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Here's how it goes.

I'll start a story, you decide what to happens next, no matter how ridiculous, and the story goes on until the character dies or the world ends.

You are Darren Davis Davidson, Jr, a archaeologist for a community college in Raleigh. You CLAIM to be an archaeologist- after seeing Raiders of the Lost Ark like, twenty times. You find yourself in your office, when an old colleague arrives.

"Darren. We've found it. The lost city of Rubanai in Brazil. Will you come with us and help search for it? We have evidence it's in an area of remote jungle."

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You step away from the door and plant your hands on your hips. "Fuck it." You nod, rubbing your nose briefly. "I pack the assault rifles, you bring the food." You move to sit at your desk. Your colleague raises a brow. "It's an archaeological dig. The city .. We don't need assault rifles. The city is.."


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You open up your laptop, boot up BYOND, and begin to play on /tg/station 13 as a clown. You make a book labeled "Nuclear Authentication Disk" and horrify the Captain into launching a manhunt, all the while giggling quietly to yourself. Your colleague's mouth is moving. You stop and turn to him, paying attention. "-lord of snakes and shadows, took up a loan from -" Your attention slowly fades back to your clown, as he's getting the boot, heavy style, by the security team. "A- Hey. Hey. Are you playing a game?"

"No! I'm listening." You reassure your colleague, as he pulls a map our of a folder, along with photos of statues and hieroglyphics of a horrifying thing or another- A god, maybe, you're not really paying attention. You mumble and try to mimic his face as he speaks, typing a complaint to the admins about the security's response- and subsequent execution (pistol to the back of the head) to your poor clown.

"So... did you get all that?



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You stare off into the distance, hands resting on the edges of your keyboard. You hear the honking of Honkers University- And your father is there, the great Mordecai the Dancing Yiddish Clown. He tells you it will one day be you going there, when you're older. Suddenly, breaking glass. Fire. Masses of honking. A pie is thrown. Your father shoves you out of the way of a backdraft and is charbroiled, screaming in horror. A mime arsonist runs away, and the big-top burns down. You stare off into the distance, a slight tremble to your lips.

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Nod along and ask him when you're traveling, then go and visit the nearest shady merchant, make sure to disregard your wallet and bring a bible instead, obviously your partner is sending you on a quest from GAWD. And when have god's chosen needed money, huh? I ain't never seen Moses buy those slaves, you dig?

Bonus points if he's selling out of a van and has access to a box of poisonous snakes

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You step up over your desk and walk out of your office, leaving your coworker behind.

You arrive at a shifty-looking fella's store, and he offers you some things.


You buy -

- A rubber dong

- A van, labeled "JESUS INSIDE" on the side with spraypaint

- A box of snakes

- A revolver (no questions asked)

- A bible.

You then murder the shifty looking guy with the rubber dong, despite his initial giggles that he's being hit by a floppy nylon trouser snake, but eventually you find a way to end his life. You then arrive at your office. "JESUS HAS SENT ME, YES, HE HAS, YES, INDEED, JESUS WANTS ME TO TAKE THIS JOURNEY ALONE, BBAH GAWD, YES INDEED." You slap the color out of his face and take the map, then storm out of your office!

Where does your adventure go?!

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I'm an idiot)

You take the arduous journey through Mexico and numerous other countries, taking favors and doing nefarious deeds- But sure enough, you've made it to the lost city of Rubanai HOLY SHIT THERE'S FUCKING SNAKE MONSTER SKELETONS- A tribal cultist stands at the top of a temple and notices your sweet van. He beckons you over. He has a knife.

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