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Broadcast 258

Rogue Admiral: A Fighter for Freedom?


It's finally happened, Tau Ceti!

Someone's finally standing up to the bigwigs in Unity Station, and guess who it is? Their own Admiral! That's right, Admiral David Gray has told the people who hold his leash that he's had enough. He was one of the highest authorities of Sol and that lingering promise of violence they have the nerve to call a navy. He knew the ins and outs of that wolf's den for years, and now he's finally erasing some of those black marks the Alliance likes to use to obscure our views and hide the truth. Not only is he bringing that paperwork to our doorstep, but he's brought himself along with it! That's right, my fellow Bieselittes! Rogue Admiral Gray may be trapped in a place they dare to call "Unity", but the Embassy he's holed up in is as good as being on our soil.

We need to take the information this Great Defector's given us and realize a few simple facts. First of all, the Sol Alliance is no more full of unity than their capital. If an Admiral of the dreaded Alliance Navy is willing to fight the good fight for freedom everywhere, you can bet that they already have a few more "Rogues" in power.

Next thing to know is that Sol can not keep control of their own interests.

The Sol Alliance would have you think its armada is vast enough to bully anyone they think they own into a state of dependency. It's canons threatening enough to bend anyone to their will... That's what the people of Sol would like you to think, but recent history has proven it anything but true.

Wake up, Biesel! Our Republic alone is proof that any "property of Sol" can split away.

And what about the ships they had in Tajara space? Where are they now? What about Unathi space? That's right, Cetians, they're back where they belong. Back in their own damn space.

The zealous activists of Admohai and the headstrong tactics of the Hegemony have managed to convince Mr. Chater that his people can't push their systems around anymore. Sol is retracting its hungry hands back to their own systems. The Unathi people now have room to grow. The Tajara now how space to breathe. The Jargon Federation works hand in hand with the Sol Alliance, ensuring that each party is close enough to stick a knife in the other's back if need be. And the Vaurca? They're far enough from our squabbles to avoid Sol Oppression... for the moment.

The Sol Alliance want us to think it can just take anything it wants, but that's not the case. We've proven that any of their "interests" can fight them off provided they're loud enough to be heard and determined enough to keep fighting. If any of you proud citizens find yourself in Unity Station, make sure to drop by our Embassy and let show a little support for our newest immigrant. Something tells me Admiral Gray is going to be with us for a long, long time.

So what parting words do I have for you today, Tau Ceti?

Stay loud. Stay determined.

This broadcast was recorded 2.21.2458 in Republic of Biesel space. Opinions stated in this broadcast are not necessarily those of broadcast sponsors.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Broadcast 265

Humans Marry Humans: A Show for ATLAS Votes


Our boys and girls in Congress just gave us something new to think on, Tau Ceti.

According to this freshly passed legislation, the Republic of Biesel does not recognize marriages between Humans and Xenos. That's right. Just over 70% of the vote landed in favor of the so called "Humans Marry Humans" bill earlier this day.

So what does this mean for us, Cetians? How does this impact our daily lives?

We hardly have droves of humans who try to seek out marriages with non-humans. Most cases of xenophilia sprout from the odd deep space workplace or occasional bleeding heart activist. Has this trend become common enough that we have to spend floor-time debating it? The numbers are out there, people, and they're not that high. If we look at overall populations, nearly all sapiens keep relationships within their own species.That goes for everyone. S., T., and U. Sapiens included.

So why would the Tau Ceti Congress suddenly take an interest in passing legislation on this issue? To answer that, look at what's happening in the universe. What time is always right around the corner for politicians? Voting season. And who just won Sol's voting season? You guessed it! People that like the idea of a politician who draws a line between Humanity and anyone else.

Isolationist Chater and GAIA may have won the Alliance, but they stand shoulder to shoulder with Sol-born human supremacist group ATLAS, who also manage to give enough right answers to the Sol people to secure their own footing in Sol politics.

Now our own politicians are trying to sell us the Sol brand. They've drawn a pretty little line with this bill and each candidate's shown just where they stand. Our Congress knows anyone who agrees with ATLAS' social views is going to get a boost in votes from a good deal of our Sol-born citizens, so they're hopping onto the fads of old Terra to try and sway the people to vote for them.

