ngdaniel96 Posted February 19, 2017 Share Posted February 19, 2017 BYOND Key: Ngdaniel96 Character Names: - Ariff Ng - Colten Flack - Mustafa El-Tahir Species you are applying to play: Tajara What color do you plan on making your first alien character (Dionaea & IPCs exempt): White (M'sai) Have you read our lore section's page on this species?: Yes Please provide well articulated answers to the following questions in a paragraph format. One paragraph minimum per question Why do you wish to play this specific race: I've figured that I wanted to play as something different than generic human crew that I tend to make, I have role-played many kinds of personality, ethnicity and background as human and I figure that I want to try my hands on playing as a Tajaran crewmember that speaks in a slightly broken Tau-Ceti basic. Another reason for this is because I made a little SS13 fiction of mine and one of the characters is a Tajara with lore based off Aurora's and I wish to play as the aforementioned character on the station. I should also mention that I never thought of playing as a Tajara until I observed Tajaran players on Aurora which I must say are good, and quite inspiring in a way. Identify what makes role-playing this species different than role-playing a Human: Tajara can't wear gloves or shoes because of their claws and digitigrade limbs. Also, they can only wear hardsuits and helmets specially made for their Tajaran anatomy but softsuits such as a firesuit and biosuit is alright for them. A tajara does not speak in first person but instead speaks in third person, furthermore they tend to roll and extend their 'R' when speaking, for example; instead of saying "I am making an application for a new role in my favourite game, they would say "This one is making an application forrr a new rrrrole in his favourrrite game.". Just like human, Tajara has different ethnicity and languages, tajaran ethnicity are divided into the Hharar, Zhan-Khazan, Njarir’Akhran and the M’sai, as for their languages, some of their known unique languages are Siik'Maas, Siik'Tajr and Nal'rasan (Only available for M'sai). To expand further on languages, Siik'Maas is the federal language of the the People's Republic and is the prevalent language on Adhomai, it can be learned by human although not to perfection due to the lack of proper biology. Some of the vocabulary requires subtle body movements that can be a challenge for human to learn too. Meanwhile, Siik'Tajr is a younger language, designed as a language for revolutionary to use to avoid their communication from being heard and intercepted by law enforcement, it is the mixture of Siik'maas and the M'sai language of Nal'rasan which demands more body language. Unlike Siik'Maas, Siik'Tajr is commonly used as a second language due to its complexity specially for families that fought in the Great War. After the last revolution which resulted in the assassination of President Rhagrrhuzau Hadii who was the initial leader of the People's Republic, present day Adhomai is divided into three major factions; the People's Republic of Adhomai which is now under the leadership of Njadrasanukii Hadii, the Adhomai Liberation Army lead by Supreme Commander Halkiikir Na'ted'Akhanand who was Rhagrrhuzau Hadii's old friend and ally and the New Kingdom of Adhomai ruled by King Nazira Ka'rimah, all three of the factions are at war with each other. Character Name: Firdaus Al-Narabi Please provide a short backstory for this character, approximately 2 paragraphs Growing up on Trizar, Firdaus spent most of his childhood exploring and hunting around the mountains near his home with his father Rasul Al-Narabi, he picked up the basic survivalist and tracking skills from the experience. In fact, he spent so much time around the mountains that he knows some part of them like the back of his hand to the point where he adopted some caves and holes in the mountains as his camping ground or 'secondary home'. As time passes, the hunting and exploring routine with his father became more different with his father introducing new 'hunting grounds' or 'exploring site' to him where Firdaus will often find himself left alone by his father for an hour in the wilderness while his father goes away to 'take care of something', his curiosity led him to find out that his father has been using hunting and exploring as a facade for his secret rendezvous in the wilderness with rebels of the ALA to provide sensitive information such as PRA police and patrol route around the area. Being a child, Firdaus thought nothing of it, and understand that he doesn't have the power to intervene even if he wanted to that is until one day, in one of the illegal rendezvous; PRA soldiers laid ambush on their usual meeting ground and opened fire indiscriminately, killing a several of the ALA members and a few M'sai explorers in the area without knowing if they're innocent or not. Fortunately, Firdaus' father Rasul somewhat expected it from his instinct and was able to flee into the snow covered forest with his son seconds before the PRA army strike. Despite their early escape, the PRA army still gave chase. At that point, the father and son figured that heading back to their home will only risk the rest of the family and so instead, Firdaus lead his father to hide inside one of the many caves that Firdaus is familiar with; hiding in the deepest and darkest corner of the cave while narrowly avoiding the PRA search party. Never in his life has Firdaus felt so scared, hearing the radio chatters and the sound of jackboots walking near the hiding place of him and his father as PRA soldiers occasionally stopped by to check the caves. After hiding in a cramped position for almost 4 hours, PRA army finally left the area; allowing for