on their own accord. I would be happy to attend Foreau's Yearly Founding Ceremony. Familiarity brings us all closer together. " Foreau has historically had a warm relationship with the Federation due to its proximity to Jargon borders. Its fair weather and expansive oceans have made it a popular destination for Skrell seeking to gain experience with Humans without travelling to farther locations such as Earth or Biesel. As more individual attention is placed onto individual planets and systems outside of the Federation, politicians are becoming increasingly optimistic regarding relations between the Skrell and Humanity. Title: Representative to Adhomai Suspended For "Deeply Insulting Rant" Against Tajara Ambassadors Date: 03/10/2016 Author: Jackboot/Marlon Phoenix Reason: Low quality/unused content that the current team does not want to further develop. Content: Spoiler Representative To Adhomai Suspended For "Deeply Insulting Rant" Against Tajara Ambassadors Editors note: Translated to Basic. In an otherwise unremarkable event in which Adhomai officials from the People's Republic of Adhomai were made guests of a diplomatic dinner in the Federal Capital of Kal'lo, has now been universally called a disaster. The event was meant to solidify relations with the war-troubled Tajara people and allow attending Jargon officials to offer advice and guidance to the young stellar nation. However, the entire affair has now been called a major diplomatic incident by Jargon pundits and officials. Social media has been thrown into a tizzy as the Federal Representative to Adhomai Weigleio Trislao'qlis was caught making an unguarded comment on camera after the dinner had ended. In the video she is seen speaking to Deputy Representative of Adhomai Huilo Qu'tup, where she dropped the statement that has been described by some shocked social media users as 'concerning.' In the video Trislao'qlis is asked by her Deputy how the dinner and talks went. The Representative then gave the unbelievable condemnation of the visiting Adhomai officials by responding, "they were quite rude." Chief Director of the Jargon Diplomatic Corps, Yui-Kal'lo, announced that Representative Trislao'qlis would be "unceremoniously suspended for her deeply insulting remarks to what were respected guests." He then elaborated on the reasoning for the suspension. "We understand that the Tajara are just barely entering infancy on the galactic stage. We are such an old, venerated galactic presence and we must project a sense of parental guidance to the youngest members of our galactic community. We had no intention of hurting the feelings of the Tajara people." The visiting Adhomai officials, Murauzkaun Rjazkaul and Yumraza Mrzura, seemed unaffected by the original insult, no doubt unable to understand the nuances of Skrellian language and subtext. After the Chief Director pulled them aside to impress upon them the implications of the diplomatic slight and extended an apology for hurting their feelings the two officials then took on a more suitable demeanor of annoyance, no doubt justifying the Chief Director's decision to suspend the former Representative to Adhomai. The People's Foreign Ministry of Adhomai has no remarked on the incident, but Adhomai Ambassador Rjazkaul was seen on camera after receiving the explanation and apology from the Chief Director. The Ambassador was heard saying "that was ridiculous." Edited August 28, 2022 by WhatsUpBrotendo
WhatsUpBrotendo Posted August 28, 2022 Author Posted August 28, 2022 (edited) Title: 1986 Earth Sports Film Unearthed: Makes Waves Across Federation Date: 23/10/2016 Author: Jackboot/Marlon Phoenix Reason: Low quality content. Content: Spoiler 1986 Earth Sports Film Unearthed: Makes Waves Across Federation Editors note: Translated to Basic. Archaeologists on Earth recently uploaded a cache of old-Earth films dated between 1985 - 1994. These films were found in an abandoned BlinkBlaster video store in near-mint condition. The films were in an extremely primitive "VHS" format, with the entire films stored in clunky rectangle boxes. The exact meaning of VHS remains lost to time, but the contents of one film in particular has created massive interest from Skrell. The Battle of Supreme Mountain, a 1986 sports film, follows the protagonist Todd Reagan, as he moves to a small town next to a ski resort owned by the father of the primary villain, Chad "Danger" Supreme. Todd attempts to ski but is refuted by Chad, who tries to run him off the slope, declaring that only he can run the "dangerous" slopes, at least until his father demolishes the resort to build a new office building. Todd keeps his composure and leaves, but resolves to defeat Chad after Chad's girlfriend discreetly assures him that Todd is "cool". After meeting a sage mentor who teaches Todd how to improve his skiing skills, and making several friends along the way as he learns to grow up, Todd returns and challenges Chad to a skiing