In eyes of lot of ATLAS supporters, Republicans have been offering too many opportunities for non-humans with their legislation. Republican Dorna Bakers offered Unathi the chance to pledge loyalty and it looks like that privilege may be extended to more soon. The upcoming Republican agenda includes opening relations with Adhomai even further as well.

So how does a Republican win an ATLAS supporter's vote? By passing legislation that keeps non-humans separate from humans and making a big show of it.

Now what about the Democrats? Are they standing up against Sol influence by denying this legislation? No. No, they are not. The Social Democrats and their party are insistent in their need for close ties to Sol. Many of them are even treacherous enough to suggest going back to life under Sol rule! To them, any bill that falls in line with Alliance politics is as good to them as step toward annexation.

The Democrats did not feel a need to impress the ATLAS supporters because they already do stand for rejoining Sol. Republicans? They proposed this bill in the hopes of swaying some of those Sol immigrants toward their side. Even if members of both parties approved the bill, this is their routine now. After this vote, both sides will be competing for voters with ties to Sol or ATLAS.

So sit back and watch our Congressmen scramble, fellow Bieselittes.

After all, this show is being put on just for you.

This broadcast was recorded 2.26.2458 in Republic of Biesel space. Opinions stated in this broadcast are not necessarily those of broadcast sponsors.

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Broadcast 274

Presidential Election Results: Dorn Stole Your Vote


The numbers are in and they smell rotten.

You, me, and everyone else in this Republic has been robbed.

There's not a soul between Biesel and New Gibson that hasn't seen the sorry state of this economy. Citizens and residents are having their jobs swept from under them just to watch them get snatched up by workers who just hopped off a shuttle on the promise of three Thaller wages and a starry sky.

"President" Joseph Dorn has made it clear that he sees hard working humans getting uprooted is just business as usual. He made it clear that he wanted to bring more Tajara into our workplaces without raising their wages closer to a human's salary. PEOPLE! He made it clear that he wants a dirt-cheap working caste to put our family, our friends, even US OURSELVES out of work!

I ask you, Tau Cet...

Why in hell's name would we, the people he wants to replace, vote a bastard like Joseph Dorn into office?

We wouldn't, people.

We wouldn't and we didn't.

Think back to your time in the voting stations, Cetians. Those machines all had a design on them. It wasn't our flag. It wasn't a serial number. It was the NanoTrasen logo.

You may have missed the memo, but NT secured the rights to making our ballot boxes automated, user friendly, and lead straight to a shredder.

Establishing the Free Trade Zone. Keeping Tajara and Vaurca wages low enough to hire cheap workers . Proposing a free-movement treaty that would let any new jobs go straight to some kid from Admohai that doesn't know any better. It all adds up.

Dorn is so deep in NanoTrasen's pockets that he can probably feel the bulge in Miranda Trasen's pants!


It's disgusting. Our President cares more about making a percentage for a company than making sure our people have jobs to feed their kids.

This isn't the person we voted for, Bieselittes.

Make sure everyone knows it.

This broadcast was recorded 3.2.2458 in Republic of Biesel space. Opinions stated in this broadcast are not necessarily those of broadcast sponsors.

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  • 2 years later...
Guest Marlon Phoenix

Broadcast 281
Skrell: Ratajani In Disguise

Hello everyone. This is Majhurl Rhazjul, the new host of our latest show, Tajara Truth Hour. Our truth, your television.


[Intro jingle]

Have you ever wondered why people complain about your body odor despite you knowing you bathe every day? Do you wonder why you stub your toes so much despite having memorized your entire house and having drawn detailed schematics of furniture placement to avoid these accidents? Do you wonder why your credit card is declined despite the fact you only missed three payments several months ago?

And, dear viewers, he wants to ask: Did you ever wonder why these all happen after you criticize the skrell publicly or even in your dreams?

This one was brave enough to ask, and in his investigation he has come to a remarkable, EXPLOSIVE conclusion:

Ratajani which torment Tajarakind are Skrell in disguise which participate in the largest infiltration campaign in the history of the galaxy. Just think about it: Tajara are by all accounts superior to Skrell, but everywhere you look in the galaxy there are Skrell holding the puppet strings. This is not a conspiracy, it is the facts of life.

‘But Razjul’, this one can hear you saying, ‘What do they even have in common?’

Guess what. EVERYTHING. He has made this chart to show how it is everything.




