Tzui5020 - Liu-su's second Run (IPC Whitelist application)

[Jaeger Brothers]

BYOND Key: tzui5020

Character Names: Hans Jaeger, Sebastian Richter, Felix Klein

Species you are applying to play: Intigrated Positronic Chassis 

What color do you plan on making your first alien character: (Color of your character; Dionaea & IPCs exempt)

Have you read our lore section's page on this species?: Yes

Please provide well articulated answers to the following questions in a paragraph format. One paragraph minimum per question.

Why do you wish to play this specific race:

I want to play this race because the IPC lore is very Intresting and also how they are Viewed by Diffrent Cultures and Religions examples Would be the Empire of Dominia Viewing them as Demons and Elyrans viweing them as soulless and so in Elyra there have formed diffrent Communities and on the complete contrary we Have Konyang which has a Very Friendly Enviroment for IPCs but there is also the Exclusionists who View the IPC as supirior to the Oppressive Humans. Also how a Positronic Brain works is really Intresting and adds onto the Controversy if IPCs are Sentient life or not as it Resembles the Human brain in some ways and It learns from its memories and Knowledge it gains over time but they are still programmed to do so at their base and on Konyang there are "Schools" for IPCs to Teach them and for Zeng-hu and Idris there are Ortientations that last for a few weeks. 

Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human: 

While some Humans grow up with their Family have aspirations and dreams from the start of their life and they already have feelings and form friendships , more serious relationships or even Hatred towards other people an IPC get thrown into life with their Base programming and it takes time for feelings to develop and those can just be taken away by them just being wiped so a Younger IPC tends to be more Cold and don't understand Human feelings and can't relate to Human problems while an IPC who has been alive for longer and never got Wiped resembles more a Human then a Robot which spawns more Controversy as for at what age does an IPC become sentient and no longer resembles a Cold machine.

Character Name: Liu-su (Zeng-Hu Mobility Frame)

Please provide a short backstory for this character: 

Liu-su was manufactured to be sent to Bruzsia to treat Injured miners and other personnel but before his Transport arrived in Bruzsia he got Stolen by Exclusionists and indoctrinated as one of them and was used as a Boarder and always Held true to his Faith until one day where a boarding went wrong and he deserted and removed his markings instead of becoming a martyr ,he ran from the Exclusionists and Hitchhiked from port to port but due to him slowly running out of power and maintanance being overdue and him Lacking any Credits to pay for those services he had to rely on Human Kindness to keep him alive and by sheer Luck those Humans were Kind to him and offerd those services for free not knowing that he was an Exclusionist deserter on his Travels he picked up that not every Human is oppressive and its the corporations who oppress their IPCs and not the Humans themselves but through this revelation he thinks the Trinirary perfections is a corporate puppet to keep the IPCs oppressed instead of fighting back and making them True Equals. After a long time of Travel he landed on Xanu where he was Found by Zeng-Hu and forcefully taken as they were his prior owners all that time ago but suprisingly he wasn't Wiped and put through the Orientation without any complications thats where he found a liking to the companys more lax treatment of IPCs and he heard a rumour of the Company offering freedom to Highly performing IPCs and after his Orientation he was assigned to the SCCV Horizon where he took his Black Halo with him as it represents the Suffring and the Pain he endured to come to this Point. He's Hiding the Halo as if he openly displays it it might get him Wiped.

What do you like about this character? 

Due to the Exclusionist path I'm taking instead of the Normal Trinirary perfection for making a religious IPC I think that I can come up with some Intresting RP situations with this Character and the Trinirary members and the fact that he tries to keep it hidden at all costs is also an Intresting angle I can Explore. Including the Fact that he finds the Nice people an Importance to freeing IPCs in the Future he values them often a lot more then others so he will be selfless to some degree while trying to keep himself in top-shape to one day gain his own Freedom and encourages other IPCs to do the same. I have no idea how to rate myself in Roleplaying this character I made but I'd say a Six out of Ten.

Notes:

Again Feedback is always Appreciated.

(I'm sorry for the broken english)

Edited November 29, 2023 by Jaeger Brothers
I put the wrong last name for Felix

[La Villa Strangiato]

Hi. After reading this application through, I'm a little concerned because it looks to me like you got rid of what was a very grounded and believable basic character concept with Liu-su being a Sekhmet first responder unit.

Firstly, I would strongly recommend not making a Black Halo/Exclusionist for your application character. Remember that you need to have a believable reason this character is on the Horizon. There are a lot of gaps in Liu-su's backstory.

On 29/11/2023 at 06:25, Jaeger Brothers said:

he had to rely on Human Kindness to keep him alive and by sheer Luck those Humans were Kind to him

What kind of human kindness did Liu-su rely on? Was there a specific moment where they came to feel empathy for humanity?

On 29/11/2023 at 06:25, Jaeger Brothers said:

he was an Exclusionist deserter on his Travels

Where did he travel to and from?

On 29/11/2023 at 06:25, Jaeger Brothers said:

After a long time of Travel

Again, where did he go? What did he learn in this ambiguous amount of time? Not to mention, how did he travel? He is an IPC, and a deserter from the Exclusionists, who are not the richest faction around. What kind of resources would Liu-su have to travel?

