vaurca [Denied] Casgam1 's application to *chitter

[CasualMemer]

BYOND Key: Casgam1

Character Names: Austin Weinstein,Pedro Ceres,Huey Ortiz,Cyrus Parkinson,Darin Vidal,Marvin Overstreet,Sam Bicknell,Kyler Warydottir,Brayden Kaur,Dustin Metzer,Tuna Thomson.

Species you are applying to play: Vaurca

What color do you plan on making your first alien character:RGB 81, 21, 0 (brown)

 Have you read our lore section's page on this species?:Yes

Please provide well articulated answers to the following questions in a paragraph format.One paragraph minimum per question.

Why do you wish to play this specific race: I find that the vaurca are pretty silly,they have speech impediments that make them sound silly and they have very interesting history and place in the galaxy,i love ants and i have a multitude of great experiences RP-ing with vaurcae ingame.

Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human: Vaurcae have extremely different culture and history compared to humans,they are split into two societal ranks: Bound and Unbound. The Bound are much more simple-minded,acting like a cheap and young IPC,being by definition made for working since birth. Unbounds being more like humans,being mentally normal,seeking versatility instead of being made for one purpose. There are even different types of vaurca: Type A:The worker is the most common type of all,they always try to keep out of conflict whenever possible. Type B: The warrior is born for combat,for that reason they are mostly suited for security jobs,they are more combat-ready in their mentality. Type C : The Breeder is the rarest type of them all,they are the hive representatives that know politics and their hive's history very well (i will most likely never be able to RP as a breeder). And the type E: The bulwarks are very uncommon due to them being the newest subspecies created,they are more defensive in nature due to their absolutely huge size and strength. They all have a connection to the Hivenet,a radio channel that only vaurcae can access.

The Character Name: Ka'Viax'Mop'Zo'ra

Please provide a short backstory for this character:Born a bound worker,they were implanted with the usual stuff and a special implant that allows for enhanced smelling capabilities as they were destined to be born a janitor, coming from Xakt’yagz’isk’s brood (Queen of corpses),they were sold to Nanotrasen as a janitor for their Getmore facilities in Biesel,he lived in a very small apartment,due to his excellent performance in the cleaning industry he was sent to work on the SCCV Horizon as a janitor.

 What do you like about this character? The fact that his name is Mop and he's a janitor is funny,and because i find the bound relatable,i am also pretty simple-minded (my opinion,i do think of myself as just a little small bit dumb)

How would you rate your role-playing ability? 6.7 (improving day-by-day)

Notes: Oh come on,his name is Mop and he's a janitor! That's a pretty dumb joke but i have to say it's a little funny. I am fully ready to answer those questions.

Edited August 28, 2023 by Desven

[La Villa Strangiato]

I've seen you apply repeatedly for species whitelists, and I want to be as blunt with you as possible about some of your weaknesses. You clearly seem to love Aurora, and I want you to improve so you can play more of what you're interested in.

Most of these are grammar, spelling, and punctuation concerns; while not strictly necessary to roleplay, most roleplayers and readers find the experience much more immersive if you have good skills in grammar/punctuation/spelling.

1. Here's what I've noticed about your punctuation; when you are typing in English, you need to put a space between a comma and the beginning of another word. You also need to remember to capitalize the personal pronoun "I", and not just at the beginning of a sentence.

2. Your writing has run-on sentences that can make your text awkward or difficult to read. When you finish a statement, end it with a period. If your statement has multiple parts, separate them with a comma. A decent rule of thumb is reading your sentences aloud to yourself to determine their "rhythm". If you pause to take a breath, end the sentence with a period.

3. Consider breaking up your paragraphs. All of the text where you talk about what makes a Vaurca different from a human is one block, even if you discuss different parts of their species. Let me show you how much more readable your text becomes when you break up paragraphs:

2 hours ago, CasualMemer said:

Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human:

Vaurcae have extremely different culture and history compared to humans,they are split into two societal ranks: Bound and Unbound. The Bound are much more simple-minded,acting like a cheap and young IPC,being by definition made for working since birth. Unbounds being more like humans,being mentally normal,seeking versatility instead of being made for one purpose.

There are even different types of vaurca:

Type A:The worker is the most common type of all,they always try to keep out of conflict whenever possible.

Type B: The warrior is born for combat,for that reason they are mostly suited for security jobs,they are more combat-ready in their mentality.

Type C : The Breeder is the rarest type of them all,they are the hive representatives that know politics and their hive's history very well (i will most likely never be able to RP as a breeder).

And the type E: The bulwarks are very uncommon due to them being the newest subspecies created,they are more defensive in nature due to their absolutely huge size and strength.

They all have a connection to the Hivenet,a radio channel that only vaurcae can access.

