AWPen Posted June 14, 2016 Share Posted June 14, 2016 (edited) BYOND Key: AWPenheimer Character Names:Wolfgang Kapp, Alexandra Kapp, Assim Zhan-Ka'tor'ro Species you are applying to play: IPC. What color do you plan on making your first alien character (Dionaea & IPCs exempt): N/A IPC Have you read our lore section's page on this species?: Indeed I have. Please provide well articulated answers to the following questions in a paragraph format. One paragraph minimum per question Why do you wish to play this specific race: I wish to play IPC's due to the way some of them behave and act. Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human:Well for one they don't always act like humans due to the fact they are designed for specific purposes. Character Name: Saul Please provide a short backstory for this character, approximately 2 paragraphs A long time ago. Saul was a simple criminal, selling all manner of drugs and narcotics to get by in his daily life, not to the mention the occasional murder. Okay so maybe he killed quite a few people but does that matter? It only slightly shows through now he is a unbound model. Kinda... Okay it shows a lot. He took no notice of the news, on how many laws could now be punished by removal of the brain and integration with a IPC. He had no idea what was to happen to him. One day, a day like most others. He was caught with enough illegal material on him to be arrested. He tried to bribe off the officers like he normally did but instead he got a cold reply, 'We have to crack down Saul, I'm sorry'. He had no idea what was to happen. He spent a year in a prison on sol before he was taken away to the brand new mars colonies. Due to the lack of workers prisoners where being integrated with IPCs, and he was one of them. They tore him brain from him and integrated him into a basic designed line model, he would not stay this way forever but that was how he is now. He spent many gruelling gears, unable to control his own thoughts slaving away for his bosses, building, creating and doing whatever. Eventually news spread that all the current IPCs where to be released, he knew that meant he would be shut down, probably for good. Even bound he was a eccentric one, speaking in a strong British accent making all sort of strange remarks. However, he had a plan. He had heard of a new place being built, a sanctuary, a place where synthetics could live in peace... unbound. He following the rumours, the quest to find 'Purpose'. After many years of searching he found it. He was free'd and helped pioneer the station into construction. He was placed into a new design model, a bespoke one he customised himself. He lived many years here. His modifications gave him a rusty look, being engraved with gold patterns of all sorts. He has a molecule mounted to his face and he holds a long black cane and walks with a ridiculous bounce in his step. Almost comparable to a pimp, he's very eccentric and could be compared to a pimp. However, he has a heart of gold and always try to do the best for everyone, he's funny and lovable. He's always joking about and doing his best to get a good vibe going in the crew, even if he can't understand or feel it. After many years he thought he could do something more to make his mark, and this is where he can be found today, working the science department, as a scientist on board the station. What do you like about this character? I like is over the top eccentric nature. It seems really fun to play. How would you rate your role-playing ability? I like to think I can role play quite well and fit in effectively with the other players. Notes: If I need to add anything in particular or this will suffice please do say. Any fixs needed do say. Edited June 16, 2016 by Guest Link to comment
ArcBot Posted June 14, 2016 Share Posted June 14, 2016 You are applying for head of staff as well, but didn't answer some of the questions that are required in its format. "How long have you been playing on Aurora?" etc. I see this only being an effective IPC application. Link to comment
AWPen Posted June 14, 2016 Author Share Posted June 14, 2016 I'll fix it as soon as possible Link to comment
AWPen Posted June 14, 2016 Author Share Posted June 14, 2016 I apologise for any typing errors I did the head section on my phone. Link to comment
DatBerry Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 Why would nanotrasen hire a rouge IPC that ran off on its own even after it was slaved into a line model? Why did it make the jump from engineering to science? If it was enslaved as a line model, how did it escape? Why would nanotrasen hire a ex convict as a research director on a expensive space station? Ive only observed your characters a little, but your roleplay seemed a bit underwhelming at times, we've recently had a wave of bad IPCs and this character just seems like another one of them :/ Im holding judgement till my questions are answered, but im leaning towards -1 Edit: heads of staff needs its own application, species and head apps are done by two different teams. Link to comment
AWPen Posted June 15, 2016 Author Share Posted June 15, 2016 He wasn't really rogue. He sort of drifted away when him and the others where no longer needed. And from many many years of not a lot of maintenance his mind and such began to fade and blur so to speak. So he never really became rogue but when the thousands of models became no longer needed he simple just drifted away. As said his strange personallity isn't from being rogue but from his past life and mind slipping through years of unfixed errors and codes. But I respect your criticism, thanks for the tips, I'll try create more memorable characters. Link to comment
AWPen Posted June 15, 2016 Author Share Posted June 15, 2016 Fixed the head bit seeing as they cannot be done together. Link to comment
rrrrrr Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 I think you'll have to tone Saul down a bit! The concept of an ex-criminal IPC is very interesting and I'm not opposed to it, but from what I can tell a drug dealing murderer would have their memories completely erased. They'd be a blank slate, so in a way - no more Saul (sort of). From what I can tell your character's background as a murderer doesn't really seem to show up much aside from jokingly threatening to kill people. That's not really okay. Your character could get fired for that, you know! Verdict, I'm totally for Saul if you tone it down a little. Not too long about getting shoved into a synthetic body and being shipped off to Mars was a pretty common punishment. So common, in fact, that your character could JUST be a wheeling and dealing pimp. It's 3:55 AM and I don't know how my life led to this point. Please help. Link to comment
AWPen Posted June 16, 2016 Author Share Posted June 16, 2016 Yeah I'll totally tone him down from the murder stuff no problem. I just wanted it to be a reason for being eccentric. I'll rewrite it when I can and just keep the pimp part, coming from the years of mal maintenance EDIT Changed out that murder part as asked! Link to comment
Guest Marlon Phoenix Posted June 19, 2016 Share Posted June 19, 2016 Hello! Sorry for the delay. This application really shows a more bizarre character model for an IPC than I've seen in awhile. I don't feel that being a murderer is the only reason that someone can become eccentric. Pimps also a manager for prostitutes, not a fashion sense. I don't know how stereotypical pimps dress and I did not want to use vague memories of watching The Boondocks adult swim show to judge an application so I googled it. I don't know if dressing like this would be appreciated by staff or by Nanotrasen IC. Combined with the British accent and 'strange remarks' it all adds up to really going beyond the threshold for eccentricity that we are lenient with for IPCs. Like rrrr said, a criminal ex-convict trapped in the body of an IPC to repay his debt to society is a concept that's super groovy, but we have to keep in mind that our character needs to also be able to pass a job application interview and psychological exam. There is a really good nugget of a character here and I really appreciate where you are trying to go with him, but as I said it's got a lot of extra additions to the personality and backstory that, while individually they can be looked over, when you combine them all it just becomes a little bit too much. This application is going to be declined; I encourage you to reapply in the future! Link to comment
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