Sandvich123 Posted October 17, 2018 Posted October 17, 2018 (edited) BYOND Key:Sandvich123 Character Names: Lynsey Feufer- Medical Resident/ TICKET-Station Bound/Quill Chen-Hydro-atlas fag/Minso Quill-Sol engineer wuss. Species you are applying to play: Dionae-worker What color do you plan on making your first alien character (Dionaea & IPCs exempt): Neon Tree color Have you read our lore section's page on this species?: Yes Please provide well articulated answers to the following questions in a paragraph format. One paragraph minimum per question Why do you wish to play this specific race: Diona are creatures I enjoy to interact with and they can be funny or sad depending on the Diona's. Diona's are also very cool due to the fact that the workers are made of seven or six nymphs help the Diona process emotion that a nymph can not do. Yonnimer the big OwO has also showed me an awesome time with the Dionaea, as well as Simon has even made a Diona to show me how they work. Diona's are the furthest species from humans. Diona's emotion are different then humans, such as a human would get mad for being called an idiot, while a Diona would want to know what mistake they made. Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human: Dionaeas are almost like tanks, but in other ways different. Dionaeas can withstand more damage than other organics, though they not have the mentality to fight, in other words they are passive. They also do eat, but are not picky! It would have to be organic though, as a plastic wrapper does not have much for a nymph. Dioneas can defend themselves but are more eager to learn instead of harm, and do not understand property ownership as well as humans do. Dionaeas are also keen to learning about new things and watching other organics act and live their daily lives. They also can’t relate to any other organics on stations, that is why RPing with them is so great. Character Name: Revivl of a Flame Please provide a short backstory for this character, approximately 2 paragraphs Reykjava-kii, a Skrell was diagnosed with a mental illness and was placed in a mental hospital one the world Jargon IV. The mental hospital was located in Weilshi Sea, off the coast of the rings. On the mental hospital island which was above water, many of the patients were encouraged to go explore the gardens the hospital had to offer. Ever now and then, the staff would plant a few nodes to surprise the patients and hope they would connect with the nymphs. Reykjava-kii could never seem to connect to any of these nymphs, and usually closed himself off to the staff when they asked questions, but he did enjoy to walk through the gardens and see the nymphs play. Reykjava-kii just didn't enjoy feeling forced to own one. One day, as Reykjava-kii walked through the garden, and little nymph ran up to him. A clear runt of other nymphs around. The nymph nudged at his arm, and brushed it with a probe. Reykjava lowered it for the nymph to get a proper bite out of. The nymph happily chirped and ran off into the bushes, perhaps to go find food for the day! A few days went by, not much had happened and Reykjava-ill took walks with his little runt, but still stayed closed to staff. A day later, Reykjava-ill overheard a mentally ill Skrell with disorder to small animals, attacked a something thinking it was going to kill him. Reykjava-ill, went for his walk in the garden as usual. Reykjava-kii noticed his little shadow wasn't following him today. Reykjava-ill recalling what one of the nurses said, started to look for his little friend. He soon found his little runt in a pot, chittering a bit as it was curled up. Reykjava-kii ran up to see what was bothering the nymph, after walking closer Reykjava-kii noticed the nymph had a gash on it's left side. Reykjava-kii thinking quickly, scooped up the runt, then dashed inside. Reykjava-kii ran inside his own bunk room, and grabbed the nearest light and some left over Skrell-snack. The nymph accepted the food with a bit of a low, but not fearful chitter anymore. Reykjava-kii called a nurse to his bunk for head tail garment box. The nurse came back with one, and Reykjava-kii thanked the nurse and quickly worked the tailbox into a makeshift home for the nymph. The doctors were amazed how Reykjava-kii started to interact with staff members, requesting things for his nymph, and even telling little stories about his nymph. Reykjava-kii would cradle the nymph at night, telling his little runt stories about his days working on a frigate as an engineer. Some years pass by, Reykjava-kii is released with flying colors and they allow him to keep his nymph. Some other years pass by, and Reykjava-kii is happily living on a home with his own private garden on the surface. He still enjoys to cradle his nymph, which is now named "Runt of The Garden". Runt lived with Raykiava-kii for a for another ten years, and Raykiava-kii encouraged Runt to lay seeds around the surface garden. By 11 years, Runt had enough nymphs to merge into a full grown worker. Every day, Raykiava-kii would go out and see five little nymphs run around and play. In the nights, Ryakiava-kii would still be up, watching the waves move, and his friend running around. Runt always hungry for more