competition, with the winner taking control of the ski resort. During the skiing competition, which draws a massive crowd, Todd manages to win with the help of his friends and using the skills learned from his mentor, despite the efforts of Chad to cheat. In the end, Todd wins the contest and frees the skiing resort from the evil Supreme family, and Chad's girlfriend breaks up with him to date the victorious Todd, who takes up a life skiing. Dejected and defeated, Chad and his father leave the town in disgrace as the entire town shows up to celebrate their departure. The film was originally uploaded in its entirety on the archaeologists public website, OldEarthArchaeology.sol. The website was rendered inoperable after receiving 603 million visitors within a 48 hour time span after the film was originally picked up by Federation media. The film has since been copied and re-mastered, and is currently being played in over 400 theaters across Federation space, with an entire film festival planned to be dedicated in its honor with members of the Grand Council in attendance, many of whom are advocating it be placed in the Grand Archive, amongst other works of cherished art. Weishizi Queya, a film critic, provided his summary. "The situation in which Todd must use the support structure of his friends is a notably emulation of Skrell culture, and its presence in an ancient human film is fascinating. The scene in which Todd does a sick flip, causing Chad to finally fathom the depths of his failure, is effective in portraying the strengths of ceremonial competition over brute force." Representatives to Earth arranged to have the film played for Earth dignitaries and researchers as part of the on-going cultural exchange. During the viewing, Representative Quayi Asheali'alip recorded several reactions from the human attendees that she then provided to Xeno-Linguists for proper syntax and appreciation, as she stated she is unaware of the implications behind comments such as "It was alright. Not sure what the big deal is.", which was revealed to be an expression of polite indifference, and "Oh Christ." Which was revealed to be an expression of surprised dismay. Title: Respectful Reclamation Initiatives Proceed Date: 20/07/2017 Author: Loow Reason: Goes against current Skrell lore in its content regarding businessmen/entrepreneurs existing in Federation space, as well as private land ownership. Content: Spoiler Respectful Reclamation Initiatives Proceed Editors note: Translated to Basic. Ground has been broken in central Xyla. Regional officials and architects are optimistic that efforts to revitalize and reconstruct key districts of the city will be fully completed by mid-October. Locally relevant businessman and entrepreneur Quriil Qrr’zip was asked by the Juerlduern Council for Expedient Expansion to issue a statement on the apparent necessity for renovation. “Xyla has historically served as a hotbed of cultural exchange and population growth. It is because of this reputation that the Team of Unified Commerce has focused on this particular region for reclamation efforts.” Multiple dubious anchors and investigative individuals have questioned Qrr’zip’s motives for backing the consistent and inexorable lobbying for ruin renovation. “Population centers and capitals throughout Nralakk will soon be swamped by incoming tourism and immigration applications from re-annexed systems. By respectfully reviving ruined regions, we can create communities which will be prepared to receive regular reunification recipients as residents.” Previous endeavors to convert sections of ruined cities have been met with mixed responses. The councils of Juerlduern and Wleshi remain gridlocked with no end in sight, but conversion of the Southwestern portion of the Jrugl’Qlip Ruins into livable city districts has been underway for several months. The beneficiaries backing Jrugl’Qlip reclamation efforts consist largely of commerce minded individuals as well as Quriil Qrr’zip himself. A noticeable forty percent of the reclaimed area was quickly acquired by Qrr’zip shortly after it became available for purchase. When asked about this figure in a recent interview, he replied with the following statement. “Some market-watchers have suggested that I may actually own much more than forty percent of Reclaimed Jrugl’Qlip because of the names used in several noteworthy deeds. I am sorry to say that these allegations have never been officially confirmed. Qrr’zip is a very common name.” Title: Re-Unifying the Republic: Ritual Wars to Resolve Longstanding Disputes Date: 30/08/2017 Author: Jackboot/Marlon Phoenix Reason: Goes against current Skrell lore regarding the species' view on the use of violence/war. Content: Spoiler Re-Unifying The Republic: Ritual Wars To Resolve Longstanding Disputes Editors note: Translated to Basic. With its refusal to concede to Federation requests of re-annexation like its wayward system Pluat, Government sources