[Denied]Morali's Tajara Application

[morali]

BYOND Key: morali

Character Names:Art Walker (Medical Doctor) , Yazan Morali (Security Cadet)

Species you are applying to play: I am applying for the race tajara ( Zhan-Khazan group )

What color do you plan on making your first alien character: Blue-Grey (RGB 34, 37, 50)

Have you read our lore section's page on this species?: yes i have read it and i am so excited to get the race and start playing it 

Please provide well articulated answers to the following questions in a paragraph format. One paragraph minimum per question.

Why do you wish to play this specific race: 

First of all this is a role play game that you want to live in it what you can't live in the real life and the human race is very boring and close to the real life so i went to read about races and lores and the race that had my interest is Tajara i like the play style of this race it has advantages on the human race and their names , Fashion , History ,Cuisine , Arts , Military , and Education it's all amazing and i want to get in this role  to try new things and get bigger space and more play and this race and it history  speaks to me and my life very much as i am arabic 

Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human:

The difference is kinda big as a Human you just do your job without do something to spice things up like the way the Tajara race talks or reacts to things it's not gonna be like a normal Human and the advantages that the Tajara has in something stuff is helpful to have more RP going 

Character Name: Khan Abd'alkader

Please provide a short backstory for this character

Born in 26th July 2430 - in a poor city this character and his family had a farm that his dad make him to work in it he would have wake everyday in the morning to look after the farm he didn't have any childhood but this child had a dream to become a Doctor one day 

he had alot of problems in his way to become a doctor because of his family and his financial situation and his father was forcing him to work in the farm and to not put attention to studying so he had to work hard to achieve his dream and help his father 

and no he is a Medical Resident after finishing studying and he is looking for his career to be great and live what he couldn't live in his childhood

What do you like about this character?
i like about this character the way he interact with other people and the courage of taking any challenge that stand in front of him like the passion he has to be a good doctor 

How would you rate your role-playing ability?

i would rate it 6 or maybe 7 /10 because of my english that sometimes i can't continue the conversation because sometimes i don't know how to say it in english and the time i go to translate the work from my language to english the conversation would be already changed to a different topic 

Notes: i tried my best to do a good application i am so bad at it and my english dont help really if there is any problem please tell me to fix it in anyway because i really want to get this race and try newthing in aurora

Edited May 5, 2019 by Mofo1995

[DeadLantern]

Salam Alaikum!

You note that your English is not very good. It is actually better than some of the native speakers that play here. At least you are self aware of your skill. 

However, your English skills is not what I will be focusing in this app. You say that you have read the various pages of lore. That is good, but you do not show that knowledge in the lore.

In the "Identify what makes playing this species different" part, add things that you have learned in the lore. Such as the racism between each Tajara, or how they speak in the third person ("He is here" instead of "I am here") and all of that.

Once you've done that, incorporate that lore and history with your character and make sure to show that you've read the lore. Once you do that, people can judge it further.

[morali]

True i didn't mention that but i was aware from that that why i mention that i am arabic and this race speaks to me as the racism that some people have to us and i didnt mention the way it talk as i said i like it playstyle in the talking thing is part of the playstyle i know i didn't provide any details but i know all this and i have read the lore (didn't complete all of it as i didnt read their relationship and marriage ) but i have a decent amount of knowledge in the lore 

 

[Mofo1995]

Woah, it's been 19 days since you posted this, I'm so sorry it totally slid under my radar! I will be getting to this either today or tomorrow.

[Mofo1995]

I'm gonna take another day to think about this. I think one thing that sticks out to me is that I can really feel your enthusiasm coming through the application, and I believe when you say you've read the lore pages because of that enthusiasm, but I need a demonstration of some of that lore in your application to make sure you really understand it. One of the most important parts of whitelist applications for aliens is to demonstrate your lore knowledge through your character's story.

[Mofo1995]

I've decided to deny this application, as it would need a complete rewrite in order to incorporate more of the lore to demonstrate understanding.