[Accepted] Rapidvalj Unathi Whitelist Application

[Rapidvalj]

BYOND Key: Rapidvalj

Character Names: Felix Leung, applicant character Ssseifiij Giis

Species you are applying to play: Unathi

What color do you plan on making your first alien character (Dionaea & IPCs exempt): black/dark gray

Have you read our lore section's page on this species?: Yes

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Please provide well articulated answers to the following questions in a paragraph format. One paragraph minimum per question

Why do you wish to play this specific race:

A couple of reasons. Since I started playing space station 13, they are all I've really played, I have many unathi characters I'm attached to, and I would like to think I have become skilled at capturing the unathi mannerisms and personality through practice. I had a read over the lore page for unathi too, and I'm actually a big fan of the lore for them on this server. It's unique comparative to most servers lore for them, and goes into quite a bit more detail, especially when it comes to the politics and geography of the unathi homeworlds, which is a massive bonus since I've seen them improvised a lot on other servers where that lore is not available canon, and that leads to a lot of inconsistencies that bug me.

Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human: For one unathi speak differently to humans, when speaking basic. It is almost never their first language, and often unathi speak a broken, accented version of the language. Most unathi have a small lisp, which leads to elongated s's akin to hissing as well. Unathi have somewhat different body language to humans too. Instead of stamping their foot, an unathi might thump their tail against the ground, due to irritation, or just strong emotion. Also, much like the snakes they are similar too, when nervous an unathi will likely begin to sway, and bristle their necks scales, or possibly even sample the air, a skill unathi have, more commonly than needed.

Being from a different planet unathi have also grown up with different social mannerisms. While these vary from planet to planet and settlement to settlement, but generally, universally intimate gestures are twining of body parts, like the neck or tail, and touching of the face together, mostly the muzzle or forehead. Baring the neck is also essentially universally seen as a sign of surrender, admittance to shame, or even extreme trust and compassion. This is because the neck is one of the most sensitive areas of the unathi body, and of course, it would be easy to kill one by clawing or stabbing at it

 

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Character Name: Ssseifiij Guwan (Giis previously)

Please provide a short backstory for this character, approximately 2 paragraphs

Ssseifiij was born to a small nomadic clan following Th'akh, clinging to the old unathi traditions inside the wastelands of moghes. Life was harsh and incredibly unforgiving, and Ssseifiij led an extremely simple lifestyle with very little technology available. He was chosen to train as a healer, somewhat to his dismay at first, as it was not a masculine role, but he found, in time that he enjoyed learning to use what could be scrounged from the ashes to create poultices and potions for the treatment of infections and viruses, to help his clan in ways that the uneducated members found somewhat magical.

Ssseifiij would often sight ships, usually from traders passing into orbit, and ever since he was born he was fascinated with them. He would ask about them, but his clan would brush them aside as harmful, and to be avoided, though this only fuelled his interests in what was beyond what felt like the small world his clan inhabited.

It was a harsh night, a sand storm striking at the camp where his clan were hunkered down, when Ssseifiij's life changed drastically. For better or worse he still questions. Ssseifiij at this point was one of the primary healers of his clan, despite only being 18. It was not a surprise to him, then, when a battered and bruised hunter of his clan, Xalnassa Sissskiss, barely hanging onto life, was brought to him. He had been caught by an opposing clan hunting in their territory, and their retaliation was to attempt to kill him. Ssseifiij began nursing him back to health, a long process, with many hurdles. The two spent most, if not all of their time together for the first few months as Xalnassas wounds were treated, and it wasn't long until they fell in love. Xalnassa admiring Ssseifiij for his gentleness and kindness in his treatment, and Ssseifiij admiring Xalnassa for his bravery. Such love was forbidden by the clan, not only because producing new children was a priority, but because the idea of their incompatibility was not lost to this traditionalist tribe. and as such they kept their partnership a secret, even questioning its morality themselves. However, eventually, Ssseifiij and Xalnassa were caught together, with their tails and lips twined, and were condemned by the clans elders. To take up guwandi or die. They were given a night to decide, and while the clan slept, Ssseifiij fled into the wastelands, stealing as much as he could hold on his back, in fear that if he was left in the desert with nothing, and no combat skills to speak of, he would be killed or starve.