As you can see, the Skrell have more in common with the Ratajani than they do differences.

For our human viewers, Ratajani are Short, ugly, stump-tailed greedy and the reason for why small bad and unlucky things happen. Throughout our history they’ve spoiled milk, let out livestock, making you bump your toes or suddenly become stinky, or stole all of your pelts. They are ugly caricatures of Tajara both because the Skrell disguises are not perfect, and because Skrell think so low of us that they would not demean themselves by looking just like us. They think Ratajani are more handsome than true Tajara!


Why is it that references to Ratajani start to become popular in the 100’s, the very same century that the Skrell claim they first entered space? Why is it that when reading and writing began to spread on Adhomai in this time, these libraries mysteriously began to burn down or were destroyed? There’s no explanation that stands up to scrutiny - the Ratajani are responsible. And if the Ratajani are responsible, the Skrell are responsible.


You see, the Skrell have since ancient times in Adhomai used their power to travel to Adhomai as they travel to their planet of Srom. They saw our species and both feared our potential and envied our planet’s bountiful natural resources. So Skrell disguised their evil agents as Ratajani. They burnt our libraries, let out our livestock, stole our kits for evil experiments, and did all manner of ills. Go back to the charts: Skrell are the same height as Ratajani. They both smile when they see a Tajara in pain. And pelts and livestock mysteriously disappear around them. Not only this but it is a FACT that Ratajani were seen by various Tajara on Adhomai to be chewing on sea weed in the lakes and oceans.

It is time to WAKE UP. Skrell have for a thousand years now been keeping Tajara down. Just look at the FACTS for understanding how powerful Skrell are:

  • The Skrell were able to convince the imperialist Alliance to invade Biesel, for humanity too is under their control.
  • The Skrell were ALLEGEDLY able to defeat a Lii’dra queen when they invaded Elyra despite how unrealistic the mission details were to right-minded thinkers.
  • The Skrell executed a citizen for a prank about Glorsh, their so-called despot AI, to silence them.
  • Skrell businessmen and idols make frequent trips to the New Kingdom of Adhomai, where photos prove they spend their time skiing and ice skating, showing how they think they own Adhomai.

It is time to wake up. We need to realize that the skrell are shape-shifting into Ratajani to suppress the potential of Tajara and control the galaxy.


We’ll discuss more about this after a break from our sponsors.


[Outro Jingle]

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Guest Marlon Phoenix

Broadcast 287

Dorn Staff Revealed: Dorn Is Shell Plant


Hey there truth seekers. From the heart of Tau Ceti to Mars or wherever you are, this is TCT's Pulsar 2 Pulsar and I’m Zee Strauhm.

[Intro theme]

Z: We’re live here in our studio with Stacy Stewart, former intern in Joseph Dorn’s administration. Stewart is here to discuss the truth about what happened to Joseph Dorn on February 17th, 2459. The official story is that Dorn was intercepted by Admiral Frost and held in captivity, giving a speech offering the unconditional surrender of the star nation to the invading forces. And only a week later, Dorn is rescued, shuttled off to Elyra, then comes back defiant and proud of himself and presides over sweeping reforms that liberate IPC’s. That’s the official story.


S: You forgot how he was rescued.


Z: Ha, you’re right. Dorn was rescued by the Synthetic Liberation Front. You know, the radical terrorists. And after this rescue, Dorn’s entire platform suddenly swings. I think you said earlier you noticed the personality change.


S: Yeah Strauhm, I did. When Dorn came back on March 6th he gave his big speech and surprised everyone. He was suddenly very pro-freeing the synthetics. Overnight he just had this big pro-synthetic agenda.

Z: Right after being rescued by SLF members and shuttled off to Elyra - but there’s no time tables about that.

S: Yeah! Everything was so messy while Sol was in here - the soldiers never told us anything. Then suddenly the SLF just hand us the president back and go ‘here ya go!’ the President is just talking all the SLF talking points. I’m sure he made it to Elyra, and I’m sure he made it onto the shuttle coming back from Elyra.

Z: And you said there were some mysterious circumstances about the trip.

S: Yeah well you see there are no official logs about the President’s flight from Elyra to Tau Ceti. he just showed up like ‘surprise’! All we have is their leaving and exit. And the thing is, the logs show a passenger manifest of the President and like 6 SLF members. Then Dorn gets out, and only 5 SLF members get out. I’m just saying it wasn't Dorn that stepped off the shuttle when it landed in Tau Ceti.

