LordRaven001's Vaurca Application

[LordRaven001]

BYOND Key: LordRaven001

Character Names: Night That Shatters Days, Embracing The Rain, Akero'Ceyta Veeta'Pleat, Keta'Ceet Ple'Teh, Arthur Whitemane, WHITEMANE (Cyborg), Whitemane(ERT), Archon (AI),Azeir Sssinzar, Kota Vimleel, Thtithik Pakseech, Korlas Lassei

Special Roles/Antag Characters: PVT Whitemane (Space Marine), Tihichiehk "Tich" (Vox Raider), Archon (PAI)

Species you are applying to play: Vaurca

What color do you plan on making your first alien character (Dionaea & IPCs exempt): Black

Have you read our lore section's page on this species?: Yes

---

---

Please provide well articulated answers to the following questions in a paragraph format. One paragraph minimum per question

Why do you wish to play this specific race: I want to play this specific race because I have always enjoyed the look of the Vaurca aswell as the mechanics and how they speak, There hive system is also pretty cool and I think I can roleplay it well, The lore is fantastic with the different hives clashing against each other ever since they were initated into the Server,

Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human: There are two types of Vaurca, Bound and Unbound, Bound Vaurca are like cyborgs, They do not have there own thought process or will and are completely controlled by the hive or people that order them, They can also only play civlian jobs with the exception of Engineering Apprentice and Medical Intern Then there is the unbound the more human aspect of the Vaurca, They can be any job and do anything, They do not have to listen to orders from anyone and are torn from the VR known as Paradise.

 

---

---

Character Name: Za'Akaix'Azaeh Zo'ra

Please provide a short backstory for this character, approximately 2 paragraphs

Ka'Akaix'Azaeh Zo'ra was torn from paradise, The shroud covering its eyes broken, Its dreams of remaining bound, Severed, It can no long serve the hive with the utmost obedience but it will still serve the hive, Yes, It will, When Ka'Akaix'Azaeh Zo'ra was torn from the veil of paradise it was a guard, warrior to fight for the many breeders in the clan protecting the eggs making sure no harm came to them from an enemy hive, This is what he was doing before its misfortune came, Once it arrived the dreaded day, It was pushed off, Unbound.

When he had left paradise since he was of the Zo'Ra hive and there connection to Nanotransen he was sent to nanotransen to work on one of there space stations, Ka'Akaix'Azaeh Zo'ra who is specialized in guarding was placed into the security cadets after it finished its basic training they were elevated to the rank of Security officer, At that point they returned to the hive on a visitation hoping to take pleasure in paradise once again, Almost reaching its hive it met another one of its species a Vaurca by the name of Ka'Akaix'Zah Zo'ra they both were assigned to the same station they became friends, Destined to work for Nanotransen Ka'Akaix'Azaeh Zo'ra did not fight it and only accepted it, Living out its days working, guarding, watching.

What do you like about this character? His resistance to being unbound only to accept it later by meeting another unbound as they are so rare in the Vaurca hives.

How would you rate your role-playing ability? 8/10

---

---

Notes: I enjoy positive and negative feedback, It helps me learn and improve. (Sorry about my backstory I wrote this up when I was really tired from an all nighter, If its not good please give me some tips by posting a reply and I will surely improve off of it, Thank you again!)

Edited February 16, 2016 by Guest

[SleepyWolf]

I agree with this application completely because Lordybabe is so good and amazing and I've roleplayed so much is great yes definitel y 1+++++

[Loow]

I am filled with emotional and philosophical conflict by this application. Allow me work out my feelings

First off, I've interacted with two of your Unathi. Vimleel is a nice, sociable doctor with a habit of offering a toothy smile. I've had limited interaction, but he sees to be a good guy. I've not had enough interaction to say he's one of my favorites or least favorites, but he's noticeable. He's not bad, but I just haven't had the chance to see much of the substance behind him, if there is any. (And I feel like there is.)

Now for the other guy. Thtithik Pakseech. Only times I've ever seen him, he's been moody. That may just be the character, and that's fine. However, he's made a few odd moves. He's an engineer, right? I've seen him take care of people as if he were a doctor. Scanning them, being insistent about their treatment, the works. He could just be a jerk, which is fine, but he has that smell like he's an alt-character. Like the player's not comfortable being helpless in medical situations. Like he's making the engineer a liiiittle bit too familiar with medicine and treatment.