theryos, and would always ask Raykjava-kii more story's about his engineering days. Raykjava-kii detecting he could not fulfill that, lent runt a few books on SM and different power sources used in the galaxy. Runt loved reading each book and his other nymph buddy's would also read them, sitting for hours just looking at one picture. Soon they wanted to learn more about SM, so they would Raykjava-kii have to stop every week just to find new books on SM theory's. Raykiava-kii, sad but happy to see his little friends grow up, decided it was time Runt and his brothers saw the universe for what it was. Raykjava-kii He encouraged Runt to form with the other nymphs, and attend Hongsun Park Engineering Institute. They excelled at academics there, and was always eager to learn. After graduating, Revile of a flame was employed by NT with a program that would snatch top students from Hongsun. They were first put on a frigate that flow over the Jargon IV, then twenty years later, moved to the aurora to work on the SM. What do you like about this character? So, since they came off a Skrell planet, AI is a bit new to them as the nymph had been isolated for most of the time. Revival of a Flame enjoys spending times in the gardens and learning about all the new plants that grow there, Revival also attempts to talk more about swamps, since that's where they came from. Revival also enjoyes talking about the SM, and will stop at a bar just to speak about it. How would you rate your role-playing ability? 7/10 (The reason I gave that is I had a vamp round and kind of went robust and beat people to death instead of actually being a vamp. I also used to play security and was the valid boner type. This was all very long ago. Security valid was a good four months ago, and my vamp happened two months ago) Notes: Edited October 29, 2018 by Guest
ElChucho Posted October 17, 2018 Posted October 17, 2018 Ticket is a good person that is completelly not pointing me with the ping gun to +1. Now really, they are a good player who has made my day multiple times, good at their job and with a great RP, also memes, has many memes. And is always nice to have some new dionaeaeae around. Full +1.
Allakai Posted October 22, 2018 Posted October 22, 2018 I absolutely love Sandvich and his roleplay. He is pleasant to experience in all shape way and form! Though it does come off as a little TOO goofy at times, I don't mind whatsoever. His interactions with my character: Jazmine Hoover, is wonderful. I truly get a giant grin when I get to roleplay with his characters and would absolutely LOVE to see more of his Dionae in action. An extremely strong +1 from me!
Jpowell59 Posted October 24, 2018 Posted October 24, 2018 Always enjoyed rping with him and his character Lynsey Feufer. +1 here from me as well.
Neinbox Posted October 24, 2018 Posted October 24, 2018 Hello, [mention]Sandvich123[/mention] ! Finally had the time of day to write this up, so here we are! BYOND Key:Sandvich123 Character Names: Lynsey Feufer- Medical Resident/ TICKET-Station Bound Species you are applying to play: Dionae-worker What color do you plan on making your first alien character (Dionaea & IPCs exempt): Neon Tree color Have you read our lore section's page on this species?: Yes Please provide well articulated answers to the following questions in a paragraph format. One paragraph minimum per question Why do you wish to play this specific race: Diona are creatures I enjoy to interact with and they can be funny or sad depending on the Diona's. Diona's are also very cool due to the fact that the workers are made of seven or six nymphs help the Diona process emotion that a nymph can not do. Yonnimer the big OwO has also showed me an awesome time with the Dionaea, as well as Simon has even made a Diona to show me how they work. Diona's are the furthest species from humans. Diona's emotion are different then humans, such as a human would get mad for being called an idiot, while a Diona would want to know what mistake they made. Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human: Dionaeas are almost like tanks, but in other ways different. Dionaeas can withstand more damage than other organics, though they not have the mentality to fight, in other words they are passive. They also do not eat, have no sense of being insulted, and do not understand property ownership as well as humans do. Diona’s are also keen to learning about new things and watching other organics act and live their daily lives. They also can’t relate to any other organics on stations, that is why RPing with them is so great. Looking good so far, liking the answers! A few minor things, Dionae do need to eat if they want to immediately heal themselves. You can't fill an empty space with nothing! And Dionae are capable of defending themselves, as well as at least sympathizing with other spcies. Onwards! Character Name: Overseer of the New Please provide a short backstory for this character, approximately 2 paragraphs A lone nymph crawls out of it’s pod and look around, it it makes a quick rustle checking if any other nymphs are around. The rustle is never answered. The nymph soon spots a light shining through a heavily damaged wall on and the nymph makes a happy chirping at the