Z: He was replaced by a shell during the flight?

S: I definitely think he was. All the signs are there. When we got back to the office his mannerisms were all different. It’s a bunch of little things that no one would ever think about individually but put together I saw it as clear as day. It just hit me.

Z: What changed?

S: For one, after a week I realized I never saw him eating. I’d see food in his hands or like a bag of take out, but I never saw him actually in the process of eating. Drinking either - he was such a huge fan of Dr. Gibb, but after he came back from Elyra he just, never asked for it. And during office meetings he’d stare at the power outlet on the wall like he was hungry. And not only that - he always had this peppermint breath because he loved those things and during meetings he’d offer them to everyone but he stopped doing that entirely. I asked him one day if he had any peppermints and he just looked at me funny. And he never showed up to the vice president cook-out that happened on the Aurora. What, you’re too busy to show up for your candidates cook out on a research station? Give me a break. He didn’t show up because robots don’t need to eat.

Z: Wow, such subtle changes. No one else would have noticed.

S: You are absolutely right. It isn't just the policy changes - it’s the personality shift. He can even do math crazy fast -- without paper. He took some of the interns out to a burger joint and he figured out a 17% tip on a 36.82 credit meal in under 6 seconds. And I swear when he blinked there was a little whirring sound in his eyes.

Z: I think we’ve proven pretty decisively that whoever that is in office isn’t the real Dorn. So tell me about the bigger issues: his policy.

S: This shell, which is a plant, has been pushing greater synthetic rights in Tau Ceti. But that’s just level 1 on this conspiracy iceberg. It goes a lot deeper, Strauhm. Because, suprise suprise, the longer this shell is in office, the more government officials start acting weird too. The Governor of Phoenixport, Mindy Donald, I also noticed doing crazy stuff when she visited. And all the congressmen too. Three of them, when they came in, I saw these tiny little marks on the backs of their necks. What I think is going on is that the SLF is using the access and power of a shell Dorn to kidnap members of our government and implant mind control implants into their spines. They use these implants to turn more of our government officials into sleeper agents.

Z: Wow. To what end?

S: I think it’s pretty obvious. The Vaurca queens have an alliance with the SLF as I think you know. So to secure this alliance, when the SLF implants all members of our government they’ll activate the chips all at once and turn every member of government - from congress to the interns like me - to mind-slaves of the Zo’ra.  And when that happens, we’ll be completely helpless. They’ll be able to walk all over us.

Z: Wow. This is explosive information. Do you feel safe telling us all of this?

S: The shell that took Dorn’s place already tried to silence me. I was fired for ‘misconduct’. I was trying to bring in powerful magnets to run over the so-called Dorn to see if he would react, but it tripped the sensors and they grilled me for hours and told me I was no longer working for this administration.

Z: You are a real truth seeker. You heard it here folks - President Dorn is a synthetic shell. The powerful cabal that dominates our star nation holds truly unthinkable plans for us and our families. We may have to face a future where we are forced to work for powerful slave masters. What a dismal world we may face. Thanks for coming onto the show Stacy!

S: No problem Zee.

Z: We’re going to take a quick break after a message from tonight’s sponsor: Getmore Holiday Specials. When you need the perfect gift for that special someone, Getmore of it from Getmore. Getmore: Where you get it all.

Z: After the break we have a 2 part interview with Doctor Addler. The first part will be a discussion on the geopolitical realities facing Tau Ceti and the economic and political turmoil hitting the alliance. In the 2nd half Addler will discuss his theory on how the lottery is a Vox ploy to trap time travellers for the purpose of harvesting their Null Spirit Karma. Stay tuned, truth seekers.

[Outro theme]

Edited by Marlon Phoenix
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Guest Marlon Phoenix

Broadcast 289

Expert Finds Link Between Al'mari Assassin, Lii'dra Attack, NanoTrasen MIND CONTROL, and More

Hey there truth seekers. From the heart of Tau Ceti to Mars or wherever you are, this is TCT's Pulsar 2 Pulsar and I’m Zee Strauhm.