LR, you've asked for feedback and this is what I have to offer.

Practice being "out of your element" for a while.

Also tweak your background if you're not comfortable with how it reads. You mentioned you were tired when you made it. Make it something you can like looking back on. Be the best techno-ant you can be.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go tweak some characters and not turn in any new apps.

[LordRaven001]

I am filled with emotional and philosophical conflict by this application. Allow me work out my feelings

First off, I've interacted with two of your Unathi. Vimleel is a nice, sociable doctor with a habit of offering a toothy smile. I've had limited interaction, but he sees to be a good guy. I've not had enough interaction to say he's one of my favorites or least favorites, but he's noticeable. He's not bad, but I just haven't had the chance to see much of the substance behind him, if there is any. (And I feel like there is.)

Now for the other guy. Thtithik Pakseech. Only times I've ever seen him, he's been moody. That may just be the character, and that's fine. However, he's made a few odd moves. He's an engineer, right? I've seen him take care of people as if he were a doctor. Scanning them, being insistent about their treatment, the works. He could just be a jerk, which is fine, but he has that smell like he's an alt-character. Like the player's not comfortable being helpless in medical situations. Like he's making the engineer a liiiittle bit too familiar with medicine and treatment.

LR, you've asked for feedback and this is what I have to offer.

Practice being "out of your element" for a while.

Also tweak your background if you're not comfortable with how it reads. You mentioned you were tired when you made it. Make it something you can like looking back on. Be the best techno-ant you can be.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go tweak some characters and not turn in any new apps.

 

Thank you so much for your feedback Loow, I'll improve to make Pakseech less knowledgable at medical, I enjoy helping people and making sure the round is fun for everbody so when Medical staff are neglecting a dying patient I step in out of instinct Ill also make Pakseech less moody, The reason why Pakseech is always moody is because people always hurt his friends for no reason and he feels an oath to protect them, Ill read over my backstory and if I do not like it ill change it, But thank you so much for your feedback!

[TaToBa]

He seems cool enough

sure whynot

+1

[Thesir]

I also enjoy the lore surrounding the techno-ants, so your interest in that aspect of the race resonates with me. I'm more interested in the unbound vaurca as well, so I'm down for more of them being around.

As for your personal ability, I think that you are a very competent, if not good, role-player from what I've seen. I've interacted with Pakseech a handful of times, including after Loow's suggestions, and think that he is well-played. I always enjoy seeing him around because he's interesting and I want to know more about him. Archon is as well done as AI get, too, I believe. Doesn't seem to be powergamey or detached from the station experience, although I don't often interact with AIs. Tich, your Vox character, was active in one of my favorite rounds. He interacted with the crew in a believably rational manner, but still got what he came for and made it away with his loot. As I understand it, that's the goal of the Vox as a people, so you couldn't have done better.

I apologize for not having much constructive criticism, but I've really not had the time with any of your characters to notice any particularly negative facets of their portrayal. I think you'll do fine with a vaurca.

[LordRaven001]

I also enjoy the lore surrounding the techno-ants, so your interest in that aspect of the race resonates with me. I'm more interested in the unbound vaurca as well, so I'm down for more of them being around.

As for your personal ability, I think that you are a very competent, if not good, role-player from what I've seen. I've interacted with Pakseech a handful of times, including after Loow's suggestions, and think that he is well-played. I always enjoy seeing him around because he's interesting and I want to know more about him. Archon is as well done as AI get, too, I believe. Doesn't seem to be powergamey or detached from the station experience, although I don't often interact with AIs. Tich, your Vox character, was active in one of my favorite rounds. He interacted with the crew in a believably rational manner, but still got what he came for and made it away with his loot. As I understand it, that's the goal of the Vox as a people, so you couldn't have done better.

I apologize for not having much constructive criticism, but I've really not had the time with any of your characters to notice any particularly negative facets of their portrayal. I think you'll do fine with a vaurca.

