Malarks

What about the QM? He had access to EVA suits? What about the RD? He was already out on the asteroid in a mining Hardsuit. Again, why was the RD out mining and not the QM? Why didn't you send at least /one/ person to go find him? Both the RD and QM were not at the party. You say you kept the party going for potential RP... but I say you missed out on some pretty key RP.. Like being the Captain and making sure your station is running or rescuing crew that have been jettisoned in to space. Did you notify CentCom of the power-outage and the missing Engineer? Did they still okay the party, despite the state of the station? Having a party is fine and all... But there's still responsibilities at play. Kudos for trying to inspire RP, but I feel like like you dropped the ball, in terms of your Captain status and the responsibilities involved. I'd have had no problem with the party, had things been being taken care of, which it really did not seem like it was the case. Am I wrong, here? Are these unreasonable expectations?

My initial intention had been to simply let folks know how I view the game and get a bit of feedback on it. I received a ban the other day, for which I posted in the appeals and it was archived and locked. I was alright with the ban, as I had broken a couple rules (spaced myself and did not reply to the admin when questioned about it. Not an unreasonable punishment) This got me to thinking about the game and how I approach it and why I got so upset that I did what I did. Sufficient?

Conversation with a friend, earlier today. I changed his name and that's all that was edited. Dude: So I loaded up SS13... and there's this Security Cadet starting shit, being a prick Dude: I just happened to be in the area with all the outfits when some other security agent brings him in handcuffed... he's swearing at her, saying he's going to kill her and shit... so I stick around and watch Malarks: Aurora or Para? Dude: Apparently he was demoted, and about to be hauled off to the brig, but she stopped by to strip him and force him into a schoolgirl's outfit Dude: Aurora After this, I make a comment along the lines of "this is exactly what I am talking about" and we proceed to talk about other stuff. Yeah, /nobody/ goons around on Aurora... >_>

Whatever. Fine. They weren't gooning. Happy now? Fuck... No comment about anything else, just that I have hurt your pride by referring to people acting like idiots as "goons" This... This is starting to feel familiar...

It's one thing to take a break, mid shift. Gonna have to do it to eat, at the very least. Heck, I even took breaks while mining (usually stuffing myself in the lavatory on the mining station for IC RP reasons, etc) But what I mentioned above doesn't quite fall under that criteria, it is an outright neglect of one's duties. If you don't /want/ to deal with the monotonous and boring jobs, then why even hop on as one? Why consume that slot when there may be someone who gives a shit, wanting to do it? Like I said, if you want to greytide, then hop on as one and be honest with yourself. As much as my wanting to do my job is disruptive to their fun, them taking a job slot that could be better filled, is ruining the fun for others, as well. And yeah, I get the game is supposed to be a game and fun and we all have our own definitions of what constitutes fun.. Regardless, it is becoming obvious that I don't fit in with the way this server is played. Maybe I just don't comprehend the true spirit of the game. Maybe I should have tried to play roles with more responsibility. I had been getting excited to work as a QM and be all helpful and stuff... Now... Like the rest of life.. "Why bother?"

I noticed my Ban Request got denied. I'd like to thank whomever did that, as it will prevent me from succumbing to temptation and save you all from the shitty experience. Take care and have fun.

I'll look in to this Workplace server. Thank you. I hadn't heard of it. I have been farting around w/ a modified /TG/ Ministation codebase, making my own little map that is designed to be a "mining outpost" where the staff builds a station in the asteroid. The "Fun" would come from what they encounter in the asteroid... *shrugs* Link to the GitHub page is in my sig. I do have a couple friends who play. Maybe if I ever get this map finished.. I know Aurora is a generally tame and well behaved server... But there /have/ been rounds with folks just fucking off, like yesterday's "power outage party" and another round where Cargo spent the round playing Laser Tag. I've messaged HoP's and Sec about players who shirk their duties in such spectacular ways. So while I do not intend to, outright, call the server "Goon", it has certainly applied to a few players, in the occasional round. Yeah... You raise a valid point, with regards to my importing my own issues in to how I approach the game. You're right that it isn't fair to subject others to my bullshit, like that. Heck, that's why I spend all of my time in my apartment and only go outside if I absolutely have to. So do I do my normal thing and crawl back under my rock, or do I... Fuckit... I've not changed over this many years, it wont change in the next few days and playing a video game wont change anything, either... Think I'll just uninstall BYOND, entirely. Avoid the temptation and potential damage to myself and others.