[Intro theme]


Z: We’re live here in our studio today with Doctor Han Fu. He holds a doctorate in Galactic Relations and is a former member of the Alliance Committee of Foreign Relations; an independent think-tank that provided advice and consultation to SolGov politicians and officials.


F: Thanks for having me.

Z: Today he’s here to discuss his new book here -- The Manchurian Legacy. Now -- Dr. Fu I got to admit that I’ve only read about 19 chapters into this book before this interview.

F: Heh.

Z: So I haven’t read it all, but what I understand from as far as I got is that you have uncovered a conspiracy that touches several star nations, starting off with the assassination of Al’mari Hadii. That uh - Tajaran president of Adhomai.

F: You are right. I’ve been researching this for years now and this conspiracy reaches the highest levels of the corporate world. Anyone familiar with Adhomai knows who Al’mari was, but for other viewers he was the president of Adhomai after their successful revolution. On 2451 he got assassinated during a parade by a former member of one of their intelligence agencies.

Z: And you found out that the assassin disappeared after that incident.

F: Yes. There’s a record of his sentencing to death, but there are no records of the actual execution. No prison that I contacted ever admitted to holding the assassin and we don’t even know his name. What really tipped me off was that the arresting officers in the police report don’t actually exist - the precinct says they had no officers by the listed names.

Z: How is this related to NanoTrasen?

F: Well, the assassin spent some time in Tau Ceti under the cover name Malik Hamil. He supposedly spent two weeks as an assistant on NanoTrasen’s Odin, and had a brief apartment rental there under the cover name.

Z: And you think he was hired by NanoTrasen?

F: That’s a common theory, but it’s wrong. What really happened is that Al’marii’s assassin was actually completely unimportant as an individual. However he was one of thousands of sleeper agents that are created by NanoTrasen whenever a nonhuman species works for them. This is achieved thanks to phoron chips implanted into their frontal cortex.

Z: But how would NanoTrasen be able to chip every single employee on such a large scale without anyone noticing?

F: Their cryo pods. You’re unconscious in the pods. Ask yourself: Do you really know where the cryo storage pods take you?

Z: Wow…. I never thought about that….

F: Exactly. So NanoTrasen uses its implantation fabrication facilities that cryo pods transport you to in order to turn unwitting individuals into sleeper agents which is why they so greedibly guard their supply. And the reason so many alien species head to Tau Ceti is because these sleeper agents return home to indoctrinate their friends and family by whispering secret cypher codes into their ears while they sleep which cause certain genetic triggers that cause a deep urge to migrate. So they wake up wanting to come to Tau Ceti, and when they get here and work for NanoTrasen they’re implanted with the same implant and cyphers and sent back to their home planets. It’s exponential growth.

Z: And what does this mean?

F: In the long term NanoTrasen’s goal is to turn everyone into a sleeper agent. Once enough of the population of each alien species is indoctrinated, they’ll switch to humanity. Then in the end they will send out the Final Cypher. Everyone will become a mind slave to NanoTrasen with what I am calling Gen2 Loyalty Implants.


Z: This is a lot to take in. You’re really getting me spooked here.

F: You should be.

Z: What is the Lii’dra involvement?


F: The Lii’dra attack on Sol. A portion of NanoTrasen’s loyalty implants were activated too soon, and all those NanoTrasen employees attacked the Sol system. NanoTrasen and the Shadow Council controlling SolGov had to disappear the identities of all the attackers and blame it on the Lii’dra. That’s why when Frost decided to go out into the frontier he couldn’t find the Lii’dra - he was the one that had the guts to actually go out and fight and the Shadow Council realized he was a rogue agent outside their control. So they had to let it leak that it was actually pirates, since he would have returned and blown the lid on the Lii’dra being a fake out.

Z: Er - Frost would have stopped the shadow council?

F: Yes. You see, Frost was in hiding because he knows this conspiracy. I start talking about him in chapter 25, when I explained the legitimacy of the Chater Letter and how it was part of the Shadow Council’s plan to aid NanoTrasen in mind-slaving the galaxy. Frost recognized the intention of the invasion and turned against the Shadow Council and used the invasion as his own double cross to destroy NanoTrasen’s implantation production facilities in Tau Ceti. When the Shadow Council found out he was no longer working for them, they sent in loyalist forces to boot him out and he’s been hiding in the frontier until now. Frost is going to be able to -

Z: OK, that’s enough

F: What? Hey -

Z: This interview is over. I shut off his mic. We don’t entertain ATLAS crackpots here. We’ll be back after this word from our sponsor today -- it’s uh -- Reynold’s Rentals: Technically Family Owned Since 2442. When we return we’ll be discussing whether New Gibson is really a planet or an elaborate hard-light hologram used to hide government secrets. Stay tuned, truth-seekers.


