DeadLantern

Type (e.g. Planet, Faction, System): A cultural thing. Describe this proposal in a single sentence (12 word maximum): An expansion to traditional forms of Unathi martial arts and how they work in society. How will this be reflected on-station? Unathi duels and combat would adhere to this proposal (as long as they are fighting traditionally). Does this faction/etc do anything not achieved by what already exists? Yes, it does things not achieved by what exists. Why should this be given to lore developers rather than remain player created lore? Unathi martial arts fit very nicely with the theme of the species, and it is tough to assume/create your own sort of traditional style, because you would expect all Unathi warriors to know and adhere to that style. And if you are attempting to duel another Unathi, it lacks standards on how you actually fight. Do you understand that if this is submitted, you are signing it away to the lore team, and that it's possible that it will change over time in ways that you may not forsee? Yes. Long Description: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Uf-7XQqKJwpcPcttpJlJtJhUZsxjX7zXL61D6qIEMw4/edit?usp=sharing

I think these questions are satisfactory. Good luck on your application, you seem to know what you are doing!

While Tajara may mirror some of our own politics and history, they definitely still have a unique culture and social system that resembles something else entirely. You make a race mixed character, cool. They also live in the countryside--Zhan are known for living in tight and insular communities that traditionally marry with the other families in the village. The father of this character obviously departed this sort of life, as with the Hharar. In the countryside, technology and influence is very limited. The average rural PRA Tajara would not believe heavily in the Party, and may even see them as another monarch stealing their crops. In any case, this family would take a lot of flak for living in the countryside, both for a Zhan out of his community and the interracial marriage. You do not violate this, but it is something to keep in mind. He might be jaded with other Tajara, or even the party, for the way he might be treated. What you write on the page is fine and accurate, but you neglect another part of Tajara culture that is probably important: Religion. Here is what I ask you: what religion is Khaz? Zhan are traditionally followers of the Ma'ta'ke Gods, and Hharar can be either both. Does he shun religion in favor of the party? Or does he deal in Raskariism? Another thing to bring is up is that you speak little of how this character views the world. He is certainly treated a way by this world, but we do not get a sense of his reaction to the world around him. How does he like Hadiism? Is it a bastion where he can finally fit in as one unified people? As a farmer, did he oppose collectivization? What about the discrimination towards Zhans by the Party? And, not to forget, what about the NKA and the PRA? Essentially, I am asking how Khaz thinks of Adhomai and the state of it and her people. Thanks for reading!

Two is obviously the greatest, simply for the custom games.

1. The Rock Nomads are historically sellswords. Think of Landsknecht or any flavor of medieval mercenary. They fight who they are paid for, but they have a grudge against the PRA. Most the caravans in Harr'masir would be paid by the NKA to fight the PRA, with some of the lesser Caravans fighting because they want to. The Mountain King fought chiefly for his caravans. If you want Saffiya to fight for the ALA, she could not go the Mountain King or any caravan; she would likely find a terrorist cell operating outside of a major city. She could also be smuggled anywhere. If you really want to be a "formal" ALA soldier, there were no official Juntas comamnding in Harr'masir, to my knowledge, disregarding Amohda. She could totally still serve in the ALA, however. 2. I get it. It is similar to what the DPRA wants--tradition first. She wants something that is unique to her. It makes sense why she would fight for the ALA. Good application, I like it.

I consider this to be a very good application, though I am a little confused by certain parts. "Saffiya joined the war effort in trying to keep hold of their homeland." - For clarification, she would be fighting for the NKA. If I could quibble, it would not really be Saffiya "joining" the war--I would think the Caravan leaders would get together and decide all together if they would participate in the War, depending on whom paid them. You make it clear that the entire caravan is joining the war, so it is fine. It is just a minor problem involving wording. "Saffiya was once again left feeling betrayed. Harmaliik’s pledge to the NKA - and the caste system it upheld - was something she could not abide by." - This is an interesting passage. Why would Saffiya be against the caste system? The caste system is how peoples like the Rock Nomads can keep their distinct culture and spirit alive--this goes for the M'sai, the Zhan, the Hharar, and the Njarir as well. the PRA attempts to destroy the caste system, which is exactly why the Rock Nomads were grounded. Saffiya could totally have the opinion that the caste system is bad, but then she would have to agree with the PRA, and at least somewhat respect the decision to ground the Rock Nomads in an effort to make one unified Tajara culture. As of right now, it does not seem all too realistic that Saffiya would support such a concept, as the caste system is exactly why Rock Nomads can celebrate their culture, and the destruction of the caste system nearly brought her culture to ruin. Additionally, the ALA also supports the caste system--just without the forced labor and intense boundaries between the castes. The ALA and the DPRA want a return to tradition, similar to the NKA, but without the monarchy. "Relieved to have her daughter back despite their disagreements, Saffiya still couldn’t quite bring herself to forgive her from talking her out of joining the DPRA." - When did Saffiya join the ALA? Harmaliik never fought with the ALA or the NKA, only actually allying with the NKA in 2461, which you talk about. I'd imagine most of the people who rode with Harmaliik would agree with the NKA more than the ALA--and the ALA had almost no presence in Harr'masir during the Second Revolution. Did she join after she left Harmaliik's caravan? Overall, this is a good application, but I'd like to see these passages cleared up, as I am a little confused about their presence.

