[Denied] Chuckachu's Application for Vaurca Worker

[chuckachu]

BYOND Key: Chuckachu

Character Names: Ka'Viax'Arcee Zo'ra

Species you are applying to play: Vaurca

What color do you plan on making your first alien character (Dionaea & IPCs exempt): Dark red, or Crimson

Have you read our lore section's page on this species?: Yes and bookmarked it.

---

---

Please provide well articulated answers to the following questions in a paragraph format. One paragraph minimum per question

Why do you wish to play this specific race:

I enjoy helping folks. I tend to play as PAIs or drones as a break from the more strenuous jobs on servers. I think playing as a childhood favorite insect that is very similar to a borg except for actually being alive would be of great fun. The varuca also seem a great amount of fun as they have the hive mind. I'm wanting to start as a bound to simply shift over from being a borg miner to a living miner. Well that is unless I'm ordered to do something else.

Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human:

Well besides the hive speech there is the fact you are a big old ant that wants to make his current hive have the best of whatever the last thing was told to either build or harvest. I could see easily reason to make a xenobotanist, Botanist, Shaft Miner or just science assistant which is basically what a Xenobotanist is. It was a coin flip between bound and unbound but I'd like to try bound out first to get a feel for them.

 

---

---

Character Name: Ka'Viax'Arcee Zo'ra

Please provide a short backstory for this character, approximately 2 paragraphs

Ka'Viax'Arcee Zo'ra is from the third hatching creche by the fifth lesser queen. After her binding she was marked for Aurora station something of a reward in a way due to it being the station that the Zo'ra first achieved contact with humans. She does however have a peculiar scar on her lower thorax from a Goliath she tangled with on her first mining expedition. She is a diligent worker like most of her kind though she seems to be unusually devoted to digging through the earth likely a genetic throw back to their races early origins on their homeplanet.

Since Ka'Viax'Arcee Zo'ra has been on the Aurora she has dug out four separate asteroids and has been put in the medbay over sixteen times by other non-human creatures that have appeared on board. But with a little rest in the medbay and some K'ois paste and off she goes again. She's found that if she hurries to the mining station the other non-humans enjoy the fruits of her labor and don't harras her, just like a real hive. Maybe one day she will be Ka'Viax'Arcee Aurora.

((Use of the word she or he is used instead of the word IT being used.))

What do you like about this character?

The idea of a worker ant digging through alien ground is rather amusing to me. Plus I would be a freaking space ant!

How would you rate your role-playing ability? I'm pretty average. There are times where I forget to pain roleplay though.

---

---

Notes:

Edited January 15, 2017 by Guest

[LordFowl]

BYOND Key: Chuckachu

Character Names: Ka'Viax'Arcee Zo'ra

Species you are applying to play: Vaurca

What color do you plan on making your first alien character (Dionaea & IPCs exempt): Dark red, or Crimson

Have you read our lore section's page on this species?: Yes and bookmarked it.

---

---

Please provide well articulated answers to the following questions in a paragraph format. One paragraph minimum per question

Why do you wish to play this specific race:

I enjoy helping folks. I tend to play as PAIs or drones as a break from the more strenuous jobs on servers. I think playing as a childhood favorite insect that is very similar to a borg except for actually being alive would be of great fun. The varuca also seem a great amount of fun as they have the hive mind. I'm wanting to start as a bound to simply shift over from being a borg miner to a living miner. Well that is unless I'm ordered to do something else.

Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human:

I'm not really sure yet but I'd imagine it the idea of near guaranteed cooperation. I know that if I play a human that means he isn't obligated or even expected to help. But when playing this race you'd have to act near manic to help if ordered to by a unbound. I think normally during a round it wouldn't be much different outside of EVA abilities but there would sure be people that would RP being terrified if he was ordered to be hostile.

---

---

Character Name: Ka'Viax'Arcee Zo'ra

Please provide a short backstory for this character, approximately 2 paragraphs

Ka'Viax'Arcee Zo'ra's very old. She remembers when the great colony ship of the Zo'ra was practically empty compared to the massive hulk it is now. She remembers how its hull gleamed and twinkled against the backdrop of countless suns. But what she also remembers the binding of countless Vaurca, and when they died removing their implants for the next Vaurca to use. She tried to join them by being the only bound to always volunteer to gather supplies on planets and asteroids in the colony ships path. Yet she remains.

Then there was these soft shelled creatures that fought back when the Varuca try to harvest them. Then one of Unbound realized they could talk and Ka'Viax'Arcee Zo'ra was given to some of them to experiment on and teach her to talk back without their technology. They took a long time and Ka'Viax'Arcee Zo'ra almost died several times as they poked about inside her. But they found a way and dropped her off on a station and taught the unbound what they had learned about Ka'Viax'Arcee Zo'ra. She's been on the back end of nowhere since then mining every asteroid the station came across.

