Jump to content

The (Order of the) Clairvoyant

Recommended Posts

Type (e.g. Planet, Faction, System): Faction

Founding/Settlement Date (if applicable): Jan 01, 427 AD

Region of Space: Outside Known Space

Controlled by (if not a faction): The Purple Queen

Other Snapshot information: My own personal race bound wiz lore, Jack said I should put in up for canonization.

The premise of this lore is basically "blue space accident gone horribly right." The people who end up on the new planet are people who already had magical powers, which as far as I know isn't explained by our lore, and it gets enhanced by a blue space anomaly, and they get warped to the other end of the anomaly.

Its also my own personal idea that blue space can be used to pass through time, if this is completely incorrect, theres pretty much no way around it the way I wrote this, so, feel free to immediately make this denied if thats the case.

Also please excuse any instances of them being called "the order" because they used to have a different name, I haven't got around to changing everything.

Long Description: Google Doc

Link to comment
  • 2 months later...
  • 4 weeks later...

ALRIGHT, let's get started:


The Order started over 2000 years ago, where a group of six Tajarans found themselves to be special in a way. They had very rudimentary abilities to move small things, like pebbles and stones with their minds, and read thoughts of some.

How did they 'find' themselves? Did they just wake up one morning realizing everything was floating around them? Were they the kind of Tajara to randomly focus on objects hoping one day they'd be able to lift them with their minds? How did they learn of their powers, how did they OBTAIN their powers (though on this one I'd accept a slight handwave, divine intervention style) and most importantly, how did they train/know to use their powers for them to be significant enough to be worth showing?


This gift was shunned by the other Tajarans, they were seen as freaks and monsters.

This dives into Sue's comment of being killed for witchcraft. I'm not a Tajara lore expert, but from what I can tell by skimming the history, the Tajara weren't known for resolving things peacefully. If they were rejected and seen and freaks and monsters, it makes very little sense for them to be able to stay alive on Adhomai for extended periods of time.


They trained for years and years and years, but their abilities near really grew beyond what they already had, even it they took their whole lives practicing.

This part though I like. People don't take the whole "acquired, static powers" line often enough.


They knew that could move rocks, so they hoped that if they gathered their forces, they could move themselves as well. They waited until a night where there was a night with a shooting star, and they did it then, hoping they would land on it. Their names were lost to history, and so were their bodies, and their abilities. Time and history erased them, gone now.

I also quite like this part - however, given the line about being killed because they'd be seen as monsters, it would make more sense to have this be more of an "Oh my god they're going to kill us" type of escape plan than a "Fuck you guys we're awesome" departure.


Thats what the Tajarans think anyway. In reality, they ended up on a planet, oh so far away.

Good sentiment, bad formulation. Would be more interesting if you wrote it as a first person type of explanation (That's what they thought, anyway. Truth is, we ended up on a world at distances unknown). But that's just me. Moving on.


They called this planet Rumah Baru, and the found something amazing there. A slime colony, slimes of all varieties growing there, and even adamantium golems. Something about Rumah Baru amplified their abilities.

A lot of handwaving, and too clear definitions for a group of what feels like medieval catpeople. Again, just me, but it would be better formulated like this: "We called this planet Rumah Baru, and found incredible things. Creatures not of flesh but of slime, with some of them even assuming shapes not unlike ours. And our gifts seemed to be amplified by this land."


Months passed, and the slimes started to die, and tower cap forests grew in their place,with the slimes fleeing and the forests taking over their home, the golems started to migrate.

Run-on sentence, and again, too clear realizations. It feels more like an OOC explanation than a true lore explanation, to me.


Again at curiosity’s sake, they followed. When they got back with them, they found baby slimes crawling through the tower cap forests, and the golems taking the forests apart.

I have to say though, of this whole text, this whole ordeal is my favorite part. The true homeworld of the slimes, in an unknown place, complete with a strange reproductive cycle. I love the whole insight on the slimes. That alone, if this application isn't accepted, I am going to re-submit, expanded, and giving you credit. But yes - Rumah Baru itself is a creation I absolutely adore.


just like the first, they didn’t even try to leave Adhomai, they just moved without their own will. The new group told them that they knew who they all were, and that they themselves also had the gift, and that they were looking for them when they ended up on Rumah Baru. They were delighted to hear that their tale was told on Adhomai, even hundreds of years after they were assumed dead and gone. Then, they were told something troubling, that they had only been searching for months, and that they heard the tale of them, from those they knew. They were here of Rumah Baru for life times, and on Adhomai not even one year had passed since they were gone.

This passage, while it could be written better, I also enjoy, for two main reasons: one, it directly contradicts the earlier parts of the text ("Their names were lost to history, and so were their bodies, and their abilities. Time and history erased them, gone now."). With this piece of lore written more as a history diary of young children leaving Adhomai with powers and living a full life on a strange world, this could SERIOUSLY be an incredible piece of "hidden" lore.

The second is the whole time dilation thing. If they lived there for lifetimes while only a year on Adhomai would have passed, we could say it two ways: as you said, Bluespace has time-altering properties... Or Rumah Baru could simply be a world located on the edge of a bluespace singularity (black hole). Which actually fits with something I planned on submitting eventually. But still - I like that concept.

Anyhow - while this piece of lore I find needs to be worked on a little, I absolutely love the concepts behind it and fully support it's canonization once the little details are kinked out.

Though I also offer you to help you rewrite it to a format that would be better suited. PM me if you want to take up my offer.

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...
This topic is now closed to further replies.
  • Create New...