Firdaus and his father to go home unscathed. But even though they survived that day, it still traumatized the father and son, furthermore, Rasul decided that that is the last time he will ever risk his life and his family to ever work with the rebels again. Meanwhile, Firdaus decided that Adhomai is too dangerous of a place for him to raise a family as his adulthood approaches and made it his life goal to escape the planet with his clan although a few years later, his father succumbs to an untimely death when he slipped and fell off a cliff while hunting on the mountains, Firdaus continues to hunt and explore alone on the mountain sometimes. At the age of 22, Firdaus started a business of selling camping rations and equipment to outsiders that wishes to explore or camp around the mountains but unfortunately, it did not last long because of the war and how the mountains is right next to a ALA territory. He kick started a new business of selling animal hides and carved bones a year later which led to him meeting with a human scientist Dr. Ariff Ng who was on the planet to explore potential archaeological site and entered Firdaus' store to inquire about the mountains. They became friends when Firdaus personally guided Dr. Ng around the mountains. Impressed by Firdaus skills as a tracker and hunter, Dr. Ng recruited Firdaus as his assistant which Firdaus sees as his ticket off the planet. After going to space for the first time on Dr. Ng's ship and working with him for 6 years exploring far away planets and civilization; Firdaus finally quit his job and started his new career as a travelling merchant after being given a ship of his own as a reward by Dr. Ng, using his ship as the warehouse and primary storefront, Firdaus would travel the galaxy selling all sort of goods including tools, weapons and convenience items. Using the money he earned from his business, Firdaus moved to a new, cheap and comfortable home on the frontier planet of Odin IV. The comfort there did not last long however when a civil war broke out on the planet as well. Although Firdaus still profits from the war by selling weapons and rations, the price of his stock increases as supply becomes increasingly rare with many trade embargoes being imposed on the planet. Firdaus since then took up a part-time job with Nanotrasen as a cargo staff to earn enough money to maintain his business and perhaps gather enough money to get off the war-ridden planet. What do you like about this character? This character comes a long way, having grown up as a hunter in rural area and indirectly witnessed the horror of tyranny and war on Adhomai, he has no sense of sentimentality and doesn't seem to mind leaving his home planet for somewhere better. In a way of saying, he is a rather selfish Tajara. With only self-comfort and wealth in mind, this character is an ideal opportunist and money grubber and I like the thought of being running scams and attempting to ransom some goods from cargo to crewmember on the station for extra money. How would you rate your role-playing ability? Uuuuuh, maybe a 5/10? I am bad with english evidently but I know how to stay in-character and stick to the lore provided. Notes: This is literally my first time applying for an alien species after 5 years of playing SS13. I really wanted to try something new and I do hope that the lore moderators here would give me a shot EDIT: I mispelled 'PRA' which stands for People Republic of Adhomai into 'PLA' a.k.a China , now I've fixed it. Link to comment
Mofo1995 Posted February 23, 2017 Share Posted February 23, 2017 Hello! You've written a pretty lengthy app, and I'd prefer to examine it all in good detail before making a decision. In the meantime, you don't appear to have any feedback from anyone. While it's not required to get accepted, I'd like to ask that you take three days to advertise this application in OOC or to anyone you might know who might be able to provide either constructive criticism or in-depth feedback on your roleplaying abilities. I'll be back on the 26th. Link to comment
ngdaniel96 Posted February 23, 2017 Author Share Posted February 23, 2017 Hello! You've written a pretty lengthy app, and I'd prefer to examine it all in good detail before making a decision. In the meantime, you don't appear to have any feedback from anyone. While it's not required to get accepted, I'd like to ask that you take three days to advertise this application in OOC or to anyone you might know who might be able to provide either constructive criticism or in-depth feedback on your roleplaying abilities. I'll be back on the 26th. Aye aye. Link to comment
Mofo1995 Posted March 4, 2017 Share Posted March 4, 2017 Hello! I see you didn't get any feedback. I will now be reading and evaluating your application. Link to comment
Mofo1995 Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 All righty, I read through your application. I think there's a lot on the table here worth talking about -- in a good way, but also in the way of getting some clarification. I'll start with my thoughts before moving to questions. I like how Firdaus found himself involved in the factional struggles back home. Not everyone needs to have their village destroyed and not everyone has to be a soldier, being affiliated with sympathizers temporarily is a refreshing and original touch. I also like how he operated a tourist trap by selling common items to people who made the mistake of wanting to explore Adhomai. It's a novel take and I think it did a good job of establishing the greed theme of Firdaus. I'm also a fan of how he turned a Sherpa job into escaping the planet, and by extension the war. I enjoy that the Adhomai civil war isn't the only conflict in his life and that he doesn't make it the center of his past, the fact that he moved to a frontier planet that also broke out in civil war has a comic irony about it, and his cynical decision to use it to his advantage to make a profit gives him an aura of shrewdness, reinforcing the earlier theme of greed while side-stepping the tragic elements of the situation. Now for a few questions: 1.) Does Firdaus still live on the Frontier on Odin IV? Does he travel to work everyday? If not, where does he live? 2.) What is his current friendship with Ariff Ng? He got him off Adhomai and even gave him a ship! Do they stay in touch and did Dr. Ng key him into his job at NT? 3.) How old is he now, as of 2459? 