sign off light. But this is no regular light, crawling through the vents for a bit almost risking death to find the light source. Soon the nymph found what he was looking for. A big hole in the side of the station had revealed the station near a sun surrounded by damaged structures. The young new born nymph settled down by the open spot and rested for a bit. The nymph gets restless and starts to look around the station but can only make short trips due to the lack off light. The lack off light was caused by protective shutters to stop the crew from being blinded from the sun. The nymph over six years eating off the remains of dead crew, candy wrappers, and laying it’s little seeds. Had soon grown into a full Dionae. Overtime will searching the station, it spotted a storage room where the children would stay. Creaking around, …..its curiosity took the best of it and it started to eat the PDA. Soon it spotted a second one and was moving in for the kill, while staring to pick up the PDA, it flashed on showing unable to connect to NTnet. The Dionae creeked off into a corner scared by the new light and buzzing sound. The Dionae opened a toddlers file for speaking ceti Basic, and Skrellian. Once again, curiosity got the best of it and the Dionae started to touch it. The Dionae over the next month learned medical through the PDAs for children and medical residents that were. It even found some proto humans that weren’t in prime condition due to the vacuum of space. It would find one and try to fix it’s busted lungs, but the Dionae learned more from the PDAs. I understand Dionae are not picky eaters, but this Dionae see’s anything edible, they will go for it! So, there's a bit of conflicting information here. For starters, the obvious: Dionae have no reason to eat PDAs. It's not organic in origin and although they could probably pull minerals from it, the process would more or less be not worth it. Wrappers is sort of the same if they're the plastic kind. And again, you are missing a fundamental ability that Dionae, specifically Nymphs, are capable of when consuming organic matter. Please re-read the lore as there is quite a bit of necessary actions done in this part of the background- this seems much like a re-run of your previous application. Additionally, what kind of a facility is this? The Diona was going through it’s routine of searching for food when the tree heard a sound that he had never heard in his life, now stronger and more adapt to the lack of light, he heads toward the noise. The Dionae settles in a dead plant pot and watches the door where the sound came from. The door opens suddenly with a grinding noise. Three men in voidsuits run off carrying a stassies bag. The Dionae overheard them talking about an attack on a shuttle and they need help for this blue slimy creature. The Diona emerged from the shadows and offered it’s help. The Diona was confused why they stopped on the station if the medical bay was far from operational, and the three voidsuit figures answers with “This station on our logs still read as active, where is your doctor?!” The Dionae explained they were the only life form on this station, but they could offer assistance if the shuttle had a medical bay. The three men having nowhere to go, decided this is the best way for the blue thing. Two went off to find parts for the damaged ship while one in a red voidsuit followed the Dionae into the shuttles medbay. The Dionae having the knowledge just fitting for this…(almost like the writer can’t think of anything else since it is two in the morning). After helping the skrell recover in the medbay from shrapnel and a popped lung due to the attack. The two men came back onto the shuttle announcing they found just enough to make it to the next sectore. After the shuttle was fixed, the shuttle left for the nearest station for full reparies. As the shuttle zipped through space, the skrell sat down with the Diona, who was making a nest of some wires and lamps. The skrell thanked the Dionae for helping him, and then proceeded to ask Dionae it’s name. The Dionae slowly answered back “Overseer...of..the…...new” Over the next few years, the Dionae would ride along with them offering medical help to whatever they could. The Dionae even patched up a plant when the Dionae saw the leaf was torn. After flying with them a few years, the Dionae decided to part with them to work for NT. With a few last goodbyes, the Dione parted ways with the crew off on an NT. NT officials soon dealt with the Diona and got it a job working there in 2456. station and started to learn more about medical over the years till after hired by NT as official medical staff. This event started at 2445, jump to 2456 and Overseer of the New was hired to NT as a medical resident. More inconsistencies here. You're confusing me a lot with just what stage of life your Diona is at. Are they a Nymph? A Gestalt? If so, how can it fit in a plant's pot? When did it merge? Next, the situation. I doubt that station would still be listed as "active" without any outgoing communications nor responses. People would have realized their loved ones weren’t calling them back over the course of six years. On top of that the extensive damage and disuse should have been painfully obvious to the boarders. No power, no workers, etc. Again, there’s size confusion. Somehow able to preform surgery but also make itself a "nest of wires and lamps". And during that time being with the crew, what was it’s purpose? How did they deal with something that was a stranger who had presumably ate the previous crew and not get it registered in Tau Ceti space- if that’s where they were? There's other information that's vague here, namely the years: Event began in 2445, then lasted to 2456. 