Complaints Wanted - Senri Ishikawa

[incognitojesus]

So, I saw that Forgotten had done this on the old forums, and got a lot of feedback for his character.

I'm not exactly looking to eliminate this character, but I'd like to improve him in any way possible.

So, here we go.

And please, no joking about it and trolling or whatever. I actually want to improve Senri/his records/flavor text/blah.

______________________________________________________________________________________

Flavor Text:

A man with a young face with bright green eyes and mid-tone shade of brown hair that falls in a slight wave, stopping just past the nape of his neck.

He has a slight hint of developing laugh lines, and a dimple on his left cheek. A beauty mark can be seen on his right cheekbone when it isn't covered by his hair.

He stands at under average height, and is of average build, but looks like he has some strength to him, and his shoulders are a little broader than normal.

His hair falls just short of his right eye, and seems to be held there with a slight amount of gel, as it doesn't move often.

His face has a bit of stubble to it, as if he hasn't shaved in a day.

______________________________________________________________

Medical Records:

//BEGIN MEDICAL NOTES//

|| Height>5'8" || Weight>150 lbs

|| Allergies>None || Cybernetic Enhancements>None ||

|| Hair Color: Brown || Eye Color: Green

Medical Notes:

(07OCT2444)//Several hairline fractures in the patient's leg (tibia & fibia) as well as well as moderate cuts and bruises to the patient's calf.

Reported Reason is a shuttle accident.

(28JUL2456)//Contraction of a pathogen while aboard the NSS Aurora (#stam4734) has resulted in damage to the brain and heart. Brain damage was treated while aboard the Aurora, although heart damage proved irreversible. Advanced scans at Mercy Medical Facility (Biesel) show that the pathogen lays dormant deep inside the tissue of the patient's heart.

(16AUG2456)//Patient suffered damage to the kidneys. | Cause: Unknown | Damage was successfully treated and patient was returned to normal duties.

//END MEDICAL NOTES//

________________________________

Security Records:

//Security Notes//

DOB: 23MAY2424

Human | Male | Asian

172.2 cm | 150 lbs

Green eyes | Medium-length brown hair

Prosthesis/Cybernetic Enhancements: None.

Incident Reports:

See Attached ((http://bit.ly/1sPWuIS))

//End Security Notes//

________________________________

 

Employment Records:

//BEGIN EMPLOYMENT RECORDS//

**Current Employment**

----------------------------------------

Ishikawa, Senri is currently employed by Nanotrasen

--Contract signed: 24JUL2445--

--Contract expires: 24JUL2458--

Assigned Workplace//NSS Aurora (In high orbit above Biesel)

Assigned Department//Medical

Occupation:

Emergency Physician (2445-2449)//Nanotrasen Mercy Medical Facility//Biesel

Medical Doctor (2450-2555)//Nanotrasen Mercy Medical Facility//Biesel

Chief Medical Officer (2455-present)//NSS Aurora

----------------------------

**License and Certifications**

- EMT License awarded by Lowell City Residential District 64 Community College (27JUN2443) -

- Awarded BS degree in Biology from Lowell City Residential District 64 Community College (16MAY2446) -

- Completed Medical School at Lowell City College of Medicine (20DEC2450) -

**Additional Skills**

-----------------------------------------

- Qualified for bartending duties -

- Minor brute force entry skills (cryptology) -

-----------------------------

//END EMPLOYMENT RECORDS//

_____________________

Backstory:

Senri Ishikawa was born in the depths of Lowell City on Biesel, the middle-child of a struggling family. Growing up, he was witness to many of his father's crimes. In fact, his first memory was of Hideo Ishikawa divvying up some sort of powdered substance between himself and Senri's uncle. As a young adult growing up in the seedy underbelly of Lowell City, Senri had to take part in some petty crime himself to support his sickly older brother and younger sister after the death of their parents in a mysterious Nanotrasen shuttle accident, which was later dubbed a "malfunction of the shuttle's engines."

His life took a sudden turn when he decided to take courses to become an EMT, remembering the sirens of emergency shuttles ferrying wounded around Lowell City. After earning his EMT certificate from a local college, Senri was contracted by Nanotrasen to serve aboard their Mercy Medical Facility. Working a stressful day job and working at his degree was not easy, but he was eventually graduated from the Lowell City College of Medicine with his PhD and began employment as a Medical Doctor at Mercy Medical Facility. After the commissioning of the NSS Aurora, Ishikawa was transferred to the new, lucrative research station.

__________________________________________

Fears and Dislikes:

Senri has a fear of clowns and finds them to be very creepy, and so, has avoided every Lowell City Carnival that's been held. He also has a deep, deep, fear of being betrayed by the people he cares for. One of his biggest dislikes are people who aren't honest with him, and those who attempt to sugarcoat bad things.

Quirks and Oddities and Other Stuff:

Senri still has the katana that was used to kill Leonin Smythe, having performed the autopsy on him and tucking it into his bag and forgetting about it. He doesn't really know what to do with it, seeing as Smythe was buried already, so it sits deep in a closet back in his apartment.

Senri has tried to cut ties with the childhood friends he grew up with, for fear of them dragging him into some illicit activity. It has worked, for the most part.

He's had a few crushes on co-workers, but tries to keep things formal whenever possible. These people have included Jenifer Clewett, and December Cadwell.

His closest friend aboard the Aurora is Phoebe Essel.

______________________________________________

And that's all, folks. Go for it.

Since then, he has been happily employed

Edited August 19, 2014 by Guest

[GlamourChariot]

Apologies for the lack of constructiveness in this comment, but if nothing else you've successfully made me feel absolutely fucking ashamed of the depth of the records of my characters.

Hopefully you take it as a compliment.

[Blue]

Honestly, there's like nothing wrong with Senri that I can easily tell. Everything looks normal, well developed character, very well done.

But.

 

He's had a few crushes on co-workers, but tries to keep things formal whenever possible. These people have included Jenifer Clewett,

 

That.

[incognitojesus]

I know. >_> It was a short lived thing.

[yeahchris]

He needs to give orders. I rarely get the feeling that he is actually commanding when he is CMO.

[incognitojesus]

Yeah, usually when the round is going slow, I let the labs do as they please.

I'm assuming you're mainly referring to the round that's going on right now.

If so, the reason I wasn't giving many orders was because of the whole comms thing.

But other than that, noted. Thank you, Chris, and I'll try to rectify that.

[Rusty Shackleford]

I'd suggest updating the lore-related portions of the backstory. Little things, like the name of the capital city of Biesel, the location of the Aurora, etc.

[Skull132]

Yeah, usually when the round is going slow, I let the labs do as they please.

I'm assuming you're mainly referring to the round that's going on right now.

If so, the reason I wasn't giving many orders was because of the whole comms thing.

But other than that, noted. Thank you, Chris, and I'll try to rectify that.

 

There's a difference between not giving orders and not providing direction. Even during extended, the latter is needed. At the very least ensure that your staff is engaged with a project, or something, and not spooling down to having to enact a soap opera amongst themselves.

[Indietides]

0/10 worst character

stop acting like senri has a love life