[ACCEPTED] Hepatica's Unathi whitelist app

[Hepatica]

BYOND Key: hepatica01

Character Names: Klementine Kuznetsov, Meria Volvalaad, Zoya Kuznetsov, Jeremy Kemmer, Seymour Dahahn, Karyme Moghadam, Salvation, Saa Linha (ERT Kataphract, the very one my character is based on)

Species you are applying to play: Unathi

What color do you plan on making your first alien character: Green

Have you read our lore section's page on this species?: I have, once last night, and various parts while writing this app

Please provide well articulated answers to the following questions in a paragraph format. One paragraph minimum per question.

Why do you wish to play this specific race:

I've never been against the idea of making an Unathi whitelist, outside of making jokes. However, I've had 30/30 characters for years, and am constantly having to delete characters when I come up with a new idea. Basically what I mean by this, is that I've never had a great idea for an Unathi character that I would commit too, let alone be able to apply with. But after playing Kataphract ERT quite a few times, including on a canon round, and having a few ideas for this character floating around in the back of my mind, I decided to apply for it with this character as a visitor. I've always found Kataphract to be so interesting and cool, and I figure it'd be interesting to visit rarely every now and again to see people I had met on the canon round, and if Kataphract ERT pops up again, it'd be neat to have people know the character assuming I'm in the role, in the same idea of TCFL.

Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human:

Well, aside from the extremely obvious, they have a completely different set of moral and spiritual views (for the most part) then a lot of humans do. While in a select view ways they are similar in their backstory (civil war, religious conflict, etc), at the same time they are also different in their way of handling their society, such as the feudal system, or the wastelanders and the various ways they etch out their existence in the desert lands. Their culture, the way they interact with each other, such as frowning on hugging amongst adults, showing your neck as a sign of submission or intimacy, etc. But especially the code of honor and of course, one of the biggest differences from modern in universe humans, the separation between women and men in Unathi society, which is likely seen as barbaric and outdated amongst other races.

Character Name: Trazarial Linha

Please provide a short backstory for this character

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1CZ76SHNE9pG8FkGUrSKkib_P89YcqFniSJ6ZKqDXm_w/edit?usp=sharing

 

What do you like about this character?

This character is one I had played as a Kataphract ERT a number of times, and had slowly thought of a brief backstory for while doing so. It wasn't until I played them in a canon round that I thought about making them an actual full fledged character. I started writing what I thought would be maybe a three or four page paragraphed, and... Well, ended up with a 13 paragraph backstory complete with it's own prologue and "where are they now". Whoops. I can't even begin to fully describe how much I love everything about this character, from their struggle to prove themselves, to their casting aside what their father wished of them to pursue their own goals, to their view on the spirits and how they live on within her. I would hope all 13 paragraphs of this character would truly show how much love I put into this character.

How would you rate your role-playing ability?

I consider myself to be an average roleplayer, sometimes above average.

Notes:

I didn't expect the 13 paragraphs, but I started writing and by the time I realized how deep in I was I was nine paragraphs in without an end in sight. It was a bit hard writing the story without using he/him or she/her, so I had to constantly use their name so people wouldn't be confused by they/them usages at a number of points.

Edited December 9, 2020 by Haydizzle

[DeadLantern]

You nail the tonal atmosphere of the Unathi. This is exactly what Unathi are about, in my opinion. Your descriptions of Skalamar and how an average clan looks like line up closely with my view. Such aspects of the lore are not expaned upon; I often think about them when creating a character, and you obviously do as well. You run wild with the lore, and that is exactly what should be done when creating a character.

I was at first, a little scared of the length. I was pleased to see that most of it was fluff--not that that is bad. This is the type of backstory I would expect to find for a full character sheet, not just a whitelist application, so it is perfectly fine. Instead of saying Linha had an encounter with hivebots and their master died, you go on and describe the whole encounter. Instead of saying Linha had an encounter with a shaman, you go ahead and describe the dialogue. It is abnormal for a whitelist application, but apt for a character.

