I noticed a lot of passive aggression on the forums.

[Tainavaa]

So I'll quote a famous quote on this server.

"Let's not."

Thanks.

[Guest]

You're sort of late with this thread.

I guess it could help the next time we have our monthly meltdown.

[Frances]

The sad truth is few of the people engaging in passive aggression will actually read this thread, identify themselves, and curb their behavior. Especially when the issue is brought up as a vague blanket statement, without directing attention to specific cases.

Your best bet, for anyone who sees someone else being a cunt on the forums, is to either call them out (politely), or report their post. These are the two best things you can do.

[Tainavaa]

I have no interest in discussing it, pointing fingers, finding the root cause and all that. Just asking everybody to not.

[Frances]

I have no interest in discussing it, pointing fingers, finding the root cause and all that. Just asking everybody to not.

Well, suit yourself, but the best way to solve it is to bring these users to light, either to the eyes of the staff or to the community as a whole. Otherwise, it's very easy for somebody engaging in that kind of behavior to read this thread and go "oh, yeah, some other people do that, but I certainly don't."

[Cassie]

 

Okay, so. I can kiiiiinda understand Jakers thread but not this one. This one's a bit passive aggressive in itself.

I mean, I see aggression on forums, I see people not being friends and such. But I'm not quite sensing the passive aggressive... who is being passive?

[Guest]

 

Use this as a tool, as Frances already stated.

[Tainavaa]

Funny thing is Cassie, I noticed this thread can be interpreted as passive aggressive after I posted it. But really I generally prefer to stay brief unless I'm elaborating and I chose to do it in a way that amused me. Just poking fun at the server's diction.

Also, don't quote me on this but I think Jakers made his thread because of this thread.

[Guest]

I've given up on attempting to convince people whether I'm being sincere and bluntly honest with good intentions or if I'm being a passive aggressive shit.

People will think what they want to think, hear what they want to hear, etc., there's really no point in arguing that.

[Cassie]

I consider myself quite blunt, but this gets interpreted as passive-aggression. I get frustrated at times, and I end up binge eating the sugar I use to put on posts yeah? Fine, like call me aggressive but don't add the passive in front. C'mon man.

[Tainavaa]

Being blunt and being passive aggressive are on opposite sides of the spectrum.

[Cassie]

Meh, that's funny though. If I want to say something, I just say it, sometimes in a way that does not consider the feelings of the recipient. Sometimes I'm angry when I do this, sometimes I'm not but want to get something out of the way.

Also, that said, there's been times where my posts have been had any hostility in them at all and been interpreted as hostile, which made me realize it is also part perception as well. Some people are on edge about arguments to the point that a minor civil and friendly OOC disagreement can trigger a "Calm down guys!". Not sure about other people though, only they can reveal their own intentions.

What do you define as passive-aggressive Tainavaa?

[Jamini]

http://aurorastation.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=17&t=2047

You can have aggressive arguments, or you can have politely passive-aggressive approaches to debates. You cannot expect one person to do both, and you cannot expect us all to be perfectly civil at all times if people feel strongly on a matter. Pick your poison.

I've noticed a lot of people complaining about tone on the forums lately. Can we stop?

[Tainavaa]

I wouldn't say polite was an accurate descriptor. Far from it no matter how "nicely" you put a passive aggressive notion.

I have no qualms with aggression.

Passive aggression is attacking someone indirectly in some way. Usually verbally but isn't limited to it. Often times its well hidden, and from my experience, always a personal attack in that its a display of their opinion of the person without directly saying it or showing it.

[Jamini]

I'll just say it like it is then.

I'm tired of people constantly posting about how others sound when they post.

People are going to argue. People are going to have different opinions. People are going to put their opinions in different ways. Some people will always feel uncomfortable posting their opinions publicly, for fear of looking bad or being ostracized. Some people, like me, can be hyper-aggressive at times. Others can be ridiculously passive-aggressive when blocked or stopped.

You will not change this. Not without fundamentally changing human nature.

Let's allow the administration team to handle how they moderate their forums, and they can decide what tones of discussion are acceptable, or not, on the server they volunteer to run. If they want our input on how to moderate, there is no shortages of ways they can acquire it.

I am personally getting tired of people asking, or demanding, that others change how and why they speak. If you find something offensive, why not message someone direly? (Like I did with Erik not long ago. I offered an apology for our disagreement and asked that both of us try to moderate our behavior. Since the exchange we had in-game was unacceptably bad, and both of us agreed it should have been handled better OOCly.) or, if the post is bad enough, report it with the report button.

We do not need weekly discussions on forum tone. It is getting ridiculous.

[Tainavaa]

I'm very aware. There is a reason I didn't want to go further than that simple request.

Now let me tell you what bothers me.

All these assumptions. Not just you but just, everyone. Like, ask. For realsies.

Probably I should have originally mentioned but I'm not referring to tone. I'm referring to message. I couldn't care less about your tone?

Actually I'd just like to commend Cassie right now. She was assuming at first but then decided to ask for more information instead of assume more. That is the first time someone has actually asked for clarification before making a presumptuous response. Thank you. I really do mean that, that does not happen nearly enough.

[Guest]

I find that tone policing is a bigger issue than attitude is.

[Tainavaa]

I'm detached enough from it to say that the only thing I know about it is that it exists and people are trying to do it. It is that irrelevant to me.