have confirmed that a major military operation is being orchestrated against the Yui'qui'gliop Republic. Jargon military advisors being transported to meet with local forces to begin updating the wayward republic's navy to meet technical and legal expectations of Washa'ql'tup; Ceremonial War. Yui'qui'gliop observers have also been granted access to Jargon forces being deployed to the system to take part in the war to ensure Federation compliance. Yui'qui'gliop was first embargoed, and then blockaded by the Federation navy since 2399 CE, when it refused the invitation to rejoin the Federation sent from the reorganized government on Jargon IV following reconstruction after the Glorsh-Omega singularity. The star system has a single inhabited planet with a population of 987 million, along with the local moon which is colonized by an estimated 502,032 individuals. The local military has a combined naval force of 80 corvettes, 40 destroyers, 1 carrier, and 2 battleships. This local fleet will be defending against a simulated assault by the Federation's 5th Flotilla of Qzishi of 30 corvettes, 15 destroyers, 2 carriers, and 1 battleship which will engage the local navy and attempt to clear the way for a ground invasion of the planet and its moon to seize particular, pre-determined locations defended by local garrisons. In total, Federation fighting strength will be at 350,000, while local forces are defending with 430,000. Deputy Vice-Minister Weixiz of the Committee of Reintegration announced these details along with expressing his full confidence in the upcoming engagement, as well as praising the local government for agreeing to the terms of the Washa'ql'tup. "In human terms, we will be conducting the largest game of 'laser tag' in several decades." Weixiz said, "after 60 years of isolation, the Gliops have finally seen the erroneous logic in their continued policy. Our longstanding policy of isolating disagreeable sectors creates incredible pressure for agreement to our terms. There is no conceivable way of a conventional conflict ever creating ideal methods of freedom for stubborn local populations, so a civilized handling of these affairs is praiseworthy." The Committee of Reintegration remains the primary agency responsible for advising the Grand Council on matters of independent Skrell star systems lost during the fallout of the Final Betrayal. Formed in 2333 CE, the committee has claimed to have persuaded over 187 formerly independent star systems the merits of reintegration into the Federation. An undisclosed amount of systems remain isolated by the Federal Navy until invitations for reintegration are accepted by local governments. This policy of containment has been questioned by some advocacy groups questioning the ethical justifications for blocking Skrell populations from achieving their destiny of exploration, colonization, and study of the wider cosmos, but the policy has remain uncompromising since its inception. "To use a metaphor from a great cultural treasure, our justification for this policy remains thus: The galaxy is a dangerous slope, and one in which only the united voice of the Federation may ride." Weixiz said. Title: Sister Systems Reunite as Qrruhilum is Reannexed Date: 08/11/2017 Author: Loow Reason: Goes against current Skrell lore regarding the species' view on the use of violence/war. Content: Spoiler Sister Systems Reunite as Qrruhilum is Reannexed Editors note: Translated to Basic. After a prompt seven-hour meeting with Federation officials, the Committee of Qrruhilum unanimously opted to rejoin the Federation. Ambassadors and Federation Representatives alike are overjoyed to see the previously cut-off system of Qrruhilum rejoin the Jargon Federation. None seem more relieved than Qrruhilum native and politician Yaxiztul Xultwrl who offered his own words after the meeting’s conclusion. “Stagnating in our own pocket of space has been inconvenient and unpleasant. Even the bureaucrats who ignored the Tresja agreement have seen the error of their ways. We will not waste any more time. We have been waiting long enough for the chance to make ourselves useful again. Seven hours was more than enough time to reach an agreement.” Qrruhilum previously enjoyed constant communication and cooperation with its sister-system, Xaqixal. The two systems had been colonized at roughly the same time and have historically cooperated closely in matters of trade and government. While their time apart has given Qrruhilum time to craft its own internal bureaucracy, this governing body has professed their interest in resuming its previous trade practices with nearby Xaqixal. To welcome the system back to its rightful place in the Federation, the Committee of Reintegration has suggested a few motions to help Qrruhilum residents prepare to reenter the galactic community. The most notable initiative calls for educators from Nralakk and Foreau to travel to Qrruhilum. These educators would be