Juani2400 Posted August 27, 2016 Share Posted August 27, 2016 (edited) BYOND Key: Juani2400. Character Names: Azra Kouri (CMO, MD), Bassan Saqqaf (CE), Ibrahim Al-Enezi (Engine Tech.), Laetitia Romilly (Captain), Ra'd Sarraf (HoS, Sec. Officer), Amanda Maddox (HoS), C.B.N. (Cyborg). Species you are applying to play: Skrell. What color do you plan on making your first alien character (Dionaea & IPCs exempt): Light green. Have you read our lore section's page on this species?: Yes. Please provide well articulated answers to the following questions in a paragraph format. One paragraph minimum per question Why do you wish to play this specific race: I have been looking forward to play a new species for some time in order to look for new RP opportunities and, after reviewing the other races, I've found Skrell is one of the most appealing to me. The lore about the species is quite interesting and the fact that they are represented as very serious, calm, silent and intelligent people interests me and I think it could lead me into other types of roleplay than what I do with my current characters. Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human: First of all, one of the main differences it's their social behaviour with other species other than theirs, which tends to involve short, emotion-less statements, as they lack the ability to express those with ease speaking in Tau Ceti Common and are always looking for the best word efficiency. This, however, does not happen in their original language, Skrellian. Skrells are also the most advanced species in the known galaxy and the fact that they can live up to 450 years in most of the cases, makes the older individuals of this species to be extremely experienced and intelligent. Skrells are also largely asexual, usually not having desire to engage in romantic relationships. Mechanically, there's not a big difference between Humans and Skrell, other than the different ways of speaking and the diet, which is mainly based on vegetables. Skrells also cannot wear regular human helmets, and must use specially adapted ones. Character Name: Vera'Qaule Weqrr-Xeblakk (Male, 176 years old.) Please provide a short backstory for this character, approximately 2 paragraphs Vera'Qaule was born in Jargon V, planet also known as Aliose, specifically, at the capital city of said planet. Vera'Qaule had a pretty regular childhood; he spent most of the day out of his house playing with a few friends of his neighbourhood at a near artificial swamp. At that time, his marks at school weren't the best, and was often forbidden by his parents to go out and forced to study for the afternoon. Vera'Qaule didn't know what he wanted to study, and spent most of his teenage years not worrying about that. His parents, both scientists in one of the underground scientific bases of the planet, tried to convince Vera to follow the same path, but he didn't really enjoy Science. When he reached adulthood, he started working as a store clerk in a local shop. He worked in the shop for about six years, before eventually getting tired of it and thinking about getting a better job. Vera, however, was aware that he could not get a much better job without actually making the effort to, and that he would need to study. Vera's family, other than his parents, lived in the capital planet of Jargo IV, and it was pretty usual for him and his family to go to their city's space port to take a shuttle to Jargo IV in order to visit their relatives. On one of their trips, Vera, after passing through the customs, asked himself what would he need to do go to get a job as one of the officers. A few months later, Vera applied for a position as a customs officer, and successfully passed the recruitment process, and entered the formation stage. He spent two years at the academy, being trained on what would be his job just after the training. He worked as a customs officer for more than twenty years. Eventually, Vera'Qaule got tired of his job, as he didn't see himself working on the same place for the rest of this long life. At that time, Vera had developed a liking for everything related to Economics. For the first time, Vera had decided that he wanted to go to the university and study something related to Economics, and maybe get a work in the field. Vera'Qaule didn't leave his job as a customs officer while he was studying, as he needed the income, so he took longer than usual to get the bachelors degree in Economics and Business Administration. After eight years of studying and working at the same time, Vera finally finished his studies, and applied to several companies of the financial sector. He spent at least another thirty years of his life working in the economics field in minor executive roles, in the private sector. One day, Vera, while reading the newspaper, noticed that Nanotrasen was looking for qualified and experienced people to fulfil a Human Resources Director assistant position. Vera, who was a bit tired already of his job, decided to go ahead and give it a try. He got accepted. Vera got eventually promoted to a full Human Resources Director and got transferred from station to station and from ship to ship as he slowly climbed up the ranks. Through the years, Vera has managed his way to get to the higher positions of station/ship Command staff, occupying a Captain position in one of the most important Hospital Stations of Nanotrasen, the NSS Canes Venatici, and having worked in plenty of other stations and ships. Vera was recently assigned as one of the Captains of the NSS Exodus, and will get transferred pretty soon... What do you like about this character? Even though Vera'Qaule started humbly, he has worked his way up, which denotes the desire of this character to always excel in what he tries does. That is one of the keys of this character's personality. He's a perfectionist. How would you rate your role-playing ability? 7 out of 10. Notes: N/A. Edited August 28, 2016 by Guest Link to comment
