[Denied]ShadowGabe23's Tajara application

[ShadowGabe23]

BYOND Key: ShadowGabe23

Character Names:Ackin'on Ky'rat, Camila Garcia and Amy Colbain

Species you are applying to play: Zhan-Khazan Tajara

What colour do you plan on making your first alien character (Dionaea & IPCs exempt): Blue-Grey (RGB 34, 37, 50)

Have you read our lore section's page on this species?: Yes

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Please provide well articulated answers to the following questions in a paragraph format. One paragraph minimum per question

Why do you wish to play this specific race:

I wish to play this race as they are capable of a lot more role-play. They have such more interesting backgrounds and they seem to allow much more capacity for better and more interesting roleplay.

Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human:

Roleplaying with a Tajara is very different to a human as they can have different ways of having relationships with friends and people around the station. This lets the player be able to play their character in a much more different way than a human. They seem like an all round more interesting race to play.

Character Name: Salin'oni Avakir

Please provide a short backstory for this character, approximately 2 paragraphs

When Salin'oni was born her father was already dead and she was quite prone to feeling very cold on Adhomai, unlike her brother and most other of her species, her being in the state of constant cold and seemingly not fitting in told her that she did not belong where she was. So, without her mothers permission, she left and became a nomad, constantly moving, still not knowing where to go. Until she saw a poster to go to a space station to "Get a new life!". This poster almost inspiring her made her want to be part of this station. So she thought about what she had to do to get her onto that ship. Onto somewhere that might feel like home, for however long she is there. This is what inspired her to go onto a cadet ship, where she could learn to help others and not let people escape for whatever horrible things they had done.

She then went onto working in a CSI lab allowing her to become smarter in the field of tracking and finding a person, with the help of the tutors and equipment aboard the cadet ship. This allowed her to become a full CSI on a station called the Aurora.

What do you like about this character?

I like how she has originally started from nothing and has slowly grew into the smarter CSI she is now.

How would you rate your role-playing ability? I would give myself around a 7.5/10 as sometimes I can slip up on lore.

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Notes:

[Mofo1995]

BYOND Key: ShadowGabe23

Character Names:Ackin'on Ky'rat, Camila Garcia and Amy Colbain

Species you are applying to play: Zhan-Khazan Tajara

What colour do you plan on making your first alien character (Dionaea & IPCs exempt): Blue-Grey (RGB 34, 37, 50)

Have you read our lore section's page on this species?: Yes

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Please provide well articulated answers to the following questions in a paragraph format. One paragraph minimum per question

Why do you wish to play this specific race:

I wish to play this race as they are capable of a lot more role-play. They have such more interesting backgrounds and they seem to allow much more capacity for better and more interesting roleplay.

Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human:

Roleplaying with a Tajara is very different to a human as they can have different ways of having relationships with friends and people around the station. This lets the player be able to play their character in a much more different way than a human. They seem like an all round more interesting race to play.

Character Name: Salin'oni Avakir

Please provide a short backstory for this character, approximately 2 paragraphs

When Salin'oni was born her father was already dead and she was quite prone to feeling very cold on Adhomai, unlike her brother and most other of her species, her being in the state of constant cold and seemingly not fitting in told her that she did not belong where she was. So, without her mothers permission, she left and became a nomad, constantly moving, still not knowing where to go. Until she saw a poster to go to a space station to "Get a new life!". This poster almost inspiring her made her want to be part of this station. So she thought about what she had to do to get her onto that ship. Onto somewhere that might feel like home, for however long she is there. This is what inspired her to go onto a cadet ship, where she could learn to help others and not let people escape for whatever horrible things they had done.

She then went onto working in a CSI lab allowing her to become smarter in the field of tracking and finding a person, with the help of the tutors and equipment aboard the cadet ship. This allowed her to become a full CSI on a station called the Aurora.

What do you like about this character?

I like how she has originally started from nothing and has slowly grew into the smarter CSI she is now.

How would you rate your role-playing ability? I would give myself around a 7.5/10 as sometimes I can slip up on lore.

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Notes:

 

This application is very... sparse. There's not very much here which ties Avakir to Adhomai, or even the Tajaran race. The backstory really does nothing to incorporate our lore or to demonstrate knowledge and competency in the lore. If "Adhomai" is replaced with just about any other planet, the backstory would still fit, albeit possibly strangely given that being cold all the time is apparently a major plot point. There's nothing here which makes Salin'oni Avakir identifiable as a Tajaran. I also have issues with the idea that a nomad that just wondered into the wilderness one day could suddenly learn how to become a CSI, but the backstory gives no measurement of passage of time, so I can't really tell if it'd be believable or not.

I'm going to deny this application, and recommend if you're still interested in playing the race to draft up a new application. The point of the whitelisting process is to showcase understanding of the lore, so try to fit some of the themes in Tajaran lore into your backstory, or tie your Tajara to events in the species' history. Consider adding what faction they belonged to, if any. Maybe some aspects about the religions on the planet, or the culture.