compensated for up to ten years of service as they bring the system’s citizenry up to speed on subjects including: recent events, the Tau Ceti Basic language, and basic xenobiology. Despite Qrruhilum’s relatively low population, its inhabitants have been granted a place in the Grand Council. The newly recognized system will be allowed four weeks to designate their very own Member of the Grand Council. While local officials have not yet confirmed their choice, frontrunners include Yaxiztul Xultwrl, a spirited one hundred and thirty year old Skrell who served in the system’s local government for much of the last fifty years. He is also confirmed to be related to Grand Council member Xultwrl’Tresja of the Xaqixal system. When asked about her experience with the meeting, Xultwrl’Tresja was quick to offer praise to her relative. “It brought me much comfort to speak with my brother’s son once again. He was a very ambitious youth, and I am not at all surprised that he became a public servant. Politics must be in our genes.” The Grand Council member went on to exclaim her support for the small system’s quick and enthusiastic annexation. Other attendees voiced their excitement for the upcoming ceremonial warfare between the Federation’s well-trained and educated soldiers and the conflicted, unenthusiastic Gliop standing force. Yaxitzul Xultwrl commented on the civilized conflict, stating: “Some individuals are not ready to set aside their differences and cooperate in the name of progress, but we are prepared to walk well among the stars with our fellow Skrell, together.” Edited August 28, 2022 by WhatsUpBrotendo
WhatsUpBrotendo Posted August 28, 2022 Author Posted August 28, 2022 (edited) Title: Human Cultural Awareness: Guide to April Fools Date: 31/12/2017 Author: Loow Reason: Low quality content. By this point Humanity and Skrell have interacted for around a century, there would be no need for an April Fools explanation. Content: Spoiler Human Cultural Awareness: Guide to April Fools Editors note: Translated to Basic. With the sudden discovery of Humanity, Skrell across the galaxy gained access to an entirely foreign array of societies and customs. Many such customs are difficult to understand from a purely “Skrellian” perspective. With the help of youthful reporters and interns from human territories, writers from the Warble Inquirer will examine one of Humanity’s more complex holidays: April Fool’s Day. The first day of the month April is observed by many humans, especially youths, as a day for playful mischief. This mischief, often referred to as a “prank” is typically acceptable if harmless in nature. Many pranks, however, escalate far beyond the bounds of polite misconduct. Human historians report that millions of pranks have “gone wrong” in the several hundred years since the holiday’s inception. Many high profile cases of professional ineptitude and even manslaughter have been recorded as “just a prank” on human media. Human mischief is a dangerous thing, and April is fast approaching. We at the Warble Inquirer recognize that many Skrell abroad may want to join in on the “fun” of April foolishness. In the hopes of informing the public, we have created a list of acceptable as well as unacceptable tomfoolery. Acceptable April Fools activities: - Calling friends or coworkers by shortened variations of their names. - Making hats or headgear out of things which are not hats or headgear. - Writing with one’s nondominant hand. Unacceptable April Fools activities: - Leaving traps for coworkers involving buckets of water and doors. - Writing notes inciting violence. - High profile assassination. We at the Warble Inquirer would like to remind our readers that human pranks, while sometimes endearing, can become incredibly dangerous very quickly. It is estimated that there may be as many as seven million Humans permanently residing on Jargon IV before the end of the century. It is very likely that we will continue to see spikes in crime and unacceptable behavior in human areas during holidays like April Fool’s Day. Readers should be prepared. Title: Ceremonial War Ends; Further Events Required Date: 12/01/2018 Author: Loow Reason: Goes against current Skrell lore regarding the species' view on the use of violence/war. Content: Spoiler Ceremonial War Ends; Further Events Required Editors note: Translated to Basic. Following a speedy twenty hour skirmish, the Ceremonial War between Jargon Federation and the Yui’qui’gliop Republic forces has ended in favor of Jargon. Despite the clear and utter victory of the Federation's 5th Flotilla of Qzishi over the Yui’qui’gliop’s ragtag fleet, local government bodies have called for meetings with the Committee of Reintegration and the Grand Council in order to argue the results. Because of this dispute, details regarding the Washa’ql’tup have been made public. Within the first hour of the skirmish, Federation destroyer class vessel “Quualt’Tiapt of Gialok” had