2456-2445=11 years in this Dionae's past transpired. About five or six are spent growing and producing a single seed per year before merging into a Gestalt. So, 11-6=5 left for mostly travel with the gang as a tag-along crew member apparently, and then medical schooling before being hired on by NT as a full medical staff. Now, I'm not sure how many years were spent in transit, and how many were spent with schooling so they could earn their degree, depending on what they specialized in and what degree they aimed for as per the qualifications stated in the Wiki: Qualifications: At least 30 years of age, applicable MD from an accredited school and a completed 2 year of residency. Since then, they have been an employee of NT for approximately four years, bringing us to the present day of 4560. If you could tell us how many years they spent traveling and what kind of degree/education and how many years they spent perusing that education, that would be a great help. What do you like about this character? Overseer of the new has been isolated from humanity for a long time, he has only had a glimpse of them besides the small crew and the dead crew at the station. And the Diona spends most of its time learning to speak Ceti better. The Diona is still learning about medical, since the PDAs were outdated, and never mentioned about the Varruca. They are always happy to lend a helping hand, since they can’t distinguishes good or bad. They also go on regular leave to Epsilon Ursae Minoris to learn about themselves. Since they also lived on a deserted station for so long, the Dionae prefers to find its own food, such as mice and other items, or just might out right steal some food not knowing they did wrong. I understand Dionae are not picky eaters, but this Dionae see’s anything edible, they will go for it! How would you rate your role-playing ability? 7/10 (The reason I gave that is I had a vamp round and kind of went robust and beat people to death instead of actually being a vamp. I also used to play security and was the valid boner type. This was all very long ago. Security valid was a good four months ago, and my vamp happened two months ago) Notes: Now, the initial question of this part is affected by my original statement of your missing a critical ability Dionae have that sticks out to most everyone. It's an interesting feature to not include Vaurcae into their knowledge, which I do like a lot. But Dionae are capable of distinguishing good from bad, at least at a very base, primitive level. Petting=good, punching=bad. Things like clickbait or ads... that's a bit more advanced learning, so it's fine if they're gullible, but if they learn a lesson that lesson should stick with them. Ignorance for a Dionae cannot last forever! As for an enlightenment journey to Epsilon Ursae Minoris, Dionae usually know all they need to know about themselves through base instinct; they don't know much else except for their unending hunger to learn. But that planet has vast reserves of knowledge for everything else they could possibly wish for. Stealing is fine, but remember, if they learn that food belongs to someone then it belongs to that someone and not them, then that lesson should stick. I also appreciate your honesty, and honestly Dionae should make a very good teacher in taking it easy! Now, overall. I've said this before, and it bears repeating: this is very much like your previous app. It is also very similar to quite a few other apps that took the whole "Survival Station 13" take. For some it worked well and was unique enough, but it is starting to feel generic with the frequency and similarity at which these applications appear. If you want to, I suggest you make it into a more "decrepit hospital" situation planetside, like a haunted asylum if you want to ('tis the season!) which will give it that "original" feel as it will be more believable and far easier to execute as a story. But it is only a suggestion, and you can continue to work with this background for a story- but it does need fixing, and you do need to revisit the species lore. Some may call me nitpicky, but if you give a detailed background and there's holes in your story and you're asked ICly, it'll more or less end in disaster. This is more a "reality check" so when the time comes, you're able to go out there with a pretty solid character. And as always, review previous applications to see exactly which ones have been accepted and which ones were not to get a feel for what I'm looking for. That will be your biggest ticket into your success if you follow their examples. To cleanly answer my questions, just @mention me, post snips of my questions/statements in quotes, and answer them so nothing turns into a mess.
