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Dessysalta - Moderator Application


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Basic Information
Byond Account: Dessysalta
Character Name(s): I have a lot. I'm most known for Kira Vazquez (formerly Vasquez), GEVURAH, Sadie, Kasa'an, and most recently Camille Lancaster.
AI Name(s): N/A
Discord username + tag: remratsuken (rem_ratsuken)
Age: 20
Timezone: PDT
When are you on Aurora?: I have a pretty open schedule, but I'm most online from around 5 PM - 5 AM EST. 

Experience
How long have you played SS13?: 2-3 years now, I think.
How long have you played on Aurora: 1.5 years.
How much do you know about SS13 (Baystation build) game mechanics?: I'm about as well-acquainted as it gets when it comes to anything service, ops, or security related (and some science/engineering stuff). I have an idea of how medical works but not to much depth. In regards to admin tools, I've not touched any outside of build mode a very select handful of times on /TG/. I also have every species whitelist but Skrell so I have a good idea of how each species works and how to fix certain (minor) bugs (in theory).
Do you have any experience moderating for an SS13 server?: Not yet.
Have you read through the criteria thread and believe that you mark off all the criteria?: Yeah! I think I hit most if not all of it, and I'm more than willing to learn in any case.
Have you ever been banned, and if so, how long and why?: Never banned! Warned once back in I think April last year.

Personality
Why do you play SS13?: I have to do an "as the Earth cooled" length of explanation just to sate my own giddiness.

Spoiler

Space Station 13 actually came after Space Station 14 for me way back to the black and white days of 2020-2021 ish. Back when I was in high school, I was really struggling for outlets to take me away from my life at home and in class; ways to get away from other people and the general stress of growing up. A couple friends of mine introduced me to SS14 because it was new and still in early access, it marketed itself as the SS13 killer in a lot of ways, from a new engine to a different playerbase. Of course, I didn't know anything about SS14 or 13 at the time and only after watching Sseth and Mandalore's videos on it was I convinced to play SS14.

SS14 was fun. Not a whole lot of fun, I should clarify, the staff team (for the official servers) is so profoundly different and frankly difficult compared to SS13 that it didn't take long for me to swap over, but in that in-between period when I was playing SS14, I was having the time of my life. Space clowns, space mimes, shitcurity officers and random ass Syndies with guns—what wasn't to like? I love reliving my old memories of accidentally drugging a guy to death and assuming one little bit of adminbus meant I could robust someone, or replying to "What are you doing to the mime?" (whom I had just brutalized and sent down disposals moments prior) with "What should have been done a long time ago." I understood its potential as a medium for writing and roleplaying even if at the time there weren't any MRP, let alone HRP servers up. I put a lot of effort into making my Sherrie Jet Rushine (whom would become Sherrie Jet Scott, more on that later) and now it's a tradition for me to remake her in every server I come across, whether I play her once or a thousand times.

What was daunting about SS13 was the archaic engine, I had largely ignored it up until that point because I'd been told it was "inferior" and "bad" and had been talked about to death by some YouTubers who had just discovered Lifeweb was a thing and figured if I went to play the game I'd have some dude I'd greytided twenty minutes prior show up and egg my house. When I finally did try SS13 it was before the BYOND hub had issues with stealing your info and whatever, so I joined the most populated, lowest ping server (/TG/, obviously).

What followed was such a mess of memories and friends and experiences that I can't possibly hope to put all here. I remember mixing my first drink, getting hit with a toolbox for the first time (and hitting myself on accident every twenty seconds), my first traitor round and my first wiz round, even my character getting married (hence Sherrie Scott, and even Kira got married on Aurora). I remember each ahelp I got or asked for in order to help me accomplish something, but the most important thing was how understanding the administrative community was. That's not specific to /TG/ mind you, it's here, on Bay, everywhere. You ask, you get answers. You apologize, they get it. Contrasting this with my only concept of in-game roleplay up until that point (playing GMod Dark RP servers when I was 13-14 LMAO) planted a seed in my head that grew into a love for the game and its community.

I've had some of the greatest narrative interactions in my life on some of these servers, even throughout every single text format roleplay I've gone through or thought of or adminned (or are currently adminning) for. I've had good times, bad times, and everything-in-between times. Not to keep bringing up /TG/ (because I worry that says to other people I'm an LRP/MRP fanatic), but this comment (hi Cheshify!) I left on an admin's feedback thread is about as heartfelt as I can be and goes to show how influential this game has been over me.