What do you like about this character?

The idea of a worker ant digging through alien ground is rather amusing to me. Plus I would be a freaking space ant!

How would you rate your role-playing ability? I'm pretty average. There are times where I forget to pain roleplay though.

---

---

Notes:

This application has a few issues, namely;

I'm not really sure yet but I'd imagine it the idea of near guaranteed cooperation. I know that if I play a human that means he isn't obligated or even expected to help. But when playing this race you'd have to act near manic to help if ordered to by a unbound. I think normally during a round it wouldn't be much different outside of EVA abilities but there would sure be people that would RP being terrified if he was ordered to be hostile.

Too many applications waste effort by elaborating on a single difference between the one race and humanity, and for Vaurcae it tends to be this exact reason provided every instance the question is asked. It is far more impressive if you diversify your answer while still maintaining an air of individual knowledge on the topic, without sounding like you're quoting the wiki verbatim.

Following this, the actual backstory displays at best a clumsy understanding of the lore, and would really do better if it was reigned in a little:

Ka'Viax'Arcee Zo'ra's very old. She remembers when the great colony ship of the Zo'ra was practically empty compared to the massive hulk it is now. She remembers how its hull gleamed and twinkled against the backdrop of countless suns.

 

While Bound Vaurca can technically live forever, the likelihood of such a creature existing now due to the impoverished situation in Vaurcae is rather unlikely, especially for a basic drone. Furthermore, your character seems to have a bit too much individuality for a lobotomised drone. Why are these memories important enough to their work to remember? The commentary about the Zo'rane arkship being empty is also a bit strange. Finally, all playable Vaurcae are neutered, and a Bound would have no reason to assume a gender, although an Unbound may. A minor nitpick, but noticeable nonetheless.

 

But what she also remembers the binding of countless Vaurca, and when they died removing their implants for the next Vaurca to use. She tried to join them by being the only bound to always volunteer to gather supplies on planets and asteroids in the colony ships path. Yet she remains.

 

While it is unlikely that your character remembers the Zo'ra hiveship as it left Sedantis, I am going to say that it is outright impossible for her to remember the binding of the drones. While there is no specific date for this mentioned, the wiki states that it had occurred by 50 CE. Recollecting this event would make your character at least ~2,500 years old. By the time of the binding of the drones, all drones were lobotomized. While they were historically probably rebellions, the lobotomization of the Bound was designed to combat this, and did so effectively. Thus it is unnecessary for your character to display such a plucky, can-do attitude in contrast to their fellow bound - that they work is a given.

From the above passage I really advise you reconsider applying as a Bound. You can still be a manual grunt as an Unbound, but your character has far too much individuality to classify themselves as a Bound - remember that Bounds are lobotomized.

Continuing right on.

 

Then there was these soft shelled creatures that fought back when the Varuca try to harvest them. Then one of Unbound realized they could talk ...

 

This paragraph displays a sort of shaky understanding of first contact between the Zo'ra and humanity. First of all the use of the word "harvest" puts me at unease, as it connotates that the Vaurcae abducted humans for research or wealth, and only stopped when they realised humans were intelligent, which is completely untrue. I advise that you heavily re-read the first contact passage in the wiki, because at best this paragraph displays a tenuous understanding.

 

... and Ka'Viax'Arcee Zo'ra was given to some of them to experiment on and teach her to talk back without their technology. They took a long time and Ka'Viax'Arcee Zo'ra almost died several times as they poked about inside her. But they found a way and dropped her off on a station and taught the unbound what they had learned about Ka'Viax'Arcee Zo'ra.

A minor nitpick again - TCB implants for Vaurcae were developed by the Vaurca, and not by humanity. I don't know why humanity would need to teach the Unbound what they learned from your character by dissecting them, either.

Altogether, this application is tenuous at best, and really could do with some serious revisions. Please notify me by quoting me on this thread when you have performed these revisions.

[chuckachu]

Edits made

[LordFowl]

BYOND Key: Chuckachu

Character Names: Ka'Viax'Arcee Zo'ra

Species you are applying to play: Vaurca

What color do you plan on making your first alien character (Dionaea & IPCs exempt): Dark red, or Crimson

Have you read our lore section's page on this species?: Yes and bookmarked it.

---

---

Please provide well articulated answers to the following questions in a paragraph format. One paragraph minimum per question

Why do you wish to play this specific race:

I enjoy helping folks. I tend to play as PAIs or drones as a break from the more strenuous jobs on servers. I think playing as a childhood favorite insect that is very similar to a borg except for actually being alive would be of great fun. The varuca also seem a great amount of fun as they have the hive mind. I'm wanting to start as a bound to simply shift over from being a borg miner to a living miner. Well that is unless I'm ordered to do something else.

Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human:

Well besides the hive speech there is the fact you are a big old ant that wants to make his current hive have the best of whatever the last thing was told to either build or harvest. I could see easily reason to make a xenobotanist, Botanist, Shaft Miner or just science assistant which is basically what a Xenobotanist is. It was a coin flip between bound and unbound but I'd like to try bound out first to get a feel for them.

 

---

---

Character Name: Ka'Viax'Arcee Zo'ra

Please provide a short backstory for this character, approximately 2 paragraphs

Ka'Viax'Arcee Zo'ra is from the third hatching creche by the fifth lesser queen. After her binding she was marked for Aurora station something of a reward in a way due to it being the station that the Zo'ra first achieved contact with humans. She does however have a peculiar scar on her lower thorax from a Goliath she tangled with on her first mining expedition. She is a diligent worker like most of her kind though she seems to be unusually devoted to digging through the earth likely a genetic throw back to their races early origins on their homeplanet.

Since Ka'Viax'Arcee Zo'ra has been on the Aurora she has dug out four separate asteroids and has been put in the medbay over sixteen times by other non-human creatures that have appeared on board. But with a little rest in the medbay and some K'ois paste and off she goes again. She's found that if she hurries to the mining station the other non-humans enjoy the fruits of her labor and don't harras her, just like a real hive. Maybe one day she will be Ka'Viax'Arcee Aurora.

 

((Use of the word she or he is used instead of the word IT being used.))

What do you like about this character?

The idea of a worker ant digging through alien ground is rather amusing to me. Plus I would be a freaking space ant!

How would you rate your role-playing ability? I'm pretty average. There are times where I forget to pain roleplay though.

---

---

Notes:

 

I apologize for not getting to this sooner, it appeared to fly under the radar.

In excising the flawed elements of the previous application you really have failed to replace them adequately, and this will be difficult for you. It is extremely difficult for you to apply as a Bound Vaurcae while simultaneously meeting the expectations of a whitelist application. I would at this point highly recommending applying as an Unbound Vaurcae simply to demonstrate your ability to actually create a character based off of Vaurcae lore. Please note that you are in no way obliged to play as the character you apply with, but it is my expectation that anyone with a Vaurcae whitelist should be capable of roleplaying Bound or Unbound equally well, and ultimately it is the Unbound that proves more difficult, due to the amount of lore intricacy that must be kept in mind.

Regarding the application specifically;

After her binding she was marked for Aurora station something of a reward in a way due to it being the station that the Zo'ra first achieved contact with humans. She does however have a peculiar scar on her lower thorax from a Goliath she tangled with on her first mining expedition.

Please note that the station is the NSS Exodus, currently. Furthermore, the asteroids that are mined out have no Goliaths, or any hostile xenofauna currently, and as Vaurcae do not self-heal due to their external carapace, they would not scar. There would either be a gash there, which means you are permanently wounded, or it would've been medically healed or otherwise repaired, excluding the possibility of a scar.

 

Since Ka'Viax'Arcee Zo'ra has been on the Aurora she has dug out four separate asteroids and has been put in the medbay over sixteen times by other non-human creatures that have appeared on board.

I presume you don't mean you dug out all four asteroids alone? That would be preposterous. The mention of sixteen other creatures "appearing" on-board is also rather dubious, as well as pointlessly vague.

 

Maybe one day she will be Ka'Viax'Arcee Aurora.

I should sincerely hope that your character does not actually think like this. It would be taboo for an Unbound Vaurcae to even entertain the idea of forming their own hive, much less rendering themselves subservient to humanity in the same hive relationship as they have for their queen. Any Vaurcae that thought like this would be terminated, and it simply wouldn't happen - Vaurcae are bound by loyalty to their queen.

While severely unlikely for an Unbound, to the point where I wouldn't allow such a character, I'm going to say its explicitly impossible for a Bound. Again, they are lobotomized and perfectly loyal.

In summary, I would again sincerely recommend you consider applying as an Unbound, simply because Unbound can display a vast array of character qualities in a single application that allows the demonstration of a more comprehensive understanding of the lore than a Bound does, and is thus easier, provided you understand the source material. Remember again that you are not obliged to play as the character you apply as, and following your acceptance you would be free to play Bound or Unbound as you please.

[chuckachu]

Thanks for replying. I've offically spent mroe time trying to rethink this than I've had time to even play the game recently. Go ahead and wipe the app, I'm a casual player and the level of work needed to play a snowflake race during most rounds of how quick can someone blow you up really isn't worth it. I appreciate ALOT you actually giving me feedback and I'll likely reapply in the future but the effort its taken for both of us to write all that we have has all but removed the original joy I thought this character would bring to my mind. Love the server and all but we've spent far to much time on this process already. Please deleted the thread.