[Outro theme]

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  • 4 months later...
Guest Marlon Phoenix

Broadcast 292


Civil War On Adhomai Is Fake


Hello everyone. This is Majhurl Rhazjul, the new host of our latest show, Tajara Truth Hour. Our truth, your television.

[Intro jingle]

This one is coming with a bombshell news everyone. He has been broadcasting on this channel for years exposing the truth behind the lies but everything has been paltry until this point. This conspiracy touches on every galactic power that has ever come to Adhomai.

He is sure that you all have heard of the People's Republic of Adhomai. This so-called country is supposed to be a heavy hitter in the so-called civil war on Adhomai. How about the Democratic People's Republic of Adhomai? These names may be familiar to you, because they dominate the thoughts and headlines of all the galaxy. But, his friends, he has come to you with the news that they are fake.

Based on evidence this one has uncovered, he has found that the Sol Alliance has orchestrated the biggest false flag in the history of the entire universe. This plot started on day one that the humans landed on Adhomai. Using over a billion holograms and hard light projections as well as chemicals in the air  to create false memories, the Sol Alliance has managed to effectively fake an entire civil war for decades.

When humans landed on Adhomai, their secret stealth vessels flew across Adhomai dispersing a chemical known as Falsamemoriae. A highly subtle chemical made from mindbreaker, the Sol Alliance managed to convince all Tajara with false memories that the planet had more than the SINGLE continent.

That is right. Adhomai has ONE continent and a handful of islands. We have been, as a species and a galaxy, gaslit to believe otherwise. The New Kingdom is the only faction on Adhomai that exists - Tajara elsewhere are actually living on this one landmass, and those that believe otherwise are suffering from the false memories. How easy it is to convince people that Nal'tor is in the wrong place when you are subtly drugging and gaslighting the entire population?

He knows what his listeners are about to say - the critics anyway. 'But Rhazjul, what about the photos taken from orbit? Clearly they show -' WRONG! These critics must not be regular listeners of our show because this strategy of projecting holograms of entire continents already exists and has happened. How do you explain the existence of New Gibson? You can't - it just doesn't make any sense.

But what are these holograms hiding? Why is the Sol Alliance doing this?

This one has had an exclusive interview with an anonymous source within the Jargon government before she was falsely arrested and put in a facility for being 'crazy'. If being crazy is speaking the truth, then call this one a truster of crazy!

These holograms of fake landmasses are used to hide the underwater colonies that the Skrell have developed. Our entire oceans are being colonized by the Jargon Federation with the assistance of their human allies. They swim in our oceans, devouring our precious oysters and sea weed without sharing the wealth of their consumption with our people. And our "noble" noblemen have agreed to let this happen! It is sad how money has dominated our world. Because of the influence of money on greedy Tajara, our oceans are swarming with Skrell who seek nothing but our precious oyster supply. 

There is no other reasonable explanation as to why there are huge holographic fakes of continents. Their only purpose is supported by testimony of an actual Jargon official. The colonization of our oceans is the only explanation. It is a sad day that he must say that President Hadii is merely a Skrell using holographic projections to fake being a Tajara - and the same is true for all other government Tajara. But the facts have lead this one to this conclusion, and he has to chase the facts no matter what dark corner they try to hide in. All of this gaslighting and faking is used to infiltrate and destroy environmentalist movements that would seek to protect our precious oceans.

It is time to wake up from our naps of ignorance and daydreams of lies. We need to protect our oceans. We need to take back our oysters. We need to demand accountability from the ones that exploit this galaxy for their own selfish cuisine, and appropriation of all that we are.

We will be taking a short break and we will return after these messages from our advertisers.

[Outro Jingle]


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  • 3 weeks later...
Guest Marlon Phoenix

Broadcast 300

Ghost Ships From Moghes?

Hey there truth seekers. From the heart of Tau Ceti to Mars or wherever you are, this is TCT's Pulsar 2 Pulsar and I’m Zee Strauhm.