So I have only been playing SS13 for about a month, now. Only really played here and on Paradise. Paradise was good in that it gave me a degree of perspective on the game's community and a point of reference for comparison. The concept of the game is really interesting and fun - Crew a space station, do neat spacey-things - try not to die. Working together, in our respective departments, to maintain/improve the station, research new and exciting sciences, uphold the Law, etc.. I really enjoy this idea. I tend to play Shaft Miner (nobody works the shaft, like Gerhardt! *cough*) or work in Supply. I'm not really familiar with the proper operations of Cargo, but I can be a good set of hands for hauling stuff and I don't mind the work. I'd like to start to learn QM more. I feel like having a QM who spends half their time at the mining outpost, managing the smelter and getting shipments ready for CentCom or various departments around the station, would be a much more pro-active QM, than one that sits at the Cargo desk while their Tech Goon it up, waiting for something to do. The Techs can always radio the QM if something important comes up... then it is a quick jump across on the shuttle and BAM! Issue dealt with! There's still managing the Supply Department and Ordering, that they'll need to do, but I do not view the time spent managing the smelter to be too much of an interference with the rest of their duties. And there's the rub.... I don't know why, but I really don't mind the "work" of my jobs, in game. I actually quite enjoy mining and getting resources over to R&D (regardless of whether they make me fancy toys.... Honestly, this is about as meta-play as I get, as I tend to hunt down a loot-room, once I have the Drilling Rigs set up and a few minutes to kill. It takes the pressure off R&D to rush a Ripley or Drill and I kind of like the hunt) I really grinds my gears when folks just Goon, all round. I hopped on the other day and half the station was without power (I had to crowbar out of arrivals) only to find that most of the station is at some party. Though, the CE was also, apparently, not on station and out in space... so w/e, I guess.. But that's just it.. Why would the crew throw a party when the station is in obvious need of maintenance? If you just want to Goon, then please don't join as a job. Join as Greytide and be honest with yourself. I'm about to get a bit heavy, here, so prepare yourself.. I deal with, on a daily basis, a crippling depression brought on by years of generally "not getting it". Not a day goes by that I don't contemplate harming myself and I am finding fewer and fewer reasons to stop myself from doing so. There are many contributing factors to this (depression is rarely ever just one thing, especially a 2-decade old depression), but this is relevant to the post; I have an absolutely horrible time holding down employment; I have had over 50 jobs in 14 years. Most (95%) I walk out of because I just cannot handle /people/. You're there to do a job. The job exists for a reason and you are being rewarded for it. Not to harass co-workers or share tales of your most recent sexual conquest. You're not paid to fuck around. Then I see these jerk-offs getting away with their shitty behaviour, neglecting their duties and generally wasting time, while I get crapped on by management for the smallest mistake, which becomes magnified as my co-workers have something to focus on. I quickly started to view SS13 as a means of training myself to deal with these issues, but I find I am not having any luck with this endeavour. My spacing myself yesterday (I made a post about this, which is archived, now) was a testament to that. Just as if I had walked out of another job, because I simply couldn't handle the behaviour of others while they are supposed to be working. Which ultimately boils down to my inability to handle myself. Self-loathing is a wondrous and magical creature, isn't it? Yeah, "it's a game, fuckin' chill out, Malarks!" But at the same time, I keep hearing people commenting about "M-muh immushun!" and how things are RP driven... Well... /You/ may not be getting paid to be on station and doing the job you joined as, but your character is! I dunno, chew on that.. So maybe SS13 isn't a good thing for me to be spending my time doing. Maybe I am taking it too seriously. I like the game and I like playing as a miner or in Cargo... But if I cannot get over my own issues of being unable to work along side folks not taking their job seriously, then maybe this isn't the game for me. Maybe discussing this will help me grow, as a human being and a player. No, I'm not quitting or saying make my ban permanent... Mostly just... "This is how I view the game" and am curious as to how folks will react. I have had some /amazing/ experiences playing on Aurora and it is a shame there are just 2 or 3 rounds that stand out as bothersome. Eh... anywho... That's me. Yup.

... So much as an acknowledgement that I need a break... Shit IRL is stacking up and when I logged on today to a station that was without power on half of it and a party going on at the same time... RD (who was deaf or something? And why did they need to come through Cargo to get to the asteroid and why were they using a mining EVA suit when R&D has their own shuttle, EVA and mining gear.) out mining while QM sat with his feet up... I just wasn't interested in dealing with it, today... So instead of going SSD, dropping my gear someplace for another player to use and finding a bed/cryopod... I just removed all my gear, out on the asteroid and walked off the edge and quit without replying to the admin asking why I just spaced myself. I have played dozens of rounds that were more stressful/disappointing (in terms of crew behaviour) and did not respond like I had, today. Just a bad day, didn't want to deal with life, etc... Maybe spacing myself was cathartic, though about as healthy as cutting myself. I think what really set me off was a lingering bit of salt from when someone decided to Borg a Ripley without clearing it with the Miners first. This was highly inconsiderate and a HUGE hassle for the miners (we had to be nearby to open doors and operate the shuttle.. Honestly, dumbest idea ever.) so when I saw the RD out there and was having trouble communicating and the QM couldn't be arsed to mine, himself... My brain went kinda blank and I just dropped my gear (all of it) outside the mining station. So, hey... at least [the gear] wasn't inaccessible to other potential miners. Aside from the suit the RD was wearing. I am not asking for an unban, I think it was only a 4 day ban. I'll take [my punishment] and be very grateful if it doesn't become perma. Hopefully I will have calmed down, by the time this gets lifted... If it never gets lifted, so be it... It is your community and if you don't want someone behaving like this, I will understand. Anyway, aside from this morning's malarky (ba dum tss), I have quite enjoyed my time on Aurora and haven't been (I feel) a real problem... Mostly cos I tend to just go and mine and only really get flustered when exceptionally stupid shit happens.. If I am welcome back, thank you and I'll endeavour to not log on while I'm in anxious/depressive moods. If not... Then thank you for the time. I have enjoyed it. There's some cools folks. Take care and have fun. Peas.

I support this idea. My friend and I had been wondering if that is what you had been doing.

I cannot recall having "bad RP experiences" with these characters.