Sandvich123 Posted October 24, 2018 Author Posted October 24, 2018 Alright, after looking over this and talking with Neinbox on discord, I shall be redoing the background part! Also going to pave in those other questions that I did make a few oops on! I will post it as soon as I can!
Neinbox Posted November 1, 2018 Posted November 1, 2018 I would like to bump this thread as it has received an update, and a reminder to the applicant that I will be reviewing it a little later. I have been unfortunately very busy, but I have read through and my overall impression is that things have made a large improvement compared to their original attempt which was much like their first application. My second review will be posted a bit later. For now, I hope for others to post their own review and give feedback as well.
Neinbox Posted November 2, 2018 Posted November 2, 2018 Official Review Part 2 Boogaloo Character Name: Revivl of a Flame Please provide a short backstory for this character, approximately 2 paragraphs Reykjava-kii, a Skrell was diagnosed with a mental illness and was placed in a mental hospital one the world Jargon IV. The mental hospital was located in Weilshi Sea, off the coast of the rings. On the mental hospital island which was above water, many of the patients were encouraged to go explore the gardens the hospital had to offer. Ever now and then, the staff would plant a few nodes to surprise the patients and hope they would connect with the nymphs. Reykjava-kii could never seem to connect to any of these nymphs, and usually closed himself off to the staff when they asked questions, but he did enjoy to walk through the gardens and see the nymphs play. Reykjava-kii just didn't enjoy feeling forced to own one. One day, as Reykjava-kii walked through the garden, and little nymph ran up to him. A clear runt of other nymphs around. The nymph nudged at his arm, and brushed it with a probe. Reykjava lowered it for the nymph to get a proper bite out of. The nymph happily chirped and ran off into the bushes, perhaps to go find food for the day! A few days went by, not much had happened and Reykjava-ill took walks with his little runt, but still stayed closed to staff. A day later, Reykjava-ill overheard a mentally ill Skrell with disorder to small animals, attacked a something thinking it was going to kill him. Reykjava-ill, went for his walk in the garden as usual. Reykjava-kii noticed his little shadow wasn't following him today. Reykjava-ill recalling what one of the nurses said, started to look for his little friend. He soon found his little runt in a pot, chittering a bit as it was curled up. Reykjava-kii ran up to see what was bothering the nymph, after walking closer Reykjava-kii noticed the nymph had a gash on it's left side. Reykjava-kii thinking quickly, scooped up the runt, then dashed inside. Reykjava-kii ran inside his own bunk room, and grabbed the nearest light and some left over Skrell-snack. The nymph accepted the food with a bit of a low, but not fearful chitter anymore. Reykjava-kii called a nurse to his bunk for head tail garment box. The nurse came back with one, and Reykjava-kii thanked the nurse and quickly worked the tailbox into a makeshift home for the nymph. The doctors were amazed how Reykjava-kii started to interact with staff members, requesting things for his nymph, and even telling little stories about his nymph. Reykjava-kii would cradle the nymph at night, telling his little runt stories about his days working on a frigate as an engineer. Some years pass by, Reykjava-kii is released with flying colors and they allow him to keep his nymph. Some other years pass by, and Reykjava-kii is happily living on a home with his own private garden on the surface. He still enjoys to cradle his nymph, which is now named "Runt of The Garden". Runt lived with Raykiava-kii for a for another ten years, and Raykiava-kii encouraged Runt to lay seeds around the surface garden. By 11 years, Runt had enough nymphs to merge into a full grown worker. Every day, Raykiava-kii would go out and see five little nymphs run around and play. In the nights, Ryakiava-kii would still be up, watching the waves move, and his friend running around. Runt always hungry for more theryos, and would always ask Raykjava-kii more story's about his engineering days. Raykjava-kii detecting he could not fulfill that, lent runt a few books on SM and different power sources used in the galaxy. Runt loved reading each book and his other nymph buddy's would also read them, sitting for hours just looking at one picture. Soon they wanted to learn more about SM, so they would Raykjava-kii have to stop every week just to find new books on SM theory's. Raykiava-kii, sad but happy to see his little friends grow up, decided it was time Runt and his brothers saw the universe for what