4.) Is the nature of his arms dealing business in Odin IV legal or illegal? I.E. is he a smuggler or is it a legitimate business on his employment records? Once these questions are answered, I'll be glad to do my final weigh in. Link to comment
DatBerry Posted March 7, 2017 Share Posted March 7, 2017 The only interaction i had with ariff ended up with me writing my second IR ever, i rarely bother with writing those but that incident was just chucklefucking with forcegloves out of science. And the story only tells me of the second coming of another criminal cat with the same attitude as some "cats" -1 from me till i see improvments Link to comment
ngdaniel96 Posted March 10, 2017 Author Share Posted March 10, 2017 All righty, I read through your application. I think there's a lot on the table here worth talking about -- in a good way, but also in the way of getting some clarification. I'll start with my thoughts before moving to questions. I like how Firdaus found himself involved in the factional struggles back home. Not everyone needs to have their village destroyed and not everyone has to be a soldier, being affiliated with sympathizers temporarily is a refreshing and original touch. I also like how he operated a tourist trap by selling common items to people who made the mistake of wanting to explore Adhomai. It's a novel take and I think it did a good job of establishing the greed theme of Firdaus. I'm also a fan of how he turned a Sherpa job into escaping the planet, and by extension the war. I enjoy that the Adhomai civil war isn't the only conflict in his life and that he doesn't make it the center of his past, the fact that he moved to a frontier planet that also broke out in civil war has a comic irony about it, and his cynical decision to use it to his advantage to make a profit gives him an aura of shrewdness, reinforcing the earlier theme of greed while side-stepping the tragic elements of the situation. Now for a few questions: 1.) Does Firdaus still live on the Frontier on Odin IV? Does he travel to work everyday? If not, where does he live? 2.) What is his current friendship with Ariff Ng? He got him off Adhomai and even gave him a ship! Do they stay in touch and did Dr. Ng key him into his job at NT? 3.) How old is he now, as of 2459? 4.) Is the nature of his arms dealing business in Odin IV legal or illegal? I.E. is he a smuggler or is it a legitimate business on his employment records? Once these questions are answered, I'll be glad to do my final weigh in. To answer the questions. 1.) Yes, he does. He use the same ship that he bought using the profits of his own business to travel to Nanotrasen docks for transfer to his workstation. 2.) Dr Ng while not a trader like Firdaus is a good mentor and friend to him. Firdaus owed a lot of gratitude towards the man for helping him to leave his war torn home planet behind and for gifting him with a ship. They still do stay in touch and currently Ariff works for him from time to time now that Firdaus runs a legitimate business, however Firdaus got into his employment with NT by his own effort with Ariff only recommending him to the company for work. 3.)Firdaus is 27 years old as of 2459. 4.) He is a legal arms dealer on Odin IV, providing arms only to legitimate government soldiers over rebels and criminals. Thank you for your consideration, if there is any more question or suggestion. I am willing to answer and adapt. The only interaction i had with ariff ended up with me writing my second IR ever, i rarely bother with writing those but that incident was just chucklefucking with forcegloves out of science. And the story only tells me of the second coming of another criminal cat with the same attitude as some "cats" -1 from me till i see improvments Maybe that's a little too short of an interaction to draw a conclusion from. I know and like Bob Oster but my character can't seem to really engage in any conversation with the busy man while I did received a few technical assistance from him a several time. The time when you got slapped with the forcegloves was probably the only time I intentionally went chucklefucking because I was so excited over my achievement of being able to research past combat research level 3 for the first time in my SS13 game ever. But that was no excuse, I'm really sorry about that but I just want you to understand that not all of my characters have the tendency of being that bad, plus as far as I am concerned; I don't have any bad records on the server even after being a regular for nearly a year. But then again, thanks for your feedback. Link to comment
