Mofo1995

COMIC KHANS EDITION Where the horde, where the horde, where the horde at? Have that mongol in the cut, where the wood at? Oh, them chinese actin up?!? Where the horses at? You better BUILD THAT if you gon wall that Once a throat song, I come though, bows is drawn BLAM BLAM, lungs are gone, sons will mourn From dusk till dawn, nighttime belongs to the dog On the steppe passed midnight, look for 'em in the morgue Don't play with these cats cuz I ain't got nothin to say to these cats For the mothers that really do love em, please pray for these cats Cuz I know mongols is hardheaded but I ain't got the patience Don't want me havin no patience turn into more patience More trips to ICU cuz I see you Tryna get away with shit a real mongol wouldn't do Where my horses at? (RIGHT HERE) See them Tartars? (RIGHT WHERE?!?) GET EM BOY! (RIGHT THERE) That's how we do... (AIIGHT THEN) This is for my dogs, this is for my dogs YO, WHERE WE AT BABY?!? (CREEPIN THROUGH THE FOG) From then till now, don't ask me how Know that we gon gallop like them mongols and hit every block on the job Where the horde, where the horde, where the horde at? Have that mongol in the cut, where the wood at? Oh, them chinese actin up?!? Where the horses at? You better BUILD THAT if you gon wall that

Shuttle Crash in the Romanovich Cloud On 12.08.2461 at 13:25 standard time, the merchant vessel Rubinsky collided with the cruise ship Dreamland in the Romanovich Cloud. According to the flight recorder logs the escape pods of the merchant vessel have been ejected at 13:30. The captain of the cruise ship ordered an evacuation at 13:50 after the structural integrity rapidly decayed. An official investigation regarding the cause of the collision has been launched by the Biesel Transport Authority. Due to the immediate action of nearby vessels, most escape pods were recovered quickly. However, some were not caught and landed on a nearby asteroid which houses the Aurora Station, a Nanotrasen research installation. One of the survivors of this tragedy was Ms. Katt, a PR manager of a smart home startup on Luna, who traveled with her associates to Tau Ceti on a business trip. Our reporter, John Miller, managed to secure an exclusive interview with her, which can be found below. Suffice to say, that they were treated in the way that Aurora’s security forces are known for according to insider circles. As the first survivor managed to get inside of the station, gasping for air, she was "greeted" by a security officer. The officer "retrieved" her and steered her to a questioning room without ever getting a medical doctor to check her for any injuries she might have sustained. Even after she explained that she was a survivor of a nearby shuttle crash, they threatened to charge her and her associates that arrived on the station shortly after with trespassing. The crew of the Aurora never even sent out any search parties to check for any additional pods. Only after they managed to talk with the chief medical officer, things started to clear up. To quote Ms. Kate: "Security didn't care at all. They didn't try to find more emergency pods, they didn't care where we came from, all they wanted was "getting us into their system" and "being able to identify us". Just another day, I guess. Humanity is completely irrelevant for them, apparently." Mr. Pyres had the following to say about his treatment by the Aurora Crew: "After such a traumatic experience, and with only a handful of us alive, you'd think that whoever gave us sanctuary would be kind, hospitable, and understanding. Especially with a figure such as Chang Ling involved. Except, even at the unfortunate loss of our friend and colleague Romanos Huang, we were commanded to be processed like petty criminals instead of simply asking us like normal people who we were and for whom we worked. Only one officer had the basic decency and courtesy to accommodate us, but she was scolded for treating us like human beings. All because we simply couldn't have gathered our wallets with our identities during the meteor shower, and because we weren't in some manifest that Nanotrasen conjured." Mr. Chang offered us the following statement: "Nanotrasen's facility Aurora is the most backwater facility I've ever been to. When our cruise liner crashed, we were treated like criminals a few moments after coming aboard by thugs dressed in Security gear! The only real professional one there who knew what she was doing, was security cadet Erin Song and their Chief Medical Officer, Fernando Gonzales! The other officers just said we were technically trespassing and threatened to detain us, and they took a full hour to even get someone to talk to since their captain fell asleep on the job! The hospitality was terrible! Terrible! Interview between award-winning field journalist, John Miller, and small business owner Cindy Katt:

High effort lore posting

Not'zar Claims Delegates As Vassals; Si'akh Appears and Confronts Unzi The Convention of New Skalamar has entered a dramatic chapter as High Priest Unzi of the Sk’akh Church had a fierce and bitter confrontation with the radical doomsday heretic Juzida Si’akh that threw the entire day into disorder as the two engaged in a fierce debate that has redrawn the battle lines between the major religions of the Unathi people. When the day began Unzi himself joined the proceedings and stood at the front of the sizable Sk’akh delegation. Also present were the Th’akh shamans that made up the largest group, lead by Ouerean Clan-Mother Mortenga. They were debating the Ansiba delegation of Aut’akh, who were making headway in convincing the assembly of their compatible doctrines. The Si’akh delegation was a comparatively small team of two individuals; the representative from before who briefly spoke on matters and a new unidentified Sinta in a simple, brown hooded cloak who garnered no interest from the delegation. Not’zar Izweski oversaw the proceedings from an elevated seat at the head of the assembly. Unzi was dominating the talks, calmly undoing nearly all of the gains that the Ansiba had made with sweeping theological arguments about Sk’akh orthodoxy and its incompatibility with the “Aut’akh delusions”. However one of the final statements Unzi made to the Aut’akh was the preamble of the day’s trouble. The hooded figure with the Si’akh delegate stood upright and lowered his hood, revealing himself to be Juzida Si’akh; the leader of the Si’akh Heresy. He stood out before the dumbfounded collection of delegates and pointed accusingly at Unzi. The Sk’akh delegates exploded into shouts of heresy, filling the entire chamber. Unzi took a step forward and held up a hand to silence his followers. He did not address Si’akh, but the Lord-Regent, speaking in a calm voice despite his visible trembling betraying his rage.. Not’zar Izweski tapped his cane against the floor and then used it to rise to address the room. Si’akh spoke up again, gesticulating wildly and pacing the room as Unzi stared at him in silence. High Priest Unzi spoke next, clearly strained. He then refused to engage with Si’akh further, no matter how much the firebrand preacher goaded him with theological and personal attacks. He spent the next hour of the delegation staring at Not’zar Izweski, who tried to guide the discussion as Si’akh hijacked nearly every moment. The firebrand preacher addressed the unhappy Ansiba in the room, and spared them none of his scorn. The Ansiba responded quickly, trying to preempt any interruption by Si’akh. Si’akh shook his head and withdrew from the discussion, returning to his side of the floor. The discussions continued with an incredible tension apparent to all present. At the end of it the Sk’akh and Si’akh remained irreconcilable, and both continued to sustain hostility towards the Aut’akh delegates. The Th’akh delegation itself was split, with the Ouerean shamans being curious and open to the Aut’akh while the traditional Moghean shamans shied away from engaging with them. At the end of the day Not’zar announced that the convention would be ending for the day, and he rose to thank the delegates for attending. The groups exited outside to a huge crowd of on-lookers behind barricades. Unzi lead the way and refused to respond to any journalists. Si’akh was seen leaving, draped in his hood once more. This was the first, and perhaps the last time that the two have met face to face. Not’zar Izweski exited last and spoke before the people. Many of the Lords of Moghes and Chiefs of Ouerea remain divided along ideological and religious lines, but many have shied away from direct commentary. They say they are waiting for the final day of the convention, in which Not'zar will announce direct decrees in response to the results of the convention.

Hello! I've spent a ton of time the past week interviewing a lot of people to get a full picture of your behavior and activity. Two items stood out like sore thumbs: 1. Excellent creativity, strong activity, and good writing. 2. Concerns about behavior. In the past, I denied Lord Fowl for the position of skrell developer because of this exact same combination of circumstances. And much like with Fowl, I feel that you and I get along swimmingly despite the issues others have. I am willing to let Pegasus bring you onto the human lore team. For one, a deputy position is inherently lower risk than a full developer position. And for two, I sincerely believe that your behavior has improved in the past two months. But concerns are still present, so we have to address the elephant in the room. In the past when you were assigned a warning, a situation which would end up in your resignation, I had agreed with Jackboot to give you that warning. Despite the faults in lore team management, your attitude was a serious problem and I feel it contributed heavily to galvanizing the lore team. I know you were in a frustrating situation, but I need you to acknowledge the wrongdoing of your attitude issues in the past and formally promise to do better. Once this is done, I'm willing to bring you onto the team, but if Pegasus and I feel that you're too aggressive afterwards, we may consider reversing that decision. I'll level with you, that the reason for coming to this has been because in my many interviews in the past week, I've received a ton of warnings about you. But I am willing to move forward and bring you on despite this because I seriously believe in you and in my minds eye I can see the lore team being a much better place for having you on board. Once this is addressed, I would be happy to have you with us again.

Asl?

