tbear13 Posted May 18, 2018 Posted May 18, 2018 (edited) BYOND Key: Tbear13 Character Names: Mark Sulyard, Tyler White, Aeson Palmer, Devi, Deacon Ellis, Jake Whittier Species you are applying to play: Tajaran What color do you plan on making your first alien character (Dionaea & IPCs exempt): Wheat Have you read our lore section's page on this species?: Yezzir Please provide well articulated answers to the following questions in a paragraph format. One paragraph minimum per question Why do you wish to play this specific race: I mean, they're just interesting to me. Their backstory and culture are the most interesting out of everything, a big ol' planetary war with conservative-commie-kitties, what's not to like? Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human: Starting with the most noticeable, they talk differently. They tend to roll their r's and refer to themselves in the third person. They tend to express themselves differently, using different body language. As a species, they don't always get along so good, considering the fact that they've had two civil wars in the recent past, which have affected almost all of them in some way. Character Name: Mraliikijr M'hakramar Please provide a short backstory for this character, approximately 2 paragraphs Mraliikijr M'hakramar is an M'sai Tajara who was born in 2437, from a small village south-east of Tampiska. An only child, his father was a rancher, tending to a herd of N’hanzafu, while his mother did tailoring in-between the usual housework. His father, he knew, had fought for the rebels in the first revolution, though he rarely spoke of his time in the war. Overall, Mraliikijr had a pretty normal childhood, he was the class clown so to speak, he always had a joke to tell or a prank planned out. However, things changed for him when he was fourteen, the year Rhagrrhuzau Hadii was assassinated and the war broke out, his father was quick to join up with the ALA. Mraliikijir wasn't surprised that his father had chosen the ALA, given his previous time in the first revolution, and his father's reaction to the assassination of President Hadii, though he had expected him to consider all his options, looking before he leapt so to speak, rather then jumping right into the war. Nearly a year passed, when they received the letter. His father had been killed in a skirmish just north of B'urr. Mraliikijr was mortified, how could anyone hurt someone as kind as his father? Over the next few days, his sadness and grief seemed to change, becoming something akin to hate. He didn't know exactly what he hated, whether it was the PRA soldiers, himself, for not being there to help, or maybe it was was the other ALA soldiers for not saving his father. He didn't know who he hated, but he hated someone, and he wanted to make someone pay. So, Mraliikijr decided he would enlist with the ALA. He was only fifteen, but he figured he could pass as old enough. After all, his father had taught him how to hunt, how different could this be? He spent four months training, and was then assigned to a Kazarrhaldiye Tajara, which was called Rredouane's Own. Mraliikijr quickly gained a reputation as strange, almost heartless, and ended up with only a few real friends, one of those friends ended up teaching him the basics of Ceti Basic. Whenever a firing squad was needed, he was quick to volunteer, and as often as someone would listen, he'd rant about the PRA. Whenever they occupied a (formerly) PRA village, he often appropriated things, even going so far as to occasionally beat villagers for whatever petty excuse he came up with that day. He spent eight years like this, until the time came for him to re-enlist. Before he signed the re-enlistment papers, he was able to get leave and visit his Mother. When he arrived, she barely recognized him. She seemed almost afraid of him, she was reserved in conversation, and wouldn't even make eye contact. That night, he got to thinking, what had he accomplished in the last eight years? He'd tried to avenge his father by killing people who'd had nothing to do with it? He'd stolen and abused innocent people because they were 'the enemy?' What had he become, just to get revenge on people who'd done nothing to him? He decided he wouldn't re-enlist, but he felt like he couldn't stay with his former neighbors either. He didn't feel like he fit in, they were normal and he.. wasn't, he thought. He wouldn't re-enlist, and he wouldn't stay, so what would he do? He could leave, so, he did. He paid some smugglers to get him across the PRA border, which happened without incident. Once across the border, he applied for, and got, a work visa for Tau Ceti, and boarded a shuttle headed to Mendell City as soon as possible. The trip there was uneventful, and upon arrival he managed to find a cheap apartment in District 6. He looked for a job around some of the smaller businesses in the District for a few days, with no luck. Eventually, he decided to try a Nanotrasen recruiter, and ended up landing a job in security on the NSS Aurora. He'd never had any major gripes with Nanotrasen, despite the ALA's dislike for them. What do you like about this character? I mean, he's different, that's the biggest thing. He isn't the happy-go-lucky guy who likes to build stuff, he's more invested in the war than a lot of Tajarans I've seen. I like that he's far from innocent, having taken part in the atrocities that're so common. He's confused and in a place he doesn't quite understand, but he's determined to make something of himself, even if he doesn't know what. How would you rate your role-playing ability? I'd give myself a 7/10. My biggest issue is that, as a security player, I get too busy playing my role, and don't put enough effort into the roleplay aspect. That's getting better though, slowly improving. Notes: I had something to put here, but I can't seem to remember right now. Other than that, thanks for leaving feedback, if you do, and I'll metagrudge you 5ever if you -1 me. Edit: If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to shoot me a PM on discord. tbear13/brm375#4142 Edit 2: Fixed up a few things. I was kinda tired as I wrote it up, so if you see any contradicting or out of place info, that's probably where it's from. Edited May 20, 2018 by Guest