His journey was long and brought him close to death many times, with Ssseifiij possibly not seeing food or water for days or even weeks on end. Ssseifiij was not built, and still is not built, for that kind of task, with his short, feminine frame, likely, he believes, why he was picked to be a healer in the first place, usually a females job, over a warrior or hunter. However, on the brink of death, after a long trek without water through the mountains that protected the untouched lands from the encroaching wastes, Ssseifiij made it to civilisation. Skalamar. The technology and lifestyle he discovered here shook him to his core, and figuratively blew his mind. It was as different as possible from his old life with his clan.

When Ssseifiij crawled his way through the cities gates, he was broken mentally and physically. He was left to his own devices by the population, ignored and disregarded. Seeing such a world as he had never seen before was a culture shock that Ssseifiij found it hard to process, especially due to the experience that he had just gone through, and the loss of essentially, in his eyes, his entire world, and his one love. He was seen as a savage by most. Arriving in ragged clothing, clanging as he walked with daggers and glass jars, and spitting an odd dialect of sinta'unathi that was mocked somewhat by the natives. He was an outcast to the highest degree, unacquainted with the customs of Skalamar and its people, frowned upon and avoided by the natives, and lacking useful skills to sell.

Because of this, Ssseifiij made the decision to leave moghes, his home planet, in search of something or simply anything else. He remembered the ships he used to see in his clan, approaching the skies, and thought to pursue them. Selling all that he had, and his last connection with his old clan ,ornate knives crafted by his elders and himself, and vials of poultices, both that fetched a high price to collectors. With the money he raised he brought himself a passage to the human world within Tau Ceti, Biesel, lax immigration laws allowing him to slip inside, hopefully mostly unoticed, inside a vox trading skipjack. The travel was a learning experience about the vox, and the universe outside his small world on moghes in general, for Ssseifiij, as well as the other cultures that he met along the way, and only spurred on his thirst for exploration and a new life. He found himself becoming quite accustomed with the vox way of life, and even made friends, in the widest sense possible, with some of the crew, but when he arrived they left to continue their trading, and Ssseifiij had quite literally nothing once again. No money, no friends, family, or contacts, and no home. He knew he had to make his way up from the bottom, and he was determined for it not go the way it did in Skalamar, on his own terms this time. Ssseifiij was picked up quickly by the vast, sprawling underground that Biesel had to offer as a cheap and easily influenced customer and worker. He accepted his new found location on the ladder of society for a time. Selling his body and his labour Ssseifiij would earn money, which in return he would pay black market surgeons for training, to build upon the only skills he think he had, medicine. It took him many years, and many hard nights, and the sacrificing of much of his dignity, and his own moral codes, but eventually Ssseifiij began surgery on his own. Of course still on the black market, as he had no formal education. He would carry out unethical or frowned upon procedures, in return for money from his clients. Something happened however that caused Ssseifiij to flee the somewhat questionable life he had built. In an argument with a rival gang member, Ssseifiij was shot multiple times and left for dead, in the process losing his right arm, and even his own eyesight. He managed to survive the ordeal, only just clinging to life once again, and with time both lost body parts were replaced with prosthesis. However, fulled by paranoia that he would be persecuted again by his assailant, Ssseifiij, with only the money he had earnt, fled to the moon of a major planet within the neighboring star system, Luna. Shaken by the events on Biesel, Ssseifiij decided it was time to start again, again, and he decided to pursue a real education. He spent all that he had earnt in his black market days to study at The Lunar University of Medical Science, and after 4 years of hard work, and what he felt was discrimination from almost everyone around him, he earned his degree. Ssseifiij retired to working in a small emergency clinic, slowly paying the loans he owed to his university, a process which at the rate he predicted, would take the rest of his life. A high price for a high education. Here though, he met another unathi man, Iksseelass Guwan, who was coincidentally also his first patient, who, like a similar other unathi, changed his life drastically. At first he was hesitant to admit his feelings to himself, having suppressed his desires for comfort in anothers arms for most of his time since what happened with his first love, though it was not him who made the first move, and after accepting his feelings, the two became deeply infatuated with each other. Ssseifiij discovered Iksseelass's story was not too different from his own, having been forced to leave the planet after great dishonour befell him. While the two enjoyed their time together, it was only a matter of time until his lover would have to leave the planet, to work aboard the NSS aurora, to fulfil his contract to nanotrasen. Ssseifiij decided that instead of leaving him, and abandoning yet another love, he would follow him to the Apollo despite his original plans, to be employed as a surgeon. His application was accepted, and he now works there, full time, to be with his lover and pay off his loans.

