[Denied]Shadow7889's IPC Application

[Shadow7889]

BYOND Key: Shadow7889

Character Names: Chris Jardine, Cassandra Jardine, R.E.M

Species you are applying to play: Integrated Positronic Chassis ( IPC )

What color do you plan on making your first alien character (Dionaea & IPCs exempt): Exempt

Have you read our lore section's page on this species?: I have.

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Please provide well articulated answers to the following questions in a paragraph format. One paragraph minimum per question

Why do you wish to play this specific race: I enjoy playing non-organics, Cyborgs, A.I.'s, IPC's. I really don't have much of a reason. If I had to think of something.. It would probably be the fact that most of the non-organics ICly think with more logic. They're more calculated and take into account the crew when acting. I love playing Cyborgs, because of this. Crew come first and it's really me being helpful. As far as AI's, I do tend to enjoy being a glorified door opener.

Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human: For starters, IPC's don't need oxygen. However, from the lore, they do need to remain cooled at all times. Too much heat can severely damage their internal systems. They also need an EVA suit, as they're weak too vacuum as well. They don't require burn treatments or bandaids, only a wielder and some wire to repair limbs. And some IPC's lack emotion, while others can be as emotional as an actual organic.

 

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Character Name: Perdition

Please provide a short backstory for this character, approximately 2 paragraphs Perdition was developed years after the Skrellian race had given Humanity the needed details to create artificial intelligence. Created as a combative IPC, it was housed inside of a large mechanical machine designed to seek out vessels that posed a threat to the safe keeping of NanoTrasen's assets. As a machine of war, it had hunted and torn apart numerous vessels with a lesser variant of ' fire and forget ' missiles used by today's Combat Drones. Over time, the use of these machines was frowned upon by higher ranking agents within NanoTrasen, as public outcries called for the disassembly of these large weapons of mass destruction. Eventually, NanoTrasen had lost the PR campaign to keep these machines offline, and scrapped them... So to speak.. Perdition was removed from it's housing, re-purposed and released for Station use. After a few trial and error runs on backwater stations, the IPC was released to serve on Stations in greater need of crew. Five years after it was removed from combat, Perdition now serves aboard the NSS Aurora, having earned it's freedom through blood.

What do you like about this character? Perdition is tough, both internally, and externally. Brave so to speak and loyal to higher ranking crew. He won't question orders unless they seem horribly wrong, or go against the crew. He's not afraid to get into the thick of things either, but he's more than willing to talk out problems.

How would you rate your role-playing ability? Not the best, but not the worst either. I've been playing SS13 on and off for about four years now, and I've got tons of time on a few sites that are considered RP sites. I love the idea of creating a story and watching it progress through my actions. It's like giving life to something and watching it grow and mature into an achivement. All in all, I'd say 6/10.

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Notes:

[NebulaFlare]

First off:

When answering what makes IPCs different from humans, I don't want an explanation of their ingame mechanics. I want to see the cultural/psychological/social differences. I want you to define what makes them physically and mentally different from other races.

Second, the backstory is only one paragraph - you need to add more meat to it. What was he shooting down? What was he protecting? And a bloody ex-combat drone would never be allowed to be refitted as an IPC. NT doesn't care for granting their equipment freedom by killing people (Or carp, if that's all it was attacking), and in honesty, any sort of connections with potential bloodshed is hush-hush, especially with synthetics. They're a coorporation - they thrive on publicity. And publicity with 'weapons of mass destruction' is not good publicity. With the fears instilled in all societies by AIs, they would never even consider letting a murderous synthetic run loose on any of their prized research stations. They don't care if it doesn't have any tendencies for violence,they just flat-out won't accept it.

I'll let this sit for the necessary few days, for feedback and the like. But as it stands in its current state, it would be denied.

[Shadow7889]

Should I give it a re-work?

[NebulaFlare]

Yes.

[Muncorn]

Okay, I've read this, and whilst I wasn't planning on leaving a review, I noticed a fair few problems off of the bat.