successfully blocked the Gliop force’s only carrier from dispensing the remainder of its fighters. Using a maneuver now being referred to as the Yizarus Rush, the destroyer charged forward and collided with the obsolete carrier’s hangar area, trapping many Gliop pilots within the ship for the battle’s duration. The maneuver, while effective, is receiving critique for its use on Skrell forces. A confirmed five Gliop crewmen died as a result of the Quualt’Tiapt of Gialok’s gambit. After four hours, the entirety of the Gliop fleet had been disabled while several of its antiquated cruisers were rendered completely inoperable. Ground forces exchanged fire immediately upon landing on the planet’s surface. Thanks to the superior tactics and training of our Jargon military footmen, Federation troops were able to capture the agreed upon objectives on the planet’s surface only five hours after landing. Federation military forces utilized slower and gentler tactics on the Gliop moon, but were still able to take their objectives within ten hours. Within two hours of this decisive victory, governing officials of the Yui’qui’gliop Republic were challenging the results. After a taxing nine hour meeting, Deputy Vice-Minister Weixiz of the Committee of Reintegration announced the outcome of these meetings. In his words: “The Yui’qui’gliop Republic takes issue with this Washa’ql’tup for many reasons. Their planet, as we know, was home to an extensive museum of space flight. Some of the ships used today were built using the museum’s relics and discharged vessels as a technological base. Many more were even part of the exhibits long ago. They claim their loss in space is invalid on the grounds that their vessels were too grossly inferior to pose a threat to even a small number of Jargon Navy spacecraft. They claim their people, while industrious, are not suited to be militants and seem to have no confidence in the skill of their ground forces. This was surprising for many in the Grand Council as the Yui’qui’gliop Republic politicians had been so eager for this Ceremonial War before its conclusion. Due to the poor upkeep of their outdated, poorly constructed vessels and the inept, clueless nature of their ground commanders, some thirty eight of their system’s citizenry have died today.The belligerent, easily confused politicians of the Yui’qui’glip Republic claim that there must have been some sort of trickery at play despite a lack of any supporting evidence. Barring such allegations, they claim the unwarranted death toll is enough to justify additional ceremonial trials. After some deliberation, the Grand Council agreed to allow for a series of ceremonial competitions to take the place of this Washa’ql’tup. In other words, the ‘sore losers’ called ‘shenanigans’ and ‘doubled down’ for a rematch.” Deputy Vice-Minister Weixiz went on to say that the Federation naval force used in the mock battle had “good hustle” and asserted that the ground forces had “a lot of heart” throughout the event. While the Federation victory in this Walsha’ql’tup is undeniable, Grand Council members recognize that the lives lost in this Ceremonial War warrant some form of additional ceremony. The civilian death toll of this ceremonial event is the highest seen in over a decade, since several public officials of Jargon IV ended a dispute over land-titles with an impromptu duel with traditional human weaponry in 2445. With the memory of the many fallen Gliop belligerents in mind, the Grand Council moved to allow the system’s fate to be decided by a series of ceremonial competitions. After hearing the stances of the rest of the council, Grand Councillor Weashbi Jrugl is reputed to have said, “Sure.” After this unprecedented statement of faith in his people, the Grand Council unanimously ruled in support of further ceremonial competitions. Title: Outsider Calls False Alarm: Forces Respond Appropriately Date: 17/01/2018 Author: Loow Reason: Low quality content. Mentions a Skrell being executed over a fake synthetic threat which goes against current Skrell lore regarding their view on the worth of a Skrell's life. Content: Spoiler Outsider Calls False Alarm: Forces Respond Appropriately Editors note: Translated to Basic. A scene of Jargon military exceptionalism erupted in Miftaup’Nion earlier today. A Pluat-born Skrell turned amateur film reviewer called in an illegitimate threat in the center of the proud city. Their names have been stricken from this report as a service to their families. The Pluat native had apparently been in an ongoing debate with a Quualt’Pluux living in the same area. It is believed that he called in a false synthetic threat as a prank. His intention, we gather, was to delay his adversary’s response to a film debate for a number of days. In this threat, he claimed that he had built a small personal artificial intelligence and was in the process of transferring it into a Faraday Cage. He claimed to be his adversary, but