I split up all of these points where you discuss different things, which makes your writing flow better. When your writing has a better flow, it is easier to read.

4. The template questions ask you to provide one paragraph minimum for each of these questions. You wrote one sentence on why you'd like to play a Vaurca, and a single paragraph on what makes them different from a human. There are...

...twenty pages, not counting the pages for the Lesser Queens, in the Vaurca lore infobox. I think you can write a lot more than one paragraph on what makes Vaurca different from humans-- not just in their biology, but in their culture. Did you know that Vaurca find it taboo to research and write down their history, and Queen Leto and Zoleth are among the few broods to start breaking that taboo by having an archive of Vaurca knowledge in VR?

Obviously, nobody is asking you to read twenty goddamn wiki pages for your funny bug app. I certainly didn't read all the lore pages when I wrote my whitelist! But it helps so much to have little details in there.

5. Your character concept needs to be expanded on, which is why I would recommend against a Viax for your application character. The point of an application character is to give them a distinct personality that shows your knowledge of the species, and in the case of Vaurca, demonstrates how the culture of your character relates to the brood. Viax are essentially mindless lobotomites; they have less personality (and it could be argued, sapience) than an IPC.

Once again, please understand that I do not do this with the intention of making you feel bad. You seem to really love this game and this setting! It makes me smile when you talk about how much you love ants and the interactions you've had with Vaurca characters. While being able to write certainly plays into being able to score a whitelist, having passion is important too. Writing can be improved; passion is a lot harder to work on.

With all that said, I have some questions for you.

1. Do you have any character concepts for an Akaix/Unbound from Xakt's brood? Or any other Akaix concepts in general?

2. Who is the Lesser Queen that interests you the most, and why?

3. Pick a hive (Zo'ra, K'lax, or C'thur) and talk about their relationship to the nation they live in (Zo'ra in Biesel, K'lax in the Hegemony, and C'thur in Nralakk). How are they treated by their government?

 

Edited July 31, 2023 by La Villa Strangiato

[CasualMemer]

Thank you very much for the constructive criticism, english is not my first language and i am not a professional writer in the slightest, but i will always keep on improving.

1: Ka'Akaix'Zip'Zo'ra of Xakt's brood is an investigator (ingame job,part-time in his lore) and coroner,he has an eye implant that allows for scanning and detection of augmentations and implants in vaurcae and other species so that he can retrieve them and bring them back to Luthien for them to be recycled into other technologies. He has a pretty hard life on Biesel considering the vaurca pay deduction,he had to get two jobs to pay for both rent and food.

He has a hard time understanding human traditions and culture,but he does understand hats,he respects and loves hats,he always makes small talk about hats whenever possible. He's always trying to be as kind as possible to his fellow co-workers.    He also has a different eye augmentation that allows for a deeper inspection of general areas and rooms,but also corpses. He has both the ''z'' and ''vh'' voice augmentation malfunctions as he cheaped out for his voice augment.

2: Leto is the most interesting queen to me as she's slowly breaking the taboo of unearthing ancient relics of vaurca history,and because about 50% of the xenoarcheologist playerbase is Leto's brood. I do like her vaurca skin colors and the fact that she's considered an entire living library.

3: Much like Unathi, K’lax are considered citizens and have the same rights and obligations, with some key differences. For both Bound and Unbound of all castes, they require the consent of their Lord to travel to the greater galaxy. The Hive Queens are legally considered Lords of Tret, and the Tas in charge of hive-cells are considered Clan Leaders. In the case of Mi’kuetz requesting to leave Hegemony territory, the consent must come from High Queen Zkaii. The process for all Vaurcae, however, is similar in that individual Tas will raise these matters to the Queens for them to approve.

Although the Mi’kuetz are tolerated within the Wastelands, for most Vaurcae traveling to Moghes or Ourea requires a special permit, often understood as a ‘work visa’, by the Unathite Clan Lord of their territory to settle. This measure was placed to contain Vaurcae in Tret, in order to prevent k’ois outbreaks in Unathi-dominated territories.

Though Hegemony law technically allows for Vaurcae to become Guwan, this in practice never happens, and instead, those deemed defective by the Hive are either culled or voided with impunity.

Most Vaurcae in the Hegemony live on Tret, a planet in Uueoa-Esa gifted to the K’lax to colonize, and its satellite, Pid. To this extent, living conditions tend to vary in both quality and architecture. Settlements on Tret, are sprawling industrial complexes, whereas Pid is known for its rapidly growing tunnel networks, constructed with adequate flooring, roofing, and ventilation in mind; rooms along with the network functioning as different facilities. As a rule of thumb, the quality tends to go up the closer in proximity the settlement is to a Queen.