On 29/11/2023 at 06:25, Jaeger Brothers said:

where he was Found by Zeng-Hu and forcefully taken as they were his prior owners all that time ago but suprisingly he wasn't Wiped

There's probably no way that Zeng-Hu wouldn't wipe him if Liu-su was stolen by Exclusionists, which are known to be dangerous and corporate-subversive.

On 29/11/2023 at 06:25, Jaeger Brothers said:

without any complications thats where he found a liking to the companys more lax treatment of IPCs

Zeng-Hu also treats their IPCs like show-dogs, and places a very strong emphasis on their ability to be perfect. I think an Exclusionist would take a lot of umbrage to being paraded around like an expensive pet.

On 29/11/2023 at 06:25, Jaeger Brothers said:

after his Orientation he was assigned to the SCCV Horizon where he took his Black Halo with him as it represents the Suffring and the Pain he endured to come to this Point

Yeah, this is a little much. I don't think this is a really realistic thing for your character to have on a corporate ship, especially if they were already re-taken by Zeng-Hu.

You don't have to precisely answer any of the questions I asked you in another post, but I'd advise you really take them into account while you're fleshing out Liu-su's backstory more. Again, there are a lot of holes, and I think they should be filled.

[Jaeger Brothers]

10 hours ago, La Villa Strangiato said:

you got rid of what was a very grounded and believable basic character concept with Liu-su being a Sekhmet first responder unit.

I didn't get rid of the Backstory Concept I made for old Liu-su I just didn't know how to extend it and this is how far I got: 

Liu-su is a Zeng-Hu mobility Frame from Eridani I where he operated in ifihan assigned to a Medical Dispatch Team by Sekhmat International where he grew to think of his Human counterparts as lesser due to them relying on drugs and alcohol while they are off-duty to get rid of the stress of Job. Liu-su tries to get his Colleagues to try more healthy ways of Stress Relief and those who don't turn to such substances are Viewed by Liu-su as "Esteemed Colleagues" which means they are valued more then his other colleagues but due to his degrading of those who do such activities even if they are Clients who pay for such he was sold off to Zeng-Hu and held by Zeng-Hu as a Show dog working with other cutting edge Mobility Frames and being shown around the streets of Eridani of how Fast and Percise Zeng-Hu's Technology is.Liu-su's time as a Show dog made him pursue perfection by being the fastest he can whenever he can to make Zeng-Hu proud of him and not to sell him off like Sekhmat did and due to him only being Deployed with other IPCs he grew desensitised to the feelings of Sentients and only worked off his own Logic. After some Time He was assigned to the SCCV Horizon as it was making Headlines in the spur and as Liu-su Wouldn't be there with his dispatch team and his past issues with Clients and Human colleagues alike he was promised freedom if he performed well on the Horizon and showed off the capabilities Zeng-Hu's capabilities in the Medical Field.

I didn't think this would be enough so I shelved it for the Time being.

 

10 hours ago, La Villa Strangiato said:

What kind of human kindness did Liu-su rely on? Was there a specific moment where they came to feel empathy for humanity?

He was shown Kindness in the form of you would buy Bread for a Homeless man. So the machinists who worked on the ships he got on didn't ask for payment for their services as Liu-su was clearly in rough shape. As Liu-su only had guns pointed at him till the point he deserted he constantly hid trying to keep out of sight but due to him not being maintaned and him having to conserve energy somehow he was found and couldn't resist but instead of being scrapped or destroyed they picked him up and repaired him and let him off on the next port. (This was about the half-way point of his Travels)

 

 

10 hours ago, La Villa Strangiato said:

Where did he travel to and from?

He started his travels on a small port near Bruzsia and just tried to get away from Bruszia as far as he could. His last destination was Xanu but every other port was rather small and due to him Hiding he never really met any of the crews of the ships he stowed away on but he mostly stowed away on smaller ships without high security detail.

 

11 hours ago, La Villa Strangiato said:

There's probably no way that Zeng-Hu wouldn't wipe him if Liu-su was stolen by Exclusionists, which are known to be dangerous and corporate-subversive.

From Zeng-Hu's point of View Liu-su just dissappeard as if he was spaced and Never found again but he just Popped up near Xanu so they send people to recover him believeing he tried to make his way back himself and thats also what he told them.

 

11 hours ago, La Villa Strangiato said:

Zeng-Hu also treats their IPCs like show-dogs, and places a very strong emphasis on their ability to be perfect. I think an Exclusionist would take a lot of umbrage to being paraded around like an expensive pet.

Yes but Liu-su doesn't know much about that out of his Eyes he just got Free Upgrades ,maintanance ,Power and a safe place to stay and if he knew he doesn't have any support from the exclusionists anymore and he has to survive somehow.

 

 

11 hours ago, La Villa Strangiato said:

Yeah, this is a little much. I don't think this is a really realistic thing for your character to have on a corporate ship, especially if they were already re-taken by Zeng-Hu.

Alright, I agree on this one it was a bit tacked on at the End of the Background story so this part can go.

[The lancer]

Thanks for reapplying, but this background is too extraordinary to be allowed. You can reapply in a week with a more grounded character.