voice recognition techniques along with location triangulation technology revealed his true identity. Local police forces quickly arrived at the reported location. Within minutes, first-responders had arrested fifteen individuals in order to ensure that there was, in fact, no synthetic intelligence on the premises. For the next several hours, the area was thoroughly searched. In this regard, the prank was successful. The Pluat native’s adversary was delayed for some time and received minor, non-lethal injuries. Meanwhile, Tup forces closed in on the triangulated true location of the Pluat native who had called the false alarm. Within seconds, multiple ion weapons had discharged, rendering the entirety of the residence and surrounding areas without electronics. At the same time, cutting-edge psychological warfare techniques were used, as nearby vessels hovered over the Pluat-born criminal’s home. Said vessels loudly played ancient alien music in lesser-known Human languages with the intent of intimidating and confusing the offender. The tactic was effective. Forces breached the large building from multiple entry points. The offender was forcibly detained. The offender, at first, tried to deny allegations against himself. Within an hour, Tup forces had extracted a confession and confirmed a lack of any synthetic intelligences in the area. After receiving word from local forces that the threat was a bogus claim, Tup forces extracted the offender. The offender could not be reached for comment as he was summarily executed for instigating a false alarm. The offender had not only ended his own life by reporting a serious threat falsely, but also ensured that whatever insight he had would be lost. His work and debate notes are all believed to have been erased in the storm of ion weapon fire which Tup forces unleashed on his home. With his name stricken from public records and his plans for the future ended, the offender learned the hard way that Jargon IV is not like his home of Pluat. It is not clear if he would have been successful in his crimes in a less civilized system like Pluat or Tau Ceti, but it is clear that such threats are taken seriously in Jargon. Title: Bacteria Native to Human Space Eradicated Date: 24/07/2018 Author: witchbells Reason: This is the only mention of Skrell in human space being forced to adopt vegetarian diets, and as far as I'm aware has largely been ignored/forgotten. The team would rather retcon this than keep it as a result of the information not being put on the wiki or made more apparent beforehand. Content: Spoiler Editors note: Translated to Basic. For years, skrell who have spent time in human colonies have found themselves quickly falling ill upon dining on any dish containing animal products, and suffer uncomfortable side effects from even the smallest amounts. This is caused by a bacterial infection that can shockingly be found in a wide array of animals cared for on human worlds. Because skrell are the only ones effected by this bacteria, and since it was easily avoided by switching to a vegan diet, humans allowed it to run amok until recently when skrellian scientists in Tau Ceti took it upon themselves to see if they could prevent the bacteria from spreading and eradicating it once and for all. These specialists have been studying the bacteria for years, calling it "Zaoo Quuuqr." One of the specialists, Dr. Xafoloc Qrrzzyqrxix had this to share with us. "The locals were actually a great help in this endeavor," referring to the humans of Tau Ceti. "Humans, in general, have had a lot of experience with these sorts of infections. Whereas we would have suggested things like genetic modification, the humans had easier, simpler, and just as effective methods of getting rid of the bacteria." The reactions are mixed. Some skrell are perfectly happy living on a vegan diet, claiming that it has positive effects on physical and mental well-being. However, some skrell are scornful of the developments, despite the total elimination of such an infectious bacterium. Nral'malic posts on an anonymous image board were exceptionally vitriolic, openly demeaning the efforts because of the fact that humans were involved. The changes are already underway in human meat industries, and millions of animals have already been immunized. Edited August 28, 2022 by WhatsUpBrotendo
