[Denied]Raven's Secondary Skrell App

[LordRaven001]

BYOND Key: LordRaven001

Character Names: Too many to list. The character I play the most is Zohjar Rasateir.

Species you are applying to play: Skrell

What color do you plan on making your first alien character (Dionaea & IPCs exempt): Grey/Green one of the two.

Have you read our lore section's page on this species?: Yes

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Please provide well articulated answers to the following questions in a paragraph format. One paragraph minimum per question

Why do you wish to play this specific race: I want to play this specific race because it offers a uniqueness none of the other races offer. The skrell are a very prestigious and respected race that hold a vast intellect of many things and technology that most other races can barely dream of much less accomplish. What really makes me want to explore this race is the lore. The lore contains some of the most interesting and creative designs i've seen so far, With the Gliutip'Iyaz university to Glorsh Omega, This race holds so many things that can be used to unlock and expand roleplay that I just can't resist not applying.

Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human: Lore, Anatomy, Physiology, Actions. Basically everything is different from roleplaying a human. Lets start off with the vast admiration of science the skrellian race has. They are renowned as the most technologically advanced race in the history of our little bundle of lore, and their fear of machines is astronomical in size and completely warranted with what happened with Glorsh due to the sterilization and genophage.

 

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Character Name: Zol-quxqiq Xeir'quil

Please provide a short backstory for this character, approximately 2 paragraphs Zol-quxqiq Xeir'quil was a young male skrellian who was born January/Sixteen/2400 (1/16/2400) He was born to a very wealthy family who prided themselves on attempting to advance treatments for the genophage and hoping one day they can reach leaps and bounds in finally putting an end to the horrific creation that was thrust upon them by the cold and calculating Glorsh. His parents had high standards for Zol as all Skrellian parents do, wanting him to go try to get into The Aloise University of Medical Sciences just like them. They wanted him to take up the family business of sourts and attempt to strive at curing the genophage. He took this to heart and propelled himself into his studies, he constantly studied the genophage, the scientific process, anatomy of the Skrellian race and clinical medicine specializing in infectious diseases. thirteen years after his birth the Skrell met another race, The humans.

Zol was fascinated with the human physiology and anatomy, Even at the young age of thirteen he enjoyed speaking with humans and understanding their point of view. He met a human scientist studying the Skrell. That scientists name was Dr. Joesph Richwald. Dr. Richwald was a human wanting to understand the genophage, studying it with Zol's parents and attempting to bring a new perspective on the virus.

Ten years after Zol met Dr.Richwald he was accepted into The Aloise University of Medical Sciences. He was taking advanced courses on the scientific process, the skrellian anatomy, and general medicine. Zol still had a passion in his heart about attempting to cure the Genophage. He purchased numerous books on the current scientific advancements against the genophage and attempt to build off of that, After numerous failed experiments and countless of funds wasted, He moved on... He craved more knowledge and despised being defeated. The Genophage has won this battle, but Zol will attempt to win the war.

What do you like about this character? His intellect and determination to stopping this disease.

How would you rate your role-playing ability? 8/10, Always room for improvement.

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Notes: I had my Skrell whitelist justifiably stripped from me, But I have learned a lot from that strip as it was one of the main reasons I left the community for as long as I did, I reflected on my actions and concluded what I did wrong and will make sure it will not happen again. So i'll take you up on that chance you gave me to re-apply after a week, I didn't re-apply sooner as I didn't feel like I fully grasped the Skrell lore. I do now and I hope you will give me another chance in this journey. Thanks. As always feedback is appreciated and encouraged.

[Coalf]

Well, I don't have much to say towards this app.

I would call it weak in the backstory department but it has everything that a backstory needs, motivation, reasons, personality.

Now for the point I can judge you, role-play.

You seem like a fine guy on that, you have your on and off moments but we all have our ups and downs don't we?

One great instance I remember was Sap being held hostage and a scared hostage at that, actually pleading for your life and I must say it was enjoyable.

But one thing, where the fuck does Zohjar work?

