OCD productions' Tajara Application

[OCD productions]

BYOND Key: OCD productions

Character Names: none so far

Species you are applying to play: tajara

What color do you plan on making your first alien character: silver (RGB 192, 192, 192)

Have you read our lore section's page on this species?: yes the history, ethnicities, faction wikis, notable tajara and military structures

Why do you wish to play this specific race: I like the lore of the tajaran

Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human:
The societal and political conditions that would affect a tajaran and mould them into the person that they are completely different from humans 30 years before first contact with in 2418 CE most they were basically in the early modern period and within the span of 50 years tajaran society went through mass industrialization and 2 revolutions with body counts in the 100's of millions. an elderly tajaran would go through what would amount to a 300-year jump in societal and technological change in one lifetime and the effects of all of this progress on a tajaran would be massive in shaping their personality. and the ongoing cold war between the 3 tajaran nations could lead to fun RP possibilities with other tajaran.

Character Name: Yasmina Ordau

Please provide a short backstory for this character: 
Yasmina Ordau was born in 2117 1 year before first contact to a m'sai father and mother she had 4 older siblings. Her parents were members of a guard created by a minor noble to protect himself from the disgruntled zhan-khazan peasantry she and her family were mostly unaffected by the first revolution because of the isolated location of the noble her parents were serving under. for most of life childhood she never took an interest in combat while this was certainly unusual for a m'sai it wasn't unprecetented instead of fighting and hunting like her siblings she spent her time in the kitchen bothering the lords servants and watching them cook food and prepare cocktails

when she turned 12 just like his siblings she was ordered to serve the same lord her parents were under, but unlike her parents and siblings she joined the lords servants instead of the guard while tending for one of the lords sons Cecil Csihar she befriended the 14 year old considering the lack of people in the fringe lands that the lord lived in they spent most of their time together he would be the only person apart from her siblings that was truly her friend

when the first revolution ended in 2132 a detachment from the grand peoples army marched on the lords Château the lords guards resisted to no avail after a short siege the lord his servants and the guard regiment were detained the lord was executed along with other members of the aristocracy but the lords sons his servants and the guard were spared they wouldn't be executed but they would be kept in prison because of their connections to the nobility while yasmina would be interned at a different facility than her parents but as luck would have it she was made to stay in the same location as cecil csihar she spent 4 years in that prison the only redeeming fact was that cecil was her company during those 4 years she and cecil planned an escape the plan was dangerous but it was better than rotting in a prison the prison was in a very remote location the only things near it being snow and the occasional ha'rron 

Their plan was simple, wait for a celebration to happen most likely a religious one and while the guards are too busy being involved in the revelry, gambling on sun and moon or just listening to KGTW-11 sneak out while most people would think the guards would be competent enough to make sure to appoint someone on guard duty but because of the location of the prison being so isolated and it being the middle of greater winter there was no way anyone could be crazy enough to escape so the guards didn't even bother patrolling the corridors or checking up on the prisoners.

once Yasmina and Cecil managed to escape the hard part began miles upon miles of snow to hopefully reach any semblance of civilization but they would persevere they had gotten this far they weren't going back after the escape. and they persevered they tried their hardest to move along the snow was up to their ankles.but they persevered. Yasmina couldn't feel her hands because of the cold. but they persevered. even with their fur, they were shivering. but they persevered. they kept walking until they felt like they were going to lose consciousness. Cecils eyelids were closing. he was a Njarir’Akhran , a noble his body wasn't supposed to handle these temperatures. his orange fur had become white because of all the snow. his body felt numb and. he couldn't persevere

Yasmina barely heard the noise of Cecil body falling to the ground when she heard that noise she felt fear. not because of the cold, not because of the Ha'rron hounds that were out in the tundra she feared that Cecil might be gone she wanted to go on but she couldn't "it was for her own good" she said to herself "if I move on I will survive he would want me to go on" she said but she couldn't go on she stopped for a moment and stood there. then she lunged backward to grab her beloved she could carry him she could bring him with her she thought when she grabbed him he was not dead his heart was still beating but it was obvious he couldn't move by himself so she grabbed him and with whatever force left in her body she tried to carry him she couldn't he was simply too heavy for her malnourished self knowing that he would die here she wept and promised him that she would survive and before leaving she embraced her beloved one last time.

