Jump to content

Estoytrucha

Members
  • Posts

    65
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Linked Accounts

  • Byond CKey
    estoytrucha

Recent Profile Visitors

1,401 profile views

Estoytrucha's Achievements

Virologist

Virologist (14/37)

  1. A) Because people do things that are against the rules sometimes, apparently, and hitting on a grieving person didn't seem to be beyond the pale of what I thought was allowed on server. Thirdly, because I really liked Goolies and didn't want to get him in trouble. In all honesty? I was stupid. In a perfect world this would have occurred to me and I would have time outted and asked Goolies for clarification immediately and then ahelped him if my version of events was true. In this arena I will say I fucked up until I'm blue in the face and hopefully I've learned enough from this experience to never do it again. B) I treated it as a confessional and not as a means to send the rumor out. It's the difference between saying "I misremembered something Ryan said in character and made a situation look a lot worse than it was" vs "-insert the whole rumor here-". I hope the difference is fairly apparent. Still a bad move in retrospect, and the answer would be because it didn't occur to me that this was a violation of the gag order. It wasn't promoting the rumor as truth, it wasn't IC, it wasn't in an open system to spread everywhere. It was four dms in confidence (two of which were in responses to people wondering why I left the mutual servers with Goolies) and one voicechat with what I had thought of as my best friends/gaming group on a private, unaffiliated server. Not a mistake I will make again.
  2. Goolies, you didn’t say you wanted this private because you wanted to protect me. You said you wanted this private because I am a monster who will ply people with pity to attack you. I reacted to the attack on my intentions and responded with the only way I thought would make this the least ambiguous. As for the rest I can only say that whoever is sending you continued information from the server I will now never use again as a safe place to speak in confidence is feeding you skewed info. Possibly to help you, possibly to hurt me. But I wasn’t out there spreading the rumor to a bunch of people. Look at the time stamps, look at evidence. Let other people in the community submit evidence if I have been doing that. Another reason to make this public. I wasn’t proliferating the story about Ryan. I asked the stuff before the Ir, let alone Alberyk’s note. Just let the admins do their job. Submit anything you want to submit. Have the third party submit anything they have. I have nothing else to say or offer. I understand you not trusting me. Trust admins and your friends. You have many. If I have been going around telling people the rumor, they will come forward to Garn, I am certain.
  3. The only thing I dispute was the him telling me firmly once again to leave him alone, from the framework of this complaint. I had thought we were on good terms and circumstance had him ignoring me due to hectic rounds or more important conversations. If he did it in looc at one point, I must have missed it. Our DM logs do not reflect him firmly telling me to leave me alone after he said he had forgiven me, more or less, and invited me back to join our shared server. Edit: And the claim about me being here to shame and crybully my way out of the culpability for the mistake in the first place. Regardless how vision and/or mental issues played into it and the episode that followed, I STILL damaged Ryan's reputation and gave a larger metagrudge ammo it didn't need. I want people to see this thread, mostly, to make SURE they know that the rumor was false. I couldn't set the record straight with ghosts who watched me ICly spread it for months without knowing it was wrong. This is the closest I can do to that. Also, so that Goolies can be certain that if I do approach him or say anything (which I won't, but I understand him not trusting me and still being hurt), other players know the deal and can ahelp that shit immediately.
  4. Also, this happened: Edit: Note, I did not ask anyone to do this to Goolies. I would not have asked anyone to do this to Goolies.
  5. I did try to initiate contact a few times in character/looc and dmed him twice over a period of a month and a half.
  6. If we can date all correspondence you should be able to see I wasn’t spreading it after you spoke to me, Alberyk. If I am somehow wrong about this I deserve the punishment.
  7. I feel safe in saying that I talked to my friends about feeling bad about it and tried to figure out how I messed up so badly a little on the side, but I certainly didn’t keep at the rumor after disproved by all other parties. When brought up again at any pound, it was in an ooc sense with the admission I fucked up. If there is evidence to the contrary I welcome it.
  8. Also I didn't know Alberyk's cease and desist meant I couldn't talk about the thing in my own DMs with people I thought were friends. I've even looked over my DM history during that time. I was only honest about how it felt with a couple of people and used not such colorful language, as far as I can tell. Also spoke in the past tense, mostly. If you have DMs otherwise, I need to know about them. Alberyk and Garn need to know about them. I don't actually believe they exist in plural, but I've done things and forgotten about them before. I also don't know if they actually say the things you are insinuating. You are angry, and I get that. If they do, though, I need to know this is who I am to fix it.