ngdaniel96 Posted March 10, 2017 Author Share Posted March 10, 2017 All righty, I read through your application. I think there's a lot on the table here worth talking about -- in a good way, but also in the way of getting some clarification. I'll start with my thoughts before moving to questions. I like how Firdaus found himself involved in the factional struggles back home. Not everyone needs to have their village destroyed and not everyone has to be a soldier, being affiliated with sympathizers temporarily is a refreshing and original touch. I also like how he operated a tourist trap by selling common items to people who made the mistake of wanting to explore Adhomai. It's a novel take and I think it did a good job of establishing the greed theme of Firdaus. I'm also a fan of how he turned a Sherpa job into escaping the planet, and by extension the war. I enjoy that the Adhomai civil war isn't the only conflict in his life and that he doesn't make it the center of his past, the fact that he moved to a frontier planet that also broke out in civil war has a comic irony about it, and his cynical decision to use it to his advantage to make a profit gives him an aura of shrewdness, reinforcing the earlier theme of greed while side-stepping the tragic elements of the situation. Now for a few questions: 1.) Does Firdaus still live on the Frontier on Odin IV? Does he travel to work everyday? If not, where does he live? 2.) What is his current friendship with Ariff Ng? He got him off Adhomai and even gave him a ship! Do they stay in touch and did Dr. Ng key him into his job at NT? 3.) How old is he now, as of 2459? 4.) Is the nature of his arms dealing business in Odin IV legal or illegal? I.E. is he a smuggler or is it a legitimate business on his employment records? Once these questions are answered, I'll be glad to do my final weigh in. To answer the questions. 1.) Yes, he does. He use the same ship that he bought using the profits of his own business to travel to Nanotrasen docks for transfer to his workstation. 2.) Dr Ng while not a trader like Firdaus is a good mentor and friend to him. Firdaus owed a lot of gratitude towards the man for helping him to leave his war torn home planet behind and for gifting him with a ship. They still do stay in touch and currently Ariff works for him from time to time now that Firdaus runs a legitimate business, however Firdaus got into his employment with NT by his own effort with Ariff only recommending him to the company for work. 3.)Firdaus is 27 years old as of 2459. 4.) He is a legal arms dealer on Odin IV, providing arms only to legitimate government soldiers over rebels and criminals. Thank you for your consideration, if there is any more question or suggestion. I am willing to answer and adapt. The only interaction i had with ariff ended up with me writing my second IR ever, i rarely bother with writing those but that incident was just chucklefucking with forcegloves out of science. And the story only tells me of the second coming of another criminal cat with the same attitude as some "cats" -1 from me till i see improvments Maybe that's a little too short of an interaction to draw a conclusion from. I know and like Bob Oster but my character can't seem to really engage in any conversation with the busy man while I did received a few technical assistance from him a several time. The time when you got slapped with the forcegloves was probably the only time I intentionally went chucklefucking because I was so excited over my achievement of being able to research past combat research level 3 for the first time in my SS13 game ever. But that was no excuse, I'm really sorry about that but I just want you to understand that not all of my characters have the tendency of being that bad, plus as far as I am concerned; I don't have any bad records on the server even after being a regular for nearly a year. But then again, thanks for your feedback. Link to comment
Mofo1995 Posted March 11, 2017 Share Posted March 11, 2017 All righty, well, I can't leave this whitelist application open forever. Right now the application isn't bad, it has some endearing elements to it but it doesn't strike me as particularly strong. I think you handled DatBerry's response very maturely and I am satisfied with your answers to my questions. Rain or shine I'll drop a final answer tomorrow, but I strongly encourage you to get more feedback so that I can get a better understanding of your abilities. Pester your friends if need be, the more information about you that I can get, the better. Link to comment
Synnono Posted March 12, 2017 Share Posted March 12, 2017 I appreciate this backstory's details, and like Mofo mentioned, having a character whose personal conflicts are not directly tied to the civil war on his homeworld is a refreshing change of pace. I don't think that the onset of another questionably-ethical character should be a negative in a Tajaran whitelist application, either. War has a way of subverting people and their morals, and Firdaus is a well-illustrated product of those conflicts, even as he seems to have escaped much of the suffering they cause. It's even a bit refreshing to see someone who isn't entirely being exploited by NanoTrasen - in this case, it seems like Firdaus is taking the initiative to prop himself up rather than being forced to sign on without another option. As for the player, I have played several rounds with Doctor Ng as my Lab Assistant, Zahra Karimi. While our interactions weren't always lengthy or deeply revealing, Ariff's player conveyed a memorable character via an easy-to-identify, unique personality that prompted me to ask questions. The attention they've given to the application here gives me some confidence they'd be able to play a compelling and inclusive Tajara, and I'd be happy to see them get the chance. Link to comment
Mofo1995 Posted March 13, 2017 Share Posted March 13, 2017 All right, it was a tough decision, but I've decided to give you and Firdaus a chance. You seemed really penitent about the criticisms DatBerry brought up, but be sure to keep Firdaus' merchant tendencies in check and not out of hand, particularly as a non-antagonist. Application approved. Link to comment
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