I think these questions are satisfactory! I am not going to harass you with more questions, but I will tell you this: Marii would either worship the Ma'ta'ke Pantheon or worship Messa and S'rendarr. If religion is a constant in her life, it would be wise to be knowledgeable about the religion she follows. Also, in the purest form of Hadiism, religion would be abolished. The Suns Worship (and earlier, the expired Njarir worship) especially were created to keep the peasantry subservient to the nobility. If she is an extreme Hadiist, she may have to grapple between two parts of the world that mean a lot to her identity yet are technically against each other. Good luck.

Unathi have been on Dominia for 26 years, and a large section of Dominians (Fisanduhans) actively resist Unathi culture seeping into Dominia. A pidgin could perhaps exist on Dominia. Unathi can not select Sol Common as one of their languages, so I will assume that Unathi can only communicate in TCB. I would think TCB would service as the business/lingua franca tongue for humans and Unathi on Dominia. In some places in Dominia, where humans and unathi live very close together, or do trade with a lot but still do not understand TCB, a pidgin would probably exist, though the existence of such a place would be asspull. Additionally, this language wouldn't even technically be a language. A pidgin isn't a language until it has people who speak it natively as a first language (then it becomes a creole). So, for a "language" to exist, there would have to be a place in Dominia where the Unathi and Humans do business talk regularly but neither of them care to or speak TCB. They decide to create some bastard language. I do not buy this for the following reasons: The existence of such a place would be rare and certainly not representative of Dominia as a whole (so why would the entire country adopt it?) This place would have to immediately start trying to create some bastard business language with these warlords (this could happen in 26 years, I give you that). And, plus, it wouldn't even be a language, technically. A child would have to be born within 26 years and they would have to start learning this pidgin language as their /first/ language, not sol common or Azaziba, and enough parents would have to do this for it to be actually considered a language. It does not make sense for there to be a bastard language on Dominia.

You say that Marii is in her late thirties, placing her birth right in the middle of the First Revolution. It is said that she fully places her beliefs into the PRA, but the First Revolution never necessarily clung towards the beliefs of Hadiism--it was very fragmented. Her younger years must have been plagued with war, the entire way of life for the Tajara being destroyed as she grew up. Did she only find Hadiist ideals during this time? What of her parents? Did they fight in the Revolution, storm castle Hadii and the other monarchist castles? Or perhaps, were they a soldier of Hadii, initially serving to uphold monarchism? Were they just people trying to live their lives? Where at? I do not expect a full answer from these questions. I am asking these questions so that the character gets a better sense of the world she inhabited. These questions before will help you answer the real questions I have: 1. The Tajara caste system is extremely influential on their culture, being very real even after the First Revolution. Is she M'sai--many soldiers served their monarchist overlords during the war, but some defected to the revolution? Or Zhan-Khazan, the workhorse of the Nobility, and where the revolution stemmed from? Many Zhan threw off their chains after being oppressed for so long, though a minority held fast to their kings. Or Hharar, the common Tajara, with many serving the monarchists and some serving the various revolutions? Or the Njarir, some of which helped the revolution in its entirety--or the very villains that most Tajara ascribed their oppression. The caste will certainly change how the character views the world and how it reacts to her; it is incredibly important to the character, and it should not be neglected. In short, what caste is Marii, and how does that affect her life? 2. How does Marii view the other castes? This will no doubt rely on her own caste and her parent's place in the First Revolution, as well as the beliefs she has in adulthood. 3. How does Marii view the other factions on Adhomai? Are the NKA the reincarnated devils that brought the Tajara into this mess? The DPRA, a festering nation wish wants the rigid and uniform lines of traditional society to be reinstated? Or, perhaps, the NKA are deluded comrades who only need to be shown the light of Hadiism, and the DPRA were former friends turned enemies through the untimely death of Hadii? It depends on her outlook, her history, her race, etc. 4. How does Marii view religion? Again, depends on her history and her fervor when it comes to Hadiism.

2502

I would rather not change the lore just to accommodate for a name. "Eridani Federation" is perfectly acceptable in my ears, a name of a country does not have to be exciting or interesting to serve its purpose.

The problem with the Trade Company is that it implies that it is just one company running Eridani, and that is not the case. The Federation makes more sense, because it is multiple corporations that are just working together (like a Federation).

It does exist in the Solarian Alliance, though it firmly acts as if it were its own entity. Though, on paper, it technically is a part of the Sol Alliance (I wouldn't use the term "owned"), and that could be grounds for a term such as zone. In the wiki, it is already referred to as "The Free Economic Zone of Epsilon Eridani", so after further thinking, I do not really see a problem with this rename. If it is useful, that is another discussion.

I like the Eridani Special Administrative Region. "Trade Zone" might confuse people more, as zone does not imply it holds independent authority. The term "Trade Zone" corresponds with Special Economic Zones that exist in real life, which are, as you expect, special trading zones that exist within the borders of a nation, controlled by that nation only. Zone implies it exists inside a larger entity, or is controlled by a large entity.

Well, the Jargon Federation is almost universally referred to as "the federation/Jargon", and the Eridani Federation is almost universally referred to as "Eridani", and plus, context can usually determine which country you are talking about. Both of them are technically Federations (Eridani with its corporations, Jargon with its federalized government system), so I am fine with leaving it as it is. This change seems rather superfluous. I've never seen this problem before in game or OOCly.