The backstory and lore knowledge is great, in my opinion. You know what it is when you are an Unathi. But, the character. Often times, in communities such as ours, there is a term thrown about. That term is Mary Sue or Gary Stu (in your case is it Terry Tue?). I'm not accusing Linha of being such a character, because they obviously have flaws. They are loyal to a fault, and incredibly, incredibly honorable to their self-contract. They are very dedicated to themselves and are very competitive, probably due to the nature of their upbringing. I do not take qualms with these faults, but here, they are presented at face value. Here is a living and thinking being that was raised to fill one purpose--what does Linha think of this? I feel the comparison to a genetically-created soldier is apt. This is a person with an incredibly constricted child-hood. Is he affected by this? To me, Linha is exactly what they were supposed to be. They are honorable, which is good in some cases and bad in others. They are competitive, which is good in some cases and bad in others. They are overly loyal and dedicated, which is good in some cases and bad in others. These flaws are here, but they lack the depth that we might see in another character. I know Linha is a good warrior, but what does that mean about their psyche? They were forced to be this way, so do they have any other longings? Have they ever wondered if their childhood was robbed from them? How does this affect their relationship with their father? You have presented the character and the faults, but it sounds like Linha has just taken them and ran with it. Surely, at some point in their life, they must have contemplated why exactly they are that way. A slew of character development can come from this line of thinking. As of right now, Linha is just a very good warrior, which is a trope we've seen before, and it lacks a certain depth you find in other characters.

You may notice I am being overly critical about this application. Well, it is very rare that an application comes with this much character inside of it, so excuse me for that. And, please, please, do not think that this character is bad. This character is great, but I know there can be more. It is a slate, which can be expanded upon. I understand fully that you may be very well aware of what I just described, and plan to elaborate more on these points in game; in any case, that paragraph was mostly superfluous. I read what I read and that was my immediate reaction. I know that you are a competent roleplay and can take this character in a variety of excellent directions.

I am usually not so critical with the characters that come with these applications, but I know you are a creative person, and I just sort of wrote. In any other application, I would support this without a problem. The amount of information you provide, however, compels me otherwise, because you clearly have put a lot of time in this character.

Moving on, there is more you could describe when it comes to Linha's thoughts and opinions (which are usually saved for this part of the application process, so it's fine that you didn't describe them in your application). Such aspects that you could elaborate on are as follows:

You say that Linha is very interested in the Contact War. Did they think it was honorable? Do they believe the Traditionalists were in the wrong? What do they think about the enormous cost of life reaped during the war, and the inflation of the Hegemony because of it?

What does Linha think about the encroaching Wasteland and the Traditionalist remnants? Dishonorable curs? Misguided youth?

And finally, you say that Linha is Th'akh, so what do they think of Sk'akh, the Hegemony's favorite religion? What do they think about the ruined Akhanzi order? And what about Si'akh or Aut'akh?

That is all that I have to say. In this current state, I very happily support the approval of this whitelist.

Edited December 8, 2020 by DeadLantern

[Hepatica]

@DeadLantern

I tried to not go too overboard with the character, and yet ended up with 13 paragraphs, so I tried to leave some things more up to implication to cut down on length. For example, the fact that Linha practically abandoned their clan and left their father on his death bed without a word is suppose to sort of hint at how they feel towards their father. I could have done this in a few more places as well I feel but I was already feeling bad for the length of the backstory, tbqh. But essentially it's meant to show that while Linha did care for their fathers approval at first, and their father was always a good parent to a degree, that Linha grew out of both wanting that approval and being close to their father, as clearly their father only cared for them to be an upstanding Unathi in many ways. I only didn't expand on that as much as I could have for the sake of it meaning to be a short backstory in the first place. Their faults are most certainly there, be they implied or otherwise, but again in the interest of not loading a massive backstory onto everyone reading it, which I already failed at doing a bit, I chose to keep things like that a bit more subtle and implied.

 

7 minutes ago, DeadLantern said:

You say that Linha is very interested in the Contact War. Did they think it was honorable? Do they believe the Traditionalists were in the wrong? What do they think about the enormous cost of life reaped during the war, and the inflation of the Hegemony because of it?

Linha was a child, seven I believe when the war started. At the time all they cared for was how much glory could be gotten from coming out as the victor of such a war. At the time they had no interest in if it was honorable, who was in the wrong or who was in the right, they were interested primarily in the glory of it. As they grew up with the war in the background of their life, and living in Skalamar, they were exposed to a lot of anti-traditionalist propaganda. They saw the dishonorable acts some took just to survive, but at the end of the day, more then anything, Linha only wanted to test their prowess in the war. As the war dragged on, Linha grew immense disgust for the traditionalists, in part due to the propaganda, but also due to the usage of nuclear weapons, which they considered to be an affront to true combat. As far as the cost of life, Linha thought little of it for the ones who fought and died for what they believed in, but they were unnerved by the innocent lives taken by the nuclear devices.

 

26 minutes ago, DeadLantern said:

What does Linha think about the encroaching Wasteland and the Traditionalist remnants? Dishonorable curs? Misguided youth?

Linha sees the wasteland as a threat to the livelihood of the very planet, and the Traditionalist remnants as nothing more then cowardly, useless things not even worth the effort of being put down. Linha actually holds somewhat of a fondness for the Queendom, at least for their leader, though they consider it a futile effort, and one that will certainly not last.

