(Withdrawn)Rataca6060- Vaurca app

[Guest]

[b]BYOND Key:[/b]Rataca6060
[b]Character Names:[/b]Oscar Tennant
[b]Species you are applying to play:[/b]Vaurca
[b]What color do you plan on making your first alien character (Dionaea & IPCs exempt):[/b]
[b]Have you read our lore section's page on this species?:[/b]RGB 101,0,0   (if that is pure red)
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[b]Please provide well articulated answers to the following questions in a paragraph format. One paragraph minimum per question[/b]

[b]Why do you wish to play this specific race:[/b]The hive mind dynamic seems more appealing to me than the other dynamics going from a human character and the species itself doesn't seem to be as common as the other ones while playing and i would like to explore the RP around the different hives and how people respond to the species. Ontop of the fact i like insectoid things anyway. I also quite like the thought of playing a humanoid space insect. 

[b]Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human:[/b]Apart from the fact they are space insects which opeate in hives with a different society and biology etc. The bound would be mindless drones who have to obey orders and are specialized into one role. The unbound would be more human like due to not being labatomised and having more free will but still highly specialized into one role and spend time/have spent time in VR. Both are also usually (heavily) augmented to specialize them more. They also cannot communicate in common well.

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[b]Character Name:[/b]Za'Akaix'Tek' Zo'Ra 
[b]Please provide a short backstory for this character, approximately 2 paragraphs[/b]
Za'Akaix'Tek' Zo'Ra was born to the glorious Ta'Akaix'Zoleth'akeh Zo'ra brood destined to become a warrior unbound for the brood. After the maturing process the neural socket was inserted and the virtual realty training in warfare of hive was started.


Whild spending time in virtual reality Za'Akaix'Tek' Zo'Ra took a intrest in Combat engineering, force protection, gurillia warfare and Inteligence operations. During his exposure to such things he also became intrested in how and was allowed to study how the Humans conduct warfare, with the limited information on Humans he decided he would attempt to collect more on the matter to better both his knowledge and the hive's knowledge.

Leaving VR reality with Just enough military training in his preffered fields to get by, he was met by the crippling food shortages of the brood the woes of being out of virtual reality and feeling hungry.

Luckily being allowed to study at Nanotreason Academy [blank] and escaping the broods food shortages. Za'Akaix'Tek' Zo'Ra enrolled with the intent to become a security cadet for them. 

Teks combat engineering training consisted of varied skills including building structures and demolition of various structures. Weeks were spent in virtual reality to perfect each skill viewed as important to a combat engineer. At one point four days were spent learning how to create and then attack a tunnel system (doors, lighting etc included).


Tek found out the brood was having food shortages a short time outside virtual reality when noticing the numbers of warriors of the brood drastically decreasing and also not being the first in line for food and thus going hungry. In addition to most of the skills learnt in virtual reality of combat engineering being used to help produce resources for the tribe and their militant origins being mostly overlooked. 

Tek ha also grown partially found of collecting objectes to do with diffrent cultures militaries and police forces. 

[b]What do you like about this character?[/b] They are willing to leave the brood to study what they are interested in both for themselves and the brood. 

[b]How would you rate your role-playing ability?[/b] Im decent at it. Might prefer to just do the job i have on the station rather than chit chat much. So i think i would be suited for a species thats highly objective in its actions. 
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[b]Notes:[/b]  Mostly a copy paste with a short edition of a hobby. Also first use of new code feature bear with issues

[Muncorn]

Gonna quickly say here, take the whole thing outside of the code formatting, it's awfully hard to read because of it and eliminates the point of the HTML coding built into the template. I'd also advise going through and having a quick spell and grammar check, as I'm not sure if the Nanotreason is a misspelling or a joke.

I think a good idea to expand on the character; as we have fairly little here; would be to expand upon the reasons why you've included certain things here. Say why he took interest in combat engineering and force protection and all, it doesn't do much to just say he did, explain why and expand on it from there. The purpose of the application is to show the lore team that you understand both the race you're applying for, and that you have a well thought out and reasonable character, and while its easy enough to just spout out some random sounding terms and say he liked them, it means a lot more to associate them properly with the character. This point applies quite nicely to the final addition you have; why not tell us what sort of objects he collects, any personal favourites of his collection? 

As much as it may seem otherwise, the app is strong enough, and its clear enough you do have some genuine interest for the species, and just haven't quite been able to show it well enough. Add a little more flesh, and hope some people that actually know something about vaurca can ask you some questions that you can answer to set this a little more in stone.

[Guest]

On 11/27/2018 at 12:33 AM, Muncorn said:

Gonna quickly say here, take the whole thing outside of the code formatting, it's awfully hard to read because of it and eliminates the point of the HTML coding built into the template. I'd also advise going through and having a quick spell and grammar check, as I'm not sure if the Nanotreason is a misspelling or a joke. 

Didnt work out how to do it or else i would have taken it out and its a copy paste from a older app, i run into the habit for not overly spell checking words which arent in dictionaries and recognized by software. Along side most of it not working well in my dialect or breaking.  edit:  and i dont think i can edit it now anyway.

 

A note, my byond has broken to some extent and i will be troubleshooting it either tomorrow or today if i dont forget, if its a significant issue and not my anti virus blocking it i will more than likely withdraw this.

Edited November 28, 2018 by Rataca

[Guest]

On 11/27/2018 at 12:33 AM, Muncorn said:

sort of objects he collects, any personal favourites of his collection?  

Not thought of what specifically collection, just generic everything and everything would leave it open.  and favorites none  so far.  and that can be written off to a new collection.

 

double quote as i couldn't edit and it seems merit enough to distinguish the two posts.     I do also semi rely on asking people who all ready have vaurca characters and the lore head for the things not clear in the wiki.  Obviously im going to semi suck as being one at first.

[Bygonehero]

Application withdrawn by applicant