[Declined] Pruttehans's Unathi Whitelist Application!

[PrutteHans]

BYOND Key: PrutteHans

Character Names: Coilder Jackson

Species you are applying to play: Unathi

What color do you plan on making your first alien character (Dionaea & IPCs exempt): greenish?..

Have you read our lore section's page on this species?: Yeeee

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Please provide well articulated answers to the following questions in a paragraph format. One paragraph minimum per question

Why do you wish to play this specific race: Well, I have always wanted to play a alien race on this, and Unathi's seem pretty neat

Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human: Well they seem to be a lower 'rank' than humans, with less respect. Which is different from humans, all in all: They are really different, which makes it fun to try, as I plan on apping for more races in the future!

 

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Character Name: Eshiosh Languageh

Please provide a short backstory for this character, approximately 2 paragraphs

A Unathi cook, caring about being alive, to make delicious dishes! He is the the kitchen alot, and tries to make his customers like his food, a happy reptilian chef, not caring about bothaniks really, as he is Unathi, and they mostly see vegetables and fruits as decorations. Any order is accepted, and will be treated like if it was from a royal member! When the food is done, he will call the customer through PDA and see if they want it. If he uses too much time on it, he will make some bread to them too. If the customer gives a expensive ingredient to him, and he messes up, he will pay the ingredient back, and tell them to come back again. All these rules are made by Eshiosh himself, and he follows them as, if he didn't he would be punished with death.

What do you like about this character?

How would you rate your role-playing ability? I would say I am pretty experienced myself, I have rp'd alot...so I am good!

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Notes: The name may not be the best. I have never been good at names, and this is no exception, so bare with me q.q

[PrutteHans]

hope I did it right, I used lotta time on it c:

[Fire and Glory]

Well I've never seen you or your character before so I am going off the application alone and well...

 

Why do you wish to play this specific race: Well, I have always wanted to play a alien race on this, and Unathi's seem pretty neat

I've never been swayed all that much by the amount of content on this particular question but it's awfully sparse and it calls for a paragraph rather then a sentence..

 

Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human: Well they seem to be a lower 'rank' than humans, with less respect. Which is different from humans, all in all: They are really different, which makes it fun to try, as I plan on apping for more races in the future!

What actually makes role-playing them different though? What of their culture and beliefs that sets them apart humans? Knowing they (along with all the other xeno races) are supposedly of lower priority then humans doesn't really show much and the only other thing you say on this is that they are "different".

 

Please provide a short backstory for this character, approximately 2 paragraphs

A Unathi cook, caring about being alive, to make delicious dishes! He is the the kitchen alot, and tries to make his customers like his food, a happy reptilian chef, not caring about bothaniks really, as he is Unathi, and they mostly see vegetables and fruits as decorations. Any order is accepted, and will be treated like if it was from a royal member! When the food is done, he will call the customer through PDA and see if they want it. If he uses too much time on it, he will make some bread to them too. If the customer gives a expensive ingredient to him, and he messes up, he will pay the ingredient back, and tell them to come back again. All these rules are made by Eshiosh himself, and he follows them as, if he didn't he would be punished with death.

This tells us what he does in his job, not his actual background, you're generally expected to tell us of where he's from, how things were like when he was growing up, how he got his job at NT, etc.

Now, I am not Jackboot, the Unathi loremeister (unless I am?), so of course this is all just my own opinion, but I do believe he'd echo a lot of my beliefs regarding this, so I'd say you should probably give it a lot of work.

Also Eshiosh's clan-name is 'Language' with an h at the end so perhaps try again on that one.

[PrutteHans]

the last name I just noticed, crap..and yeah this is the first app I have ever done, so I knew it wouldn't be accepted q.q

[Nanako]

English isn't your first language, right?

your backstory doesn't mention anything about unathi lore at all, beside that they eat meat. Where did this character come from, how were they raised, what in their life led them to this profession, etc

I'm ot sure what bothaniks are, is that some alien race from another server? we don't have them here

The section about why you want to play an unathi is also kind of 'lol randumb'. you just wanted to play an alien and they're the first that came to mind?

[Ricky_the_banshee]

A boy a race app. Get ready to grab your popcorn, think of the best words to sound VERY smart while conducting your analysis and REVIEW that shit!

Okay, but jokes aside. Time to review.

 

Why do you wish to play this specific race: Well, I have always wanted to play a alien race on this, and Unathi's seem pretty neat

 

This answer seems way too short for me. WHY is it that you wanted to start with the Unathi? WHAT aspect of them made you choose this race specificly? More details would be wonderful.

 

Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human: Well they seem to be a lower 'rank' than humans, with less respect. Which is different from humans, all in all: They are really different, which makes it fun to try, as I plan on apping for more races in the future!

 

I am just going to ask the same questions as Fire and Glory already asked. This answer doens't show anything that gives us an insight as to your perspective on Unathi other than "Inferior Lizard people".

 

Character Name: Eshiosh Languageh

Puny name is puny. Ding.