What do you like about this character?

This is a character I use on many servers, and I've grown very fond of him regardless, but despite that the backstory I've written, I believe, adds depth for his character, because of his struggles to leave moghes, and gain a foothold on Biesel, but also leaves room for improvement and character development, due to his still young age and relative newness to the station

How would you rate your role-playing ability?

I've been roleplaying for years with text on forums and the like, so I'm used to that, and I've played mostly on HRP, and sometimes on MRP servers since I began playing SS13 a few months ago, so I would like to think Im quite accustomed and used to roleplay specifically inside ss13 too.

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Notes:

Edited August 1, 2016 by Guest

[Skull132]

Breaking (personal) rule #n+3 here by posting, but I have a sort of similar character already (minus the leaving the clan outright and birb shenanigans!), so I figured I'd go along with posting an onion.

Your story lacks any negative effects on the character, as far as I can perceive. Well, tangible ones at that. To an Unathi, their clan is made out to be one of the most important things. I can imagine this goes doubly for nomads and traditionalists. How did leaving his clan affect him, mentally? What (in greater detail) even caused him to go against his instincts in that respect?

Second, in Skalamar, how did the other Unathi look upon him? While it might be easy enough to think up a lie and get by simply being there, if you start selling your clan tokens, someone is bound to look upon it in a negative light. Further, since he went that far, I'm pretty much forced to assume that he either completely vilified the Unathi culture, or literally did not care for it. Why is this? What cause him to be that way?

And then there's the bit about the underground life. Usually used as a gateway drug to amazingly fantastical stories, here it's kinda just. It kinda just is, seemingly used as a convenient plot device on how he didn't outright fail at life or die. But a lifestyle like that is never so straight forward. It comes with threats and consequences. And yet, none of those are explored.

As a summary, it seems that your character is simply not bothered by consequences at all. Nothing bad or worthy of consequence happens. He's simply moved along by plot devices.

[Rapidvalj]

Breaking (personal) rule #n+3 here by posting, but I have a sort of similar character already (minus the leaving the clan outright and birb shenanigans!), so I figured I'd go along with posting an onion.

Your story lacks any negative effects on the character, as far as I can perceive. Well, tangible ones at that. To an Unathi, their clan is made out to be one of the most important things. I can imagine this goes doubly for nomads and traditionalists. How did leaving his clan affect him, mentally? What (in greater detail) even caused him to go against his instincts in that respect?

Second, in Skalamar, how did the other Unathi look upon him? While it might be easy enough to think up a lie and get by simply being there, if you start selling your clan tokens, someone is bound to look upon it in a negative light. Further, since he went that far, I'm pretty much forced to assume that he either completely vilified the Unathi culture, or literally did not care for it. Why is this? What cause him to be that way?

And then there's the bit about the underground life. Usually used as a gateway drug to amazingly fantastical stories, here it's kinda just. It kinda just is, seemingly used as a convenient plot device on how he didn't outright fail at life or die. But a lifestyle like that is never so straight forward. It comes with threats and consequences. And yet, none of those are explored.

As a summary, it seems that your character is simply not bothered by consequences at all. Nothing bad or worthy of consequence happens. He's simply moved along by plot devices.

 

I understand what you're saying, and I certainly considered most of those, but honestly I sort of wanted to build upon that in game instead of stating /everything/ in the whitelist app. Leave some things to find out I guess. I can extend the app in those areas if you think that's the best option though, wouldn't be too hard, and its pretty fun to write down this backstory anyway.