I play SS13 because there isn't anything else like it. The community, the staff, the format, the everything. It's all community-made, community-run, and community-loved. 

^ tl;dr I discovered something that's totally unlike any other roleplaying game out there and it changed my life forever. Now I can't stay away from it.

Why do you play on Aurora?: I didn't want to play on Aurora initially for the same reasons I didn't want to play on Bay, which was because of the whole "canonicity" thing. I had just transferred from /TG/'s MRP where basically anything goes and all past rounds are canon no matter how weird or unrealistic they may be. Bay in particular left a bad taste in my mouth when an admin ran an event which was only clarified after the fact to be non-canon and left me to find it out in game talking with another player. Then I got over that. I realized that it existed for the same reason that reloading your save does in a video game. If the Horizon or any other ship and setting was constantly getting bombarded, boarded, or outright demolished it wouldn't make any sense for it to just poof back into existence the day after. 

Aurora has a lot of things that do it for me, first and foremost being holy fuck that's a lot of lore and the second being antagonist items that you can actually acknowledge and study ICly (again, on Bay energy swords "don't exist" or whatever). I like the feeling of working and contributing to a real setting, seeing my character(s) grow or shrivel up and die as they're left to the whims of the narrative and greater Conglomerate (did I ever tell you Kira lost her fucking leg? THAT WAS INSANE!!). I like the due diligence it takes to be able to write and portray an alien character, or the sportsmanship and technical skill required to be part of the command whitelist. I like asking admins for things and occasionally getting "HRGHRGHRGHHRGH" as a response to goofs when there's no one else on or while we're setting up an antagonist gimmick. I like coming together with players to make a clique that feels special (see GEVURAH/CHESED/BINAH, clan Drek'za, I made a group chat for and tried to canonize the 104th Fleet's marine attachment once lmao). I just like everything Aurora brings that other servers don't.

Sure, it gets tiring sometimes, but Aurora is dynamic, ever-shifting. If I'm upset I can take a break for a few months and come back with a clearer head and more things to do or discover. (More on that later, too.)

What do moderators do?: "Moderator" is a catch-all term for someone who moderates something (I know that's a book answer, stay with me here), but in the context of anything administrative and online it generally means someone who ensures quality inside and out of the game, which means handing out warnings to people who break or misinterpret the rules or more commonly answering questions from the day one player (or even other staff members). Moderators are the real-life equivalent of the command whitelist to me; they interpret and apply the rules accordingly, act as a role model for the rest of the community, and keep everything in-game (and sometimes out of it) running like clockwork. They're important for the same reason teaching aides are important: while the professors are making and maintaining the material, the aide is passing it out and sorting it. Obviously I could keep word-sandwiching this but the moderator role in a vacuum is fairly straight forward.

What does it mean to be a moderator for our server?: Like I said, interpret and apply the rules, act as a role model, keep things running smoothly and morale high, and ideally take work off the other branches where able. Interacting with the community, offering ideas, giving criticism and encouraging everyone (and I do mean everyone) around them, stuff like that. I think of Aurora's moderators specifically as your good classmate/friend who knows more about the material than you do during a lesson. Tap them on the shoulder and ask for help, watch them assist the teacher, quiet others down if they're making it hard to focus. To date I have literally never had a bad interaction with a moderator, and I chalk that up to the passive but very important role they fulfill in the staff hierarchy. (In my eyes, moderators deal with rule breaks and questions, admins deal with bans and gimmicks, headmins deal with the process/policies, and game masters/devs deal with the raw development of the game itself. Take any of those roles out and the rest are in shambles).

Why do you want to be a moderator?: I want to try it out. Seriously, I know that seems like a very barren and noncommittal answer—but I really mean it when I say I wanna know what goes on behind the scenes. I made several long-winded, defiant, argumentative and petty rants some months ago that were the culmination of seeing people break the rules and not understanding what led to their excision from the server. I didn't seek first to understand and I let my past bias of other administrative figures (see: my mentioning of GMod Dark RP and text format RP) blind me such that I was almost willing to go on a frustration-fueled tirade just to prove a point. The complaints I made then were some of the most egregious I've ever written and were the product of a lack of sleep, sense, and comradery. Apologizing to the people I offended and taking a good two going on three months away from Aurora was the first step, and I think dipping my toes into what administration is on SS13 is a fine enough second step. Besides, I know even if nothing else I'll come out with some more knowledge under my belt.