[Intro jingle]

Z: Free traders across the eastern frontier are being terrorized by "ghost ships" and it's sure got local captains concerned about their safety and the safety of their shipments. We got one captain here on line with our studio to talk about it and he gave us his story. Can we run that clip, Marge?

. . .


Recorded Caller: "Well, first we noticed a strange flash on our sensors... a ship materialized out of it and seemed to mill around a bit ... then I guess it noticed us, because it vanished again. We'd hail a patrol vessel but they never found anything. We eventually stopped hailing any patrols because nothing ever came of it. I thought they were Skipjacks but they usually, you know, attack you after awhile. These guys just... Disappear."


Z: This has been a common story along the Elyra-Alliance and Frontier Alliance trade route the past two weeks. These mysterious ghost ships seem to appear and disappear at random. And there are more and more sightings every day. Another Captain called us to say something about it not being anything normal. Let's hear it, Marge

. . .


2nd Caller: "This isn't really a pirate tactic. If you ask me, it must be ghosts from that bug invasion ... this whole route is cursed. If you want to keep your ships and your cargo, try trading somewhere else for a while."


Z: Alliance "authorities" leading the patrols around the trade routes have issued their own statement on the matter. Let me read it out here... They said... "There have been no reports of any ship being attacked or losing cargo as a result of an encounter with these unidentified vessels. The rumors that they are lii'dra or vox raiders are entirely unfounded. Don't fall prey to panic or speculation. Everything is under control." Heh. They say it is still unknown what these ghost ships actually are, but based on the courses they have been seen taking, some theorize that they may be coming from the vicinity of Moghes. Those Unathi boys haven't said anything about it, but we do know that they are maintaining an active blockade of their own planet. Now why is that? Do you know, Marge?

M: I don't.

Z: Well, there is only one reasonable explanation folks. These "authorities" that are selling you cracked up conspiracy theories about it all being normal are full of things I can't say on the air. The answer I found through my research is obvious. It's the Tajara. The Skrell Federation are abducting Tajara them from Adhomai, genetically modifying them so that they look more like Unathi, and deploying them in ships that they bought from the Vox in exchange for a copy of Glorsh. They're so desperate to win that war that they're willing to make a deal with the devil. Ain't that something? Their mission is to scan everyones' cargo holds and keep the data so that the Skrell-dominated NT can corner the markets on everything the Frontier needs and use that control over the economy to weaken the frontier states in preparation for the inevitable replicant rebellion. It's all coming together.

We'll talk more about it after this message from our sponsors. Grahms Cram Clams: The only clam shaped crackers on the market.


Posted for Vux.

Edited by Marlon Phoenix
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  • 6 months later...
Guest Marlon Phoenix

Broadcast 387

Adhomai Ceasefire Part of Plot To Destroy Galaxy

Hello everyone. This is Majhurl Rhazjul, the new host of our latest show, Tajara Truth Hour. Our truth, your television.

[Intro jingle]

This one is coming with a dire update on the status of the so-called ‘Civil War’ on Adhomai. Regular listeners will have heard our previous broadcasts going over the facts of this matter. We know what is going on with the holographic continents and the skrell infiltration of our oceans posing as ratajani to steal our precious oysters. But his friends, we did not at the time understand the true depth of this conspiracy against the Tajara people.

This one has to humbly admit now that his focusing on Adhomai has not been fair. While the Tajara are the most powerful precurser species in the universe, it has been short sighted for this one to not recognize the struggle going on outside this picture. This one has gathered evidence that has shook this one to his core. This one is now ready to reveal that the Skrell…

Are not the ones behind the colonization of our oceans.

Let this one explain. There is no doubt that, for example, President Hadii is a skrell using holographic technology to disguise himself as a ratajani disguising itself as a Tajara - that’s just common sense. But what this one did not know until now is that these Skrell are not acting autonomously. They are trapped, enslaved even, by the most insidious and evil creatures to ever curse our universe:

The Yve’kha.