PRA Driven from Harr'masir Continent 20.07.2461 After a long hard fought battle, forces of the Grand Peoples Army on the Harr'masir continent finally surrendered to His Majesty's Imperial Army following the conquest of Olska. All military conflict on the continent and on the Kingdom's borders have ceased, as we now share a border only with the Democratic People's Republic of Adhomai to the south, who enjoy a ceasefire with our nation. For the first time in over 10 years, save for the temporary 24 hour ceasefire of the 45th Holy Council of Sana Sahira, the guns fell silent. The farmers stepped out of their houses and looked upon the crater-marred fields and could rest knowing it would one day be just a memory. The factory workers in the humming cities could attend work and could relax during air raid drills, knowing they would no longer have to clear the brick and debris of their workplaces to rescue their coworkers. Mothers will now look upon their infant children, and know that they will not have to flee from invading armies. The Kingdom in its entirety now releases a breath of air, praising the security of its borders, while victory parades fill every street. The new peace came at a price, however. For the past two months, the Imperial Army had to contend with those who had successfully withdrew to Olska and dug in their defenses. While optimism began strong with the knowledge that the Republican Forces who had escaped encirclement were primarily raw recruits and reservists, they proved to be tenacious and brave. As the Kingdom's forces which had won a resounding victory at Baltor approached around the western flank of Zarragh Lake, they came into contact with the People's Republic's first line of defense along the wooded areas and rivers, turning the front line into a bottle neck for advancing soldiers. While the first line was pushed back, a second and better fortified line lied behind it using natural barriers to its advantage. Marines who attempted to flank the enemy on the lake were in for a harsh surprise, as the defenders took care to deploy their reserves along the coastlines, learning from previous blunders. Even as the second line of defense was finally overcome, a third even better line of defense with concrete bunkers supporting the trench works lied behind it. Advances ground to a halt, and submarine hunting packs began to push back the Royal Navy on the flank close to the sea. Imperial High Command made the tough decision to have the Alam'ardii facing the Republican forces to dig in themselves, as the reserves were pulled from the front for a new operation. On the Eastern flanks of the Zarragh Lake lied the long way around to reaching Olska. Here the front was far wider, and the terrain flatter and filled with verdant farmlands. Here the Grand People's Army had a thin defensive line, but had amassed all remaining armored divisions and motor rifle divisions. The Imperial Army fought a losing battle here while the western front's attempt at a knockout blow was ground to a halt. Taking full advantage of their mobility, and receiving fuel shipments from across the Nas'kin Ocean, they began to push our armies back and threatened to sweep around the lake and encircle our tajara. Redeployment of reserves from the western front were not expected to stop them in time. At an emergency meeting of Imperial High Command, general consensus was to beseech the Adhomai Liberation Army for aid, but suddenly King of the Mountains, Rustam Harmaliik entered and rose his voice. Claiming that seeking help from the Adhomai Liberation Army would be a sign of weakness and fearing they would use military aid as leverage in the future, he personally promised to save the Imperial Army. He then left immediately for the eastern front with all of his forces. Rustam Harmalik's promise would ultimately be fulfilled, as nomadic caravans in the area turned to the wilderness and turned their wagons into refuges for guerrilla warfare. Shipments of fuel and supplies to the mobile divisions of the Republican Army came under constant raids, and supply ships arriving at ports were frequently ambushed and sunk in harbor. Soon Rustam's forces arrived after a long forced march, fanning out and slipping through the thin Republican line into the countryside, pillaging all manner of supply depots and convoys. While some caravans fell prey to armored assaults and counter insurgency raids, they typically made good use of their wilderness survival abilities to elude patrols, and their nomadic lifestyles to avoid staying in the same places for too long. Soon, the tanks and personnel carries of the Republican Army began to decorate the fields as nothing more than stationary metal pillboxes, as fuel supplies became increasingly strained. Soon after, the redeployment of Imperial reserve forces was completed, and one by one, the vehicles were abandoned or destroyed. The push in the east became a trivial matter, and the defenders at Olska found themselves shifting forces to prepare for a pincer attack from the east. As His Majesty's armies made one final offensive against Olska from the north and east, the Republican defenders fought with extreme ferocity for the first few days, but no longer had the defense in depth which had withheld our mighty advances. Once their forward positions were overwhelmed, retreat to the city and its urban areas was disorderly, and many were overrun and surrendered. As the defenders settled in for a grueling urban defense, cut off from all retreat, King Azunja made a plea for their surrender lest countless lives of young tajara be needlessly lost. To everyone's surprise, the surviving generals of the Republic's Harr'masir Military District offered unconditional surrender, stating that they would rather surrender themselves to the "noble imperialists" in the north than risk capture by the "savage rebels" to the south. All across the city, their soldiers laid the rifles on the ground, and allowed the Imperial Army to enter the city in victory. As the borders of the New Kingdom met the borders of the Democratic People's Republic, soldiers of both sides embraced and cheered in victory. Former enemies gathered in each other's camps and celebrated the defeat of the People's Republic in the theater. Soldiers sang traditional folk songs together and danced by the camp fires, with rations of vodka and victory gin supplied to every unit at the expense of the King's personal treasury. At a meeting in Olska, the pictures of which now fill every newspaper, King Azunja met with President Harlala and Halkiikijr Nated'Hakhan, where they embraced and smoked cigars, sharing a bottle of champagne. The war however, is not yet over. The meeting in Olska soon became the Conference of Olska as Imperial High Command met the Mrrazhakulii of the Adhomai Liberation Army. While there is now peace in our land, the People's Republic of Adhomai remains a transparent threat to tajara everywhere with their vile Hadiist communism. Despite all the celebrations, top military officials are planning now to end the war of our time, the scar which will forever afflict our people, once and for all. To ensure a bomber never again terrorizes the safety of our homes, and a hostile army never again lies at our borders, the Kingdom, hand in hand with the Democratic People's Republic, now prepare for the final act in the greatest tragedy of our people. Do not lose hope, do not give into evil, and always have faith. For the armies of the New Kingdom are the Holy Sword of the Gods who will pass judgement, and work justice on those responsible for 40 years of oppression. Gods save the King!