 

Please provide a short backstory for this character, approximately 2 paragraphs

A Unathi cook, caring about being alive, to make delicious dishes! He is the the kitchen alot, and tries to make his customers like his food, a happy reptilian chef, not caring about bothaniks really, as he is Unathi, and they mostly see vegetables and fruits as decorations. Any order is accepted, and will be treated like if it was from a royal member! When the food is done, he will call the customer through PDA and see if they want it. If he uses too much time on it, he will make some bread to them too. If the customer gives a expensive ingredient to him, and he messes up, he will pay the ingredient back, and tell them to come back again. All these rules are made by Eshiosh himself, and he follows them as, if he didn't he would be punished with death.

 

Okay, this looks more like some PR for an Unathi chef trying to be famous than a background story. And once again it doesn't really show much of you knowledge into the Unathi lore itself. Yes "he likes meat", I got that part from the using fruit and vegetables as decoration. But what about his past? Just WHO is Eshiosh Languageh? Because I can't find anything back in this background other than "He is a chef and if you don't like his food he will kill commit seppuku."

Now then, as an add-up to all of this, I don't think you are ready yet for the Unathi app. Not only have I never heard of you before. But as Nanako and Fire and Glory already said before me, you don't seem to know that much about what it means to BE an Unathi. So I'm afraid I'm giving this a -1 as a result.

[PrutteHans]

R.I.P my first app, you will never be missed...may you sleep well, goodnight......NOTE TO ALL REVIEWERS! I will remake it, better, faster, stronger tomorrow when I have got rest...I will read the Unathi lore through again, this time I won't try to RP while I write it, but only think about my app! Glad you lik-...uh..disliked it! but yeah....I am gonna remake it! dun't worrey!

[PrutteHans]

Time for Prutte's round two, oh boy...let's see if this is any better than the last one...

BYOND Key: PrutteHans

Character Names: Coilder Jackson

Species you are applying to play: Unathi

What color do you plan on making your first alien character (Dionaea & IPCs exempt): Greenish (duh)

Have you read our lore section's page on this species?: Yep, I've read both lore on Unathi, Moghes and Unathi Culture two times now!

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Please provide well articulated answers to the following questions in a paragraph format. One paragraph minimum per question

Why do you wish to play this specific race: Well on almost every game I play that have more races than human, IF they have a reptilian race it almost always end up as my favorite race there is. Unathi also just seem interesting when I read through their lore, as they seem to use more, old? ways of hunting, decorating, etc.

Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human: Less respected than Humans, maybe not as experienced with technology, opposite of a vegan, their needs, Moghes....oh and they are sexist.....very sexist.

 

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Character Name: Raiso Largren

Please provide a short backstory for this character, approximately 2 paragraphs Living with his family in their clay house, he would, like their culture says, let the females cook food. Maybe sometimes if he hunted with fellow Unathi he helped with the food, but normally the females were the cooks, really the females were waiters. He didn't have a proplem with it but he wanted to make food. So at his adult age, he would walk out himself, to find a new place to live, alone. So when he found a place, he made food and he liked making it, and at last he made a choice. He heard about it on other planets, selling food to others. So he did it! He made a little place where he could invite people in and sell them food, and later on he made the little house bigger! And at last, he had made what others called; A resturant. Years later he would hear about 'Space Station 13'. He heard he could get a job there as a cook, also serving for people, so he quickly ran up and got a job. From there on he works on Space Station 13 as a chef.

What do you like about this character? I have finally made a character I like! and I like him caaauusee: He has a job I actually know how to do, he is a race I like, also people would act ALOT different to him, compared to Coilder Jackson (my previous character) as he is a different race...and there are spieciestsstststs (basicly racist ppl)

How would you rate your role-playing ability? idk, I am preeeettyy good I think.

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Notes: This one feel like it is gonna be as bad as the last one, and the name is not any better.

[PrutteHans]

I hope the second one here is better q.q *coughcoughIdontthinkitiscoughcough*

[Ricky_the_banshee]

Uhm, I don't think you're supposed to post your NEW application into your old one. Especially not when the first one hasn't been locked/closed yet. Other than that, your backstory and overall changes appear to be just an attempt to make your character look like the perfect Unathi.

When it comes to RP skills, I don't know. I have never really had any interactions with you so far. So I'll leave that opinion to others. And as a side note, it's not "Space Station 13". The station itself is called the NSS Exodus, which just shows how little you know about the lore in general actually. Not really helpful for your Unathi app.

But this post, I mean...;

 

[PrutteHans]

rip.

[Guest Marlon Phoenix]

Hello!

Like other posts in the thread, your application doesn't really portray knowledge of the unathi species, just a basic assessment of his career as a chef and how he used to liv in a clay(??) house. There are also other issues, such as calling our workplace SS13 instead of the Aurora (I even accept Exodus being mentioned, even if that's not entirely accurate, since it's confusing since the map change)

A future application would be improved by trying to tie your proposed unathi character to aspects of unathi society or culture. Is your character from the Hegemony or is he part of one of the smaller independent nations on Moghes? How is the life of his clan/himself affected by the global war the planet was rocked by? How does his family and clan feel about his choices? These are some examples of questions to think about when trying to place yourself into the unathi lore.

But this application itself I will have to decline; I encourage you to reapply in the future!