[Declined] Ariever's Unathi App

[ariever]

BYOND Key: ariever

Character Names: Misaan Relem (Hydroponicist/chef) , Lea Yun Fang (Janitor)

Species you are applying to play: Unathi

What color do you plan on making your first alien character (Dionaea & IPCs exempt): Forest/Emerald Green

Have you read our lore section's page on this species?:

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Yes

Please provide well articulated answers to the following questions in a paragraph format. One paragraph minimum per question

Why do you wish to play this specific race: Playing as an Unathi suits me because, I like reptiles. If there's an option to be a reptile race in a game, (for example: Skyrim) I'd take it. I'm more focused on the visual aspect than any racial bonuses they have, if there are any, so I won't try to abuse whatever new power I gain by being an Unathi.

Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human: Role-playing as an Unathi would be a new experience for me, just like Space Station 13 is in general. I just started playing on Tuesday, but I've already picked up the basics of Hydroponics, and haven't really tried anything else because I'm afraid of screwing things up if I try to do so.

 

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Character Name: Kizrona Ri'zark

Please provide a short backstory for this character, approximately 2 paragraphs Kizrona was born on Moghes, during the Travahk segment of the year. Her parents have always joked that her easygoing and friendly disposition towards people was a result of the season she was born in. Part of the already dwindling population on Moghes, her parents taught her skills that would let her land a job somewhere off the dying planet, and she went to pursue a career in environmental science.

She was raised to respect everyone, and lend a hand if needed, and always looks on the bright side of life. Her alien appearance might put her off to most, so she tries to make up for it in friendliness, showing that not all new faces are hostile ones. She does, however, know when a situation doesn't require a smile, and to let the professionals do their job.

What do you like about this character? She's an overall good person, not an overly talented yahoo who tries to do everything without proper training, because that'd be dumb and I think it's against the rules and considered powergaming anyway. She'll stay in her happy corner and come when called, but won't push a doctor out the way when they're already helping someone.

How would you rate your role-playing ability? Is there a known rating system? I'll just say that on a scale from one to ten, one being very bad to 10 being very good, I'd rate myself as a 9. I've been roleplaying for a healthy portion of my life, playing DnD and what not so I know what I'm doing for the most part. It doesn't stop me from making typos, though.

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Notes:

[JamOfBoy]

Your character is a female Unathi. From memory, females usually act as housewives and have little to no opportunities to do anything else with their lives. Even if I'm completely wrong about this, flesh out that backstory. How did her parents teach her? Did she go to any schools? How did she end up working on the NSS Exodus? What was life like for her on Moghes?

You've got good potential, but reread the lore page and look at other Unathi applications.

I haven't seen you RP, nor any of your characters, so I'm putting solid trust on that 9/10.

I can't give this a full +1. Not the way it is. So, on unsteady ground, I'll give it a +0.5.

[ariever]

Your character is a female Unathi. From memory, females usually act as housewives and have little to no opportunities to do anything else with their lives. Even if I'm completely wrong about this, flesh out that backstory. How did her parents teach her? Did she go to any schools? How did she end up working on the NSS Exodus? What was life like for her on Moghes?

You've got good potential, but reread the lore page and look at other Unathi applications.

Thanks for the feedback! I'll make sure to make it better soon.

[Guest Marlon Phoenix]

Hello! Sorry about the delay in your application.

Overall you show a good grasp of Unathi. However, JamOfBoy's feedback echos my own concern. Unathi females finding a new life in human space isn't outlandish, but it's something that should be portrayed with a bit of depth. Being stuck in an extremely patriarchal society where her purpose in life was as a wife, then being sent off to alien space and told "Good luck on your own"?

How did she react to this new, alien lifestyle? Did the culture shock make her more committed to her traditions and people, or does she find herself becoming enamored with humanity and her own individuality? Does she still have contact with her family? Have they sent her any nagging mail about finding a husband in human space or are they fully supportive?

Even brief touches on these aspects of a character and their struggles gives them very good depth, and would like you to try to address some, or all, of these before I can accept the application.

[DatBerry]

im surprised you didnt get more feedback, i've played with misaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan-chaan~ a lot in a short time, they're the friendly outgoing type of person and they managed to become popular pretty quick, for a new face it was a bit surprising to me, they're over all a good character, although sometimes they go on hatchet sprees when attacked and i never felt that much depth from their characters, not that the latter is a bad thing, but for a whitelist application, you need a bit more snowflakes ontop of your cake.

as the other two said, the whitelist character is a bit lacking, so try working on fleshing them out more.

still, +1 from me.

[ariever]

Oh, I've since abandoned this one. I made a diona app (i think, i don't remember if i published it or not)