Okay, so first off. The technology for AI's was not given to humans by the Skrell. They independently made intelligent robotic beings by their own separate means. Even if the humans had not discovered proper AI (which, considering we're already at a good point, in 500 years we'd be doing considerably better) why would the Skrell share the information that nearly led to their species demise?

Second, a intelligence designed to remotely operate a essentially a glorified turret would be very simple, heck I could rig that up myself with a little bit of code and a database of shit not to shoot, it's not hard. Even /if/ you had a proper intelligence for it, it would never be repurposed into a cyborg in any sense similar to it's original form. At the most it'd be wiped and reprogrammed, so it would have no memory or even knowledge of previous use.

Last, why would NanoTrasen, notably one of the most narcissistic, greedy and clingy companies in all of the galaxy let a apparently excellent AI just go free, simply because it's done a lot. They're gonna work that things posibrain until it's a mess of burnt out pathways, trust me on that one.

Work on these, you seem to be overestimating peoples compassion towards machines. Nobody cares about them, nobody ever will. Remember that when taking into consideration on what happens to them, and how they end up. If you want an example of a simple line-model IPC backstory, here's the one I used for my IPC app:

 

In 2454, a robotics lab based in Ashton, Biesel, began to produce the Elvex unit for their personal use, for various purposes. A-Units were for general manual labour, such as crate movement and repairs as well as helping with basic assembly tasks. B-Units were based as a simple security, generally working at night to stop potential thieves and to watch the front doors during the day. C-Units were more specialised and assisted with the mental processing tasks, and most lacked a proper chassis at all. The units used a basic posibrain with the basic morals of the company installed, and a customised set of laws; quite similar to Nanotrasen robotic laws. When a unit had either fulfilled it's time, or was outdated; for these units were continuously improved; it was either scrapped or sold off to another company for general use. The latter was the case for Elvex Unit B-20.

A small bid started, ultimately ending in the unit being sold at 1145 Credits to an associate of Deringer Industries. The Elvex unit was recommisioned, getting a new chassis and slight posibrain modifications. These were done for two purposes; 1: Allow the unit more mental freedom by scrapping the laws and instead installing a new set of slightly more advanced morals, and also upgrading the brain itself to run smoothly; 2: To make the unit fit for loaning to other companies for use, as is what Deringer Industries specialises in doing. The unit was first loaned out to a private contractor wishing for a private and inobtrusive security. This loan was quickly cancelled after the contractor commited suicide. From then, the Unit has been used as general security for the Deringer Industries industrial complex, but they are looking to loan it off to a Nanotrasen station, as they have done with several other units before.

Elvex B-20 is a simple model, and despite it's comparative mental freedom and lack of laws, it still functions fairly similarly to most AI's. This makes it seem awfully more robotic than most other IPC's, but it has been known to act more organically fluent when conversing with other synthetics privately. It also has an affinity for Skrell, having been known to try to impress and help them as much as possible, speculated to be so it is not insulted by them as much, as is Skrellian nature. It is also noted that it does nothing to help the unit, but it seems to try anyways.

[Guest Complete Garbage]

Okay, I've read this, and whilst I wasn't planning on leaving a review, I noticed a fair few problems off of the bat.

Okay, so first off. The technology for AI's was not given to humans by the Skrell. They independently made intelligent robotic beings by their own separate means. Even if the humans had not discovered proper AI (which, considering we're already at a good point, in 500 years we'd be doing considerably better) why would the Skrell share the information that nearly led to their species demise?

Second, a intelligence designed to remotely operate a essentially a glorified turret would be very simple, heck I could rig that up myself with a little bit of code and a database of shit not to shoot, it's not hard. Even /if/ you had a proper intelligence for it, it would never be repurposed into a cyborg in any sense similar to it's original form. At the most it'd be wiped and reprogrammed, so it would have no memory or even knowledge of previous use.

Last, why would NanoTrasen, notably one of the most narcissistic, greedy and clingy companies in all of the galaxy let a apparently excellent AI just go free, simply because it's done a lot. They're gonna work that things posibrain until it's a mess of burnt out pathways, trust me on that one.

