TG_Griffin Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 (edited) BYOND Key: TG_Griffin Character Names: Alan Griffiths (Surgeon, doctor and medical staff) Sparky (Occasional AI and Borg) Cyrus Malin (Robotics expert) Species you are applying to play: Unathi What color do you plan on making your first alien character (Dionaea & IPCs exempt): Mossy Green Have you read our lore section's page on this species?: I have read both the lore and history on the Unathi. Please provide well articulated answers to the following questions in a paragraph format. One paragraph minimum per question Why do you wish to play this specific race: One of my main motivations for wanting to play as an Unathi is their concept. I have a big love for reptilian races in fantasy and si-fi. I find most of them to have their own quirks that are completely different and even backwards. This is what caught my eye, however once I looked into and read up on the Unathi many of the things I read garnered my interest farther. For example their social structure, either on Moghes or Ouere, the feudal system of clans, likes hates and culture and even down to their dietary preferences each of these aspects of the race have drawn me in and made me wish to give them a go. Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human: For one, it's the large cultural difference between the Unathi and human race. While the humans have adopted modern concepts of governance, such as democracy, the Unathi's home world of Moghes runs off a feudal system that is similar to how ancient humans used to govern their lands and property. With a society of various lords, clans and guilds holding power. Another big difference between the modern Human and Unathi is their moral code. Unathi have a strict honour code based around combat, and as such they view ranged weapons with distaste, again much like medieval Human knights viewed the crossbow. One final note that defines the Unathi from the Human race is their view on women and mannerisms. The certain social cues such as the tail flick, or the submissive neck bearing as a show of trust and other displays that humans lack. Character Name: Crox Guwan (Formally Crox Hishtalin) Please provide a short backstory for this character, approximately 2 paragraphs Crox hails from what's now known as the wasteland. His clan, pre-wasteland fished and hunted the mountains between Res'karum and Mudki. His life as a young male was simple and unassuming. Richly embedded in Unathi feudal culture he was a hunter and fisher, bringing in the riches of the land to feed his tribe. Growing up life was tough, his clan lacked many of the modern luxuriates that were beginning to circulate much of Moghes, and being on the fringe of industry Crox was many a time forced into unwanted labour under a guild due to a debt his clan owed them. Through this forced service he began to grow bitter towards traditions, and the clan for being unable to sustain themselves without the aid of the guild. Being in a lower class and distant area of Moghes, Crox only heard about the shuttle disaster many days after it had happened. He was a secret supporter of the project and the disappointment he felt at its failure was evident to his fellow clansmen, while they in turn only felt outrage at this clear disrespect of tradition. Crox's disappointment changed to adulation, as the Humans and Skrell offered and gave assistance to his race to build a new and better rocket. He would spend many free moments secreting a glance at the sky and wondering how such a device would come together, and if the freedom it would give could change the lives of not only himself, but many people who suffer through life at the bottom. The beginning of the contact war was a turning point for Crox, his clan being close to where the initial fighting broke out were expected to fight, as fierce loyalists began to threaten the clan should they not send able bodied Unathi, their side was already picked. This put Crox into a slight internal crisis. As on one end, he was loyal to his clan and was obligated to fight with them, to join his fellow clansmen on the march to war, and on the other he lacked many of their views and was no supporter of the loyalist cause, he despised his current lifestyle, knowing he may be forced into a war would potentially destroy what progress towards a better life he had already built crushed him. Many of his fellow clansmen shared this view, they did not wan't to fight a war that the clan was being forced into and they knew it was only a matter of time before warriors were to be selected by the clans leader. So, they began to meet and discuss their options. Many thought they could convince the clans leader not to take part, to rebuff the threats from the loyalists, this was futile however, and many of those who tried were brutally beaten. This drove the group to other options, and under the cover of a cloudy night they attempted to escape. However, one member of their secret group was in fact a spy, and while there is no honour in stabbing an enemy in the back, there is less in abandoning your clan, the chief had set up an ambush that Crox and the other deserters ran straight into, and after a hopeless struggle with the guards, they were captured and brought before the clans leader. At first, it seemed they would all be executed, as the clan leader selected randomly from the group and proceeded to rip their throats out with his claws. This was to make a point, maybe even satisfy his anger at this betrayal, and Crox was indeed terrified, he wondered if this was all worth it, if he should fight for what he believes in or be aimless dragged