 

31 minutes ago, DeadLantern said:

And finally, you say that Linha is Th'akh, so what do they think of Sk'akh, the Hegemony's favorite religion? What do they think about the ruined Akhanzi order? And what about Si'akh or Aut'akh?

Linha doesn't focus as much on religion as many might, but it is still an important part of their life. They, however, accept that there will always be differences in religious beliefs, and that such petty things, to them anyway, are not worth coming to blows over. Linha is confident in themselves and who they are, and doesn't feel the need to defend such a thing now that they are older, and likewise doesn't go out of their way to chastise others of a different faith. Linha has a great deal of respect for the perseverance of the Akhanzi order after what had occurred to their temples, and considers the elders of this order to be honored religious folk. As for Si'akh and Aut'akh, they spare no thoughts for the two any further then being heretical scum, while Linha does not believe in conflict over religion, they all the same have no interest in interacting with followers of either such things, nor even learning about them past what is common knowledge.

 

Thank you for the feedback!

[DeadLantern]

"At the time they had no interest in if it was honorable, who was in the wrong or who was in the right, they were interested primarily in the glory of it."

Now that is quite interesting--also pretty realistic, factoring in a child's eagerness for war and the propaganda that the Hegemony provided. I like that you have added this detail, it's sure to cause clash on station in the future. It might also go against Linha's core ethics, which is also pretty cool.

The second answer is fine, but the third is a little strange. Religious conflict is the heart of Unathi lore--but it's fine if this character doesn't focus on it. The answers are fine, and the response you gave was also good. I understand the need to cut down the text of certain things in the interest of length.

Once again, I support this application!

[Haydizzle]

Hello! Thank you for taking the time to apply.

I will always condone long backstories; they are simply a delight for me to read, and the more someone has to write the better! With the longer ones too I try not to be too picky over finer details unless it is pertinent, and even then it is usually just a simple correction.

As for the application itself, it shows a strong affinity for roleplaying, getting into character, and, most importantly, the lore itself. You go to great lengths to talk about key moments in the story, and while not a requirement, it is always very interesting to see how people characterize these moments and how they make their characters.

I do have one question of value at the moment. The Unathi Religion page talks about how unathi can claim the soul of a different spirit; if you are born a warrior (man), you can claim one of a healer (woman).

Quote

Like the Sk'akh, most Th'akh shamans believe that a soul could have been given a body of the different sex when developing in an egg. This means that a particularly strong-willed female with aspirations to enter a traditionally masculine field could be said to have the soul of a man trapped in a woman's body in a mindset that is both surprisingly progressive to outsiders but also extremely patronizing.

My question pertains to this: since Linha has never cared for womanly pursuits and has always had a fixation on becoming a true warrior, what has kept them from simply claiming the soul of a warrior? As I understand it, this is a big consideration since doing this would mean a lot of the conflict and drive in the backstory ceases to be as a result.

Edited December 8, 2020 by Haydizzle
Bad word choice

[Hepatica]

1 minute ago, Haydizzle said:

My question pertains to this: since Linha has never cared for womanly pursuits and has always had a fixation on becoming a true warrior, what has kept them from simply claiming the soul of a warrior? As I understand it, this is a big consideration since doing this would mean a lot of the conflict and drive in the backstory ceases to be as a result.

The idea I was going for here was that, while Linha does not believe themselves to be a woman, nor have the soul of one, they also do not believe themselves to be a man, nor to have the soul of a man. Rather, the soul they have is their own soul, hence the struggle and the emphasis on trying to prove themselves. Others might assume they have the soul of a warrior regardless, and Linha likely wouldn't correct them on it, but Linha is meant to be portrayed as some one fiercely proud of who they are and who they've become. While younger they would become enraged from being referred to as a woman, but as they got older and more mature, they stopped caring about being referred to as either, not caring for gender one way or another, though naturally they were almost always referred to as a he. As a warrior soul is considered a male's soul, and Linha does not consider them self a male, it felt wrong to me to go with this approach. Plus, I personally think it makes for a better back story. The long story short being, Linha is Linha, as far as they're concerned, they don't have a man's soul in their body, nor a woman's soul, they have their soul and that's that. What other Unathi think on the matter, Linha accepts as it's customs and tradition, and nothing Linha could or has any interest in changing, so long as they don't consider them lesser or weak as a result, in which case Linha would absolute rebuke.

[Haydizzle]

This is a very good answer and fits with the methodology of Th'akh I feel. I'll be conferring with Shen on this and get back to you.

[Haydizzle]

Did you know there's more than one Hepatica?

Shen liked your replies to Dead's questions as well as the application itself. Application accepted! Feel free to reach out on Discord with any questions or concerns.