Edit: this character is actually based off one from another server that got kicked from his clan for a particular reason, so I could always include that, as you're right it doesn't make too much sense for him to leave the clan outright raised as a traditionalist.

[Skull132]

I understand what you're saying, and I certainly considered most of those, but honestly I sort of wanted to build upon that in game instead of stating /everything/ in the whitelist app. Leave some things to find out I guess. I can extend the app in those areas if you think that's the best option though, wouldn't be too hard, and its pretty fun to write down this backstory anyway.

 

Please do.

The thing is, the whitelist economy uses trust as a currency. You need to earn our trust, and we will, in turn, give you a whitelist. It's a very simple transaction. And in order to earn our trust, you need to prove to us, one way or another, that you can create and roleplay characters we consider up to par. At this moment, I am seeing a very flat character. It is not enough for me to place my trust into your abilities at character creation.

[Rapidvalj]

I understand what you're saying, and I certainly considered most of those, but honestly I sort of wanted to build upon that in game instead of stating /everything/ in the whitelist app. Leave some things to find out I guess. I can extend the app in those areas if you think that's the best option though, wouldn't be too hard, and its pretty fun to write down this backstory anyway.

 

Please do.

The thing is, the whitelist economy uses trust as a currency. You need to earn our trust, and we will, in turn, give you a whitelist. It's a very simple transaction. And in order to earn our trust, you need to prove to us, one way or another, that you can create and roleplay characters we consider up to par. At this moment, I am seeing a very flat character. It is not enough for me to place my trust into your abilities at character creation.

Okay! Edited! Thanks for the advice. If you dont think its up to par still I can always build upon it more though, and I'd appreciate it if you checked it out and gave me some more feedback.

[Guest Marlon Phoenix]

Hello! I'm the loremaster for Aurora and the Unathi are the species' I look over specifically. I do appreciate all the effort you've already put into your application and the willingness you show to edit it to suggestion! I hope having the loremaster and head developer commenting on your app isn't too daunting.

Now your application seems acceptable to me following your edits as the whole, and unless there's a random surge in critical feedback that has me rethink things I'm comfortable with accepting it in a few day's time at the moment, if you take my following in stride:

The story up to his arrival in Skalamar is fine, but refugees are never just 'picked up' by Izweski police. He is one amongst hundreds of people that would arrive at any one time, and thousands that are already taking the journey to the Izweski. The police would just laugh at him and keep walking, if your unathi is part of the Guwan or refugee classes then you close off any help from the authorities.

What faith does Ssseifiij Giis follow? The Unathi take the supernatural at face value; the spirits of his ancestors would be following him around and commenting to each other in ghostchat about what he was doing. How does he reconcile what he's doing with the teachings of shamans or priests? Being a jaded athiest is an extremely radical trait for Unathi characters and not really one I could accept on top of the rest of the character.

Going all the way to Earth seems like an interesting choice, especially via the Vox which makes him an illegal alien (get it?????). The Sol Alliance is farther to the right than Tau Ceti, where our station resides, in the Republic of Biesel. This is more of a curiosity from me; why was Earth chosen specifically? Tau Ceti has been given incredibly loose immigration and work visa policies to allow people to easily just shrug and move to Biesel. Delving into the black market of the planet is par for course for someone at the bottom, and it seems fine to me since your rewrite. However going straight to university after underground medical work seems a stretch, especially when he's so young. That could be another reason that he works on the Exodus; he's drowning in student loans. NanoTrasen offers extremely generous grants for university for Tau Ceti residents on the condition you work for them after you graduate, but he opted out of that by going to Sol.

The biggest stumble is the use of prothesis. Prosthetics are incredibly haram because to the Unathi faithful synthetics are completely devoid of life and a soul, so replacing yourself with robotic parts is like inflicting self-harm to your own immortal soul. If you do it too much you could lose your soul completely and never join your ancestors.

With all the subversions this character has in relation to standard Unathi lore I'd feel more comfortable with it if he was a Guwan. The Guwan last name is for the Unathi underclass who choose to not go Guwandi. There's no feasible way he'd be able to keep his clan name. From the eyes of the vanilla Unathi Ssseifiij is lower than the scum one might step in. So being Guwan is the only option available for our a gay refugee illegal immigrant black market surgeon with a robot arm.