In other instances, Vaurca settlements are constructed similarly to towns on Moghes or Ouerea. Architecture almost identically similar is common in these settlements with the insides of structures instead resembling rooms on-board the K’lax’s fallen Hiveship in the capital city of Tret, Ksyne'kizar, otherwise known as Kizar’s Crater. Settlements in this example are typically newer than others, as the designs became popular with Ta following urbanization efforts on Ouerea.

Outside of Tret, K’lax mostly exist in buildings designated as residences by Hegemony officials, and largely serve the sole purpose of housing Warriors or Workers (separately, never combined) for work details and related duties.

The k'lax are a vassal to the Izweski Nation,with warriors being lended to their military mostly on request.

[Desven]

Hi. First of all, sorry for the delay—didn't notice this was a Vaurca app until I saw the flair.

As LaVilla said, this application is (originally) too short. However, I've made you wait long enough to ask you to rewrite it fully. You can expand it on here.

I think your answers to LaVilla's questions are an improvement, but there are some issues I'm still noticing. Mainly, you seem to be still confused a bit with how much autonomy a Vaurca has. Also, while I like your K'lax answer, it's just a summary of the wiki pages. We don't really want that! What we're really looking for is that, in your words, you seem to grasp the concepts of a specific species.

 

So, let's try again. Here are some questions that I want you to answer in your own words.

 

1. How do you picture a day in the life of a Vaurca? What do you think they do for fun, or when they get back home? How do you think they talk with their Ta or with their peers?

2. How do you think a Vaurca  Worker would react to the following scenario: Two people in their Operations get into a beef, leading to physical punches. One of them accidentally trips and drops a box full of miscellaneous stuff, and glass breaks.

3. How do you think the hiring process of a Vaurca works?

 

Again, in your own words. This is stuff that's not explicit on the wiki, but that you can answer properly if you have a good grasp on Vaurca lore.

[CasualMemer]

Nah it's fine,i will know for next time not to use the tag for applications,anyways.

 

1: A bound's life is much more simpler than an unbound's,so,i'll start with how i think a bound's life goes: wake up in a very tight apartment,grab some breakfast in the form of something consisting of k'ois or phoron,go to work (go to the bus stop,get inside of the bus,get out of the bus when near the designated job location,walk to the designated job location,perform duties.) do work,return home,sleep.

An Unbound's life would have much more complexity,here is how i believe it would go in the same scenario: Wake up in a slightly larger apartment (the drones get paid less,and the unbounds a bit more),grab some food consisting of k'ois,chug some zo'ra soda (preferably drone fuel because they forgot to go to sleep after having a little too much toothpaste),go to the bus stop while maybe listening to some music or texting a friend ''good morning'' on their PDA,get on the bus,high-five one of your co-workers who takes the same route (unless he's/she's speciest,then the vaurca just ignores him/her),get off the bus,arrive at the same job where the bound works except in a better corporate position because of sentience,finish work,go home and perform recreational activities (Go to a toothpaste bar with hive buddies,watch the Flagsdale Hornets game on the weekend with the hive buddies,go into Virtual Reality and get mad at your co-worker for being better than you at War Games or faster than you at Trials,or just relax with gardens),and then sleep in a bed.

The other two questions,i will respond with what i think: A vaurca talks to their Ta like mother,an aunt or a grandma. A vaurca talks to their peers like buddies,with the hivenet and toothpaste bars,making vaurca friendships easier to make.

Correction to my last reply (not this one,the other one).    Ka'Akaix'Zip'Zo'ra would actually be Za'Akaix'Zip'Zo'ra because vaurcae workers are not at all suited for security positions,and the smell or sight of blood instills fear and panic in them,thus making Zip actually be a warrior type.

2: If a vaurca worker would find a violent situation,it would first emit panicked pheromones to alert the hive buddies,and call the security team to help. A worker would always try to keep itself out of violent conflict,as it knows it is not a warrior or a bulwark,it knows it's weak,and not made for stopping conflicts or fighting.

3:  A corporation will buy bound in bulk by giving the hive from where they come from money or other goods as exchange for the vaurcae,shipping them in a cargo hauler. Then proceeding to make them live closest to their job location,giving them wages and paychecks like real humans (except they get paid less than humans,and bounds get paid a lot less than unbounds). Unbounds will take job offers from corporations,going to an interview to see if they are capable of that job and then get a free shuttle ride to their new apartment and job,getting wages and paychecks like the Bound but they get paid a little more due to their sentience.

[Desven]

At the moment, I've decided to deny the application. You seem to still be missing the essence of how Vaurcae work. However, I believe you have potential. You can reapply in three days. In the meantime, you can message me or my deputies about any questions you have, approach players in game and learn about Vaurca characters ICly, or simply ask your questions at the lore Discord. And, if you wish to reapply, you can message me as soon as possible so I don't leave you hanging again. I'm really sorry about that.