WhatsUpBrotendo Posted August 28, 2022 Author Posted August 28, 2022 (edited) Title: Independent Former Colony TreiWaq'li Hosts Mad Scientist Q'uarshin Q'qili Who's work Threatens the Existence Of Us All Date: 31/07/2018 Author: Jackboot/Marlon Phoenix Reason: Mentions of a doomsday device amongst other things. Not something we wish to keep. Content: Spoiler Independent Former Colony Trei’waq’li Hosts Mad Scientist Q’uarshin Q’qili Who’s Work Threatens The Existence Of Us All Editors note: Translated to Basic. A Request for Restraint from Grand Councillor Jrugl has been lifted on this station's ability to report on the Q’qili Extranet Video Stream and the implications. Despite the continued seclusion of the Trei’waq’li system that extends to communication as well as physical travel, a video has spread across the extranet originating from the system. The bluespace transmission of the video piggybacked off of the telecommunications of official Naval transmissions, where an unidentified agent allowed the message to spread to civilian relays. The video is a self-recording of the computer scientist Q’uarshin Q’qili and is a manifesto for her current research project into a doomsday device. The actual video remains under a Request for Restraint and so we are obliged to provide a summary. Quote Scientist Q’qili is in the video being interviewed by an off-screen Skrell. She is sitting in a laboratory setting behind a desk. She is being asked questions about her work. Q’qili: "The Artifact is a partial memory module of an early era of positronic brain from a custodial bot subsumed by the Entity. It possesses terabytes of data from its time as part of the collective consciousness once known as Glorsh-Omega. Module remains filled with algorithmic residue. Dormant." Unknown: "This means?" Q’qili: "Analogy would compare to a faded photocopy of a ghost. All of the terabytes of data are encoded through advanced ciphers. By stimulating the synthetic synapses through integration into intelligence interface, my lab is able to study the resulting spikes in brain activity. Imagine studying the brain waves of a dream of a medical patient in a deep coma. By studying the synthetic-neural responses to stimulants, we are able to parse and navigate resulting data. Decryption has lead to information on Entity's research and implementation of the genetic sterilization of Skrell." Unknown: "Proof provided?" Q’qili picks up a small handheld remote. A projection appears on a white wall behind her. Data, graphs, and charts appear with annotations and work shown. Q’qili: "Department of Health allowed experimental trials. Ten volunteers who had remained sterile despite extensive fertility treatments from government. After being given experimental genetic therapy based on our research, two subjects brought each a single life into our universe. Children are healthy, and will soon reach out to the stars." Unknown: "Statements made prior indicate you have the synthetic Entity known as Glorsh in a 'coma'. Possible for synthetic to wake up?" Q’qili: "Improbable. Highly unlikely. Safety procedures are taken. It is not dangerous." Unknown: "Not dangerous?" Q'qili: "Any danger has worth to justify risks." Scientists within the Jargon Federal Health Commission have taken the six days since this transmission gained the awareness of the government to consider the wild claims made by the scientist. The entire committee of 37 medical scientists have released an official statement in which they unanimously, and in a scathing rebuttal, called the hypothesis by Q'qili to be "questionable." Popular response from citizens has also been mixture of deep concern. Social media has exploded with posts from young skrell requesting anecdotes from living survivors of the Synthetic Oppression. Accounts from the survivors, often older, esteemed members of families, has created a spreading sense of apprehension and fear within the Federation. Four Representatives have taken Trei’waq’li as their Entity of Interest in the past 10 years, and all four have within the last few days claimed disinterest in the system. Admiral Huweshi'tup of the Sentinels of Starlight fleet that is enforcing the seclusion of the star system harboring Q'qili gave his own statement. "Trei’waq’li declined the invitation to attend the Tresja Agreement which would have seen them returned to the Federation on schedule. I was then asked by the Grand Council to ensure they were given ample time of seclusion from the galaxy in order to think upon their actions and goals for the future. It was for the duration unpleasant to hold back the Skrell seeking to walk with us among the stars. Sometimes children require the discipline of adults when they begin to lose their way. Tre'waq'li has lost their way. Corrections will be given." Weashbi Jrugl did not give any public or recorded private statements in the days following the broadcast, and this silence continued until the end of the Request for Restraint. After the Request was retracted our reporters were allowed to interact with Jrugl as he was exiting a closed-door assembly of the Grand Council. "The Grand Council has a deep concern for rapid preservation of galactic security. The Grand Council has taken great lengths to stress this position to me during these past few days. They are now assured I understand their point of view. We are taking care of this." Behind him was Director Qroisht Tup who was also exiting the building. After Jrugl entered the passenger seat of his transportation and was driven away at a speed remarkably