  9. Again, though, you did not emphaticize our divorce. Tone does not carry. I noticed you ignoring me, but not initially. Your characters interacted with Tabor and I thought you knew that was also my character. Thus, the reignoring appeared to come out of nowhere. At any time during that, you could have just told me to leave you alone. You could have asked a friend to ask me to leave you alone on your behalf. One of your friends, clearly, and not mine. Edit: I also do not remember using such language about "not wanting to be here anymore" in reference to this. I stopped playing for a week partially to prevent this from being something that would effect things. Were they screencaps of entirely separate instances? Were there a lot of players with this information? If this stuff is occurring and I have no memory of it, that is concerning for similar reasons the start of this was. I would like know if that exists. Feel free to remove usernames, but I would like to see it.
  10. I was drafting a message to her myself as it went down, Goolies. It had started spiralling out of control faster than I could handle because a) I didn't realize it wasn't true until too late, and b) I was too defensive to correct it immediatey. And I felt horrible that I could have imagined something so terrible. Even now I'm okay with this going public and yes, my damage control took too long. All of these things are true. However, the damage was already mostly done before I even brought it up to you. And, believe it or not, the reason I felt bad was because I wanted to protect you after I'd fucked up. Whether you believe that or not now is up to you. I will give you your space. Is that all you want from me? Or do you want other people to come and air grievances to see if this is a pattern of behavior that needs to be quelled? I have offered to allow this to be public on my side. Yes, I will act injured to some degree if this occurs and I recieve hatemail, but I will not "try and use pity to turn people against you". I won't even be on any official discords for the following few days and will speak only to those players that are my friends in ways that transcend SS13 about the matter. Most of them have more or less moved on from the Aurora, anyway. This should prevent you from being unduly harmed on my account.
  11. Oops. I also stand corrected. I also told you about the disability thing _after_ you said you'd forgiven me. Not to get me off, but to explain why things probably happened in the first place. You're welcome to show those logs. Man, being put on the spot really makes memory kinda bad. At any rate, you don't have to conceal this on my account. I did what I could since, and the damage is done. When I said I would leave the community before I stayed away for a week in earnest. I have left our shared discord once more. I'm not out to get you here. I don't appreciate the accusation of being a manipulative emotional abuser, however.
  12. You're also welcome to make this complaint public if you want to air out the extent of this problem and clear Ryan Barrett's name once and for all. I don't know anything short of that which could tell all the ghosts that might have been watching at any point that I erred and Ryan is innocent.
  13. I told you before you before I knew the IR was up. I was investigating on my own and trying to run damage control before I apologized fully, because one of the few players I told about this said it didn't add up. I didn't know the IR was even going to exist, and I do correct the score when I see it brought up (only has happened twice). Yes, this affected your character's reputation and yes, I am responsible for doubling down in looc, which I regret and do not intend to do again. This was over a months-old memory. I can't control what other people took from it after the fact. But I didn't go around making a conspiracy to get you banned, didn't call you a rapist, and I didn't go around saying that Goolies was a bad person. Just that Ryan, in inviting Isksii to talk about the grief, was propositioning her and then that I misremembered that. Granted, ghosts might have watched any of these interactions. Interactions I made whilst still incorrect, and not knowing any better. If it had been me, I would be furious you had a character say something like that about my character. However, I also wouldn't retroactively use necromancy on an issue I thought resolved and would have just said in DMS "actually I'm still mad. Please leave me alone." after you tried to start being friendly with me again. If someone bothers you now about this, tell them, and screencap this, that I misunderstood and didn't go to you quick enough to resolve the situation back then. That part was my bad. I screwed up. However, also remember that you forgave me and didn't tell me the issue came back up. You can talk to the player who made the IR. Or at least, someone who isn't you can. I have. I cannot control what people took from it and I can and will correct the account with anyone who asks. With those whom I told, which wasn't many ICly, with the exception of characters who long since left, I admitted I did wrong. On the bright side, you can rest assured that I will never attempt to greet you in the game or on Discord again. Also, the only person I spoke to about my disability in reference to this and how it might have contributed to the misreading of the situation in the first place and they did NOT have permission to speak to you edit: about what I told them in confidence (they didn't ask). I told you I felt bad. It wasn't about me. So I didn't go into it with even most of my closest friends. I know who came to you, I think. I will ask them never to bother you on my behalf again, either.
  14. Sorry. I swear this is the last post, but this what where I thought I had left off with Goolies before he stopped responding to my friendly looc messages.
×
×
  • Create New...