MASMC Posted March 29, 2019 Posted March 29, 2019 (edited) BYOND Key: MASMCCharacter Names: Calvin FlickingerSpecies you are applying to play: TajaranWhat color do you plan on making your first alien character: Ivory (Roughly RGB[205, 205, 192], although likely to not be exact)Have you read our lore section's page on this species?: I have, and am referencing as I write this application to ensure quality backstory and lore-friendliness. Please provide well articulated answers to the following questions in a paragraph format. One paragraph minimum per question. Why do you wish to play this specific race: I personally wish to play this race because the additional gameplay interests me, and I enjoy RP as races that aren't human. They add extra flavour that normally you wouldn't be able to do, and gives an entirely new perspective on how different characters will treat you. As a real-world example of this, a white man (specifically John Howard Griffin) examines how life for the average African American in the United States, writing a journal as he goes (which ends up being called "Black Like Me", published. I'll try to find a link for anyone interested). I would enjoy seeing the different perspective, as this man did, although in a different way. The differing mechanics from human characters also seems to be an obstacle to overcome, and I wish to battle with those as I play as well. Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human: Even down to the minute details of your poses will be highly different from humans. You have many more options for relaying body language, such as your ear and tail positioning, your different attitude sets, and much more. As for the general speech patterns, you'll typically use a Russian or Arabic based name, and you will tend to avoid referring to yourself in first person as much as possible from what I've picked up on this server. As for mechanics, you will definitely be much warmer on the station than you would be on your home planet of Adhomai, and therefore need to add additional small details. The way you wear your jumpsuit (if you wear one, skirts and such are the other alternatives. I know you can't run around nude.), or any additional accessories you have will be different and should be reflected in flavour text. There's also the usage of language, and you'll need to find some balance between what languages you use for conversation, be it speaking in Tau Seti Basic or Siik'Maas (or whatever other language you speak, since it varies by race). Character Name: Maysak KirillovichPlease provide a short backstory for this character Maysak Kirillovich has always had an affinity for biology and anatomy. He did well with those topics any time they were brought up, and has never once felt scared or ashamed at the sight of blood. In fact, he has always wanted to help those who were bleeding. But that plays a major role later in life. First, we must go back to when Maysak was a little kit, fresh from the womb... Born in the year 2428, Maysak grew up during the uprisings and revolutions on Adhomai. Maysak, being the youngest of his siblings, was left with his parents as his brothers joined into the uprising, fighting alongside other Tajara for the sake of the rebels (or at least, that's what the family was told. There is no account of any of Maysak's siblings taking part on the rebel's lines...). By the time Maysak had grown old enough to understand what was going on, the uprising had come to a close. His home city, left intact from its location being so far off the fronts, had accepted the People's Republic of Adhomai willingly, hoping it wouldn't be left behind in technology, nor would it be home to fighting with the possibility of being destroyed. Maysak's life through that time was mostly uneventful. He picked up scraps of knowledge and literacy from books that he found laying around, left by those passing through his city. His siblings, however, have never returned. Following along Maysak's journey, he eventually learns how much he truly likes biology and anatomy, finding out that there are schools for him and his love of such fields. He leaves home, without the support of his family who want him to join the military like his brothers, and goes off to the Trizar State Medical Academy. There, he gains formal education in the medical field, although basic. Mastering his field will come with practical applications instead of theoretical. While at the Academy, he learns Tau Ceti Basic to a highly acceptable standard by most races, although he is still unable to hold a full conversation outside of his own languages of Nal'rasan and Siik'Maas. He was removed from the Academy during the second revolution, and he reached out to NanoTrasen, who employed him as a cargo technician for the duration of the second revolution. After that time, he was allowed to become a medical intern. What do you like about this character? I quite enjoy his willingness to learn, as well as the portion of his backstory relating to not doing what his family wanted him to do (I can completely relate to it, my family absolutely despises me for wanting to pull off a double college major in music and IT, mainly the music part) How would you rate your role-playing ability? Personally, I'd rate my ability depending on a few factors. If I'm well-rested, and not mentally dead from my music classes or whatever, I'd say I'm pretty good. Otherwise, I drop down to mediocre, and if I'm just generally tired you'll barely get a few sentences out of me before I just kinda pass out and miss your messages. I attempt to keep it as high up there as possible, though. Notes: May come as a shock I'm applying so quickly, but I have played on Aurora long ago, I just recently got back into SS13 after computer failure and some stuff on other game servers. I am also willing to learn, if anyone wants to teach, or has any qualms about my writing etc EDIT: Fixed some spelling mistakes, didn't catch them on my proof-read! Edited April 4, 2019 by Mofo1995 Spelling issues
DeadLantern Posted March 29, 2019 Posted March 29, 2019 It is fine, but there are a few problems. The mention of books raises alarms. Common Taj hate books because it's a symbol of oppression. Maybe if he was a child of a past Noble, it would make sense for him to be reading books, but as of now, he shouldn't be reading books. Secondly, why was he removed from the college? Did he just leave? Other than that the story doesn't show a fleshed out personality. I can't really derive character traits from this. Maybe think about why he is not averse to blood. Why does he go against his family. Why does he not join the military, etc.