 

Thank you so much for this positive post Thesir, And your feedback, I try to make the round fun for everyone and not murder and kill on antag rounds but instead steal or imprison, Pakseech is one of my childish fun type of characters that I really just try to have fun with, Sometimes it people are doing stupid things I act moody on Pakseech, And archon is a sourt of friendly AI that the only time I play him other then AI Is to service drinks, So its also pretty cheery, Thank you again so much for this positive post.

[Talkarcabbage]

Thtithik Pakseech. I feel like Thtithik (if it's the character I'm thinking of) spends too much time messing around with things (s?)he shouldn't. If (s)he's not an antag, (s)he should probably stay in his(er) department. If joining as an engineer, stay in engineering or be wiring solars or fixing stuff. I feel like most rounds I see Thtithik running off with Zah, doing something strange or illegal, and ending up being taken in by security, which is a little unnatural if it happens every shift. I can understand it if people are just trying to be rude ICly at you and you respond to it, but still, your character wouldn't be able to hold a station engineer position if they didn't do their job.

One other thing. If you ever try to operate as interim chief engineer (or any departmental head really, even a quartermaster) (and assuming you're not an antagonist), maintain communications with the other engineers. Chief engineer is responsible for keeping the engineering team organized, looking after them, and making sure they do their jobs, not just for having an RCD and a fancy ass suit that makes it so that you can't carry metal with you.

Aside from the slight ignoring of duty, your roleplay seems decent on its own. I think you could improve by making sure you fulfill the responsibilities of whatever your job is for the shift (antagonist aside, obviously).

I feel like I've seen some of your other characters around occasionally, but not enough to make great decisions about them. I feel like I might have posted on another of your apps with something similar.

--------------------

It would be great if you could use periods in your application instead of a million run-ons with commas everywhere. Grammar Nazi issue.

[LordRaven001]

Thtithik Pakseech. I feel like Thtithik (if it's the character I'm thinking of) spends too much time messing around with things (s?)he shouldn't. If (s)he's not an antag, (s)he should probably stay in his(er) department. If joining as an engineer, stay in engineering or be wiring solars or fixing stuff. I feel like most rounds I see Thtithik running off with Zah, doing something strange or illegal, and ending up being taken in by security, which is a little unnatural if it happens every shift. I can understand it if people are just trying to be rude ICly at you and you respond to it, but still, your character wouldn't be able to hold a station engineer position if they didn't do their job.

One other thing. If you ever try to operate as interim chief engineer (or any departmental head really, even a quartermaster) (and assuming you're not an antagonist), maintain communications with the other engineers. Chief engineer is responsible for keeping the engineering team organized, looking after them, and making sure they do their jobs, not just for having an RCD and a fancy ass suit that makes it so that you can't carry metal with you.

Aside from the slight ignoring of duty, your roleplay seems decent on its own. I think you could improve by making sure you fulfill the responsibilities of whatever your job is for the shift (antagonist aside, obviously).

I feel like I've seen some of your other characters around occasionally, but not enough to make great decisions about them. I feel like I might have posted on another of your apps with something similar.

--------------------

It would be great if you could use periods in your application instead of a million run-ons with commas everywhere. Grammar Nazi issue.

 

Understood, Thank you so much for this constructive feedback. I will work on doing my duty more often and the grammar things. Pakseech is my character who is sort of a Test Character sort to speak, Not one of the characters I would pride myself on, Thank you again for your feedback,

[Filthyfrankster]

My most worst and knowing experience with you has been with Thtithik, If I can remember correctly, He KILLED someone as a non-antag as a certain security unathi by the name of Zubari overheard Yinzr asking Thithik to finish and KILL some poor sap who was mauled by Yinzr for 'offending his wife and honor'. Which Thtithik agreed to.

And then I remember your original unathi, Stating how you liked combat mechanics and the whole honor system gig. Giving you a race with a 30 brute gore bite is something I'd like to be looked over heavily by other lore members.

For now, -1

[LordRaven001]

My most worst and knowing experience with you has been with Thtithik, If I can remember correctly, He KILLED someone as a non-antag as a certain security unathi by the name of Zubari overheard Yinzr asking Thithik to finish and KILL some poor sap who was mauled by Yinzr for 'offending his wife and honor'. Which Thtithik agreed to.

And then I remember your original unathi, Stating how you liked combat mechanics and the whole honor system gig. Giving you a race with a 30 brute gore bite is something I'd like to be looked over heavily by other lore members.