Hohkay. That out of the way, I also want to give back to the community for all the times they helped me. All the questions I've asked, all the IRs I've filed, all the mods and admins who've ever drop-kicked the nearest assistant named "Karl Marx" into the Living Quarters Lift and gave me advice on how to roleplay or approach situations in the future (Evandorf, Noble Row, and Comrade Batman are all great examples of players-made-moderator, with an extra shoutout to Lent as a lore dep). I want to answer questions, I want to make it easier for people to enjoy this game, because there just isn't anything else like it. I've made sprites for this server on more than one occasion and I've fantasized about being a dedicated spriter here more than once. I could go on and on.

What qualities do you possess that would make you a good moderator?: I think that if you give me a limited set of tools and a goal to accomplish I will basically die on the hill that is getting that thing done. I have an open schedule, and when talking to new players I find it easy to imagine myself in their position granted I've been in it before (I've asked staff to put up with some bizarre gimmick or character attribute on so many other text format/discord roleplays so many times that you could probably fill an encyclopedia with all of the borderline unreasonable (and more than ambitious) requests or ideas for plotlines or gear I've submitted). Show me a nine foot wall and I'll give you a ten foot ladder.

My last reason is that I'm plainly just new blood. I've never moderated something on this scale before and I've only experienced SS13 from a player's perspective, so I'm ripe to offer my opinions on that sort of thing if that's any help.

How well do you handle stress, anger, or insults?: On a professional level, that is to say in similar administrative roles I've been in or around over the years, all three of these things are a constant and can be difficult for me to manage without a proper support system. If I had to name one, I'd say stress is the most difficult for me; being angry just means I have to take a step back, and being insulted means I just ignore the part of their concern that has an insult in it (and ideally remind them that it doesn't do them any good). Stress however is a long-term thing that requires a lot of careful management that I'm frankly still constructing as a process, but that I think would be made much easier by having people to relate and vent to (in this instance, administration/other mods/etc). 

As you all no doubt have seen, I'm not perfect, but I'm a very different player than I am a moderator; there's an adjustment period before I get going. I learn from my mistakes and I don't let lightning strike twice. I like the term "fear of God" in reference to making enemies, because I don't want to make enemies. It's what stopped me from snowballing into another banned player.

Anything Else You Want to Add: 

Spoiler

This was a long one. I honestly thought about this for a few days and figured it would be a better choice than going for DLM. Well, I'd been thinking about it since way before then as a novelty and immediately after the initial break I'd taken as a way to actually rectify my mistakes and get a feel for what wasn't clicking initially, but I digress.

A lot of what I put here was really heartfelt, and in some instances erring on too much so, but I wanted to be fully transparent with why I'm applying and how I got here. A big part of that is owning up (yes, again) to my rocky understanding and relationship with staff. I don't want my reasoning to come off as too "pity party" or attention-seeking, but I also can't deny that all of what I said and did (sorry again, Matt/Arrow) is probably the biggest reason I have to try and be a moderator. I had initially thought about not applying at all for the same reasons many of my current Aurora buddies don't apply for a command or species whitelist, that of which being "oh, well staff doesn't like me, I said/did XYZ, etc," and I realized each and every single time they did, I said to them "just do it" because I didn't think (nor do I want them to think) staff is that judgmental or skeptical. I've seen people with horrible track records get second or third chances, so I figured, "why not?" And hey, if I get the position, I have more fuel to tell them "dude, it's not that big'a deal." If I don't, I have an idea of how it all works. Win-win.

I care a lot about this server and the bonds I've made between players and staff over these last couple of years. This place is magical, and SS13 has always been magical to me. I want experience as a moderator, I want to help the community, and I want to get to know what makes Aurora, Aurora.

Also I have no clue if mod applications are actually open. I think they are, because the main subforum says "OPENED" and I checked how many mods have stepped up/down since a call for them went out a year ago, but worst case scenario I resubmit this in however long when they actually are.

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