[Accepted] ClearThoughts - Antagban Appeal

[ClearThoughts]

BYOND Key: ClearThoughts

Total Ban Length: Permanent, issued on 07MARCH2017

Banning staff member's Key: SirCatnip

Reason of Ban: I was a shitty antag. Really. It was a traitor round, and I was spawned in as traitor phoron researcher. Yes, I can hear your collective sigh of "Here we go" Because this one is a doozy. I mixed a heated mix of about 7000K phoron and room-temp oxygen, placed three bombs inconspicuously around the station and then prepped a few more. . Maxcaps, yes. I detonated all three of the first bombs at once without prior RP or bomb-threats, and the resulting explosion knocked out about 2/3 of the station population (One between the teleporter and medbay, one in the general locker room near the washing machine, and one in security's visitor room.) and ruined station integrity, to which engineering had an aneurysm over. I ruined the round, killed most of my tator pals in the process, and I knew immediately that I #fuckedup. I should have chosen a different way to antag. I treated it too much like Hippie and not enough like Aurora. I literally sank the ship I was on, after all. SirCatnip intervened and antagbanned me permanently posthaste, and I believe he did the right thing, even if I begged that I only wanted a 2-week ban from antagging.

Reason for Appeal: I feel like some roles are just. . Not my forte. Tator, Cultist, and Changeling are all just too stressful for me. I just feel like its that weird in-between where I can't get into character enough to do them well, but I excel very well at other roles such as Heister, Ninja, or Merc. It just feels better when I don't have to compromise an existing character to be an antagonist for the round. . Well, one that isn't already a little silly (HIdashi), though not in any sort of malignant way. I feel bad about the whole ordeal with the bombs, and the previous fuckups in which I chose Game over Roleplay, like when I shot the IPC RD with an ion rifle On Sight as a merc. . Gah. I feel shitty just for thinking about it, But! That's my own concern and sentiments. With my recent meditation over "What does it mean to be an antag" I've set it into myself as a personal epiphany that you don't have to Win as an antagonist to have a good time. Telling a story is what roleplay is all about. I can go win at any first-person shooter, but it won't tell a good story just from winning. It'll just be a wanton smash of destruction. I'd like to be unbanned so that I can enjoy playing the dark side of the storytelling again. To be an antagonist and give the crew something to be scared about, a mystery to figure out and something to fear other than John Thomas the bald assistant with a bike horn.

[Catnip]

Alright, so the appeal itself is solid. I'll be happy to lift the ban, however I should go over some points real quick first.

Prior to the permanent antag ban was placed, you had been previously warned, and banned for other instances of poor antagonist play

And, this ban itself:

 

With these things taken into account, and your own words here;

I feel like some roles are just. . Not my forte. Tator, Cultist, and Changeling are all just too stressful for me. I just feel like its that weird in-between where I can't get into character enough to do them well, but I excel very well at other roles such as Heister, Ninja, or Merc.

I advise disabling your preferences for things like Traitor, and others you aren't confident in until you feel you are more confident that you'll be able to follow the epiphany of being a better antagonist that you set yourself.

With all of that out of the way, I'll lift the ban. Just keep in mind that you'll be on somewhat of a short leash when it comes to this kind of thing as an antagonist.

Ban lifted, good luck.