Suggestion - Morale Support Slime

[Colfer]

What is the topic of your suggestion?:
slime induced euphoria 

What does your suggestion entail? (Please provide articulate and well worded answer)
Psychiatrists are outdated, in a world where slimes exist, psychiatrists need not apply, as they've already been replaced
Have you ever had a cute slime jump onto you and give you a big hug while it simultaneously rips vital DNA and genetic data from skin contact, sometimes causing severe electrical burns? I have, and while initially scary, once the electrical burns fry your nervous system and stop pain signals to your brain, its actually a highly pleasant experience, because you can

1) Pet the slime 
2) Cherish the slime
3) Show the slime to your co-workers (They will be jealous of your slime and try to remove it/kill it/take it for themselves)
4) Forfeit mortal/material possessions to the slime, up to and including your life
5) Take the slime home, slimes reproduce rapidly and are completely free, I have 15 of them in my living quarters and nobody has questioned why my roommates have gone missing yet
6) Abuse diona nymphs not having rights by utilizing their healing factors under UV light to cultivate slimes, and make them love you forever, by having nearly infinite nutritional gain, and thus, slime gain, by letting slimes devour diona nymphs on a regular basis, who really cares about those tree huggers anyway

How would this be balanced for the server, if messing with the balance at all?
Well maybe when joining as a psychiatrist/therapist, instead of it spawning you as your slot (Which was probably lame anyway), it'll spawn you as a light pink pacified slime (which is cool) with all access to the ship (To provide morale support across the entire ship), because everybody knows that, not only so psychiatrists use their job to smuggle drugs anyway, they also don't actually do anything (EVER) there is (NO PROOF) of a psychiatrist doing anything, they keep telling me that "I cant share therapy records with you because thats medically confidential" YEAH OKAY BUDDY, JUST LIKE HOW "THE SUPERMATTER ENGINE EXISTS" BUT ENGINEERING WONT LET ME TOUCH IT obviously the chamber is just a holodeck hiding some kind of ///////////////////////////////

Any additional notes?
Slimes can even express emotions through rudimentary facial expressions when trained to do so, so slimes are sapient and we should stop testing on them forever because that kills them whilch is bad
 < proof he smiling ilike this 🙂
He WANT TO LIVE

[icedcabbage]

I am in full support of this suggestion, beautifully written.

[Afya]

I agree. Though the emotional support slime should be able to speak common and should use ChatGPT to make responses to help the crew feel better.

[Cloned Creature]

This is superb and amazing. Nuff’ said.

[Shimmer]

Honestly why limit it just to psychiatry? Thinking too small too small

All of medical will undergo rapid slimification that way antags can never hurt us

[Scheveningen]