along to fight for something bigger then tomorrows meal. This line of though was broken, in turn, the remaining surviving deserters were deemed unfit for even the battlefield, weak and cowardly. They were declared Guwan and banished from the clan, the chief spoke harshly of them, claiming they would not survive clan less for long. Shamed and humiliated, Crox followed the small group, all progress he had made to a better life crushed in an evening, and through the duration of the war and many cold nights he wondered if being killed by the chief would have been a better as he watched one he watched his fellow Guwan deserters fade away, whether falling due to a malignant force an ailment, or simply leaving the group, his group struggling to survive, to hunt and stay out of the fighting. His struggle growing as the war progressed, his group growing ever smaller. Crox forgot how long it had been since he was banished, day to day life had been reduced to finding the next meal, and his dream of a better life shattered completely, a dusty memory along the long road of suffering. Eventually, the remainder of his group came across a large trail of Unathi, it was a refugee group attempting to enter the untouched lands, compelled by the hope of leaving this blasted wasteland behind. He joined them, and through many days travel the long trail of refugees eventually arrived at a mountain range, scorched and barren on one side, however, through a small pass a spec of green. The small trail of refugees Crox was apart of slowly grew into a stream, as his group joined a larger group, which in turn joined an even larger group, eventually forming a large line of thousands of Unathi, seeking entrance into the greener lands. With hope renewed Crox moved with the crowd and eventually reaching the pass in the mountain and through a stroke of luck, was let through. Quickly settling down along with other refugees as they travelled towards Skalamar. Crox's favourable mood soured however, as once the group had reached Skalamar, his reputation as Guwan was all to known as some survivors from his, and other clans had also joined the refugees, or been present in the city when he arrived. Kicked into the gutter, tripped and spat on many times. He lived a life of odd jobs for the better part of two months, travelling the city. On a fair and hazy morning. He awoke to a somewhat hopeful sign, and a literal sign a Nanotrasen sign. Offering those down on their luck work and a better life. Sure, it was probably overblown propaganda on Nanotrasens part. But it worked, and a hopeful Crox flooded to the Nanotrasen company centre, where he promptly requested a position... and was promptly refused. Again and again, he attempted to join and he was refused, once again. Crox was down on his luck, devastated he considered taking his own life. A better alternative to how he had been living. He sullied himself, and once again attempted to get work with Nanotrasen, this time going into the centre with a bold and determined tone, firm gaze and unflinching posture. Somewhat impressive for slum dwelling Guwan, this garnered him attention and a position. At first he simply worked as a janitor with the Nanotrasen building itself, an easy month, though the pay wasn't great it was indeed a step up. Eventually the Nanotrasen building was to be expanded and moved, and his services as well, this time instead of being moved to the new building he was shipped off to space. Working various roles within various stations. Eventually joining the NSS Aurora, and undergoing various roles within it. Crox, through all his experiences is rather shaken. Due to his reputation as a Guwan he tends to keep his head down, especially around other Unathi. Focusing on his work more then anything and keeping social interaction to a minimum. While many do not trust Nanotransen, Crox is eternally grateful to them, as his old wish of a better life is slowly coming true since he joined the company. He is willing to work hard, and does so, life in the wasteland has taught him many valuable lessons, not to take things for granted, not to be wasteful and finally nothing comes to you if you don't work for it. What do you like about this character? Hes simple, yet tragic. While I was designing him, I found that his motives flowed together with the lore and how he became an employee under Nanotransen. His character is rich, and he has the ability to not only appear set in his ways, but to also think outside of tradition and towards a progressive and open mindset which grants me an amount of flexibility to develop him in many different directions as he is role-played. How would you rate your role-playing ability? While I have much experience role playing, Dungeons and dragons and World of Warcraft for example, however I believe I have much to learn. Out of ten I would rate: 8/10 Notes: I would love some constructive criticism on what I've written and ways to improve if any are seen! <3 Edited April 13, 2017 by Guest Link to comment