higher than the speed limit Director Qroisht Tup was left waiting on the sidewalk outside the Grand Council building and provided additional clarification on the position of the Federal Government. "We are considering the artifact in the possession of the scientist Q’uarshin Q’qili to be a weapon of mass destruction. She holds in her hands a tool of genocide and suffering. Her excuses are insufficient. Not having faced greater threat to organic life since the Third Incident. I am ensuring we do not have archaeologists from the far future look back on these days and call it the Last Incident." Director Tup's transportation then arrived and he unceremoniously entered the passenger seat and was driven away at equally high speed. If the star system of Trei’waq’li has a statement on their reasons for allowing research into a weapon of mass destruction, the intensifying seclusion from Admiral Huweshi'tup has rendered the galaxy unable to hear it. Title: Trei'Waq'li Wins Washa'ql'tup, System To the Federation After Re-Evalutation of Colony's Status; Mad Scientist's Lab Seized and Destroyed Date: 03/08/2018 Author: Jackboot/Marlon Phoenix Reason: Same as above. Content: Spoiler Trei’waq’li Wins Washa’ql’tup, System To the Federation After Re-Evaluation of Colony’s Status; Mad Scientists’ Lab Seized And Destroyed Editors note: Translated to Basic. An memo has been released by the office of the Grand Councillor confirming that a spontaneous Washa’ql’tup (ritual war) was conducted against the Trei’waq’li system by Admiral Huweshi'tup. The memo claims that Admiral Huweshi'tup was ‘zealous’ in demanding an immediate Washa’ql’tup with the rogue system and he provided the list of terms and conditions. Trei’waq’li had requested four additional days of preparation time as well as a re-negotiation of the terms of a Federation victory. Trei’waq’li was declined the additional preparation time as Admiral Huweshi'tup deployed half of his fleet, Sentinels of Starlight, to the predetermined staging areas and began the mock invasion of the system’s inhabited planet Aweis’huwishii. He began the match by firing upon the defenders with low intensity laser rounds, 'tagging' defending vessels. The smaller defending fleet in orbit of the planet were quick to return fire, engaging the attacking fleet and consenting to the original schedule of the Washa’ql’tup. The attacking Sentinels of Starlight conducted a Reglushi Encirclement but were countered by an unusual local doctrine. At the end of the ceremony the attackers had all of its ships ‘disabled’, bringing victory to the rogue system. After several hours of remaining in orbit of Aweis’huwishii and declining the system's polite but firm requests for his departure, Admiral Huweshi'tup’s fleet announced to the local system that legal scholars had discovered the colonies’ original colonization agreement from 2046 CE had granted the colony to the federal government “in perpetuity”. This clause had never been changed or challenged and remains a legally binding contract. Sentinels of Starlight activated their primary weapons systems and moved to occupy the system. "The local government has accepted the logic of following the letter of the law. They have acknowledged declining to follow the rule of law would render them a criminal entity and I would seek additional resources from the Grand Council for a more firm response. Local government understands a peaceful return to the Federation is the best for the prosperity of inhabitants. Transition to Federal control will be smooth." The local defense force were all carefully monitored by weapons control specialists until their older model of vessels were shut down and boarded by Tup Commandos. On the surface of Aweis’huwishii, military forces are now landing in transport shuttles to begin the process of formally re-integrating the planet’s government. Officials from the Federal government have been dispatched by the Grand Council to take over administration duties. Another statement from the office of the Grand Councillor has confirmed that authorities are continuing to search for the mad scientist Q’uarshin Q’qili and her illegal research. "Q’uarshin Q’qili has violated the law forbidding the research, construction, or possession of synthetic intelligence within the territory of the Jargon Federation. We are considering the crime to have taken place retroactively to our awareness of the violation, as we have deemed the star system to have always been Federation territory. Lab will be found and research destroyed." The public response has been overwhelmingly positive for the government's’ handling of the crisis. Social media has been abuzz about the shrewd legal knowledge of Admiral Huweshi'tup, who was able to find a legal method of winning the conflict with the local system despite having not been victorious in the formal ceremony. Edited August 28, 2022 by WhatsUpBrotendo
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