He's a doctor according to your custom item, who worked at cargo and now works in xenobiology?

I mean I saw you learn xenobiology as a lab assistant ICly for 6 rounds I'll give you that but don't you have to have special diplomas for that? I'd like that cleared up.

Otherwise I don't know your history and frankly I don't care, people change and shutting you down because you did something a long time ago seems unfair to me.

[LordRaven001]

Well, I don't have much to say towards this app.

I would call it weak in the backstory department but it has everything that a backstory needs, motivation, reasons, personality.

Now for the point I can judge you, role-play.

You seem like a fine guy on that, you have your on and off moments but we all have our ups and downs don't we?

One great instance I remember was Sap being held hostage and a scared hostage at that, actually pleading for your life and I must say it was enjoyable.

But one thing, where the fuck does Zohjar work?

He's a doctor according to your custom item, who worked at cargo and now works in xenobiology?

I mean I saw you learn xenobiology as a lab assistant ICly for 6 rounds I'll give you that but don't you have to have special diplomas for that? I'd like that cleared up.

Otherwise I don't know your history and frankly I don't care, people change and shutting you down because you did something a long time ago seems unfair to me.

 

Zohjar works/worked in Medical and Xenobiology, He was only assigned to cargo technician because of a suspension due to his lack of respect for his patients. (I canonize all decisions made with his job, For example if a Captain suspends me I will speak with them in LOOC how long would said suspension last and we come to an agreement, Just a thing to better the roleplay)

Zohjars diplomas if we are going off of real time right now consist of. M.D, Bachelors in Ethology, Bachelor of Surgery and 63 years of life experience.

If we are going off of ingame time right now he has a M.D, Bacehlors in Xenobiology, and Bachelor of Surgery with the 63 years of experience.

He has a passion for discovering how things/what things do, I modeled him after my own curiosity with forensic pathology. He likes to learn how thinks tick and what caused them to tick or tock if that makes any sense. Thank you for your feedback and your support, I will work on being more clear and concise with my characters

[Loow]

Hey. Loow here.

I'm sorry to see that there hasn't been much if any feedback on this application. It always helps when there's a discussion on an app. It gives insight into what you're thinking about a character and helps people find something they want to latch onto and talk about. It's like a circle of criticism in a way.

I'd like to go ahead and drop some feedback so you have at least something to show for all of this.

Keep in mind, this is all just feedback. When it comes right down to it, this application lacks endorsement and runs short on discussion.

I want to play this specific race because it offers a uniqueness none of the other races offer. The skrell are a very prestigious and respected race that hold a vast intellect of many things and technology that most other races can barely dream of much less accomplish. What really makes me want to explore this race is the lore. The lore contains some of the most interesting and creative designs i've seen so far, With the Gliutip'Iyaz university to Glorsh Omega, This race holds so many things that can be used to unlock and expand roleplay that I just can't resist not applying.

The underlined sections above mark very strong wording which makes a pretty simple statement. You feel strongly about some details of the lore, but this section goes on to say more of the same. What's gotten you so interested? What makes you think? What do you think about these things that make you think? It can't hurt to expound on and it might encourage a little conversation on a future app.

As Coalf said, the biography could be more gripping, but it is not inherently bad. Recently, you mentioned that you had gotten cracking on another, more expansive draft of Xeir'quil's story. I'm hopeful that seeing a little more content might encourage more readers to want to respond to a future app.

There are a few grammatical notes which could be made regarding capitalization, commas, and sentence structure. I won't dwell on these.

In Private Messages and the like, you've been very concerned about if your past actions mean you might be "shut down" or automatically denied on the grounds of "That time LR messed up." Yeah, don't worry about that. I think I've been crystal clear since the strip took effect that you're allowed to reapply. I'm pretty sure I even encouraged it. To quote myself:

 

When you had minor issues in the past, you reacted very well to feedback. By reapplying, you will be able to see if anyone out there has feedback to give you.

 

Reassess. Revitalize. Reapply.

Application denied.