Fire and Glory Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 It's actually pretty hard for me to correctly write responses to this application, I keep having to rewrite my stuff because I keep seeing a new way to look at what you've written down, but I'll try at any rate. Apologies if anything I say seems a bit lazy, but by this point I feel like I shouldn't try to comprehend the thing too much lest I find out that the detailed analysis I make turns out to be working under yet another incorrect assumption. Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human:... With a society of various lords and clans holding all the power and the lower class citizens being treated as little more the peasants. Alright, so, I was going to say that I didn't really think that the lower class was treated particularly badly buuut...I think I see where you are coming from. So, for all I know, this is probably what it was like outside the Hegemony, there's not exactly any writing on what the non-Hegemony kingdoms were like so that is why I was confused. But I do believe that inside the Hegemony, things aren't really that bad for the lower classes, regarding treatment they get from those in a higher position, (unless you are the lowest class, Guwan.) I gathered that from the little things I've read and seen without there really being anything that actually says for or against, so mayhaps ask Jackboot about that somewhere. Those're my thoughts on the subject anyways. I do like the comparison you made about knights and crossbow's, by the way. Please provide a short backstory for this character, approximately 2 paragraphs As a quick observation, I think you could benefit from making your clan's affiliations a bit more obvious, it took me a bit longer then I care to admit to realize that they were probably subjugated or threatened as part of a non-Hegemony kingdom that fought in the Traditionalist Coalition, but maybe that is just me. I'll avoid getting too drawn into the thing and skip to the end instead, because I really am not confident in anything I know about those outside the Hegemony. This all came to moot point as he attempted to flea the clan under the cover of night with a group that shared his views, or simply wanted to avoid the inevitable fighting, many were caught and he was then named Guwan before being banished with many others of his clan. So, it's not written anywhere, but I believe that the act of officially denouncing a Unathi and titling them as a Guwan is really just an Izweski/Hegemony thing, and the clans outside the Hegemony deal with undesirables as however they personally see fit, from banishment to executing the guy because they're savages. But this is another thing I just gather from tidbits of information, so I suggest asking Jackboot about that. With no other choice, and no wish to fight in the growing war, he turned to NanoTransen, who offered him a chance at a new life.This feels a bit abrupt, and I'll show you something that actually is written down for once to say why. https://aurorastation.org/wiki/index.php?title=Notable_Unathi Don'zai Azarak... Knowing they had the only functioning spaceports and access to the greater galaxy, Don'zai sent repeated requests to the Izweski to have an Azarak representative sent to humanity and the skrell to speak for his Kingdom but each time he was rebuffed, with the Izweski taking on a patronizing and condescending attitude to his Kingdom. Nanotrasen and spaceports have no real presence outside the Izweski, so going to space with the big corporation doesn't really just happen if you're on the outside. Describing the process in which Crox enters the Hegemony (Traditionalists and refugees in general do cross over although my inexperience with that dictates that I don't really know how it works.), and ends up going to space would probably do you good, describing his new experiences with the advanced Hegemony and then the literally alien culture he encounters would probably do you better. Link to comment
TG_Griffin Posted April 11, 2017 Author Share Posted April 11, 2017 Thank you very much for the feedback, its appreciated! There is a slight lack in some information about clan treatment and other bits, at least from what I have read so some assumption was made. I'll get to work on touching up the parts you've pointed out. Thank you once again! Link to comment
Guest Marlon Phoenix Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 Hello! On the lower class Unathi, it's set that they live in an incredibly stratified society. https://aurorastation.org/wiki/index.php?title=Unathi_History#The_Modern_Economy What was true for this section of history is still thematically appropriate for the modern Hegemony, except perhaps made worse by the pround calamity of the Wasteland. Non-Hegemon areas of Moghes are intentionally left a vague haze. The planet was very diverse, and open for players to weave in their own reasonable interpretations. You can't make sweeping generalizations of all governments and society of the entire world, and neither can you for Moghes. On the character themselves, I appreciate that your character is embedded within the feudal society. His interpretations on obligations and personal honor made his dilemma during the war compelling - though it does make his choice to desert and abandon the entire thing a little off-putting. Since he's been named Guwan, he will have to have his last name actually be Crox Guwan - as a clanless Unathi he is an untouchable; the dirt beneath the bottom rung of the social ladder. How does he grapple with being Guwan? His whole life was one where he recognized his place and kept to it, and now he's thrown all that away. What sort of personality will he have on station? Link to comment
TG_Griffin Posted April 13, 2017 Author Share Posted April 13, 2017 I've made extensive edits and additions to my application based on the wonderful feedback you have both given me, thank you once again and I hope this settles many of the issues it had, please let me know if anything I've written catches your eye, there's always room for improvement! Link to comment
Guest Marlon Phoenix Posted April 15, 2017 Share Posted April 15, 2017 A very solid character and application; accepted! Link to comment
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