[Rapidvalj]

Hello! I'm the loremaster for Aurora and the Unathi are the species' I look over specifically. I do appreciate all the effort you've already put into your application and the willingness you show to edit it to suggestion! I hope having the loremaster and head developer commenting on your app isn't too daunting.

Now your application seems acceptable to me following your edits as the whole, and unless there's a random surge in critical feedback that has me rethink things I'm comfortable with accepting it in a few day's time at the moment, if you take my following in stride:

The story up to his arrival in Skalamar is fine, but refugees are never just 'picked up' by Izweski police. He is one amongst hundreds of people that would arrive at any one time, and thousands that are already taking the journey to the Izweski. The police would just laugh at him and keep walking, if your unathi is part of the Guwan or refugee classes then you close off any help from the authorities.

What faith does Ssseifiij Giis follow? The Unathi take the supernatural at face value; the spirits of his ancestors would be following him around and commenting to each other in ghostchat about what he was doing. How does he reconcile what he's doing with the teachings of shamans or priests? Being a jaded athiest is an extremely radical trait for Unathi characters and not really one I could accept on top of the rest of the character.

Going all the way to Earth seems like an interesting choice, especially via the Vox which makes him an illegal alien (get it?????). The Sol Alliance is farther to the right than Tau Ceti, where our station resides, in the Republic of Biesel. This is more of a curiosity from me; why was Earth chosen specifically? Tau Ceti has been given incredibly loose immigration and work visa policies to allow people to easily just shrug and move to Biesel. Delving into the black market of the planet is par for course for someone at the bottom, and it seems fine to me since your rewrite. However going straight to university after underground medical work seems a stretch, especially when he's so young. That could be another reason that he works on the Exodus; he's drowning in student loans. NanoTrasen offers extremely generous grants for university for Tau Ceti residents on the condition you work for them after you graduate, but he opted out of that by going to Sol.

The biggest stumble is the use of prothesis. Prosthetics are incredibly haram because to the Unathi faithful synthetics are completely devoid of life and a soul, so replacing yourself with robotic parts is like inflicting self-harm to your own immortal soul. If you do it too much you could lose your soul completely and never join your ancestors.

With all the subversions this character has in relation to standard Unathi lore I'd feel more comfortable with it if he was a Guwan. The Guwan last name is for the Unathi underclass who choose to not go Guwandi. There's no feasible way he'd be able to keep his clan name. From the eyes of the vanilla Unathi Ssseifiij is lower than the scum one might step in. So being Guwan is the only option available for our a gay refugee illegal immigrant black market surgeon with a robot arm.

 

Yeah, I'll edit the part about being picked up by the police slightly. Faithwise he'd follow Th'akh, due to his traditionalist, isolated tribe, so I could mention that somewhere. With the robotic limbs there wasn't much choice other than prosthesis, as it wasn't a decison to actually lose his limb or eyes. The reason I snuck that in there is because thats just how I do the character on most servers, so I'm fine with removing it if you think its for the best, but I think it could be something interesting in rp, the character resenting a part of himself physically. Earth I didn't pick for any particular reason more than it was a human world, because I wanted the character to be introduced to the human way of life as a bridge to the apollo, so I could always change that to Biesel, though the Lunar University of Medical Science itself I picked particularly for its prestigiousness. Though I agree its farfetched to get into such a university after being off the radar completely until applying, I was sort of implying the amount of money he paid to get in made that irrelevant, so drowning in student loans would certainly be true. I'll probably edit that in too.

I read about guwan too before so yeah I certainly agree with that, and the name if I made the character would certainly be Ssseifiij Guwan.

Edit: okay edited! I added in biesel instead of earth and changed the bit about the police. Also mentioned the clans religion at the beginning. I havent changed the university but I added in a bit about loans, though if you think I should change that I still can.

[Guest Marlon Phoenix]

It seems fine to me now; I'll be glad to see how your character develops on-station.

Application accepted!