Ziaboop

I'm thinking at this point that I at the very least need to take a break from the game. I'd been playing obsessively since the 22nd when a friend of mine introduced me to the game so it would probably do to take some time off. Then I'll see if I'm still feeling up for it. Also I had Blue Oyster Cult in mind when writing the title, mostly because it also tied in to my extra special phobia of cult rounds

This is a topic that I've been thinking about writing since the cult round at around the mid-morning of the 27th (GMT) where I feel like I was left genuinely distressed by the events that took place even though I had spent the round from start to finish as an observer and wasn't myself under any threat. It sounds silly to say that I've had nightmares about that round and it seems to have quite seriously affected me in a way that I really didn't anticipate, to the point where I'm wondering if I should stick around SS13 at all because this kind of antagonist threat is really the basis of the experience a lot of the time. The main problem I've had with the game is that I've been feeling in most antagonist modes that somebody could burst in the door at any moment and horribly murder my character, that thrill of being potentially hunted is part of what made the game initially so compelling, but I think that it's crossed over to a point where it's no longer fun for me anymore. Possibly I'm taking the loss of my character too seriously, it's only for one round after all and what would the game be without the scenarios that it has? I think I'm too connected to my characters, perceiving a threat to them as if it were a genuine threat to my own person. That has lead to some compelling roleplay, like actually taking my character getting injured in the way that actually takes it seriously... perhaps too seriously. It seems really silly to me as somebody who's roleplayed for a long time in various forms that I would feel this way. I don't generally feel that way in PnP games, I take the punches as they come because that's the game. But in SS13 I've found it especially psychological in a way that no other game has managed to accomplish for me, mostly because I'm horror game averse to the extreme being a self admitted coward. I actually don't find roleplaying trauma to be at all enjoyable, which is probably what makes the cult rounds so especially distasteful for me because the trauma and brutality is a large part of the theme which makes it quite possibly the most unsettling scenario. I'm wondering then how to deal with the problem I'm having and learn to enjoy the game whatever happens to my character.

One thing that's been frequently frustrating when playing science, since I'm pretty much always a roboticist because I'm most familiar with it, is that robotics seems pretty much useless without miners and cargo staff and I can't even make my own buckets to flood the place with cleanerbots named after Keeping Up Appearances characters (Which I understand might be in part down to a server stability issue of having lots of little robots wandering around).

I'd just like to say, on that point since we have a complaints section but not a positive feedback section, that I think given the circumstances Josh was doing the best that he could trying to control the rapidly spiralling out of control madhouse of headless chickens that the cult round (Like cult rounds tend to do) ended up being. There was pretty much no way that the opposition to the cult could do anything as soon as they broke out of the brig, because they immediately went around pulling out all the gear they could and breaking into every vital station system that they could... then of course came the ganking and the arrivals camping to put the icing on the cake. I wasn't playing that round, I was observing while trying to set up my forum account and had actually intended to go to bed but couldn't turn myself away from the trainwreck happening in front of me. There was no opportunity what so ever for an opposition to form, maybe out of spite for the alleged maltreatment that security had ICly and OOC done on the original cultists, but that doesn't excuse the behaviour and it definitely doesn't excuse rune spamming Edmund Wade about 5 or more times while playing pass the parcel with his body. That moment summed up the attitude that the cult seemed to show the whole game, any hope of opposition was to be strangled in a manner which completely prohibited any kinda of come back or doomed defense, and then when they'd already won they refused to end the game and dragged it on as long as they possible could even attacking the AI when it was the only thing left. Another issue which I think the staff need to look at is the inability for moderators to call ERT, that would have probably made the game more enjoyable for all sides when people could try to mount some sort of defence against cultists who all seemed to have armour and weapons slaughtering completely defenceless people. I understand bloodcult is supposed to be brutal but we've also got to remember that it's first and foremost a game and everybody's enjoyment is to be considered. I think at least the round was incredibly unsporting and at worst probably amounts to powergaming on multiple fronts (Securing everything worth securing right at the start of the game after escaping brig confinement). But eh, I was incredibly tired at the time so these thoughts may be over-exaggerated, but that's my birds eye view ghosting take on the game and if nothing else I don't blame Josh at all for getting stressed out over the round, I was just an observer and I was incredibly stressed out over it myself.

I do think that people who play confrontational 'dicky' characters should... out of courtesy... occasionally not be. Of course I'm biased in that I prefer the non-confrontational style, but it does start getting tiring when the same old suspects are up to the same old tricks every round regardless of if they're antag or not. I guess that helps with the metadisguise in that if somebody is always a dick then when they're antag dicks they won't get OOCly suspected, but I think even there a nice refreshing thing would be to try another disguise method.

All I'll really say on the subject is that there's way too much fighting on the station in general, especially fighting which makes absolutely no sense and security either does nothing or does something and gets accused of metagaming or powertripping. While I understand that this can definitely happen a lot with security, it seems basically assumed that security are all giant fun spoilers which doesn't go anywhere in encouraging them to be any different. We've all got to remember that as employees of a company even starting a fist fight in the bar would probably be a crime worthy of suspension or indeed expulsion from service. Although I'm aware NT isn't exactly your average employer, as I've frequently compared them to Weyland Yutani and believe that the stations are lures for the real experiments, they're still not going to be too happy about staff breaking into armed conflict immediately and jeopardising their possible nefarious purpose (Or benign purpose). And yeah, maybe the characters have history with each other, maybe they're just assholes, but pretty much every round I played tonight the station devolved into mass arguments on common and near constant fist fighting. It's no wonder security are heavy handed, they're probably tired of it going that way too. Maybe it'd be a good idea for people to alternate between their asshole characters and nice characters a little more frequently? I'd like to see some rounds where the understaffed security aren't constantly running around solving petty squabbles, and I say this as somebody who's frequently just observing from my laboratory fortress. It's become pretty much standard practice for me to exile myself to the Science division because I can actually get some talking done and not have to be constantly afraid of getting punched, shot, stabbed or otherwise maimed by people who aren't the antagonist (Not that antagonists ever target me until they've got nothing better to do). I played an extended where it seemed as an outside observer just reading the common channel that most of the station was ending up in and out of the medbay for various mild to severe injuries from things that probably had nothing to do with 'legitimate' problems. It's probably sort of expected to be that way now, but I'd say that's probably the issue, the violence is expected.