Jboy2000000 Posted November 14, 2015 Posted November 14, 2015 Type (e.g. Planet, Faction, System): Faction Founding/Settlement Date (if applicable): N/A Region of Space: Unathi Space (The wiki doesn't say where that is) Controlled by (if not a faction): Other Snapshot information: The Unathi part of my crusade to make wizard lore for all the in game species. Beside what the name says, they are a singular clan with magical abilities. I tried to give them a good mix of Unathi hostile ideals and latent wisdom, but it seems I may have made them a bit like lizard Illuminati, so sorry about that. Long Description: Google Doc
Killerhurtz Posted November 30, 2015 Posted November 30, 2015 A few things that irk me (as a non-unathi-lore-expert): They were smarter than their brothers and sisters, and they found themselves with strange powers, powers they could use to crush any in their way. Seems like a lazy way to say "ancient wizards". Expanding on that - exactly what gives them their powers and why - would be very good. (Though I'm not sure, although I THINK I remember magic not actually being a thing - just advanced tech. But this is just rambling - ignore it for now). But they only wrote it, so no one would suspect they were standing behind it all, the secret, silent masters. Feels very illuminati-ish and cliche. Without mentioning that it means they have a LOT of powers and gives them very little reason to actually interact with people outside the Hegemony, since they just could get them to do it. I feel that an 'ancient historian that saw patterns' would fare better in this context. They offered their services, in exchange they would be given the any resources they had to offer. Seeking power, the Hegemony accepted, branding them now the Kres’ha’nor Soya. Spies and warriors for the hegemony. It was the first golden age of the Sehr Clan, they flourished under the hegemony’s power, growing in size, power, and wealth. Feels like just a too-convenient way of making the group powerful. Again, I'm not a lore expert - but I feel like the Unathi might have rather killed these wizards for various possible reasons, or at least have met them with skepticism and maybe even exile. Not just be like "LOL wizards I'll give you resources". But their golden age eventually turned bronze, at the end of the first hegemony. When the hegemony started to crumble, all the fragments raced to destroy all records of the Soya’s existence, if their honour was going to be spurned by the fall, they would not have it spurned by records of them using something as cowardly as spies. This proves my point. Unathi are very honor-bound - and not only to other Unathi, but to their ancestors (which would undoubtably know about this) as far as I can tell. They wouldn't HIDE they were doing some shifty stuff - they wouldn't do it in the first place. Also, is it the Soya clan or Sehr clan? They didn’t lose their power from working with hegemony, even though it was no longer there, they pocketed and used so much from them, they were able to keep their size. This seems like just handwaving it. They could have stayed powerful by LEARNING things from the Hegemony. But you'd think that whatever the Hegemony gave them would have lost it's value once things were over. They sat and bided time until the second hegemony was finally founded. This time, they let themselves be greedy, playing both teams, You'd think that even though they 'erased' history, a lot of rumors would have surfaced regardless, no? Letting it happen once would be fine, but twice? And the second time around, it's a supposedly-very-powerful group too. I'm pretty certain that everything in this scenario raises some doubts. There was no way they were going to touch either the hegemony itself, or even attempt to help the humans or the Skrell, but they had other ways in. They approached the Hegemon Shadow Service, and joined their ranks, this time taking the name of the Shadow Casters, given the deal that they are not employed by either the hegemony itself or the shadow service, but they could take any actions they want as long as it was not against them. The freeness of the pre-hegemony, with the power of the golden ages. Again, so much handwaving - not once, not twice, but three times very big organizations secretly hire a supposedly-mostly-hidden shady group instead of eliminating them? Also, this last bit directly clashes with our current wizard lore - remember it's supposed to be first contact, not Traitor+/Operative+. Of course I could be entirely wrong, but personally this faction feels too much of a Mary-Sue organization.
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