Loow Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 Hey there. Loow here. First of all, remember that you can post a link to this application in OOC once per round. Doing so will likely help you get more feedback on this application. I typically try to wait at least three days before making a judgement on an application, so you have time. A few quick notes while I'm here. You're correct about Jargon V being Aliose, but the capital planet is actually their home world of Jargon IV (Qerrbalak). Just a slight detail to keep in mind. Also, feel free to add more onto your character's biography if you'd like to. Your application mentions that Vera'Qaule is 175 years old, but there's not much exposition as to what he did in that time. You do a good job of explaining his struggle to find direction early on, but there are a lot of holes in his story after that. It sounds like a believable story for a Human. He has trouble picking a career, finds his passion while working an unrelated job, goes to school, gets the career he now knows he wants. There's a flow to his story that sort of stops around his thirties. To sum it up, your application could use a little more expansion on the character's backstory and life within the last 150 years or so. Don't be afraid to go over the suggested "two paragraphs". Showing how much you care about your character design can only help you. Good luck! Happy writing! And don't forget to advertise your application! Link to comment
Owen Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 Hi! I just read through this application and I have to say, it isn't too bad. The only part that confused me was where he lived near a swamp on Aliose. Aliose is a frigid ice world that I highly doubt would be home to swamps. Besides that, I like the character and you roleplay your characters very well. +1 for the warble squad. Link to comment
Juani2400 Posted August 28, 2016 Author Share Posted August 28, 2016 A few quick notes while I'm here. You're correct about Jargon V being Aliose, but the capital planet is actually their home world of Jargon IV (Qerrbalak). Just a slight detail to keep in mind. Yes! What I meant is that they lived in the capital city of Aliose, as there are no listed cities for Aliose and could not find a name. Also, feel free to add more onto your character's biography if you'd like to. Your application mentions that Vera'Qaule is 175 years old, but there's not much exposition as to what he did in that time. You do a good job of explaining his struggle to find direction early on, but there are a lot of holes in his story after that. It sounds like a believable story for a Human. He has trouble picking a career, finds his passion while working an unrelated job, goes to school, gets the career he now knows he wants. There's a flow to his story that sort of stops around his thirties. To sum it up, your application could use a little more expansion on the character's backstory and life within the last 150 years or so. Don't be afraid to go over the suggested "two paragraphs". Showing how much you care about your character design can only help you. I will expand on the application later! I didn't want to write a lot and basically trimmed a bit the story I had for him to a more reasonable size. I will, however, expand on this shortly. Hi! I just read through this application and I have to say, it isn't too bad. The only part that confused me was where he lived near a swamp on Aliose. Aliose is a frigid ice world that I highly doubt would be home to swamps. Besides that, I like the character and you roleplay your characters very well. I'll modify that part of the application to fit better the description of the planet. However, it said in the lore that the Skrell tend terraform their planets in order to make them more habitable, so I just understood that Aliose was also, at least, slightly terraformed to adapt it to their nature. Thanks for the support to the both of you! I'll fix it soon! Link to comment
Juani2400 Posted August 28, 2016 Author Share Posted August 28, 2016 Biography has been expanded! I'm not that good with stories, so feel free to tell me what you think about it! Link to comment
Pyrociraptor Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 +1, He's a great roleplayer, and play his character perfectly. Link to comment
Tequilajoe Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 +1, had fun RPing with Bassan, even if he makes fun of me, that asshole. Link to comment
Juani2400 Posted August 29, 2016 Author Share Posted August 29, 2016 Thanks for the support! Link to comment
Loow Posted September 3, 2016 Share Posted September 3, 2016 I think we've gotten about as much feedback as we're going to get. I like the details you've added. Mentioning Vera'Qaule's extended family as part of the reason for his work with "customs" does wonders to make the story feel more full and thought out. Round trips between his home and "Jargo IV" seem to have been what initially sparked his interest in finding work. Stagnating seemed to be what gave him the motivation to try harder. All in all, he seems like character that might be interesting to have around and chat with. There's a little bit of year padding, but this is met in equal measure by an increase in overall detail and insight into the history of our friend Vera'Qaule. As a side note, I love the inclusion of artificial swamps and Vera'Quale's social tendencies. Seems like he might be a people person. I hope you continue to flesh out this character through play. He still feels to me like more of a HoP than a captain due to his background in economics and resource management. Still, he's your character and I'm interested to see how you bring him to life. Keep in mind, an increase in accepted applications means an increase in gripes. If you ever feel unsure about something regarding Skrell, feel free to ask or even complain to me. If you ever start to worry about a theme you portray, come up with a solid background for why something is as it is. Happy warbling. Welcome to the club. Application Accepted. Link to comment
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