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Xxxretroxgears3 Unathi Application ((read extra note please)

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BYOND Key: Xxxretroxgears3

Character Names: Darrel Lowstetter

Species you are applying to play: Unathi

What color do you plan on making your first alien character (Dionaea & IPCs exempt): Dark Criminson/Black

Have you read our lore section's page on this species?: Yes i got info from Whittly two

Please provide well articulated answers to the following questions in a paragraph format. One paragraph minimum per question

Why do you wish to play this specific race: I wish to be this race because everyone takes Tajara and IPC no on ever wants to pick Skrell or even Vaurca anyone more. I also find Unathi one of the most interesting races on Aurora because they are quiet but usually deadly and everyone who plays as them RP'S pretty good. Next in real life I just like lizards so i relate to this race fairly well.

Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human: When role-playing as human your a human and theirs no buffs/debuffs and their are no voice changes.((unless you want to use a accent.)) no "third person" or any crazy speech patterns such as the Vaurca. Finally, when being a alien you need to act and talk like one ((it may get 2-3 rounds to get used to))


Character Name: Slazar Appendis

Please provide a short backstory forthis character, approximately 2 paragraphs Slazar Appendis is a a Hegemony Unathi of the Youthnosheneeis clan located 4 kilometers from the city of S'th. The clan has been around since PreHegemony era but the name has changed before and has gone under radical changes during the First an Second Hegemomy period but restored in the Third one and has gone under smaller changes. Sense the Third Hegemony this clan has one absolute rule Appendis family rules because the family has been around the longest and is the most fair, honorable, and strong. Usually the strongest clan members are black dark red or crimson but once in a while their is slight variation and the rare Blue Albino Unathi or the strongest the clan has know. The 10 strongest Males and Females grant the most power to the family in the clans the higher up and more powerful the more power and if multiple kids are the strongest its even more influence the clan has. They do have a lot of power in the lords court and are very respectable by supplying a significant number of troops. NT knows this clan very very well and has been keeping taps on them wishing to recruit these clan members.

During the 4th hegemony anther clan called the Daruesanztorm they attacked the Youthnosheeis's in their sleep killing many. The survivors went to the lord who looked down and said "Get out of my face" they left to go to their current spot in the plains as they are loyal to their lord at any time they would leave and kill him. Around this time NT thought they should make a move and sign a contract. Shizku's great gran-father signed it saying any member can NT at a moments notice.

Slazar Appendis was born as a Hegemony in the clan Youthnosheneeis. When he was born his father Shizku Appendis was the leader of the clan or at the top in the election. His mother was a fighter who taught Slazar at the age of 5 how to be a warrior for their "lord". His farther the strongest of the clan was pure black when Slazar was born he was the 12 child of Shizku but he was in the top 3 strongest male children by the time he was 9 also it was round . Slazar wished to be a NT Navy trooper one day and trained very hard because he generally opposed the lords ideas. Around the age of 15 Slazar was the 10th strongest male in the entire cla nalong with his loving sister who ranked 8th in the strongest females in the clan. At Slazar left his clan join the Navy along with 6 other. On ther travels they spoke of the no good lord and told stories around their fire's. The following month he found a NT navy officer landing in S'th and was accepted into the Sol military academy for the gifted and graduated when he was 23 years old. 10 years later he retired due to humans and other alien races bullying Salzar due to him breaking off of his clan and becoming "a no good Lizardbeast traitor". After he became a security officer on the NSS Allahkbar. Due to his experience and the harassment he is skeptical about other races and his hesitant around new people. Now his 4 year contract his just expired and is looking for employment.

What do you like about this character? I like his personality

How would you rate your role-playing ability? Depends on how i feel i am usually a 7-8

Notes: Thanks Jackboot for showing me my errors. But!!!! my insion opened up and i have to go BACK so my edits will then again be put from a hospital.