Work on these, you seem to be overestimating peoples compassion towards machines. Nobody cares about them, nobody ever will. Remember that when taking into consideration on what happens to them, and how they end up. If you want an example of a simple line-model IPC backstory, here's the one I used for my IPC app:

 

In 2454, a robotics lab based in Ashton, Biesel, began to produce the Elvex unit for their personal use, for various purposes. A-Units were for general manual labour, such as crate movement and repairs as well as helping with basic assembly tasks. B-Units were based as a simple security, generally working at night to stop potential thieves and to watch the front doors during the day. C-Units were more specialised and assisted with the mental processing tasks, and most lacked a proper chassis at all. The units used a basic posibrain with the basic morals of the company installed, and a customised set of laws; quite similar to Nanotrasen robotic laws. When a unit had either fulfilled it's time, or was outdated; for these units were continuously improved; it was either scrapped or sold off to another company for general use. The latter was the case for Elvex Unit B-20.

A small bid started, ultimately ending in the unit being sold at 1145 Credits to an associate of Deringer Industries. The Elvex unit was recommisioned, getting a new chassis and slight posibrain modifications. These were done for two purposes; 1: Allow the unit more mental freedom by scrapping the laws and instead installing a new set of slightly more advanced morals, and also upgrading the brain itself to run smoothly; 2: To make the unit fit for loaning to other companies for use, as is what Deringer Industries specialises in doing. The unit was first loaned out to a private contractor wishing for a private and inobtrusive security. This loan was quickly cancelled after the contractor commited suicide. From then, the Unit has been used as general security for the Deringer Industries industrial complex, but they are looking to loan it off to a Nanotrasen station, as they have done with several other units before.

Elvex B-20 is a simple model, and despite it's comparative mental freedom and lack of laws, it still functions fairly similarly to most AI's. This makes it seem awfully more robotic than most other IPC's, but it has been known to act more organically fluent when conversing with other synthetics privately. It also has an affinity for Skrell, having been known to try to impress and help them as much as possible, speculated to be so it is not insulted by them as much, as is Skrellian nature. It is also noted that it does nothing to help the unit, but it seems to try anyways.

 

Excerpt from skrell lore:

Unfortunately the relationship between Skrell and humanity is not rock solid. Secrets of banned artificial intelligence is inadvertently leaked to humanity. The explosion of AI's in human space mirrors the early years of Skrellian history, a fact that horrifies and angers the Skrell. Recently tensions have risen as the Federation is accused of sending covert teams into human space with the goals of sabotaging and destroying synthetics in human space. In addition, all synthetics have been banned from entering Jargon territory. Shells and IPC's can face immediate destruction if they enter Skrellian systems without passing through a marathon of red tape.

EDIT: Wrong excerpt, I'm fucking retarded. It's this one, from synth lore.

While humans had created highly powerful and highly malleable parallel computing architectures, most notably for interplanetary travel calculations, they were plagued with problems. It wasn't until 2437, when humanity was accidentally given the algorithms necessary for the creation of true AI by a Skrellian diplomatic party.

Not understanding the implications of such an action, one of the human diplomats uploaded a graph-theory algorithm to an university professor friend for analysis. It had been displayed, accidentally, as part of a graphic in a slide explaining the variable growth rates of grain-yields in zero-gravity hydroponics. Not recognizing it, the professor posted it on the school intranet, asking if anyone had seen anything similar to it. From there, it made it's way onto the human extranet, spreading like wildfire.

Addendum: I'm really dumb.

[Killerhurtz]

Hello!

In the absence of NebulaFlare, I will be handling this application.

See, my problem is - while you have the basics down, you seem to lack a solid grasp on synthetics. Your story is rather generic, and comes with a few problems - the aforementioned "was let go" issue, the aforementioned "combat drone software doesn't need to be complex", and in my eyes an additional issue - the issue that your character has, implicitly, a "combat mode". Such a thing tends to be very much frowned upon. The fact that the backstory is so short, as well, does not help.

I am afraid I will need to deny this application - feel free to apply again, though! And feel free to contact either me or Jackboot if there's any issue.