even if she couldn't stop tearing up she had do continue moving and that she did she had given a promise she couldn't stop and she wouldn't stop she carried on for hours she walked on the unforgiving sheet of snow and it wasn't all for naught she finally managed to chance upon a small fishing village in that village only a small amount of people noticed her and those that did. didn't stop to talk to her she saw a fishing boat the back full of fish seeing this gave hope "if the back is full of fish then fisherman must be going to the city to sell it" she thought and she walked over to the fishing boat nobody was around the boat so she snuck in and hid between crates of fish and fell asleep

when she woke up they were in a big city she got off the boat to take a look around the city knowing that she was penniless she wanted to look for a job and that's how she ended up in the city's nanotrasen branch with some of the things she knew about mixing drinks and cooking from the days when she was the servant of the lord she signed up as a contractor in nanotrasen she was a convict and couldn't stay in adhomai anymore.

it's now 2462 it has been 26 years since she joined nanotrasen adhomai is no longer under the sole authority of the people's republic it hasn't been for a year the other two countries wouldn't arrest her she is free to return but she doesn't maybe she had been lying to herself all those years maybe she didn't leave because of her criminal status but maybe she left because the planet would remind her of her beloved

What do you like about this character?:

I like how the rebellion shaped her into who she is. she was just at the wrong place in the wrong time and suffered for it this probably left a very antagonistic view of the people's republic of adhomai and roleplaying as a character who starts out this way could be really interesting maybe she will talk to a person who likes the people's republic and understand that while they may have ruined her life they helped others and how nothing is purely good or bad or maybe she won't I want to experience the journey of this bitter character that I made

How would you rate your role-playing ability? 7/10

notes: I haven't played in aurorastation that much before and instead of creating and playing with a human character for the sole reason of being able to play as a tajaran later I would like to start playing as a tajaran character. now I know you're supposed to play as a human for a while and then switch to tajaran but I've read the rules and already spent multiple hours on the wiki so I really hope it won't be a problem

[Alberyk]

On 23/10/2020 at 21:59, OCD productions said:

Character Names: none so far

This is an issue. By the rules of the whitelist application, you should have at least played a bit in the server. I can't even find your ckey here, so you did not even connect once in the server. Sorry but it is the rules and can't really accept this application due to this. But, I have read it and I will leave some feedback, so you may re-apply in the future.

On 23/10/2020 at 21:59, OCD productions said:

Why do you wish to play this specific race: I like the lore of the tajaran

This could be expanded upon.

On 23/10/2020 at 21:59, OCD productions said:

Yasmina Ordau was born in 2117

I guess you meant 2417 here.

On 23/10/2020 at 21:59, OCD productions said:

when the first revolution ended in 2132

Same as above.

On 23/10/2020 at 21:59, OCD productions said:

when she woke up they were in a big city she got off the boat to take a look around the city knowing that she was penniless she wanted to look for a job and that's how she ended up in the city's nanotrasen branch with some of the things she knew about mixing drinks and cooking from the days when she was the servant of the lord she signed up as a contractor in nanotrasen she was a convict and couldn't stay in adhomai anymore.

it's now 2462 it has been 26 years since she joined nanotrasen adhomai is no longer under the sole authority of the people's republic it hasn't been for a year the other two countries wouldn't arrest her she is free to return but she doesn't maybe she had been lying to herself all those years maybe she didn't leave because of her criminal status but maybe she left because the planet would remind her of her beloved

This does not explain much in regards to what the character was even hired for. What is their job with NanoTrasen? What job would they even do while on the station. What did they do during these 26 years? It is kinda lacking in regards to the second revolution and the conflict between the factions. It also does not expand on what the character's believe or why they don't support any of the sides here. The application explores the first revolution, but it forgets to touch upon the second revolution and the most recent events. Even if your character was affiliated with the nobility, and somehow still supports them, there is always the New Kingdom. Exploring the cold war between the faction would be benefitial to the application.

While I am not an english native speaker and my grammar can be somewhat dodgy at times, the backstory was kinda hard to read due to the lack of basic punctuation and how the sentences were structured. I recommend trying to get someone else to review and help you out with this, but take in consideration that a lot of roleplay will be done via writing in game, so you should strive to at least have some acceptable level of grammar.

Anyway, I will have to deny this due to the whitelist rules. From what I can see, you did read it and have a grasp in regards to the lore, but you have to play a bit in the server before I can consider giving you a whitelist. After you played one or two weeks, you can reapply taking in consideration the feedback I left here. There is passion in your writing, but there is also a lot of stuff that should be improved as well.

If you have any doubt, you can contact me here in the forums or in the discord. We also have a lore discord that you can join to discuss the lore.

Application denied for now.