For now, -1

 

Hiya, I don't remember killing somebody as a non-antag or killing somebody even in general as Pakseech, I tend to play my characters as a non-killing type as killing ruins the round for other players, Could you please elaborate on which round this is so I can remember, Thanks again for your comment and if you give me more details on this whole incident I could hope to improve on it, Stating that I've killed somebody but not giving me tips or notifying me which round so I can explain the situation isn't constructive and I really would enjoy improving myself, Thanks again for your post, And the thing with Yinzr and his wife I was a Traitor at the time of that incident if I recall correctly, I didn't kill the bartender like he wanted me to, I didn't once lay a finger on him, I was put to sleep by Xinc for when I fought a security member, I was straight jacketed and handcuffed on the crew transfer shuttle.

Pakseech is also one of those characters that I do not pride myself on and that I was using to test out different parts of the RP, After the CCIA Investigation I plan on retiring Pakseech as she causes more problems then solutions, Also my Original Unathi was Azeir Ssinzar who was a disgraced albino Unathi and I never used him in combat before, Can you please tell me were you got me stating that I enjoyed the combat system and honor gig, Your post has little to no constructive feedback to improve off of, If you could please reply with constructive things so I may improve my characters, Telling me that I wouldn't do good with a "Gore Bite" as you call it is quite offensive to me that you think I am only applying for this race because of a bite function, Not because of the RP it will bring. Pakseech is the only problem character I've had in my time on Aurora so if you could again send feedback so I may improve my other characters off of this learning experience, Thank you.

[Filthyfrankster]

My most worst and knowing experience with you has been with Thtithik, If I can remember correctly, He KILLED someone as a non-antag as a certain security unathi by the name of Zubari overheard Yinzr asking Thithik to finish and KILL some poor sap who was mauled by Yinzr for 'offending his wife and honor'. Which Thtithik agreed to.

And then I remember your original unathi, Stating how you liked combat mechanics and the whole honor system gig. Giving you a race with a 30 brute gore bite is something I'd like to be looked over heavily by other lore members.

For now, -1

 

Hiya, I don't remember killing somebody as a non-antag or killing somebody even in general as Pakseech, I tend to play my characters as a non-killing type as killing ruins the round for other players, Could you please elaborate on which round this is so I can remember, Thanks again for your comment and if you give me more details on this whole incident I could hope to improve on it, Stating that I've killed somebody but not giving me tips or notifying me which round so I can explain the situation isn't constructive and I really would enjoy improving myself, Thanks again for your post, And the thing with Yinzr and his wife I was a Traitor at the time of that incident if I recall correctly, I didn't kill the bartender like he wanted me to, I didn't once lay a finger on him, I was put to sleep by Xinc for when I fought a security member, I was straight jacketed and handcuffed on the crew transfer shuttle.

Pakseech is also one of those characters that I do not pride myself on and that I was using to test out different parts of the RP, After the CCIA Investigation I plan on retiring Pakseech as she causes more problems then solutions, Also my Original Unathi was Azeir Ssinzar who was a disgraced albino Unathi and I never used him in combat before, Can you please tell me were you got me stating that I enjoyed the combat system and honor gig, Your post has little to no constructive feedback to improve off of, If you could please reply with constructive things so I may improve my characters, Telling me that I wouldn't do good with a "Gore Bite" as you call it is quite offensive to me that you think I am only applying for this race because of a bite function, Not because of the RP it will bring. Pakseech is the only problem character I've had in my time on Aurora so if you could again send feedback so I may improve my other characters off of this learning experience, Thank you.

 

You weren't a traitor? Huh, Guess it was too much of a chucklefuck for me to notice your antag text at the end of that round. So I recede my -1 for the time being, I'll see with Yinzr about the issue and see what they say. Sorry about the whole mix up.

As for the app, Jackboot and I remember it like that before suggestion you change it up a little bit.

[LordRaven001]

Thank you for receding your -1, Seventy five percent of the reasons why I post an application is so I can hear feedback and improve my roleplay negative or positive ill always try to improve based upon it, At the end of the day we all come here to have fun playing a game, Thank you again.

[SilverTalismen]

Application Approved, Looks like a great character, permission to buzz given!