These wasps in the past would eat the wooden buildings of our people until they collapsed. We thought that we had domesticated them, but we were wrong. We were so wrong. These Yve’kha are not simple bugs, but the most powerful telepaths in the universe. Each individual Yve’kha can mind control over eight individuals at one time, anywhere within our local supercluster. Their power is foiled only by the fact that ancient Tajara - and this is supported by archaeological evidence - fought a war millions of years ago that destroyed entire galaxies. The Tajaran Forerunners succeeded in this war at the cost of trillions of lives, and in our victory we nullified the telepathic abilities of the terrifying Yve’kha and banishing them to the prison world of Adhomai and Earth with a billion Tajara guards each. This is settled science by now.

But after the other Tajara became uplifted to become beings of pure energy, the Yve’kha collectively used their remaining miniscule powers to shield the planets from this great Uplift, trapping Tajara on Adhomai and Earth. Then Tajara on Adhomai evolved to what we are today, while our progeny on Earth evolved into humanity. The Yve’kha had won stage 1 of their long con, and we were trapped with them.

Catching us up to the current day, we are seeing the fallout of stage 13 of their great plan. The Yve’kha have managed to breed select individuals to regain their telepathic abilities, and they have use mind control on Skrell to use them as patsies against us. They had the Skrell colonize our oceans, stealing from us our precious oysters and locking our people into the civil war that was suiting their own ends. They used Srom against the Skrell, who in turn were used against us.

With the cease fire on Adhomai, the Yve’kha are moving to stage 14. Now comes the economic infiltration of the wider galaxy. Because modern Tajara are naturally shielded from the ancient Yve’kha telepathy by the psionic energies present in the Tajara RNA code they are forced to overcome this obstacle. And how do you think they are bypassing our defences to enslave us?

Dr. Gibb soda. Let him explain.

Here is a list of people with ties to Dr. Gibb’s company: Miranda Trasen, Joseph Dorn, every member of the NanoTrasen Board of Directors, fifteen congressmen in the Biesel Congress, two-fifths of the Sol Alliance senate… And more. You can see the full list on the Tau Ceti Truth website.

All of these individuals have ties to the Dr. Gibb company or were photographed drinking Dr. Gibb soda at some point. Why is this bad? Because Dr. Gibb is a front company used by the Yve’kha. They put nanobots into the soda that invade the brain of its user, snuffing out the psionic energy in RNA that grants immunity to telepathy. This then allows the Yve’kha to mind control the individual if they so choose, enslaving them to their will. And this means every important or influential person that drinks Dr. Gibb becomes a slave.

Even the media is infiltrated. If you are watching television, you are watching people who drank Dr. Gibb. You are watching Yve’kha patsies. The Tajara DNA within the major species of the galaxy keeps us all instintively mistrustful of the Yve’kha, so no person would knowingly and willingly work for them. Only by telepathically controlling members of our civilization will the Yve’kha grow in power.

These ‘Yveks’ as he calls them are husks of their former selves. Every year the most powerful Yveks  in the galaxy meet in secret to sacrifice Tajara children to an effigy of their dark masters. This is no small sect, its membership boasts people like Miranda Trasen, Not’zar Izweski, Admiral Frost, and the mayor of Phoenixport. Notice anything? THEY’RE ALL DR. GIBB DRINKERS AND STOCK HOLDERS.

Are you asking questions yet?

We need to fight back. The Yve’kha’s plot is to enslave the universe because the only thrill they can feel is when they eat the home of an innocent, making it collapse. They know only malice and hate. If they have their way the entire race of Tajara and all our progeny will be herded into reservations where we live eternity having our homes devoured by the  scheming, plotting Yve’kha. If Dr. Gibb soda continues to spread in popularity, we will all be weakened and enslaved.

If you are listening, this one begs you to stop drinking Dr. Gibb. You are at risk of telepathic mind control if you ever drink this despicable soda. REFUSE Dr. Gibb. If you friend offers you one, educate them in the plot of the Yve’kha. Purify your body with water and delicious Adhomai oysters, which hold powerful latent healing abilities for psions. If you are human, work out, as the nanobots can be lost through sweating. If you are Tajara then you must cleanse with Nif Berries mixed with coffee. We also must do everything we can to destroy the Dr. Gibb soda corporation and expose the Yveks that control our governments and media.

We must spread the word of this infiltration or we will forever be kept as a clueless herd. The war of our forerunners is not over - the Yve’kha are rising once more and the life of every sentient is at risk! We must not succumb to the rapidly approaching doom!

Now for a word from our sponsors:

Martin Bran Lewis Socks for Men: we really sock it to ya.

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