Guest Marlon Phoenix Posted March 29, 2019 Posted March 29, 2019 2 hours ago, DeadLantern said: Common Taj hate books because it's a symbol of oppression. Where did you get this info?
DeadLantern Posted March 29, 2019 Posted March 29, 2019 7 minutes ago, Senpai Jackboot said: Where did you get this info? "[Books] were almost universally considered a symbol of oppression and luxury by pre-revolution Tajara," and considering this character was raised by pre revolution Tajara, I doubt they would let him read books.
MASMC Posted March 30, 2019 Author Posted March 30, 2019 13 hours ago, DeadLantern said: Maybe if he was a child of a past Noble, it would make sense for him to be reading books, but as of now, he shouldn't be reading books. He is interested in the knowledge. Maysak doesn't follow every ideal set forth by the commonplace. As it comes to him being raised by pre-revolution Tajara, it's highly unlikely he would follow every rule set forth. He read them outside of supervision, without knowledge of his parents. Once I finish writing out the entire backstory instead of the short summary of what I have in mind, I can give that as well. That entire thing is pretty much a book on Maysak's life at this point. 13 hours ago, DeadLantern said: Secondly, why was he removed from the college? Did he just leave? I shouldn't say removed, I should say he left, yes. 13 hours ago, DeadLantern said: Other than that the story doesn't show a fleshed out personality. I can't really derive character traits from this. Maybe think about why he is not averse to blood. Why does he go against his family. Why does he not join the military, etc. He didn't join the military due to him being averse to fighting in general. I may have forgotten to write that in. His lack of aversion to blood stems from his interest in biological and anatomical standpoints. He went against his family because of those two things, something that would likely be common for those in their teens/
Guest Menown Posted March 30, 2019 Posted March 30, 2019 What do you hope for the character to have achieved or acquired, in a year from now?
MASMC Posted March 31, 2019 Author Posted March 31, 2019 8 hours ago, Menown said: What do you hope for the character to have achieved or acquired, in a year from now? I hope for him to have become known in the Aurora community as a positive influence in the medical field, and to achieve his dream of becoming a doctor. There is no chance for him to become a CMO, because of the restrictions, but maybe some time in the far-flung future that will be able to happen.
Mofo1995 Posted March 31, 2019 Posted March 31, 2019 I will be reviewing this application tomorrow. Thanks for your patience!
Mofo1995 Posted April 3, 2019 Posted April 3, 2019 I'm not going to provide an in-depth review because of all the tajara apps floating around and I don't have a whole lotta free time to both review them and leave thoughts of what I liked and disliked. If there were any glaring issues I would certainly point them out though. Your character meets my standards for tajara and demonstrates a high enough level of understanding of lore, though I say this mostly from your responses to questions posed in the thread which helped me better gauge your understanding when considering it alongside your application. Accepted.
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