Edited by Guest
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Guest Marlon Phoenix

Glancing at the last name first made it look like Appendicitis for some reason. I was like, "his clan name is a medical condition????" And "Youthnosheneeis" looked like "You don't see this!". I've had the weirdest things with puns today.


The Background

The Hegemony, or Izweski Nation, is a feudal state. There is the Hegemon who rules the Lords. The Lords give him soldiers and taxes in exchange for land and protection. The Lords rule their own territories, and under them are the Clan Leaders, who rule their own clans and give their own services to the Lords in exchange for, again, land and protection. There's a ladder of responsibility and obligation. Democracy breaks the back of the entire system, and throws the whole thing into disarray. Adding a democratic system would have to be something we really plan out and consider. These are an alien species who's entire concept of society and politics is set in stone - as a whole, they're far too conservative or reactionary to just allow a democratic state to exist. It'd be invaded a bazillion times.

The only way a democratic Unathi nation could work, is if it was not a Hegemonic vassal. Democracy doesn't tend to be viewed very favorably by absolute monarchs. As well as this, a democracy is a bit of an... Anti-thesis to the Unathi culture. Do you think you could tell me why this particular group of clans had presidents, and a system remarkably similar to the United States?

One possibility I think for this background to work is if it was an 'exiled' sort of thing. A little Unathi enclave somewhere with this system, cast out because they're really weird and practice an alien form of government. As in, literally taken from extraterrestrials since democracy didn't exist on Moghes before First Contact. And I mean, the last time human influenced a large chunk of Unathi, their planet exploded. So I can't see them letting yet another human-influenced state exist anywhere! Not while they still have pewpew guns and a hate-boner for anything extra-terrestrial influencing traditional Unathi life. Don't even get me started on how weird it is that they treat their women equally.

I'm also a little confused. You say he's Ouerean, but his clan was a vassal to the Hegemony... Was this before the Hegemony seized Ouerea? That was pretty recent.

In a more broad conclusion: This background needs a lot of work if it's going to get a pass by me. If you have something so anti-establishment (in terms of the Unathi) it needs to be riddled with enough problems to make it believable. A Theocracy run by a church worshipping a divine spare tire can't suddenly sprout up in the Midwestern United States and not give people whiplash in how fast they double-take, and that's basically the same level of strange as democratic Unathi under Roman consuls with suffrage.

The Character Himsssself

Five year old's generally aren't very receptive to medical textbooks or vocational training. I'd also like to know how the decision to leave his clan and join the Sol Alliance Navy affected him, because it's very poor form at best (and dishonorable at worst) to serve in a military outside the Hegemony, if he was a loyal subject to it. It's fine if it wasn't, but 'breaking ties' is a very big deal to Unathi. Even if they break the mold as characters, there's still the expectation that they grow or regress emotionally from it, or something like that.


I can't see Unathi being blue. Could you send me a screenshot of the color you have in mind? They're meant to be "earth" toned. I've let a few rare albino Unathi slip by, (there's been only 2 I remember), but I don't know about blue.

There's also the problem that he joined this navy when he was 16. That's really too young; you have to be at least over 18 to sign up. It's a small thing, but some small things are still important.

I'll give you some time to rework this application and create a more consistent character that follows the guidelines and expectations I outlined before I come to a conclusion. As it stands, this application is denied until my concerns are addressed. I really want to accept your application, though, we just need some dialogue to help you get it up in good shape. :)

I hope you feel better and recover swiftly!

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Guest Marlon Phoenix

Rather than have you edit it and bump, I'm going to lock this and ask that you reapply for the sake of posterity and being able to have a concrete time of when your editing is finished for a new application. It's going to be under denied for formalities' sake but you are free to reapply literally whenever. This is mostly because between work and classes I totally forgot this existed because there's been no new posts. :oops:

I don't remember if you can use the 'edit' menu for locked posts. If you want a copy of the OP with the formatting included you can PM me and I'll send you over a copy.

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