it was. Raykjava-kii He encouraged Runt to form with the other nymphs, and attend Hongsun Park Engineering Institute. They excelled at academics there, and was always eager to learn. After graduating, Revile of a flame was employed by NT with a program that would snatch top students from Hongsun. They were first put on a frigate that flow over the Jargon IV, then twenty years later, moved to the aurora to work on the SM. What do you like about this character? So, since they came off a Skrell planet, AI is a bit new to them as the nymph had been isolated for most of the time. Revival of a Flame enjoys spending times in the gardens and learning about all the new plants that grow there, Revival also attempts to talk more about swamps, since that's where they came from. Revival also enjoyes talking about the SM, and will stop at a bar just to speak about it. So [mention]Sandvich123[/mention] , there's a small inconsistency that I'd like you to look into, by taking a peek at their reproduction section in the wiki lore about why the timing seems off with the Nymphs. However, I could be misreading: Are you saying that the Nymph has been encouraged to create seeds throughout the ten years that it has been with the Skrell and by the eleventh year it had a good number to make a Gestalt? If that is true, five Nymphs means there would be a limb missing, typically an arm.
Neinbox Posted November 2, 2018 Posted November 2, 2018 The applicant has made me aware that it may take them a week to respond due to their being busy off-screen, which is fine. I am willing to wait on their replies as I have been in a similar circumstance and this application is more or less at it's close, and will remind the applicant within a few days.
Sandvich123 Posted November 4, 2018 Author Posted November 4, 2018 Official Review Part 2 Boogaloo So @Sandvich123 , there's a small inconsistency that I'd like you to look into, by taking a peek at their reproduction section in the wiki lore about why the timing seems off with the Nymphs. However, I could be misreading: Are you saying that the Nymph has been encouraged to create seeds throughout the ten years that it has been with the Skrell and by the eleventh year it had a good number to make a Gestalt? If that is true, five Nymphs means there would be a limb missing, typically an arm. [mention]Neinbox[/mention] looking at the wiki, not sure if I could be misreading this, but it say's about once a year a seed is dropped. So after 11 years, there should be enough nymphs to form a gestalt? Food of course is no problem since Runt and the other nymphs live on a private garden and a diet would consist of eating berries, leaves, and absorbing the light. If I did make a mistake, I would be happy to fix it of course. I believe I could be mistaken on the wiki since it reads Gestalts lay down the seeds and it could take longer with a nymph. If I am mistaken, I would be happy to fix this!
Neinbox Posted November 7, 2018 Posted November 7, 2018 @Neinbox looking at the wiki, not sure if I could be misreading this, but it say's about once a year a seed is dropped. So after 11 years, there should be enough nymphs to form a gestalt? Food of course is no problem since Runt and the other nymphs live on a private garden and a diet would consist of eating berries, leaves, and absorbing the light. If I did make a mistake, I would be happy to fix it of course. I believe I could be mistaken on the wiki since it reads Gestalts lay down the seeds and it could take longer with a nymph. If I am mistaken, I would be happy to fix this! Okay, so it was what I thought it was. You're saying that it put down seeds all throughout the years, when at first I thought it said that it did it all in one. So, we're all good here. And now, for the verdict of this application. At first it was a pretty rocky start, more or less reposting a copy-paste of your first application that had many holes in it and honestly wouldn't have survived. But I see you did put in a lot of effort, and you do mean well. You worked hard through it all. And even though you could have forged ahead with the same story, you decided to play with my suggestion to stand out and experiment with their background, making a complete 180 from edgy to absolutely wholesome, and I adore what you've done. Where you decided to take it wasn't an expected route, and it's a delight to read! For the applicant themselves, I've seen a lot of dedication to this species and hard work, and while there may be some bumps along the way I've no doubt that they will do their best to smooth it out like they have been. I haven't seen any faults in their roleplaying either, and they tend to be pretty amicable overall. I can't wait to see where this story will take them. Application Accepted.
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