Camile Crafter's Death

[Cassie]

It is a book. There are a few ripped diary pages that are taken out of a book. It is written on lined paper and is written with black ink. The handwriting is cursive, and would match Camile Crafter's handwriting by 98% certainty.

 

 

15th April 2457

 

On holiday with Igam. Well, going to, here's to keeping my waistline over the holidays? Should I pack my dumbbells in my travel case? Would it seem too elaborate, diary? Let me know! 

The holiday resort has been amazing. Igam and I have been learning new drink mixes while we've been out. Can't wait to put these skills to use.

Heh.

 

20th April 2457

 

Dear Diary,

Shit. I've been missing work so much. I should write in here more often. Just came back from the rock-and-roll-moon with Igam. It was great going on with this guy, he's been there you know? I need to tell him he is really important, his self-esteem seems really low. 

He has wonderful smiles though. I'm not good with smiling, smiling is kind of healing in a way. He's experienced in life but so innocent, I wonder like, if we're similar in that way.

 

28th April 2457

 

Should I dye my hair again? Should I go back? Lhinton told me he loves me, is this true? I don't think love is something that exists... But you know, I never thought people could love me, I never saw anything there to be loved really. I'm staying optimistic! I'm going to try to work hard, I'm going to fix my life! 

Bartender tips are virtually non-existent on the Aurora, I used to get them when I was new but not any more. Figures. Oh well, economy food for Ginger-winger.

 

1st May 2457

 

Ugh. The price of celery has gone waaay up. You know, the economy on Sol is ridiculous. I can't even pay for rent - my entire paycheck goes for this ridiculously poor choice of an inflated apartment, and now my water-veg diet is giving me a hard time and already in debt. I opted for buying roasted turkey slices last week but I binned them, I can't stand the thought of eating any more.

Donny's such a good person. He goes out looking for work every day - that's dedication, and honestly he's so intelligent. I wish I was like him when I was younger. I was such a fool, wasting my life. I want him to feel unafraid in pursuing his dreams, I won't tell him about the rent. He does not need to worry. I respect him so much.

 

5th May 2457

 

Beginning of summer's coming up. Iggs is busy after that holiday, I imagine he'd need time alone after what happened to him. Poor thing, he's been through so much. I just want to hug the guy sometimes. I binge ate on some toffees, I don't know why I do that sometimes, that's why I'm where I am - I have no self-control. I'm going to do another week fast to feel a bit better so that's sorted.

I've been missing Locks, I wish I'd call her more often. I shouldn't tell her about it any more. It wouldn't be right to bother her.

 

7th May 2457

 

Right, I've been losing a bit of weight, I think that if I lose a bit more I'll stop. Now that I think about out, when will I stop? I can't concentrate at work any more, and I'm hearing a ticking in my chest, I'm not quite sure what that is. I saw -her- today, she looks really pretty in her uniform - she's so well accomplished now. 

I've been having nightmares, mostly about clowns. Clowns you know? I need to feed Ginger. 

 

8th May 2457

 

I'm a monster.

 

9th May 2457

 

I've been talking to Lhinton regarding my rent recently. He's been more and more demanding on what I should do for him, I don't want to see him any more. I'm scared of him, I hate this lifestyle. I need to him to help me because I can't do anything on my own. I feel trapped. I wish I was more independant. I'm enrolling on an engineering course today at Aurora, I think perhaps I can turn my life around. I've been keeping so many people out of my life since it's not normal, but if I made it normal I could let people in.

I'm going to be inspirational, I'm going to fix my life. I'm going to be successful. I don't need Lhinton, I don't need anyone. I'm fine.

 

10th May 2457

 

I quit my apprenticeship on the first day.

I couldn't handle it.

It's 2am in the morning, I'm having suicidal thoughts today. I will probably take my medication in a minute but I need to let this out. I've made poor choices with my life. I'm a mistake, my life is a mistake. I'm twenty seven. In a few years, I will be thirty. I'm just another excuse of a woman. I don't even know why I exist. I think, that there's a reason my life is going this way - I'm stupid. I should probably go to the doctor about that ticking noise I'm hearing, but I've got things to do.

 

11th May 2457

 

Cherone I'm sorry. Mum. Dad. I'm sorry. I'm so stupid. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry.

I'll change. I promise.

12th May 2457

 

I've been feeling weak all day, passing out. Dizzy. Can't write much, going to sleep.

 

Notes from CSI/Forensics:

Camile Crafter's diary, found next to her body in her apartment in her living room in Sol, England on the 12th May 2015. Her time of death is 9:34pm.

She was lying at her desk, presumably writing in her diary before she died. Cause of death is speculated to be a malfunction of her mechanical heart, the mechanical pericardium showed signs of damage and was leaking blood - leading to internal bleeding. There are no signs of a homicide.