Guest Menown Posted May 19, 2018 Posted May 19, 2018 Tajara as a species aren't new to war. Nearly every single portion of their planet is scarred by it, and nearly every single one knows somebody, as well as the horrors that come from war. That said, the obviously sympathetic nature to the story implies remorse for the actions committed which contradict with the original reason for joining, as well as the apparent eagerness to put down people in a firing squad, or robbing them. Then out of nowhere he's in Human space, working for NanoTrasen, a company he supposedly dislikes. Kudos for you creating an ALA character, as we don't really have many, let alone ones that partook in the atrocities they've committed. I don't typically offer anything to an application but feedback, as I feel that's more important than a + or - 1. I can offer insight into experiences with Tyler White, who I haven't seen in a long while given what I believe was a brief hiatus of yours. You know how to roleplay, and I'm sure you could manage to do well as a Tajara. My main concern is falling into the aspect that every single m'sai is an ex-soldier/security officer, which we see a lot here on Aurora. This isn't entirely your fault, merely a byproduct of the lore itself, that results in the typically edgier, almost anime m'sai that we've seen in the past. My hope here is that with you, we find that the m'sai that will plague the security department will only bear the faintest resemblance of the m'sai of the past, and you'll pave a way forward with some change. But given the backstory, I don't have much hope. My belief is that everybody deserves a chance if they've presented a backstory that fits in the lore, and considering I'm not a loredev, it's out of my hands. Good luck.
tbear13 Posted May 20, 2018 Author Posted May 20, 2018 So, thanks for the feedback. I'll go through and reply to each point. Tajara as a species aren't new to war. Nearly every single portion of their planet is scarred by it, and nearly every single one knows somebody, as well as the horrors that come from war. So, yeah, I should've mentioned the first war at least once or twice. I'll edit that in, not sure how I forgot to include that in the first place. That said, the obviously sympathetic nature to the story implies remorse for the actions committed which contradict with the original reason for joining, as well as the apparent eagerness to put down people in a firing squad, or robbing them. Did the backstory really seem sympathetic? I honestly hadn't intended for it to be. My writing is, obviously, not that good. Then out of nowhere he's in Human space, working for NanoTrasen, a company he supposedly dislikes. Yeah, the part where he moved to Tau Ceti was short, maybe a bit too short. I'll look over it and see if I can add some more detail. As for working for NT despite the dislike, that's kinda hard to justify, but at the same time, that's how the ALA was written, considering their mission statement is "freeing the population from corporate overlords," or something along those lines. I'll edit the backstory to have it make a little more sense though. Kudos for you creating an ALA character, as we don't really have many, let alone ones that partook in the atrocities they've committed. Yup, you don't see many morally ambiguous Tajara. I don't typically offer anything to an application but feedback, as I feel that's more important than a + or - 1. I can offer insight into experiences with Tyler White, who I haven't seen in a long while given what I believe was a brief hiatus of yours. You know how to roleplay, and I'm sure you could manage to do well as a Tajara. I'm glad that you like my RP, and yeah, I have White on a hiatus, dunno when I'll bring him back. My main concern is falling into the aspect that every single m'sai is an ex-soldier/security officer, which we see a lot here on Aurora. This isn't entirely your fault, merely a byproduct of the lore itself, that results in the typically edgier, almost anime m'sai that we've seen in the past. My hope here is that with you, we find that the m'sai that will plague the security department will only bear the faintest resemblance of the m'sai of the past, and you'll pave a way forward with some change. But given the backstory, I don't have much hope. My belief is that everybody deserves a chance if they've presented a backstory that fits in the lore, and considering I'm not a loredev, it's out of my hands. Good luck. So, yeah, I see where you're coming from with this. There're a good amout of M'sai security officers, but mechanically, and lorewise, that's not surprising. I'll keep the edge to a reasonable level, and continue my mission to exterminate anime. I plan on keeping the character a little more traditional than most, as well. Thanks for the feedback, again!
Worthy Posted May 20, 2018 Posted May 20, 2018 They're a decent role-player. I've never witnessed them breaking character or failing to uphold any RP standards. I think they'd manage a Tajara character just fine. +1.
tbear13 Posted May 20, 2018 Author Posted May 20, 2018 They're a decent role-player. I've never witnessed them breaking character or failing to uphold any RP standards. I think they'd manage a Tajara character just fine. +1. Thanks for the feedback
Mofo1995 Posted May 25, 2018 Posted May 25, 2018 Whenever a firing squad was needed, he was quick to volunteer, and as often as someone would listen, he'd rant about the PRA. Whenever they occupied a (formerly) PRA village, he often appropriated things, even going so far as to occasionally beat villagers for whatever petty excuse he came up with that day. ended up landing a job in security on the NSS Aurora. Application accepted. Here's your stunbaton, welcome aboard.
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